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SeaStar
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| Posted: June 09 2010 at 9:38pm | IP Logged
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I love the idea of having a spiritual advisor... but how do you go about getting one?
Especially with kids in tow, how do you find/make time to meet with someone on a regular basis, other then for confession? Or does confession time count as spiritual advisor time?
We have open confession just one hour a week at my church, on Saturdays. Otherwise it has to be by appointment, and then there is the issue again of what to do with the kids.
I have been mulling this over for a couple of years now with no solution coming to mind.... any thoughts?
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
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mom2mpr
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| Posted: June 09 2010 at 10:11pm | IP Logged
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I went through this a few years ago.
I prayed for one. I NEEDED one. 
I went to confession at my parish one Saturday night, then mass and a visiting Capuchin, who was just so wonderful, did both. I remembered his name from when he told us at mass ( a miracle in itself) and I called him at the seminary where he worked and asked him if he could help me. He said, yes. I saw him twice and had confession each time and he did help me. It was tough because I needed child care and was about a 45 minute drive one way.
Then I found a woman's recollection group once a month through a friend. They have child care, mass, confession and spiritual direction, and some talks by a priest and a layperson. It has been wonderful.
I have also heard other mom's just ask for spiritual direction after, or before, confession at their parishes. Most have found the priest more than willing to work with them.
Good luck!!
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Anne, married to dh 16 years!, ds,(97), Little One (02), and dd (02).
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Paula in MN
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I would love to have one, however it is common knowledge in our area that our priest won't do this. Frustrating when the nearest church after your own is 45 minutes away.
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 Paula
A Catholic Harvest
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CrunchyMom
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That is tough, Paula! The priest must be so busy with sick calls and such with such a wide area to cover!
We are blessed to be in a city with many, many churches close by. Still, most of the priests are overworked, and it isn't necessarily easy to find a spiritual director, but it is possible.
When I converted, I was referred to the chancellor of the diocese by my boss since he knew him because he would come to lectures at the organization where my husband (and I at the time) worked.
A few years later, when I felt a tug towards it, I went to him, but then I had a baby and he was so very busy. At another friend's private confirmation, he introduced me to a new priest in the diocese, a convert himself from being a Lutheran minister, and recommended him to me for spiritual direction. After about 9 months, I finally got around to calling him, lol, and I've been meeting with him monthly-ish for about two years.
All that to say, I'm not sure that there is really a "way" to find one except expressing your desire. If your priest is unable to do it, you might ask for a recommendation for how to find one. I was fortunate to have the connection with an orthodox priest who was in a position to know most of the priests in the diocese. I know our pastor offers spiritual direction to some as well.
Also, you might consider finding someone who might help you through correspondence if you live in a more remote area. I have the vague idea that it was not uncommon for some people I've heard of to have a spiritual director who was a great distance away. Though, I do like knowing I can offer confession at those times.
I go on Wednesday evenings, and my husband stays with the boys (though, when the baby was a newborn, I took him with me).
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
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[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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Erin
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Would love one, no one to ask though 
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Erin
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CrunchyMom
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These posts might help those seeking a spiritual director.
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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mom2mpr
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CrunchyMom wrote:
Also, you might consider finding someone who might help you through correspondence if you live in a more remote area. I have the vague idea that it was not uncommon for some people I've heard of to have a spiritual director who was a great distance away. Though, I do like knowing I can offer confession at those times.
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This it true. I have a friend whose spiritual director is a priest in a remote area of Mexico (or it might be Columbia) and they speak on the phone once or twice a year. I imagine those calls are quite long
Pray a lot and keep your eyes open and it will happen....
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Anne, married to dh 16 years!, ds,(97), Little One (02), and dd (02).
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CatholicMommy
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My spiritual director was just recently ordained for the Archdiocese of Saint Paul/Minneapolis. 
While we didn't intend to develop that aspect of our friendship, that is exactly the direction it took and I am EVER so thankful it did.
I really don't know how I would get through life without a good holy person to help me sort through the things of life and sometimes to give me a hard shove in the right direction. 
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JennGM
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I have a spiritual advisor, and it's made a world of difference. I have always tried to do regular confession, but to actually ask particular questions and get outside perspectives has been wonderful.
Opus Dei priests main apostolate is to provide confession and spiritual direction. In our parish a priest comes for "family confession" once a week, and that's when I meet my advisor in confession. It isn't required to be a member or cooperator of Opus Dei to use him as a director. It's wonderful. I'd find out if there are any Opus Dei centers and see if there are times for confessions or evenings of recollection.
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Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to  & ds1  '03 & ds2  '07
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Paula in MN
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CrunchyMom wrote:
| That is tough, Paula! The priest must be so busy with sick calls and such with such a wide area to cover! |
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Oh, I wish that were the case, but it's not.
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Paula
A Catholic Harvest
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Angie Mc
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Yes, our family attends Mile Jesu in Phoenix. When we first arrived in Phoenix 6 years ago, I quickly heard through the grapevine that this community was available to hear confession 24/7...can you imagine? Currently they aren't available 24/7 (but practically speaking they are very available) but the priority they place on being available to hear confession and to provide spiritual direction is clear. There are several priests who are very experienced...gifted...in spiritual direction. I find their care especially important for our teens. Our family drives about 45 minutes ever few months to take advantage of this wonderful opportunity.
Love,
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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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Maggie
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Ours is long distance--we speak via phone. 
My husband and I do our spiritual direction together, and if there is something we need to speak one-on-one with our S.D. about, then we find another room and separate for a while.
But...all this is done when the kiddos are in bed...which is quite convenient. Unfortunately, we can't see him for confession...he will be ordained in October, please God!
What I will say is this: St. Francis De Sales says that finding a great spiritual director is 1:1000. He says that you can find a "good" spiritual director, but that even a "good" spiritual director can unknowingly lead a soul astray, without even intending to do so.
Please keep that in mind. Ask God for guidance.
For me, it is a pre-requisite that the S.D. has been formally trained in Ignatian Spirituality and the Discernment of Spirits. This is formal, religious formation that some orders are devoted to...
The Oblates of the Virgin Mary come to mind as being dedicated to Spiritual Direction and teaching priests Ignatian Spirituality and the Discernment of Spirits.
Just a thought... :)
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Wife to dh (12 years) Mama to dd (10) ds (8), dd (1), ds (nb) and to Philip Mary (5/26/09), Lucy Joy (12/6/09), and Margaret Mary (3/6/10) who entered Heaven before we had a chance to hold them.
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4Real Forums : Domestic Church
Topic: Do you have a spiritual advisor?
