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Schoolrmacres
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My 5th grade dd wants to be an altar server but I am on the fence about it. There is nothing the church has written in guidelines stating that girls cannot be altar servers? Wasn't altar serving a way to get boys more interested in the priesthood? Are there any resources or words of wisdom you could give me regarding this? I am a convert(96)so I am still learning. My dh does not have a problem with this.
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Darlene, wife to Shawn and mamma to Haleigh Elizabeth, our Gift from God through adoption.
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http://achampionfamily.blogspot.com/
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JennGM
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Darlene,
There are documents linked in this thread: Dealing with Female Altar Servers, along with some good discussion and explanation.
**********MODERATOR'S NOTE*************
Please keep in mind that having female altar servers is permissable by the Vatican. The wording of the document explains that the practice is permitted, but it is not required. This commentary elaborates:
In 1994, the Holy See permitted bishops the option of allowing women and girls to serve as "acolytes" [altar servers], but stated that this practice "is allowed but not required"; therefore it should not be regarded as mandatory. The ruling also emphasized that "the Holy See wishes to recall that it will always be very appropriate to follow the noble tradition of having boys serve at the altar. As is well known, this has also led to a reassuring development of priestly vocations."
For reading of the Vatican permission, see Vatican Communication on Female Altar Servers, Rome, 15 March 1994
Letter Regarding Female Altar Servers 2001, Congregation for Divine Worship and the Discipline of the Sacraments.
PLEASE NOTE: This is a hot button topic, with very strong emotions on both sides; we need to look to what the Vatican allows and follow those directives.
-------Please be charitable and not judging.-------
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Jennifer G. Miller
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Bookswithtea
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If you run a search, I am pretty sure there are some very long threads on this from a few years ago. 
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~Books
mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and  due 9/10
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MrsM
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This is a sad topic for me. I used to think being an altar server was a great way to get boys interested in the priesthood, but since our parish has about a 4:1 ratio of girls to boys acting as altar servers, that message has been (imo) lost. At our parish there are so many altar servers at each Mass that they are a distraction anyway.
I'm not saying it's wrong for girls to be altar servers, but Dh and I have decided that for now none of our children will be altar servers, and that they can serve Our Lord in other ways.
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guitarnan
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My dd begged for two years to serve before I let her. She told me she wanted to so she would really and truly pay attention at Mass...and it has worked in an amazing way.
Our parish has about 50% boys/girls serving, but we have a huge problem with no-shows. I realize that many times things come up or children get sick, but it's nice to see dd step up if she sees she's needed so that Father doesn't have to do everything himself. (He is in cancer treatment and tires more quickly these days.) Under these conditions, I am happy to have dd serve, since she is clearly needed.
Ideally, of course, having boys assist is a very good thing, particularly for helping them discern their vocations, but at our parish (1200 families!) we often can't get anyone to serve. Sometimes adults do it (and we don't even have cassocks for them to wear!). It's conditions like these, perhaps, that prompt bishops to permit girls to assist.
On a practical level, it would be good to find out 1) how often training takes place; 2) how hard it is to find substitutes if a family emergency arises, and what happens if you just can't find someone; and 3) at which Masses your child might be asked to assist. We have found that we attend Mass all together much less frequently - three of us are in music ministry (three different groups) and dd serves - so sometimes it feels like we're those proverbial ships passing in the night. If your daughter won't typically be assigned to "your" Mass, this is something to consider before she commits. (Oh, and Lent, Holy Week, Christmas, etc. are very busy times for altar servers.)
I know this is a sensitive issue, and I sure wish we lived in times when boys in our diocese were available on Sundays to altar serve. The boys and young men who stick with it are wonderful people and I truly hope they hear God's call to the priesthood...I teach a few of them and know they're really committed to their faith.
I wonder, is there a patron saint of altar servers? It would be lovely to ask that saint to intercede for all acolytes, to help them to be reverent and faithful to God's call....
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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stacykay
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guitarnan wrote:
... but at our parish (1200 families!) we often can't get anyone to serve. Sometimes adults do it (and we don't even have cassocks for them to wear!). It's conditions like these, perhaps, that prompt bishops to permit girls to assist.
.... 3) at which Masses your child might be asked to assist. We have found that we attend Mass all together much less frequently - three of us are in music ministry (three different groups) and dd serves - so sometimes it feels like we're those proverbial ships passing in the night. If your daughter won't typically be assigned to "your" Mass, this is something to consider before she commits. (Oh, and Lent, Holy Week, Christmas, etc. are very busy times for altar servers.)
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Nancy, is there a way you could request a Mass for your whole family? Our parish lets families sign up for specific Mass times, so the parents can lector, usher, help as eme, choir member can sing, and boys can altar serve (we have just boys, but the church also has a large k-8 elementary school, so it has a large pool of boys ready and able,) all at the same Mass. I think it also helps to encourage everyone to be there, as it is a whole family commitment. Not meaning to hi-jack the thread, but wanted to mention it, in case the schedulers at your parish are open to the suggestion!
God Bless,
Stacy in MI
p.s. I can think of only two churches in our metro area that have only boy altar servers. And the other is across town from us. (Not that I have visited that many churches  , but from the ones we have gone to over the years.)
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LucyP
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I was speaking to a wise old nun about another issue recently and she said let the church lead you and when there is no prohibition, if you feel no clear check in your conscience (since she explained some issues may cause a problem for individuals eg pride, guilt etc), then you may go forward. I disagreed with her on some of the issues we were discussing but then I thought this a faithful carmelite nun who has given her whole life to Jesus - I should listen to her. As the Church permits this and your dh is not opposed, then unless you have a strong conscientious objection, I would think you could try it at least on a trial basis and see how it fits your family?
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guitarnan
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Stacy, we (and the schedulers) try, but my husband's cantoring duties require that he be at another Mass by default...the music group we're both in does not use a cantor. So, somehow, we end up at different Masses in spite of everyone's best efforts to help us attend together.
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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Stephanie_Q
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I remembered this topic as I was reading yesterday's ZENIT: Female Servers in the Extraordinary Form
(I should clarify that the "extraordinary Form that they are talking about, here, is the Tridentine Mass, but thought this might give some extra food for thought for someone "on the fence" regarding the issue of female altar servers.)
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dd 6.02, dd 8.03, ds 3.05, ds 12.06 at Catholic school.
dd 12.09 at home.
Baby boy due 10.13
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nissag
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Our daughter Caroline loves to serve. She generally serves with her big brother, or with other little girls. We are blessed that both boys and girls are enthusiastic about serving. Brian and I have not noted a decrease in interest in vocations as a result of having girls serving. Our parish has produce two priests, 6 deacons, and 4 more in diaconate formation right now.
We are doubly blessed to have as a dear friend (from high school days), the Director of Vocations from our diocese, too. So my view is skewed, perhaps.
Blessings,
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Elena
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Darlene, I think the Zenit article Stephanie linked to was very informative and perhaps you could use that as a guideline.
I have had four sons and all of them serve. But when they get to be 6 foot teenagers they just are not as interested in serving mass with little girls. So my high school sons dropped serving which I think is a shame, but I am keeping my 8th grader on for as long as I can.
That said my daughter is now 10, but I did not mention serving to her and I will not encourage it. She does sing in the children's choir and I have her help me with other things at church as much as I can.
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Elena
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4Real Forums : Domestic Church
Topic: Altar Serving-Girl
