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glinNC
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Does anybody have months when you struggle to go to Confession? I don't mean physically getting there  , but spiritually preparing for receiving the Sacrament?
I try to go monthly, usually First Saturday, but there are times (even with an examination of conscience *worksheet*) that I can't find anything except the same thing (lack of patience with children) to confess. I have mentioned it to the priest, too, in the confessional but have yet to get any guidance, other than his saying "that was a good thing to confess!" 
Now, I don't claim to be perfect, and I know that frequent reception of this Sacrament is vital to attaining holiness, yet I need a new perspective on determining what I should be confessing since I don't break the 10 Commandments and I keep the precepts of the Church. I also keep this weekend's Gospel message in mind to "Love One Another," and that can be the 3 words that bring things to mind, like impatience or realization that I lacked to do something I should have done but didn't ... due to lack of time in a day. 
I hope you ladies can help me over this hump! Like I said, I know I am a sinner and NEED the Sacrament. However, I just feel that I am not getting the most out of it because I am needing guidance. What books do you use, what thought process do you follow, as you prepare for the Sacrament of Reconciliaton?
Thanks!
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JennGM
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This is typical. This would be a good place to try to secure a spiritual director.
I'm trying to think of some books that can help you, because you are now at a different level, where you start focusing on a certain fault (against a virtue, one of the deadly sins, etc.). This would be examining yourself daily on a particular area, say charity towards others. So within those lines, you would find where you fell:
Did I pray for others?
Did I think unkindly of others?
Did I do extra acts of charity for my husband?
" for my children?
Did I lose my temper?
Was I selfish and thought only of myself?
Did I put my duty before my own wants?
Charity towards God -- questions regarding prayer life, etc.
I'm not giving perfect examples, but it's finding a pattern to your faults, and pinpointing the root vice, and applying the opposite virtue. So after finding the failures, the reparation and positive ways of living charity need to be done.
While not exactly on confession, Father Jacques Philippe has little books that really give a lot of bang and help on the spiritual life. Interior Freedom and Time for God would be very helpful for this subject. He's my favorite author right now. His books are little, but jam-packed.
And two classic works by Benedict Baur will really help address your questions. Read Frequent Confession first, and then Confidence in God.
Then
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Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to  & ds1  '03 & ds2  '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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CrunchyMom
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I use a variety of examens available, but one I have used consistently is this Marian Examination of Conscience posted by Helen. It is one thing to examine your heart based on things you have done, but it is another to compare yourself to Mary's heroic virtue, yk?
Helen says there,
Quote:
Fr. Neubert in My Ideal, recommends when making an
examination of conscience, don't just list your faults
and sins and keep your eyes down, but rather, lift
your head up to the examples of Mary and Jesus. See
what they would have done in your place. It brings you
into contact with heaven to make the exam this way. It
refreshes your soul. |
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Gotta run, but hope that helps a little!
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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Teachin'Mine2
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Beautiful posts!
Another suggestion is to refer to the Diary of St. Faustina. She, like so many great Saints, considered herself a horrible sinner and constantly lowered herself. It's through this extreme humility, that God raised her to such great heights.
I wish I had the problem of not having enough to confess. But I also don't get to Confession every month, like I'd like. Last time I had waited way too long. Hopefully I'll do better this time. It's one of the greatest treasures of our Church, and so freely given.
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mom2mpr
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For what it is worth..
I used a bunch of examination of conscience books and got a little overwhelmed. On retreat, at confession/spiritual direction the priest told me to throw all the books away and look to Jesus. What I felt hurt God, in my heart, was what I needed to confess.
He also said, "there are no little sins." I was worried all the silly little things I mentioned were just that. But they aren't if they hurt my relationship with God.
It was an epiphany for me. And he probably presented these 2 things much better than I can 
I also agree, to go to confession monthly, a good spiritual director/priest helps tremendously.
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Anne, married to dh 16 years!, ds,(97), Little One (02), and dd (02).
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SuzanneG
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JennGM wrote:
| And two classic works by Benedict Baur will really help address your questions. Read Frequent Confession first, and then Confidence in God. |
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Frequent Confession helped me A LOT in this regard. It is EXCELLENT!
You could also target your Examen Questions to your Temperament....there are a few books to help this. Let us know if you need a couple suggestions. I've also found several things on-line...(questions) that target certain temperament types. Very helpful.
Also, focusing on your different ROLES.....being obedient to your role as:
1. Wife
2. Mother
3. Homemaker
4. Daughter
5. Friend
Are there ways that you can improve on these roles? Mackfam's questions at the end of this address this beautifully. Take one thing at a time, focus on it, confess your struggles and where you've fallen or not been obedient.
**********************
Incorporating a Nightly Examen of Conscience may also help you "see" more things. The Holy Spirit works wonders in this area!
Nightly Exam-Conscience:
1.The first Point is to give thanks to God our Lord for the benefits received.
2.The second, to ask grace to know our sins and cast them out.
3.The third, to ask account of our soul from the hour that we rose up to the present Examen, hour by hour, or period by period: and first as to thoughts, and then as to words, and then as to acts.
4.The fourth, to ask pardon of God our Lord for the faults.
5.The fifth, to purpose amendment with His grace.
********************
I also like this little booklet: Examination of Conscience for Adults
***************************************
I have a file where I've compiled different "Examen Questions" and notes that I've come across over the past few years. It helps me have them all together, and then I can use them as needed.
Questions
~ Was I obedient to my prayer life today?
~ Did I offer God my joys, my difficulties, and my sorrows?
~ Did I send up a prayer in moments of frustration or temptation?
~ Was I overly obsessive or anxious when I need to surrender and trust His perfect plan?
~ Was I impatient with God's timing, my children's abilities, my husband's limitations?
~ Was I focused on something shallow/trivial/tangential?
~ Was I prayerful and pondered in the quiet and protection of Our Lady's heart...or did I react loudly?
~ Was I patient with accepting the frustrations and disappointments of the day?
~ Do I try to see with the eyes of faith the supernatural goodness, beauty, and lessons God has waiting for me in cleaning the toilet? in feeding the family? in instructing the children? in offering myself in gentle manner to my family?
~ Do I throw a spiritual fit when God asks me to let go of an unhealthy attachment - whether to a person or a material possession?
~ Am I looking around at others and comparing myself to them?
~ Was I too active and noisy today?
~ Did I manage my time well? Did I participate in idle talk and chatter?
~ Did I punctuate the day with periods of silence?
~ Did I strive to make our home like the Holy Family's?
~ Did I eat too much? Snack too much? Think about food too much?
~ Have I sworn or used bad language?
ROLE AS WIFE
Was I respectful and supportive of my husband?
Did I show affection? Did I laugh with him?
Do I take time or carve out special time to be with my husband on a regular basis?
Is my interior spirit one of softness, yielding and approachability with my husband, or do his concerns and suggestions to me get brushed aside as I hurry through my day?
Do I seek his counsel on matters of myself and our family before I take my concerns to other friends?
Do I pray for my husband on a regular basis?
Do my husband and I pray to know God's will in all the areas that affect our family?
There is a temptation to dump all our worries and complaints on him? Do I do this, or do I try to shoulder my share of the load with as little complaint as possible?
Do I question and nag my husband in order to get my way, or do I wait until a quiet time to make a request known?
ROLE AS PARENT:
Did I reinforce husband's leadership in our family?
Was I impatient? Dismissive? Did I stop to really listen?
Did I discipline a child in the heat of anger?
Was I patient with them? Gentle? Joyful and cheerful?
Did I show compassion? Empathy? Tenderness?
Did I play with them? Did I listen to them? Did I pray for them?
Did I create a “Boot Camp” atmosphere?
Did I encourage my children to pray?
CHILD X ~ Did I let or encourage X to talk? Was I grateful for her openess to share with me? Did I allow for her need to have fun? Did I “just hang out” with her?
CHILD Y ~ Did I make suggestions? Did I praise her? Encourage her? Did I learn something about her thoughts? Did I lead with praise and support?
Humility / Pride
Am I trying to be powerful and capable without God?
Did I bring God into my eager plans?
Did I problem-solve without praying first?
Did I ask God for help?
Was I grateful to Him throughout the day?
Did I regard a situation only as to how it affects me?
Was I generous only because it benefitted me or made me look good?
Was I vain or boastful?
Did I feel a need to be in control of a situation instead of letting God's will take place?
Did I scoff at others? Was I sarcastic? Was I Judgmental?
Did I interrupt conversations?
Did I have to have the last word?
Page 331
Did I talk about myself only when really necessary?
Was I grateful for the little things people did for me?
Did I stop myself when thoughts began to revolve around myself?
Did I allow myself to be helped?
***********************
From Smart Martha Newsletter:
Have I spent my last few days just going through the motions of my life, following my schedule, without really looking to where God is working in my life? Do something "Mary" radical in your life. Drive a different route then you usually do or plan a 15 minute playground break in the midst of your busy schedule or do another "Mary" radical of your choosing. Seriously. Try it.
Did I turn my thoughts to God upon waking this morning? Is there a way I can remember to do this? Should I spend a little more time here?
Did I get at least one uninterrupted hour of conversation with my spouse, either on a date or privately at home this week? This is probably the minimum amount needed. Can we do better?
Where is God asking me to be more like Mary in my life? And the easier question, where is God asking me to work on my Martha stuff? Jot down at least one thought in your planner.
From Mary Vitamin:
Did I think and work as a “docile instrument” and as a “thing and property” of the Immaculate in giving totally of my time and energy to her? (#40)
Did I give up the right ever to dispose of myself in anything and for anything. Time and space, wakefulness and repose, joy and sorrows, present and future…Is all Hers only? (#36)
Did I remember that the “Marian character is not an act of devotion made or recited in a determined moment but is a soul found in each part of our body and presiding over our every thought, word and deed?” (SP #39)
Did I think and work for Mary, with Mary and in Mary, by renouncing thoughts and works of a purely natural bent, or carried out according to my “own” way of seeing and doing? (#40)
Did I think and work today in light of:
What would the Immaculate think? What would the Immaculate do in this precise moment and situation? (#40)
The Virtues of Our Lady
Profound humility
Living faith
Burning charity
Universal mortification
Heroic patience
Angelic sweetness
Divine wisdom
Continuous prayer
Blind obedience
Divine purity
Seraphic poverty
Perfect joy
Resplendent modesty
Impeccable honesty
Radiant tranquility
Invincible hope
Tender piety
Did I wake lazily?
Did I spend my time in useless chatter in place of prayer?
Did I spend my time reading newspapers or watching TV instead of meditation and remaining recollected?
Did I go here and there without necessity?
Did I lose hours of time instead of involving myself in apostolic activity? (#45)
Did I approach my day as a “sacrificial offering” in intimate union with the Immaculate?
Did I use my spare time to further my study of the Madonna so that the mystery of Mary Immaculate could be incorporated into my interior life and in my apostolate?
Am I faithful in attendance at our periodic MIM formation meetings?
Is my mortification and penance generous?
Have I guarded my senses, mortified my will and my natural instincts in order to be transfigured into the Immaculate?
Have I mortified my pride and ambition and desire to comfort myself in order that I might practice humility, poverty, patience and dedication to others?
Have I practiced the penance of fasting and abstinence, of silence and obscurity, of prayer vigils?
Have I renounced vanities, entertainments, trips, worldly spectacles, superfluous vacations, after the example of the Immaculate?
Have I realized in myself “the being” of the Immaculate that is all grace and the “work” of the Mediatrix that is all salvation for others?
Have I offered sacrifices without reserve to be transfigured into the Mediatrix who saves souls?
Have I worked at the apostolate with fervent and untiring commitment giving all my energy and capacity for work to Her?
So long as there would be a soul to save, one consecrated by the Marian Vow should not allow himself peace or pause for repose: We rest in Paradise! As St. Maximilian was accustomed to reply to whoever exhorted him to reduce his incessant, apostolic work.
Is this my attitude?
Am I untiring in my approach to prayer and constant good example, vigils and fasts?
Am I involved in an apostolate of word and of organized action either on one’s own initiative, or in an M.I.M Cenacle?
Have I been concerned, daily, about the apostolate of the environment – family, school, factory offices?
Have I been systematic in my efforts to find all methods and ways of introducing the Immaculate and radiating Her by word and works, by dedication and self sacrifice?
Have I distributed the Miraculous Medal and Marian publications?
Have I turned conversations into occasions for efficient and enlightened Marian catechesis?
Have I organized prayer meetings, retreats, pilgrimages to Marian or other sanctuaries?
Do I have the means for the direct apostolate of the mass-media?
From a "Preparing for Lent" thread on 4Real. LENTEN EXAMEN
Mackfam wrote:
In closely following the rhythm of Holy Mother Church we are drawn into her mysteries and with quiet there is time for contemplation and meditation - even by the littlest. I have seen it. So, I see my role during Lent as one who guards quiet and carves out spaces so that there is opportunity for pondering. In order to set this tone, I must first be disposed to quiet myself.
Just thinking out loud...
**Identify areas I am leaking grace...
~ Am I attentive faithfully to the one thing needful? If my prayer life unravels everything else does too...in a hurry! Eyes on Him!
~ Am I overly worried or anxious when I need to surrender and Trust His perfect plan?
~ Am I impatient with God's timing, my children's abilities, my husband's limitations? Back to Trust.
~ Am I focused on something shallow/trivial/tangential?
~ Do I prayerfully consider and ponder in the quiet and protection of Our Lady's heart...or do I react loudly?
~ Have I identified a vice that is stubborn and embedded? Confession!
~ Am I looking around at others...focus on my own weaknesses and on other's strengths and keep interior focus on Our Lord.
**Identify sources of noise...
~ Too much activity?
~ Too little routine and rhythm in the day?
~ Are my expectations way too high?
~ Have I punctuated the day with periods of silence - visually and otherwise?
~ Is there beauty in my home - our surroundings?
**Carve out spaces and consider the natural...
~ Consider the home as sacred space - where may I set out holy reminders to assist our season of prayer and penitence?
~ Consider the placement of holy reminders - do they invite one to consider them? or get lost in a sea of other visual noise?
~ What steps can I take in my home to take us more deeply into the desert for 40 days?
**The rhythm of Lent...
~ What is the family plan? family focus? for prayer, fasting and almsgiving?
~ Consider the family meals...how can I provide nutrition and filling meals while trimming them of excess and decadence?
~ Will we add any new prayers to the family evening prayers for Lent?
~ Help children consider their sacrifices...introduce the idea of offering obedience as a gift.
~ Provide a calendar or an image of some kind so the children can visualize how long the journey into the desert with Our Lord will be.
In my heart, this is how I am preparing to enter this holy season with my family, this is what I'm turning over in prayer.
Where is my heart?
**Am I aware of the supernatural veiled in the ordinary parts of my day?
**Do I try to see with the eyes of faith the supernatural goodness, beauty, and lessons God has waiting for me in cleaning the toilet? in feeding the family? in instructing the children? in offering myself in gentle manner to my family?
**Do I seek His will in all things?
**Do I throw a spiritual fit when God asks me to let go of an unhealthy attachment - whether to a person or a material possession?
**Do I make sincere and realistic efforts to bring the Little Children to Him?
**Am I trying to unite our domestic church to the Universal Church through prayer and other seasonal celebrations?
My heart in my vocation
**Is my interior spirit one of softness, yielding and approachability with my husband, or do his concerns and suggestions to me get brushed aside as I hurry through my day?
**Do I take time or carve out special time to be with my husband on a regular basis?
**Do I seek his counsel on matters of myself and our family before I take my concerns to other friends?
**Do I pray for my husband on a regular basis?
**Do my husband and I pray to know God's will in all the areas that affect our family?
**There is a temptation to dump all our worries and complaints on our best friend - our husband. Do I do this, or do I try to shoulder my share of the load with as little complaint as possible?
**Do I question and nag my husband in order to get my way, or do I wait until a quiet time to make a request known?
**Am I clinging so tightly to the idea of my children that I am fearful?
**Is my attitude toward my children one of possession or beautiful gift to be cherished?
**Do I forget to enjoy the gift of time with my children when I am too busy or wrapped up in the daily duty?
**Do I pray daily for my children?
**Do I respect the individual needs of each child as a child of God?
**Am I suffocating a child's spirit out of protection?
My heart in outside apostolates, friends, clubs, organizations
**Am I maintaining the daily duties in my home before I give my time and myself to these worthy apostolates?
**Do I involve myself, but only to the degree that I can still maintain my domestic church?
My heart in my home
**Is my home ordered in a way that is pleasing to my husband and children?
**Is my home ordered in a way that it assists in the running of the home?
**Am I clinging to too much stuff in our home?
**Is the stuff being used by our family, or is it useful in our domestic church? Think of the manna God sent from heaven. The Israelites were allowed to keep only what they could use for the day - their daily bread. Am I using what God has sent for the day or season of life and then passing along the extra to other families? Am I a good steward of the material gifts God enables our family to have?
**Do the material things in my home give glory to God in their simplicity and beauty? Do they reveal the splendor in the ordinary?
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
This was so helpful for me to think out loud like this, and I can see several areas here that I really need to work on during Lent to order my affections and provide the interior quiet so that I can contemplate and lift my heart to Him at any time!! This whole thread has been so helpful for me! |
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Suzanne in ID
Wife to Pete
Mom of 7 (Girls - 14, 12, 11, 9, 7 and Boys - 4, 1)
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mom2mpr
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Wow, Suzanne. Thank you for posting. That works for me so much better than all those books
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Anne, married to dh 16 years!, ds,(97), Little One (02), and dd (02).
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guitarnan
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This is a great thread!!!!
Side question:
We have the happy problem of many penitents in our parish - so many that even when we have two priests hearing confessions, they are in a big, big hurry so they can make time for everyone. (I know I should not complain about this. I smile happily when I arrive at church and there's a big line...)
How do you make a good confession when Father has given you a time limit (of sorts)?
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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JennGM
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SuzanneG wrote:
| I have a file where I've compiled different "Examen Questions" and notes that I've come across over the past few years. It helps me have them all together, and then I can use them as needed. |
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Did you post the whole file? Or do you have more?  This is great, Suzanne, thanks! I should just wait for you to answer these kind of questions.
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Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to & ds1 '03 & ds2 '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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JennGM
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guitarnan wrote:
This is a great thread!!!!
Side question:
We have the happy problem of many penitents in our parish - so many that even when we have two priests hearing confessions, they are in a big, big hurry so they can make time for everyone. (I know I should not complain about this. I smile happily when I arrive at church and there's a big line...)
How do you make a good confession when Father has given you a time limit (of sorts)? |
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Nancy, our parish has many, many confessions, and lots of confession times, but never enough priests or time for all of them (we are the largest parish in the state of Virginia). It is an area where I need to watch my impatience at the long lines.
If you prepare for your confession ahead of time, stating your sins should never take too long.
If you need to discuss a point, then our priests say to make an appointment.
And that's what a spiritual director's role would be -- making an appointment, discussing issues and needs related to your vocation, discussing spiritual reading and prayers, etc.
We have a priest that comes once a week to hear confessions and give spiritual direction. The lines are slow and long (so it makes it doubly  ) but so worth it.
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Wife to & ds1 '03 & ds2 '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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SuzanneG
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SuzanneG wrote:
| You could also target your Examen Questions to your Temperament....there are a few books to help this. Let us know if you need a couple suggestions. I've also found several things on-line...(questions) that target certain temperament types. Very helpful. |
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I found part of this on-line a few years ago...I can't cite where, though...whoops! And, then found a few other sources and cut & pasted. Even though it's geared toward husb/father role....a phlegmatic-mom would be similar. But, it gives a good idea of how to target those things about your temperament that many phlegmatics struggle with. Also, there are lots of "general things." DELETE the general or specific things that you don't struggle with and focus on the ones that are repeated all. the. time.
Examination of Conscience – Phlegmatic~Husband/Dad
Phlegmatic
Did I minimize problems instead of solving them?
Was I faithful to my prayer life? Did I think about what my prayer life should be?
Did I examine my conscience on a regular basis?
Did I use my time wisely? Was I faithful to my duties?
Did I accept the responsibilities and gifts given by God?
Did I watch too much TV or radio to the detriment of family and work life?
Did I practice the spirit of service toward my family?
When corrected, do I try to improve so that I do not make the same mistakes again?
Did I lack order?
Was I lazy or idle?
Am I willing to take or seek advice or do I ignore it through pride?
What sacrifices did I make for Jesus? For my family?
What works of service did I do?
Did I start a project, but not complete?
Did I procrastinate with projects or needed-conversations?
Role as Father
Are my expectations of my children too low?
Did I provide opportunities for my children to succeed? To have fun? To talk?
Was I positive and involved in my kids daily lives?
Did I actively carve out time for each of my children ?
Did I initiate conversations and activities to develop intimacy with my children? Or was I distant, uninvolved, and uninterested?
Am I teaching my children about the Faith? Did I discuss something with them this week?
Do they “see” my faith? See me pray?
Is my role as spiritual leader of the family active enough? Could I be doing more?
Did I challenge myself and problem solve an aspect of fatherhood?
Am I tending to my duties as “principal” of our home school?
Role as Husband
Did I actively carve out time for my wife? Fun? Business?
Are my expectations of my marriage high? Do my actions reflect this?
Did I actively communicate with my spouse?
Did I pray for my spouse?
Did I take charge when needed? (chores, discipline, explanations)
Did I let my spouse handle difficult situations when I could've stepped in?
Did I provide opportunities for my wife to talk? Have fun?
Did I initiate conversations and activities to develop intimacy with my spouse? Or was I distant, uninvolved, and uninterested?
Did I avoid important discussion with my spouse?
Did I initiate conversations?
Did I actively listen? Ask questions? Did I communicate when asked? (showing interest)
Did I challenge myself as a husband?
Did I consider our family planning?
Love of God
1.Have I made an effort to arouse strong desires of the love of God in my heart?
2.Have I repeated a direct act of love of God in the morning, at definitely proposed times
during the day, in moments of suffering and misery, at night before retiring?
3.Have I labored to acquire the habit of frequently renewing my intention of doing all things
for the love of God?
4.Have I given any time to the thought of God's goodness, in creating me out of nothing, in
redeeming me with His Blood, in raising me to the supernatural state, and surrounding me with
means to advance in virtue?
5.Have I trained myself to see God's hand and God's love in the natural blessings I enjoy— blessings of family, friends, education, surroundings, innocent enjoyments, etc., and then to thank Him by a return of love?
6.Have I frequently turned my mind to the greatest proof of God's love—His death on the Cross—that I might be inspired to stronger love?
7.Have I received Holy Communion frequently, realizing that the best proof of love is union with the one beloved?
8.Have I made special acts of love of God at the time of Mass and Communion, realizing that these bring me closest to God?
9.After a venial sin, have I made an act of love of God and determined to become perfect in my habit of love?
10.Have I subjected all my affections to the love of God, trying to make them perfectly conformed to His will so that I can say I love all things and persons in and with God?
11.Have I readily conformed my will to God's will, not only by keeping His commandments,
but also by consenting to His will when He has permitted some misfortune to befall me?
12.Have I tried to know God better that I might love Him more, by reading, listening to sermons, studying?
13.Have I realized that the love of God is not necessarily accompanied by emotional feelings
and warm sentiments, and that it is more meritorious if, without these things, I continue the practices of love?
I. Mortal Sins
1.Have I neglected to fulfill the precept of going to confession at least once a year?
2.Have I failed to observe the law, which commands me to receive Holy Communion during
the Paschal season?
3.Have I missed Mass on a Sunday or a holy day without a sufficient reason?
4.Have I, as a mother or father or guardian, caused or permitted my children who are above the age of reason, to miss Mass on Sundays or holydays of obligation?
5.Have I induced others to miss Mass on Sundays, or approved of their so doing?
6.Have I without reason come late to Mass, missing the Offertory, or have I left before the
Communion of the Mass?
7.Have I tried to do serious bodily injury to any person consecrated to God?
8.Have I engaged in servile work, such as gardening, building, repairing, sewing, laundering, etc., for more than two hours on the Lord's Day, when there was no urgent reason for so doing?
9.Have I made others work on Sunday when it was not necessary?
10.Have I broken a serious vow made to God, by which I had bound myself under pain of mortal sin?
11.Have I committed a sacrilege by receiving the Sacrament of Communion, Confirmation, or
Matrimony while in the state of mortal sin?
12.Have I tried to lead a person bound to God by the vow of chastity into sin against his vow?
13.Have I stolen something valuable from the House of God, whether an article used in divine
services or money given to the Church?
14.Have I deliberately mocked or made fun of the Sacraments or the Mass or any of the
liturgical functions?
II. Venial Sins
1.Have I been unconcerned and indifferent about acquiring a strong and faithful love of God?
2.Have I performed my external duties to God, such as hearing Mass, saying my prayers,
receiving the Sacraments, in a distracted, impersonal, halfhearted manner?
3.Have I seldom, if ever, made a real act of love of God, except such as were implicit in the fulfillment of other duties?
4.Have I been disrespectful to God's very presence in church, by profane and useless talking and worldly actions?
5.Have I failed to think of the passion and death of the Son of God in my own sufferings, thus permitting myself to grumble and complain instead of making an act of love and submission?
6.Have I been unfaithful to little promises made to God?
7.Have I never shown my love of God by means of gratitude for the many favors He has given me?
8.Have I given in to worldly desires, which I knew in the beginning to be inconsistent with the love of God?
9.Have I been so fond of some venial sin like petty gossip, or vanity, or exaggerating, that I have made no effort to overcome it?
10.Have I never made the good intention of doing everything for love of God?
11.Have I been disrespectful towards, or concerning those, whom God has placed over me and
who represent God?
III. Helps And Counsels
14.Have I made an effort to arouse strong desires of the love of God in my heart?
15.Have I repeated a direct act of love of God in the morning, at definitely proposed times
during the day, in moments of suffering and misery, at night before retiring?
16.Have I labored to acquire the habit of frequently renewing my intention of doing all things
for the love of God?
17.Have I given any time to the thought of God's goodness, in creating me out of nothing, in
redeeming me with His Blood, in raising me to the supernatural state, and surrounding me with
means to advance in virtue?
18.Have I trained myself to see God's hand and God's love in the natural blessings I enjoy— blessings of family, friends, education, surroundings, innocent enjoyments, etc., and then to thank Him by a return of love?
19.Have I frequently turned my mind to the greatest proof of God's love—His death on the Cross—that I might be inspired to stronger love?
20.Have I received Holy Communion frequently, realizing that the best proof of love is union with the one beloved?
21.Have I made special acts of love of God at the time of Mass and Communion, realizing that these bring me closest to God?
22.After a venial sin, have I made an act of love of God and determined to become perfect in my habit of love?
23.Have I subjected all my affections to the love of God, trying to make them perfectly conformed to His will so that I can say I love all things and persons in and with God?
24.Have I readily conformed my will to God's will, not only by keeping His commandments,
but also by consenting to His will when He has permitted some misfortune to befall me?
25.Have I tried to know God better that I might love Him more, by reading, listening to sermons, studying?
26.Have I realized that the love of God is not necessarily accompanied by emotional feelings
and warm sentiments, and that it is more meritorious if, without these things, I continue the practices of love?
CHILDREN - ROLE AS FATHER:
Have I neglected their material needs?
Have I failed to care for their early baptism?
Have I failed to care for their proper religious education?
Have I allowed them to neglect their religious duties?
Have I allowed them to date/go steady without the prospect of marriage within the near future?
Have I failed to supervise the company they keep?
Have I failed to discipline them when they need it?
Have I disciplined in anger?
Have I given them a bad example?
Have I scandalized them by arguing with my spouse in front of my children?
Have I scandalized them by cursing or swearing in front of them?
Have I guarded modesty in the home?
Have I permitted them to wear immodest clothing?†
Have I denied their freedom to marry or follow a religious vocation?
Did I pray for their future vocation?
__________________
Suzanne in ID
Wife to Pete
Mom of 7 (Girls - 14, 12, 11, 9, 7 and Boys - 4, 1)
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Mackfam
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Non Nobis
Joined: April 24 2006
Location: Alabama
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Adding a few more things that have been very helpful to me. They're talks (some sermons, some retreat talks) by Father Ripperger. Suzanne actually introduced me to the site some time ago and it is such a help and a treasure that I have to link a few things!
Sensus Traditionis
** The Sacrament of Penance - scroll down to the Sin and the Holy Eucharist Retreat section
** Impediments to Holiness retreat - the entire retreat
** How to Make a Good Confession - scroll down to Homilies given by Fr. Ripperger in Kansas City
There's SO MUCH MORE on this site on virtues and examining yourself/knowing yourself...but I linked the few that were specifically pertaining to the Sacrament of Confession. I haven't listened to everything, but I enjoy these so much because I can listen in the evenings when it's quiet here. And, they're so perfect for listening with your dh and discussing together.
__________________
Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19 , ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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Mackfam
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Non Nobis
Joined: April 24 2006
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Also, check out both the long and short examination of conscience offered in pdf format in Fr. Ripperger's texts online.
Edited to add...at the very bottom of the same page linked above, under Conferences:
Quote:
Day of Recollection given 12/4/99 at Lincoln
Topics include detachment, self-knowledge and charity. |
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It's a long document, but the section on Self Knowledge begins on p. 14.
__________________
Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19, ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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glinNC
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WOW! Thank you everybody for sharing! There are many things to ponder for next confession!
I see some things in the list of the phlegmatic (I had to look that word up! ) father/husband that would certainly be areas of improvement for me, too, but would some necessarily be sins? E.g.: not praying for their future vocation? That is certainly a great thing to do, but if one doesn't know about it (ignorance on a topic doesn't count as a sin) or doesn't remember or doesn't get into the habit, I wouldn't think it'd be a sin ... do you?
Thanks for sharing ... I knew this forum would be a wealth of encouragement and assistance!
God bless!
glin
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CrunchyMom
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glinNC wrote:
WOW! Thank you everybody for sharing! There are many things to ponder for next confession!
I see some things in the list of the phlegmatic (I had to look that word up! ) father/husband that would certainly be areas of improvement for me, too, but would some necessarily be sins? E.g.: not praying for their future vocation? That is certainly a great thing to do, but if one doesn't know about it (ignorance on a topic doesn't count as a sin) or doesn't remember or doesn't get into the habit, I wouldn't think it'd be a sin ... do you?
Thanks for sharing ... I knew this forum would be a wealth of encouragement and assistance!
God bless!
glin |
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Did you feel called to pray for vocations and then didn't do it? Then it would be something to confess. This is also where spritual direction is a great help in attaining the self-knowledge needed to be sensitive to one's failings without falling into scrupulosity.
My favorite spiritual book is Introduction to the Devout Life, and at the beginning, he gives a series of examinations of different aspects of one's life. I try to do it once a year around the same time.
__________________
Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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4Real Forums : Domestic Church
Topic: Going to Confession
