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SusanJ
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| Posted: Nov 17 2009 at 9:05pm | IP Logged
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I would love to hear from any of you who belong to a lay movement, third order, or any other kind of extra-parish Catholic community that requires a serious commitment, vows/promises, and regular activities.
My husband is looking into one and would really like me to join him. I fully support his doing so but feel absolutely no attraction myself to submitting to a particular spirituality, attending regular events, etc. But I have promised to pray about it and explore along with him. He thinks this would be of great benefit to me and I want to honor that as well as support him.
I would be interested to hear stories about how any of you have discerned a step like this, how it fits into your life, etc. Feel free to pm me as well.
Susan
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Mom to Joseph-8, Margaret-6, William-4, Gregory-2, and new little one due 11/1
Life Together
[URL=http://thejohnstonkids.blogspot.com]The Kids' Blog[/UR
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Veronika
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| Posted: Nov 18 2009 at 8:51am | IP Logged
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Hi Susan,
I belonged to a secular Discalced Carmelite order (OCDS)for about six years and absolutely loved it. I'm in a bit of a sad situation in that my husband became ill recently (recovering nicely, I might add, not to worry) and my children required some extra attention during that time as well. This made it hard for me to attend the meetings that are required by the community and I found it necessary to take a leave of absence for a while. I miss my sisters terribly and feel a bit like I'm in exile. When I joined, my twins were only a year old and the other women in the group (no men, so sad) felt that it would be very difficult for me to participate as was expected. There was the matter of Matins and Vespers which must be said privately, and in the Byzantine rite, they're alot longer than for the Romans. We are required to make 1/2 hour of mental prayer daily as well, not a problem if you plan and get up before the children, but still some days it wasn't easy, or wasn't done. Learning to live and think like a Carmelite by studying Sts. Teresa of Avila, John of the Cross, Therese of Lisieux, etc. was also a joy, but took time. It isn't easy, but with God's help it can be done. Being a secular Carmelite gave me the joy of gaining some structure for my prayerlife too, and it provided me with the community I needed to support my spirituality, which was and is and will be Carmelite, no matter whether I'm participating in a secular order or not. Basically, I guess what I'm trying to say is that God gave us all our own spirituality, each unique and different. Some He calls to serve Him in secular orders. some He calls to serve in other ways. To be a member, first you MUST be called. It's not a club, it's a way of life. Pray and ask God what He wills of you and you won't go wrong. I'll be praying for you!...it's what Carmelites do! 
__________________
Veronika
devoted wife and Apostolate of Holy Motherhood Mom of 5 precious children: daughter '94, son '96, son '98, and twin daughters '02...
and one little girl in heaven
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robinhigh
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| Posted: Nov 18 2009 at 10:16am | IP Logged
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Veronika wrote:
Hi Susan,
I belonged to a secular Discalced Carmelite order (OCDS)for about six years and absolutely loved it. I'm in a bit of a sad situation in that my husband became ill recently (recovering nicely, I might add, not to worry) and my children required some extra attention during that time as well. This made it hard for me to attend the meetings that are required by the community and I found it necessary to take a leave of absence for a while. I miss my sisters terribly and feel a bit like I'm in exile. When I joined, my twins were only a year old and the other women in the group (no men, so sad) felt that it would be very difficult for me to participate as was expected. There was the matter of Matins and Vespers which must be said privately, and in the Byzantine rite, they're alot longer than for the Romans. We are required to make 1/2 hour of mental prayer daily as well, not a problem if you plan and get up before the children, but still some days it wasn't easy, or wasn't done. Learning to live and think like a Carmelite by studying Sts. Teresa of Avila, John of the Cross, Therese of Lisieux, etc. was also a joy, but took time. It isn't easy, but with God's help it can be done. Being a secular Carmelite gave me the joy of gaining some structure for my prayerlife too, and it provided me with the community I needed to support my spirituality, which was and is and will be Carmelite, no matter whether I'm participating in a secular order or not. Basically, I guess what I'm trying to say is that God gave us all our own spirituality, each unique and different. Some He calls to serve Him in secular orders. some He calls to serve in other ways. To be a member, first you MUST be called. It's not a club, it's a way of life. Pray and ask God what He wills of you and you won't go wrong. I'll be praying for you!...it's what Carmelites do! |
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Ditto to all of this... I was an OCDS for about 6 years, until my divorce and then I wasn't emotionally able to fulfill my obligations. I had made first and second promise, I believe, and my second promise was up at the exact time that I couldn't go on any longer... God knew what was coming... it is definitely a calling and I desired to be one before I even knew it existed... I am a Carmelite at heart and that vocation is eternal. Pray and discern... perhaps your spiritual vocation is being revealed to you by your husbands desire? There is a long period of discernment in the Secular Carmelites before you are allowed to make that first promise and much longer until you make final promise and/or vows, which binds until death. It is a beautiful thing and a great gift...
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SusanJ
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| Posted: Nov 18 2009 at 12:07pm | IP Logged
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Thanks for those words, ladies. Ironically, Carmelite spirituality is about the only thing I'd say I feel "drawn" to in particular but that isn't what my husband is looking into! But perhaps his journey will open up a different path for me or maybe I will go with him.
We are both very aware that this will be a period of discernment and that we would only answer what we believed to be a legitimate calling.
Any others?
__________________
Mom to Joseph-8, Margaret-6, William-4, Gregory-2, and new little one due 11/1
Life Together
[URL=http://thejohnstonkids.blogspot.com]The Kids' Blog[/UR
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Olivia
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| Posted: Nov 23 2009 at 3:52pm | IP Logged
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I don't know too much about third orders however there is this one I feel drawn to if it became available in my area : Franciscan third order of the Immaculate. I like the way they are consecrated to Mary with a Marian vow following the example of St. Maximilian Kolbe.
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Marcia
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| Posted: Nov 24 2009 at 1:14pm | IP Logged
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My husband and I are members of the Passionists third order. We don't have any local people though so our "community" is each other.
We are most connected to this convent for they accepted our promise. But this convent is dear to us too...and they allow visitors.
We read the Passionist office which includes prayers and the readings from the gospel on the Passion each week. We make the Stations of the Cross on a regular basis all year round and have a different focus on the Passion each day. Of course we add all sorts of other things to our daily prayers that aren't specifically "Passionist". And perhaps we are able to embrace our cross a little more each day as St. Paul of the Cross would have liked.
__________________
Marcia
Mom to six and wife to one
Homeschooling 10th, 7th, 5th, 2nd, PreK and a toddler in tow.
I wonder why
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florasita
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I belong to and am a missionary intercessor with the DJM a lay group with S.O.L.T an order started by a irish priest . Fr. Pinto started the DJM on his own to help people learn thier plan of life and vocations . A priest in India helped him do this himself and he felt a calling to begin this minisrty .He came from India and worked with Mother Teresa for many many yrs it was then she who told him he was to come to North America . He did not want to come here  . He first came to Canada but was denied to work here . To bad for us  as he is now head of S.O.L.T AND THERE ARE djm GROUPS ALL OVER THE WORLD NOW . we only have one group here in Canada , very sad . The program usually runs 9 months per section , Plan of Life , Discernment & Discipleship . However if there is no group near you , one can take lessons via satelite .I did this and it was very good for a homeschooling mother and just helped me go at my own pace . Many priests , nuns etc. take this program to help them in thier vocations to see where the Lord is calling them . I love my work so much DJM is a beautiful gift and blessing . It is a lot of work don't get me wrong , most who start drop out as it has a ton of disipline , following thru with goals etc. Formation is beautiful work though and totally worth it .
The DJM also started missionaries of Mercy I beleive thru Fr. Pinto as well but I am not a member of the MM so I don't quite know the info on that .
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May I rise & rest with words of Gratitude on my Breath
May I have the Heart & Mind of a Child in my Depth
May I forever remember to be a Light
May Peace Love & Hope be My Sight
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4Real Forums : Domestic Church
Topic: lay movements, third orders, etc.
