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abcmommy
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| Posted: April 02 2006 at 4:06pm | IP Logged
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do your kids attend at your parish?
My oldest needs to do RCIA and as we are moving its no use starting classes here. when I asked at church the reply from the DRE was that he would need to go to PSR (aka CCD) and he would also need to leave the church and go to Breaking Open the Word with other catechumens.
I'm not crazy about either idea and have no idea what will happen when we move. I'd prefer to avoid CCD if possible.
I intend to see about an atrium program for him if there is one close enough to be feasible. The rest of the RCIA program will be prescribed by the parish I am sure? Its very confusing. I would prefer to do it on our own as part of our school... I'd love to do a sacrement notebook like the ones some of you have done.
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Elizabeth
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I'm confused too.  RCIA is the Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults. The atrium has programs for children 3-12 (though it's rare to find a 9-12 atrium). How old is your son? Which sacraments has he not yet recieved?
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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abcmommy
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| Posted: April 02 2006 at 7:24pm | IP Logged
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Yes, RCIA is for adults but apparently there isnt really a RCIC, officially (altho some people call it that) and since my child is almost 9 (above the age of reason-7) he can not be baptised without receiving his sacrements of confirmation and reconciliation and first communion. I never got a clear response whether he would leave mass and go in a group of *adult* catachumens to this "breaking open the word.". The leaving mass part bothers me, bc who will be with him?
This site has an explanation of what I have heard here in my parish- http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Forum/8839/Page2.html
Regardless of this child's situation, could others please tell what they do? do you kids homeschool for the religious ed or go to the group classes offered for kids? If you do not use the parish rel. ed do your children have to prove in some way that they are prepared for the sacrements? Is there an official teaching about this? Does it depend on the diocese or the region of the country?
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abcmommy
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| Posted: April 02 2006 at 7:51pm | IP Logged
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Also another question- Is it necessary for a child to take 3 full yrs to prepare for these sacraments? It seems a long time for a small kid to wait and also worries me bc he will then go unbaptised for so long...what if something bad happened?
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Rachel May
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We don't do CCD anymore. After Kindergarten I felt they had been led astray enough by bad teaching and poor books. The oldest are in 1st and are making their 1st confession/Communion this year which I arranged with our pastor who was very supportive.
I taught RCIC to a 7 year old a few years ago. In one school year he was considered by our priest to be prepared for his Baptism, 1st Holy Communion, and Confirmation. His family was NOT like yours though so he really probably wasn't prepared enough. 
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Thomas and Anthony (10), Maria (8), Charles (6), Cecilia (5), James (3), and Joseph (1)
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JSchaaf
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What is the best way to approach doing Sacrement Prep at home? Should I contact the DRE of our parish first, or the priest, or someone at the archdiocese? Anyone in the San Antonio archdiocese do Sacrament Prep at home?
Jennifer
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ALmom
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We have done all religious prep at home until this year.
Our approach has been - prepare our child and then approach father. I usually have some sort of documentation to show him though none of the priests ever really asked to see it. Some will ask what we use to teach the faith and I have a typed list which includes whatever materials the bishop has requested the diocese use. We do attend catechist meetings in the diocese where the bishop presented his requests and therefore know which books the diocese is using and at least go through them to make sure we have covered all that the bishop has in mind (usually it is a quick few days to review the text they use though I don't always hand the dc the student text (the pictures in the student text often show dc doing things that are not correct by the rubrics - like kids gathered round the altar).
My understanding is this - the pastor is responsible for determining readiness for the Sacraments. I generally expect him to at least talk to our children to fulfill his obligation here. Some priests have interviewed our dc, some have simply known us so well that they were confident that the dc were ready. Generally, we are then sent to the DRE - but since Father has already said our dc are ready, there generally isn't any problem. This is where they generally like the paperwork. The DRE feels better as she can check off all the boxes for your child too and doesn't feel left out of the loop. So, for instance, if the parish generally does a First Communion retreat - we have some short identification that we have done something along those lines - might be going to a special shrine, spending time in front of the Blessed Sacrament and having a priest talk about the vestments and vessels used at Mass (or we use a Mass kit ourselves to show this).
This year in our new parish, the pastor asked us to participate in the Confirmation Prep. I went with dd to all the sessions (and arranged a seperate Confirmation Retreat through the DRE as I was uneasy with the one the parish was sponsoring - all with the OK of the DRE). The classes were OK - only once per month, the DRE doing her very best in a bad situation - but an awful lot of time was wasted with silliness, lots of snacking, etc. My dd actually nicknamed the class - the community picnic. However, as a first year in the parish, we felt that it was more important to be cooperative with Father and understand his dilemma of being responsible for ascertaining readiness of over 75 dc and stretched very thin between overseeing a school, a large parish, etc. We attended the monthly sessions and went through the various things - every once in a while discussing language that was a bit loose - things that seemed to imply community was higher than prayer in preparation for Confirmation but nothing explicitly doctrinely incorrect (just fuzzy and in light of the common emphasis, easy to misinterpret). If things had been doctrinely incorrect or if there was anything that we as parents felt would have been truely harmful to our dd, we simply would not have gone to these classes and had to try another approach.
My understanding is that while the priest is responsible for ascertaining readiness, by canon law, the sacraments cannot be denied simply because a child did not attend CCD or other classes. I do know that when we were with Seton, a family actually fought for their rights under canon law. It is, imho, not the best idea to come in standing on your rights - but you should know them and at least know what your options are. Going in confidently knowing that your child is ready for the sacraments being requested and a simple interview with Father is generally all that is needed.
I do not know anything about RCIA and children. I would find it very troubling that someone would deny your child the sacrament of baptism for many years simply because of his age. Something doesn't sound correct here, especially since we are obligated as parents to have our children baptized as soon as possible. Perhaps there is some misunderstanding here. You may have to approach the pastor, or bishop for clarification. But I would prepare the child myself in the meantime. That is our obligation as parents anyways.
Janet
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mary
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i'm the first homeschooler in my parish and we have a new priest who has never dealt with a homeschooler either, so they were all open to any suggestions i made about the process. i invited father over for dinner in the fall and broached the subject of FC and told him i intended to do the prep at home. he referred me to the DRE. The DRE, honestly, didn't care and although she asked to see our books, was never interested in actually setting up a time to look at them. I'm bringing his FC notebook to the parent meeting tonight because i'm so very pleased with it and i do want the DRE to see how complete our work has been - we set the tone for any other homeschooler in our parish.
i have attended all parent meetings regarding FC (as if i were a parent of a child in the catholic school) and will be an aide at the Jesus Retreat this month. i had father give my son a tour of the church and mass materials one friday after daily mass. we also had father over for tea last month so that he could look at my son's FC notebook for himself.
regarding the choices i had for this, i could have put my son in the hsing FC group at another parish, put him in PRP class, or done the prep myself. I believe the best choice for him and for our family was to do the prep myself (our FC notebook experience has just been wonderful) and for him to have his sacraments at the church we attend with his other 2nd grade friends from our parish. I see us as a catholic (home)school and so it really seemed appropriate for us to do our prep at home.
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guitarnan
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| Posted: April 03 2006 at 7:29am | IP Logged
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We do sacramental prep and regular religious instruction at home. Occasionally my dd "visits" CCD, but only when we are staying after Mass for some reason or when she's going home with another family to play. My pastor is coming to believe that for rural Catholic families, homeschooling is really a preferred way to educate children, and he'd like to see it expand. Right now we have only two homeschooling families in the parish.
If (when, I hope) we move back to Maryland, we will apparently need to meet with the DRE of our parish regarding catechisis at home, which we should be able to continue. For Confirmation prep, we'll need a separate discussion with the DRE to see if my son will need to attend the PSR classes. I checked with our (former and future) parish and their program is pretty flexible; they don't do a mandatory overnight retreat  and I think I'll be able to work things out.
Here's a link to the Archdiocese of Baltimore's official policy on homeschooling and catechesis for homeschoolers:
Archdiocese of Baltimore's letter on homeschooling.
While I appreciate that children of catechetical age should participate in a catechetical formation program prior to Baptism, I can't see that sticking a child into a room full of adults in RCIA is going to help that child learn anything. The discussions will be at an adult level and the child won't be able to fully participate, or (equally undesirable), the class will be conducted at the child's level and the adults will be bored.
I've really enjoyed doing sacramental prep at home. I was a DRE before my children were born, so I've pretty much taught every grade in the typical, weekly format. (My dh taught high school RE for three years and took his class through Confirmation, so I've seen that process in action, too.)
My son did his sacramental prep in two different parishes; for First Reconciliation he participated in home instruction (the PARENTS had to go to the classes and then teach their children), and for First Communion he attended a series of activity-based classes as well as his daily religion classes in Catholic school.
We made a notebook for my daughter at home...it was very nice to prepare in this way. We were all much more relaxed, without a list of dates and deadlines constructed by someone else. Creating notebook pages was perfect for my daughter, who enjoys hands-on learning.
Many pastors and DREs still haven't encountered Catholic homeschooling, and so they aren't always sure how to approach sacramental prep. I like Mary's idea of having Father over for dinner to talk about sacramental prep at home. Sometimes we do end up as homeschooling pioneers!
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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abcmommy
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| Posted: April 03 2006 at 8:28am | IP Logged
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You guys have the best ideas and info for this stuff. THANKYOU!
Thankyou also for saying putting off the sacraments 3 yrs seems wrong bc it felt wrong to me too!
I am also interested to hear that many of you did what you felt was best and right and then approached the Pastor. This gives me the idea of doing exactly what I like NOW and just trying to make it work.
I have one more question... Can my older child only receive the sacraments and join the church at Easter time with the adults or is the timing fluid?
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Elizabeth
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When are you moving? So much of this is parochial. In my current parish, I'm certain that baptism could happen as soon as he expressed a desire. And then, confession and communion can happen as soon as the parent is certain the child is ready, regardless of the season. We've had six-year-olds receive in the fall. At the parish next door, a nine-year-old spent some time in the Level II atrium, with a special emphasis on sacramental prep and then had some private tutoring. He received all three sacraments at the Easter Vigil with the rest of his family. He did have the option of receiving penance and First Communion with the atrium class.
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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5athome
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The baptism thing seemed odd to me -- I just had five children baptized (aged infant to 12 years). My older two (above age of reason) attended 2 or 3 meetings at the church in a class organized for those getting baptized later than usual. Now they are in classes for first communion and have done their first reconciliation.
We are forced to attend the parish classes in our diocese if we want to receive sacraments. In fact, I have seen a diocese statement online that specifically states that homeschoolers must attend parish classes in addition to anything done at home. It is very frustrating as the quality of classes here is dismal at best.
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JSchaaf
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| Posted: April 03 2006 at 10:35am | IP Logged
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Thanks for the great answers to my questions! (ABCmommy-I didn't mean to hijack your thread). My dd will be seven in the fall and so wants to receive Communion then. I think I will go ahead and start preparing her and then meet with the priest in the fall...hopefully once he sees all the hard work she has done he will give us the go ahead.
Thanks
Jennifer
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4Real Forums : Domestic Church
Topic: do you homeschool for catechism or
