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aussieannie
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I am planning EARLY this year for Advent and Christmas because as nice as it is to do things hands on in advent we always have things that crop up unexpectedly to lay them low...but more importantly...
I am dearly wishing feedback from ladies about their CHRISTMAS traditions..how does giftgiving look like in your home, how do you make christmas more meaningful, encouraging family members to look to others in this season of giving rather than focusing on 'what will I get for christmas. How do you mix the religious aspect with the traditions that most people who usually celebrate.
Do you have any traditions where you focus on doing something specific for other members in the home OR things you do as a family to help and brighten the lives of other people outside the home?
Do you follow any old Catholic customs that maybe are not so well known in our times?
What does your St Nicholas Day look like? Do you do Santa, why or why not? Do you have a Christ Child and what traditon do you have with that? What is the biggest feature the manger/stable setting or tree and why?
How can we as a Catholic family really draw the focus on Christ's love for us and how we should love others in return?
That's alot I know and there might be some ladies that just want to talk about one of those points because they have something lovely to share, that's great, I don't expect anyone to answer all necessarily..just the things that mean something very special to them.
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JodieLyn
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I'm a convert and dh grew up Catholic but we grew up with very simliar (mainstream society) traditions around Christmas.
So.. when we had kids, I started looking at what we both liked best that we grew up with and things that are traditionally Catholic.. and attempted to emmesh them together into something that would reflect the Advent and Christmas season in the church but not draw a line between us and our extended families.
The easiest thing to do was to bring in more for Advent. Other than an occational Advent calender (countdown Dec calender) I don't think either of us had much.
And since my kids were very little at the time.. I started Advent chains.. paper chains in pink and purple.. one link for each day of Advent.. And having those hanging up in my living room (and now with 8 kids even more so) it changes the whole color perception of the main room in the house and you really feel a difference in the house. I really like those chains..
And we take down the last link on Christmas Eve when we decorate for Christmas.
Now that took a while to get to.. We both grew up with putting up the tree right after Thanksgiving. And we pushed it back by a week or two.. tried out putting it up the third week of Advent (the pink week).. And finally dh agreed to try out putting it up on Christmas Eve.
WOW
You wouldn't think it would make such a difference but it really did. I think maybe having so many littles makes a difference but I would struggle at keeping things looking nice after they were put up and would already be getting a bit tired of all the extra stuff out by Christmas. The kids weren't purposely destructive.. they were just little and would pull on the stuff on the lower part of the tree or make off with the wise men from the navity.. things like that.. just busy curious kids.
We took the whole day of Christmas Eve (dh takes the day off work if needed) and decorated and had a simple dinner.. special but simple.. a soup and snacky fun stuff that could be made ahead. And then not long after we'd get ready for Midnight Mass and we'd come home and put the kids to bed (mine will fall asleep anywhere so Midnight Mass works beautifully for us) and then we'd put out the presents under the tree and fill the stockings and everyone would get up Christmas morning to a brilliant house.. all the decorations and lights and gifts all out and still "new" and nice.. and then the rest of the weeks that the tree is out, are more relaxed because we don't need to keep the tree nice for Christmas.
And we keep the tree up until Epiphany or thereabouts.. and it's the perfect length of time for me.. by the time that two weeks is up I'm pretty well done with having the tree in the way  Unlike so many who can't wait for Christmas so that they can take that tree down.
We do St. Nicholas Day. It's fairly small a few sweets and maybe a small toy or something (one year it was motorized toothbrushes, one year it was Christmas bell necklaces) and they usually get a movie collectively as well. Boots are set out for St. Nicholas Day and St. Nicholas comes because we're celebrating his Day.
St. Nicholas, also known as Santa Claus, comes on Christmas as well to celebrate Christ's birth and he fills stockings on that day.
This is one of those complications of not being raised Catholic.. hard to give up stockings on Christmas.. even if you add in St. Nicholas traditions.. so we added without taking away.. figuring our kids will then have the option of only doing one or the other (or both) and still keeping that connection.
So... we do Advent chains, and we've added the readings from the Jesse Tree to the chains of the older kids.
We have a birthday early in December. And we have Santa Lucia and St. Nicholas days, and there's the Immaculate Conception of the Vigin Mary in there.
I also have a nephew (lives locally) with a birthday in mid-December.
Our parish (and the fire dept. and the scouts and the lacrosse team etc etc) participate in the Christmas Parade.. good thing we have so many kids we can let each group have one or two and support them all  
Our parish also does a Christmas pageant.. fairly simple, doesn't take too long to put on and they practise during CCD so mostly it's just the day of.. that has much to do.
OH, we do cut a fresh tree on Thanksgiving weekend but keep it in water out in the cold until the day before Christmas Eve (we've taken to bringing it in and setting it up the evening before so that it's all thawed and gotten it's several refills of water before we start decorating).. but that lets us keep up the tradition of the Christmas Tree Hunt (often with dh's family) on the weekend after Thanksgiving (4th thursday of Nov.) but still set our own tradition of when to put it up.
So pretty much our Advent stays very busy.. but the color change to my living room really helps set a tone. And we do an Advent wreath and light the candles for dinner. I found that I don't have space for an actual wreath.. but that I can use large bowled wine glasses half filled with salt and with votive candles.. tie the stem with a ribbons and a sprig of greenery and I can put them in a circle on the table for our wreath but be able to set them up on our narrow high shelf to protect them the rest of the time.
Then Christmas, Christmas Mass, either Midnight or Morning (if we don't have access to Midnight), and we do the majority of gift giving on Christmas Day. I find that lets us have them for the season so that I can give Christmas movies and we have new movies to watch all Christmas season. or games or crafts that we can do during the Christmas seasono.
Our parish is Holy Family so we have a potluck and game night at the parish on that feast day (the 27th?) and then the stuff going on at New Year's Eve and then Mary Mother of God and Epiphany to round it all up. Plus any fun baking that we didn't get to before Christmas we still will do during the Christmas season.
It's really nicely full now.
And of course everything is flexible since some years things just won't work right babies being born, what Masses are available to us, what the weather is, if anyone is sick etc.
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All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
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aussieannie
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Thank you for that lovely big post Jodie, you have shared so much!
Well I feel the same about not putting up decorations until we actually enter the season, my husband feels differently, he likes the feeling all through Advent, but as you said, I just feel the REAL Christmas season doesn't feel the same, as you are wanting to pack them all away when you've had them up so long! 
One thing that was impressed upon me last night with Joanna Bogle is that you ADAPT tradtions to fit your life and family and HEMISPHERE even...for example someone asked her about what she thought about 'Christmas in July' because in Australia we have winter in July and so some people like to have a christmas meal then..she said, "why not incorporate into the feast of St John the Baptist in late June?" and we all thought  Your description of your table, not having alot of room and your ideas for your advent wreath/candles made me think of that. As for our family, I think of celebrating St Lucy's feast with a new meaning due to the new secular tradition of houses being decorated in lights..we visit those streets on that day, so adapting an old feast into the time we live...Joanna talked about that.
We do the chains with the scripture verses inside, but do you use them as decoration at bit more extensively than 30 or so chain links?
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stacykay
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One tradition that we began when our boys were little was taking a family picture, on Christmas (we go on Christmas Day,) at the Nativity at church. We have pictures of various churches, as we traveled some of the years to FL to visit my parents. It is fun to look at the progression of children from year to year. I'd love to go to Midnight Mass as I did growing up (but that was in Episcopal church.) But my little boys are much too crabby after 9 or 10, and we've never been able to make that work.
We keep all our decorations up until Epiphany, also.
Schooling is lower-key during Advent (we usually follow some theme- Tomie daPaola books, the Jotham's Journey series books, or other books with Christmas themes,) and we make sure we fully celebrate all the wonderful feast days during it. (I got most of my ideas for those celebrations from all of you!) And including elderly relatives in these feast days has become more important to us. It can be such a hectic time of year, if we let it, and I worry about family feeling overwhelmed or overlooked. I am really looking forward to my mil coming over for teas, and our older neighbors, and seeing the smiles over the table decorations and special linens.
My boys love to make paper chains and would hang them all over the house, if I let them.
Other traditions are food related. I make springerles with my grandmother's boards she brought from Germany in 1914. We (dh and me) are sure to have a little bit of eggnog with blackberry brandy, as my grandfather did. I think you get the idea, there!
We have had life thrown into the Christmas mix a couple of times. One year we spent Christmas Eve and Christmas on the road to reach my gravely ill mum. And last year, we lost my dad at the beginning of Advent. Those events can give one a whole different perspective of what we are celebrating! So, even if we aren't able to do our "usual," the boys have learned the Gift is still the same.
God Bless,
Stacy in MI
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Waverley
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Celebrating through Epiphany has had the biggest impact on how our children respond to Christmas. By celebrating through Epiphany our children have come to understand that Christmas day is at the beginning of the Christmas story - not the end. Jesus was not born and the next day everyone went shopping.
In our house, we keep the Wise Men from our creche upstairs on a hall table. The children even made each of the Wise Men their own tent. Beginning on Christmas day, the Kings slowly begin to make their way to the creche moving a little bit closer every day.
On Epiphany, we have a party (we have been having an Epiphany party with the same 2 families for many years).
1. 3 lucky children (names drawn from a hat) each solemnly place a Wise Man at the creche.
2. The children do a full reenactment of the Christmas story, costumes and all.
3. We do a house blessing.
4. We have dinner and serve a King cake.
5. Upon leaving the party, each child receives a small bag of gold coins - to remember the gifts the Wise Men brought.
Celebrating through the Epiphany has really taken the emphasis off presents. The day after Christmas is not a let down at our house because Christmas is not over. We do not take our tree down until after Epiphany.
I love hearing everyone's traditions. Thanks for starting this thread.
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wife to Dh for 19 years, dd (16), dd (11), dd (8), ds (6), dd (4), dd (9-13-1996)
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aussieannie
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stacykay wrote:
| I make springerles with my grandmother's boards she brought from Germany in 1914. |
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I wow Stacy! My husband's ancestory is nearly all German, so it was lovely a few years back at 4Real to discover a place called House on the Hill and started making springerles biscuits..sort of drawing upon an old tradition that would have DEFINATELY been somewhere in dh's family tree. I highly recommend this beautiful cutter, Radiant Star it has the Child Jesus nestled in the middle..
Waverly that is a feast day in the Christmas season I want to expand on - Epiphany...the house blessing would be with the blessed chalk? We did that for the first time last year..your Epiphany celebrations sound lovely..
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MarilynW
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Anne - I have all our traditions on my blog under the Advent and Christmas labe. There is a lot of stuff there - the earlier posts are my descriptions of all our traditions. We have so many family traditions - my children are already talking about them and can't wait for Anna's first Christmas. As for me..hmm well maybe I should just give up and start school in January this year!!
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CandaceC
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We do a LOT of crafts this time of year!  I am not Catholic, but we do a lot of traditions during Advent season that I think (?) could be done by anyone who is celebrating the birth of Jesus as opposed to the wordly celebrations this time of year.
An Advent Wreath We light this each evening as we read an advent devotion and sing Christmas carols.
A Few of My Favorite Decorations I have quite a few nativities, an advent calendar that we add one piece to it each day, I LOVE the house being all decorated for Christmas. And I try to choose decorations that are glorifying to God during this season. Also, we have several children's nativities (that are soft) that they can play with.
The Jesse Tree (from Elizabeth Foss's blog) We have this same Jesse Tree and I love this aspect of our Advent!!
St. Nicholas Day books and ideas Here are the books and ideas we use for St. Nicholas Day!
Advent Traditions in our Home This is a post I put together for our small group at church, to share book ideas, resources and traditions in our home related to Jesus birth.
ALL the Christmas and Advent posts on my blog If anyone is interested, you can scroll down and see many crafts we did. I also have Christmas Book lists (3 posts) where I list our favorite books and activities we did with each book.
HTH! I also love reading all the other traditions that ladies are posting too! It the MOST wonderful time of the year!! Can you tell I love Christmas and Advent??
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molly
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Great thread Anne!
We receive one gift on the feast of St Nicholas, 3 on Christmas day, 1 on Ephinany. We slos usually have friends have to make Ginger bread houses on the feast of Nicholas.
We celebrate Our LAdy of Guadalupe every year with the same family for teh past 15 yrs. We have Mexican food, followed by fried ice cream and a pinata.
Then the next day we celebrate St Lucy, one of the 3 older girls dresses up and brings us all tea/coffee and swedish rolls in bed.
We try in vain every year to do a Jesse Tree, but I am such a failure at it, I donlt even want to admit it Pathetic really!
Dh prefers we put up our decorations on Christmas Eve, but we have finally settled on Gaudete Sunday as the day.
I amke a big fish dinner on Christmas eve, we go to Holy MAss, then home to await Santa/St Nicholas. We awaken to filled stockings, each containing, something to eat, something to read, something we want and soemthing to read.
Then chaos for a few hours.......
Next we celebrate boxing day, we try to prepeare for this ahead of time and be prepared to box up goods for the poor. This reminds me that before Advent begins we celebrate St Martins feast day in Novemeber, all the children receive new coat or sweater or some warm garmet. We also take a collection of used coats to Catholic charities this day,that we have collected from our HS community.
We leave our tree up until Feburary 2nd, celebrating as many feast days as possible during Christmas tide.
Sorry for the poor typos, I will try to edit later, Miss Zelie is calling!
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mcchatty
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We have struggled with the children wanting to decorate the tree as "soon as possible" translation- day after halloween! To try and bridge that gap we began to do a lot of things for advent. AS often ahppens, this grew into a really special time for our family.
The most meaningful thing we do concerns our nativity set. We set it out one "character" at a time and we plan a dinner around that person/animal. We do one or two a week.
So-for the shepherd soup and bread
for the sheep staw and hay pasta (spinach egg pasta in alfredo sauce)
for the wisemen we tend to do Chinese,
for Joseph- oddly enough- pot roast! This traditon began when my father(the consummate meat and potatoes irishman, said,"Enough olives and pita bread! Joseph was a working man, give him real food."
For Mary I have tried various things, flowers in the salad, let's just say it was not a hit and leave it at that.... For the last few years, we've done blueberry cobbler with whipped cream..
When we return from the children's nativity at our parish, Baby Jesus is paraded all over the house (no one remembers why- I think my boys wanted to show him the Christmas decorations) and then lovingly kissed by all and placed in his spot. We have birthday cake for dessert.
We have added to our set over the years, so now we also need dinners for donkeys, innkeepers, angels, cows...
I have a folder and every year I make notes to myself.
My sons (16 and 15) have cut cd's for me of carols and hymns for the different nights(there is a LOT of overlap. We say prayers for our "guest".
We talk about how the nativity foreshadows Jesus' ministry and final visit to Jerusalem.
(Mary rode a donkey to Bethlehem- Jesus rides one to jerusalem, for example) We do other things, but this is the highlight for us.
We also do a scavenger hunt Christmas Eve- I hide 5 clues and they ahve to quest to find their packages- always new pj's. I made the never to be repeated mistake of thinking they had outgrown that custom one year. My 9 year old still brings it up,"oh yeah, that year Mom FORGOT our quest."
Great thread Annie,
mcchatty
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SusanJ
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We try to save Christmas for the Christmas season but in the spirit of making Advent a time of preparation and hopeful expectation we do bring out a few things gradually. The creche scene begins with the first Sunday of Advent and we bring out only St. Joseph (maybe not the most logical but we have a special Advent devotion for him). Then a new figure is added each week with shepherds and animals arriving Christmas Eve during the day. Then the Christ Child is placed in His manger when we return from Mass (which the last few years has been the Vigil rather than Midnight). We also use an Advent wreath during this time. Oh, and the Wise Men "travel" through our house for the twelve days arriving at the manger on the 6th. We keep up the Nativity scene until the end of the Christmas season which is usually a few days after Epiphany.
The tree goes up on the 23rd (so the frozen branches can relax) and is decorated during the day on the 24th. We light it for the first time after Mass while we have a nice dinner in the living room. Gifts begin that evening only if some relative has requested it (one Grandma likes to give pajamas). We take the tree down on the 7th.
Christmas Day we try to get to Mass again and our kids usually have piles of gifts from family and friends all over. We choose a few for them to open that Day to kick off the season and then the last few years we have spread out the gifts until Epiphany saving their "big" gift from us for the last day. We have the same festive breakfast on the 25th and the 6th. We try to arrange all "little Christmas" family gatherings for after Christmas if we can manage it.
For St. Nicholas we sort through our things and find items to donate. We encourage the children to each pick a toy (or several) to donate as well reminding them that new things will be coming soon. They are surprisingly enthusiastic and generous about this.
We don't play up Santa but we don't actively oppose the idea. We talk about the real St. Nicholas and the kids know that Santa is based on him.
Fun thread!
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RA's Mom
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After two crazy Christmases split between our families in Colorado, we started our own advent traditions with our 1 1/2 year old last year. Nothing revolutionary, just a slow liturgically focused celebration. We were abroad and aren't sure how we're going to maintain them in the consumer Christmas US. These posts are so inspiring. Thank you.
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Waverley
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RA's Mom wrote:
| After two crazy Christmases split between our families in Colorado, we started our own advent traditions with our 1 1/2 year old last year. Nothing revolutionary, just a slow liturgically focused celebration. We were abroad and aren't sure how we're going to maintain them in the consumer Christmas US. These posts are so inspiring. Thank you. |
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I think you make some really important points in your post.
First - starting traditions for your family. For years, we struggled spending time between different houses with different traditions. Finally we decided it was time for our children to have their own traditions. We still spend time with family but we intentionally carved out time for us to be at home with our own family traditions.
I think the second point you make also deserves thoughtful attention - consumerism associated with Christmas. I think many of us struggle with this aspect of the Christmas season. Things we have done to lessen the impact of consumerism are:
1. encourage the kids to make handmade gifts or gifts of things to do. For example, one year the kids and I gave my husband a coupon book with coupons he could redeem. The coupons were for things like breakfast in bed, preparing his favorite meal for dinner, mowing the lawn for him, reading him a bedtime story, washing his car, etc.
2. Dh and I give the kids and each other handmade gifts or gifts of things to do.
3. I try not to take the kids to the mall during the Christmas season. If they need to go shopping we will go to small local retailers not located in the mall.
4. I get the mail first and remove and recycle all the toy/Christmas catalogs before the kids see them.
5. Establish a different focus in the home. All the wonderful ideas I have seen here really serve to focus Christmas where it belongs.
I would love to hear everyone else's ideas for addressing the consumerism associated with Christmas.
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Waverley
wife to Dh for 19 years, dd (16), dd (11), dd (8), ds (6), dd (4), dd (9-13-1996)
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stellamaris
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We try to really focus on Advent as a time of waiting and preparation. Every Sunday of Advent, we have a special family dinner with all the kids, spouses, and grandkids invited. We always serve dessert (not a usual occurrence at our house!) Before lighting the Advent candle for the week, we read an appropriate Scripture selection. Then, for each candle there is a verse we say aloud each time we light that candle, something short like, "The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it." These dinners have become very special in our family and they are a beautiful way to continue to gather together to celebrate the liturgical year as the children grow and leave home. For the younger children, we also have a Jesse tree and a Christ "manger" where they can place small pieces of straw when they do a special good deed or prayer (we had to emphasize "special" because otherwise the manger would be overflowing!). There's lots more, but no more time for me to post!
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Caroline
Wife to  dh 30+ yrs,ds's 83,85,89,dd's 91,95,ds's 01,01,02,grammy to 4
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aussieannie
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Sorry ladies that I fell off the wagon with my own thread! But I'm just bringing it up again...I've read all the posts, there are some really beautiful traditions there, I'm printing them up to read again at leisure.
I'm coming back soon with some questions..
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melanie
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I've been thinking of trying putting off the tree until Christmas Eve...ya'll have convinced me! I'm going to try it this year.
We do a lot of similar things mentioned here. I'll add one simple thing that the kids love so much. We make a birthday cake for Jesus on Christmas Eve. This is a bundt cake, we frost ours brown and pipe green icing wreath around it with red hot holly berries...nothing fancy, I'm no professional baker.  And we put candles on it and sing Happy Birthday to Jesus after the Christmas Eve mass, and then share some cake with a late dinner.
Another important change to our Christmas over the years has been to par down the gift-giving. They each get three gifts, like baby Jesus did. This was a big step down from our first few Christmases with just one child...we used to go nuts. And really, 3 gifts a piece times four kids, plus their little gifts for each other and such...there's still tons of stuff under the tree!
We don't do a lot in the way of community service, something we need to work on. One year we did volunteer to help put together Christmas food baskets for our church to give out. The kids always each pick a child off of the angel tree at church and help shop for that child. I like the idea of having them go through their stuff on St. Nicholas's feast day for items to donate though!
We do give the kids three small gifts on Epiphany...a "gold" gift, which is something homemade by me....a "frankenscence" gift, which is something for the spirit, maybe a dvd or book or something like that...and a "myrrh" gift, something for the body, usually fun bath items scavenged and after Christmas sales. That stuff all goes on clearance for 75% off after Christmas!
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homeschooling Maria (13yo), Kain (10yo), Jack (5yo), Tess (2yo), and our newest blessing, Henry Robert, born 4/23!
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anitamarie
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First Sunday/Week of Advent - Outdoor decoratons go up, Creches come out. Mary and Joseph begin their journey through our house. They start upstairs and far away, and are moved each day, arriving Christmas Eve in the Creche. The kids take turns moving them. (Funny aside: one year our then 3 yr old had his Bob the Builder Lego figure pull over Mary and Joseph because they were going too slowly .) Jesus arrives overnight after the kids are in bed.
Second Sunday - Indoor decorations except tree go up
Third Sunday/Week - Bake cookies, gingerbread Nativity
Fourth Sunday - tree goes up (actually we put it in the stand Sat. night and put the lights on so the kids can decorate right after Mass.
If we don't get to go to Mass on Christmas Eve, we wait to open gifts until after Mass. It is amazing how much more subdued they are about the gifts.
Like someone else said, they each choose someone off the angel tree and shop for that person.
St. Nicholas Day is very big here. (I don't yet know what we're doing this year.)
On Christmas Day, the Wise Men begin their journey to the Creche, which we leave up until Candlemas.
We do Santa, but I wish we didn't...that's another story.
Those are some of ours.
God Bless,
Anita
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anitamarie
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Oh, one more thing that we used to get to do. One of our previous Archbishops would have a Blessing the Baby Jesus ceremony at the Basilica every year. JP II did this, and he modeled it on that. We don't have that anymore, but it was so beautiful. Everyone brought the Baby Jesus from the home creche, and the children processed up holding them for the Archbishop to bless. It was a sight to behold. There would be Advent hymns, a Scripture reading and homily, and the blessing. Afterwards, a cookie and punch reception. Lovely.
Anita
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Anastasia
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Here's an Irish tradition that we still use: on Christmas Eve, one candle is lit for the front window. It was really a sign to any priests that might be around during the persecution times that it was a safe house to come and say Mass.
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4Real Forums : Domestic Church
Topic: Planning..what is your xmas traditions?
