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amiefriedl
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| Posted: Feb 21 2006 at 1:16pm | IP Logged
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Do you have a spiritual director? Why?
What does a spiritual director do specifically?
Is a SD always a priest?
How do you get in touch w/your SD? Phone? Email? Drive 30 minutes downtown with all your kids in the van to speak with him?
Are there limitations to/involved with spiritual directors? Wouldn't it be odd for a SD (assuming it is a priest) to know you very well and to interact with him on other tasks? Iow, is your SD annonymous to you in all other areas or do you interact with you SD in regular public life?
I'm wondering if I need a SD? When do you actually NEED a SD? Can you get along very well spiritually w/o one?
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In Christ the King through Mary our Mother,
Amie
Blessed with an awesome hubby and Mom of ds10, dd7, dd3 and dd 10months.
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Martha
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No, I don't but I could sure use one and have abslutely no idea how it works!
St. Fransis de Sales Intro to the Devout Life says your SD should be someone of honest discernment with which you NEVER give a false image to or withhold matters of the heart from as a good SD must see you for who you truely are in order to help you grow spiritually.  I don't think I know ANYONE I could feel quite that comfortable with!
I once had a friend who said her spiritual director was a nun at a convent in a different country with whom she had never met, but they exchanged letters on a regular basis. It started with an adopt a nun type thing and just naturally evolved.
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Martha
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Yes, they're all ours!
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Rachel May
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| Posted: Feb 21 2006 at 2:37pm | IP Logged
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amiefriedl wrote:
Wouldn't it be odd for a SD (assuming it is a priest) to know you very well and to interact with him on other tasks? |
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I used to have this same issue with confessors. I finally had to make the plunge and stop slinking off to confess. I started confessing face to face regularly to our one parish priest. It was great and never awkward outside the confessional (he often came over to our house). I used that as my "spiritual direction" and at one time I went a bit overboard (after reading Sr. Faustina's biography) and he told me to knock it off. 
He once asked me the same question you ask, "What is a spiritual director?", but as far as I was concerned, he was mine. I guess that's my poor man's solution.
On another thread about headship, someone mentioned that your SD does not trump your husband, if that makes sense.
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Rachel
Thomas and Anthony (10), Maria (8), Charles (6), Cecilia (5), James (3), and Joseph (1)
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Rachel May
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| Posted: Feb 21 2006 at 2:45pm | IP Logged
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Here is the complete quote that had the idea I was thinking of:
teachingmom wrote:
I have a quick thought to add to the discussion. Tonight I attended the final night of a 3 part discussion series by my pastor on Holly Pierlot's __A Mother's Rule of Life__. One thing my pastor touched on again and again in all three of the sessions is that our husband should act as a spiritual director for us. By that he meant that God has put husbands in a headship role that gives them the grace to help us discern things, just as a spiritual director does.
I may not explain this as clearly as Father did, but I'll try. He had a problem with how Holly's relationship with her spiritual director worked. From the book, it seems that she was taking orders from her spiritual director without consulting her husband. She seemed to get direction and then feel under obedience (which is not a part of spiritual direction, by the way) to comply with it, regardless of what her husband thought of the matter. It sounded like she took her director's words to be God's direct words, and then reported them to her husband. He seemed to be left with just accepting things.
My pastor pointed out that a spiritual director should act as a sounding board and might give ideas to us, but we should always pray and discern for ourselves before acting on them. If I am married, then my husband should act as spiritual director to me and help with the discernment process, even if I have a priest as my spiritual director.
I have a priest (not the pastor I'm referring to here) whom I see once a month for spiritual direction. But I can consult my husband and get "spiritual direction" from my husband through the grace of the sacrament all month long. Does that make sense?
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Here is the link but overall that thread was about a different subject.
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Rachel
Thomas and Anthony (10), Maria (8), Charles (6), Cecilia (5), James (3), and Joseph (1)
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theNetSmith
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amiefriedl wrote:
| Do you have a spiritual director? Why? |
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i have had several spiritual directors, but have been meeting with the current one for about a year now. he meets several needs, but as the name suggests, his primary function is to guide me on my earthly spiritual journey -- and his input is most definitely tailored to my individual spiritual needs.
amiefriedl wrote:
| What does a spiritual director do specifically? |
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mine will typically listen first to understand what has been going on in my life since we last met and then comment or offer anecdotal experiences. we always end with confession.
altho my current director is a Franciscan friar, i have met with deacons and i know 3 laypersons (2 male, 1 female) who are studying to become spiritual directors.
amiefriedl wrote:
| Are there limitations to/involved with spiritual directors? Wouldn't it be odd for a SD (assuming it is a priest) to know you very well and to interact with him on other tasks? Iow, is your SD annonymous to you in all other areas or do you interact with you SD in regular public life? |
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i think having a spiritual director is similar to confession, with these 2 caveats: (a) you still receive the benefit of going whether you choose to talk about everything that's on your mind, and (b) you are not there to be forgiven, but to gain feedback and insight into your spiritual life. as a previous poster said, the more you are willing to share, the better your SD will understand you. that being said, i believe that a good relationship with your spiritual director is founded upon trust, and the bond that forms will naturally spill over into public life. i am always excited to run into my SD outside of our appointed meetings.
amiefriedl wrote:
| I'm wondering if I need a SD? When do you actually NEED a SD? Can you get along very well spiritually w/o one? |
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i am not sure that anyone can answer these questions for you -- only you can know where you are (and how comfortable you are being where you are) in your journey towards holiness. if there were one member on the board who i think could offer advice in answering those questions, it would be Patrick, my co-moderator on the Teens forum. he is the one who led me to my current SD.
-T
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Patrick
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| Posted: Feb 21 2006 at 5:43pm | IP Logged
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Although I no longer regularly go to spiritual direction regularly, I am meeting with our wonderful Franciscan of a few years next week when I go home for spring break. I highly recommend getting a spiritual director because he or she can really help you get things sorted out. You can get along without one, but you'll get along much better with a good one. The biggest problem with getting one is that it can be a challenge to find the right person. A person can't guide you to a place they've never been. A friend of mine that knows more about this sort of thing than me recommends Thomas Dubay's book Seeking Spiritual Direction. I hope this helps some.
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Michaela
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Amie,
Seeking Spritual Direction, is a VERY good book.  It will answer all the questions you've asked and much more. I'm reading it now.
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Michaela
Momma to Nicholas 16, Nathan 13, Olivia 13, Teresa 6, & Anthony 3
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jdostalik
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Amie,
Thank you for starting this thread about SD.  I was going to start one myself but hadn't gotten around to it yet! 
I am reading a daily book of meditations by Catherine Doherty called Grace in Every Season. It is wonderful and I have been reading it daily during my morning prayer time. I thought I would share what was written a few days ago. The title was "How to Find a Spiritual Director."
Catherine writes:
"My answer to the question of how to get a spiritual director is always the same. Pray for one. Pray very earnestly to God before choosing one. It is a very important relationship that you are entering into with Christ in the priest, and you must turn to God to direct you to the right person. He may do this by giving you a certain spiritual attraction to some priest. Perhaps it is through a sermon, a retreat, or a spiritual truth expressed by this priest that went straight to your heart. These can be indications that God is directing you to him.
A priest is not chosen for his personality, his intelligence, his deep knowledge of theology, or for any other such traits. He is chosen because he is the incarnation of Christ in the special moment of spiritual direction. This is a mystery of our faith.
So you pray for a spiritual director, for someone you judge to be competent and interested in you. Then you love, trust, and obey him, for he is Christ for you. His competency is self-evident: the priest is trained for spiritual direction, has the grace of the Sacrament of Holy Orders, and is obviously interested in the salvation and sanctity of souls. So when you find a priest you feel will help you get closer to God, approach him simply, and ask him to be your spiritual director."
Needless to say, I started praying each morning for a SD! There is also a passage entitled "Your Relationship with your Spiritual Director." If anyone is interested, I would be happy to post that.
Also, Patrick and Michaela, thank you for the recommendation on Dubay's book. I one-clicked it on amazon.com!
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God Bless,
Jennifer in TX
wife to Bill, mom to six here on earth and eight in heaven.
Let the Little Ones Come
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Karen E.
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amiefriedl wrote:
| Do you have a spiritual director? Why? |
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I do have one, because he helps me to keep my perspective.
amiefriedl wrote:
How do you get in touch w/your SD? Phone? Email? Drive 30 minutes downtown with all your kids in the van to speak with him? |
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I've done phone and email, but usually skip the kids. I wouldn't be able to have confession if they were there. I always do confession first, then we talk. He's currently a couple of hours away, so obviously I don't always see him monthly, but I have emailed about things. Usually I just wait until I can work an appt. into my life, and I go to confession locally if more than a month goes by.
amiefriedl wrote:
| When do you actually NEED a SD? Can you get along very well spiritually w/o one? |
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I think it's more than possible to get along just fine without one; most people historically have. Confession often functions as spir. dir. for people. Right now, I feel it's an incredible luxury that I have been able to maintain an sd relationship with this very holy priest that I see. I usually don't mention to people that "I have a spiritual director" because I'm afraid of it sounding pretentious. But, it has been a blessing in my life, and the contact sort of fell into my lap. I'm not sure I would have sought spiritual direction if this priest had not been at our parish.
The advice to pray for one is the best advice you could get.
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God bless,
Karen E.
mom to three on earth, and several souls in God's care
Visit my blog, with its shockingly clever title, "Karen Edmisten."
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Michaela
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Amie,
I came across these links this morning about spiritual direction.
Spiritual Direction is written by a Spritual director who often posts on the Catholic Answers forum. He answers the following questions:
What is Spiritual Direction?
What does a Spiritual Director do?
How often do people Interact w their Spiritual Director?
What should I look for in a Spiritual Director?
What is a Spiritual Companion?
Is being a Spiritual Director the same as being a Confessor?
Can my Spiritual Director be my Confessor?
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Michaela
Momma to Nicholas 16, Nathan 13, Olivia 13, Teresa 6, & Anthony 3
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amiefriedl
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Wow, everyone! Thank you sooo much for your help, encouragement, advice and suggestions. I'm looking into all of these ideas (one at a time of course!) and I really appreciate your comments too.
This is a big step for me, and an unknown one, but the timing seems so very right. I seem to be getting "signal graces" all over the place. I'm happy this question has helped out other people too!
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In Christ the King through Mary our Mother,
Amie
Blessed with an awesome hubby and Mom of ds10, dd7, dd3 and dd 10months.
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Topic: Do you have a spiritual director?
