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Lavenderfields
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| Posted: July 27 2009 at 10:35am | IP Logged
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First off, I don't know if this is the right forum, feel free to move this thread to the right place.
I am wondering what you all would do in this case, besides pray.
We have a new Pastor, he has been with us for a year now. He gets very upset with the alter servers. One Sunday, he was so angry with the alter servers on the alter, he did not give a homily. He has yelled at the servers on the alter.
He also has a teaching background, was a teacher and a principle in his old parish. He does not approve of homeschooling. Our homeschool group was receving first communion as a group at our parish and he now says we can not. He does not like me, he won't talk to me, but he has always talked with my girls. This is just a little background here is what happened.
Last Friday my dd12 was serving at a funeral (please no discourse on my daughter serving please), for some reason, there was no charcoal left so Father could not incense, this made him very angry, when my dd12 received Communion Father crushed Our Lord in her hand. I am shocked, hurt and upset with Father. How would you handle this.
God Bless
Robynn
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mrsgranola
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Robynn, I don't know the proper response but I do know I would surely contact the Bishop of your diocese. I'm in utter shock...
JoAnna
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Paula in MN
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I would immediately contact the diocese.
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 Paula
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MrsM
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 Your poor dd!  I might use this as an opportunity to speak with my dc about how much our priests need us to pray for them, and perhaps offer a novena as a family for this particular priest. I think you also should address it with the priest himself. A letter perhaps? Or have your dh approach him? Because he took it so far as to commit what sounds like sacrilege in a fit of pique, I'd probably write a letter to the bishop as well.
Just based on your description, this type of behavior strikes me as immature and bullying. I don't know what your options are, but if he's been this way the entire year, I'd also consider changing parishes to keep my children from being further scandalized.
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annabelle125
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I was chalking up most everything to being his personality and something you may have to offer up to the Holy Spirit. But, admonishing alter servers in lieu of a homily is a bit over the top.
Desecrating Our Lord in the hands of a child (or anyone) REGARDLESS of the reason or how angry he was in totally unacceptable. I would have to take that one to the bishop.
I will pray for you and for your pastor.
Many Blessings,
Anne
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guitarnan
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Another vote for communicating with your bishop. If nothing is done (as in, your dd does not receive an apology and your pastor does not change the way he treats altar servers), I would seriously consider changing parishes.
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hylabrook1
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At the very least, your Bishop needs to know about all of this, but particularly about the irreverence with which the priest treated the Blessed Sacrament.
Peace,
Nancy
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KC in TX
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I also recommend going to the bishop. I'm so sorry that your daughter had to go through this. How utterly shocking to hear that.
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folklaur
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another vote for contacting the bishop!!!!
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insegnante
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A question I have is whether you're sure he did exactly what was described, and it wasn't an accident or misperceived by your daughter if she was feeling intimidated by his angry demeanor and history of actions toward servers? Did you witness this yourself?
If what he did was truly sacrilege against the Blessed Sacrament, the penalties could be extremely grave, although there may be factors that could prevent the worst penalties from being applied in a particular case. "A more serious excommunication arises automatically when an individual commits a sacrilege against the Blessed Sacrament—either by throwing away the Sacred Species, or by desecrating them. This automatic excommunication is reserved to the Holy See, meaning that only the Holy See can remove it (canon 1367). The canon allows for additional penalties, including reduction to the lay state, when the offender is a cleric." -- from the article "Strong Medicine: Canon Law and Excommunication" by Pete Vere, JCL at http://www.catholic.com/thisrock/2007/0711fea4.asp http://www.catholic.com/thisrock/2007/0711fea4.asp
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Nique
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While you are waiting for a response from your Bishop, how about going to another RC Church close by, temporarily or permanently, for future Sunday Masses? And you can light a candle for him there?
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Red Cardigan
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Can I be totally honest?
If this were me, I'd RUN as fast as possible to get away from this parish. Here are the red flags I see:
--pastor won't talk to you but will talk to your kids (I'm not implying anything here except that it's a huge lack of judgment for a pastor to do this post-Scandal, as that was one of the markers of many of those situations)
--pastor has made it obvious he dislikes you
--pastor engages in inappropriate "bullying" activities (e.g., yelling at altar servers, "punishing" all by skipping a homily, etc.) despite the fact that pastor has been a teacher and principle and presumably knows that it is wrong to bully people
--pastor gets angry with CHILDREN for things that aren't their fault (e.g., no charcoal available for incense)
--pastor cannot control his anger and/or temper
--pastor committed (objectively) an act of SACRILEGE as a way of venting his anger IN THE MIDDLE OF A MASS.
If all this is accurate, then this pastor is a time bomb. Whatever he is hiding behind his mask of anger and bullying is going to "go off" eventually, and I wouldn't, if I were you, want to be anywhere near that parish when it happens--for the sake of the kids.
I would write to your bishop, too, and ask the parents of other altar servers who have noticed the same thing to join you, either signing the letter or writing their own (so it's not seen as one parishioner's personal vendetta, etc.). I would also send copies of the letter or letters to the diocesan Vicar General, the diocesan Chancellor, and the diocesan Vicar for Priests because the more people you send it to, the better chance there is that someone higher up will see it; a lot of our letters to a bishop don't actually reach that bishop, but are dealt with by staff. If your daughter is willing to write a letter of her own, honestly discussing what happened and her feelings about it, that would also be a great thing to include in your correspondence. Keep copies of everything you send, too.
If for some reason you can't actually leave the parish right away (no other available, child in the midst of sacrament prep., etc.) then I'd still encourage you to remove your children from altar service. Have as little contact with the pastor as possible, and don't get involved in any parish activities where he will have a strong presence. It is never a good thing when any adult acts this way, but when a pastor acts this way his actions are spiritually damaging and can have terrible repercussions.
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Lavenderfields
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Thank you for all your responses.
Theresa, no I did not see this personally, but my dd told me this because she wasn't sure how she was supposed to comsume all the little pieces in her hand. She also mentioned it to one of the Deacon's in our church who is our very dear friend and when I talked to him he said this Priest has slammed the Blessed Sacrament into his hand on other occasions. I know she is telling me the truth.
It is very hard to entertain the idea of leaving this parish. We have been very active, and all the people at daily Mass are like family. I am very conflicted, but even my dh is talking about finding a different parish. We live in Los Angeles County, the parish we attend is not an Diceasian Parish, but the other two Parishes that are in resonable distance are. 
I will write a letter to the Bishop and see if my dd wil write one as well.
God Bless
Robynn
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JodieLyn
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Robynn, if your dh is saying that, you know it's not just your perception or emotion speaking.
And remember that it may not have to be a "forever" move.. you can stay in contact with those you're close to even while attending another parish.
This priest was only moved there a year ago, but he may be moved again sooner rather than later and you'd be able to go back to that parish.
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stellamaris
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Robynn, is this priest an order priest? You said the parish wasn't diocesan. Perhaps you need to contact the Provincial of the order. It certainly sounds as if this priest needs both serious prayer, conversion, and possibly help for a physical or mental condition. Chronic, excessive anger is a serious sign of disorder that should never be ignored. I would think if he is in an order, they would want to help him and also safeguard the members of the parish from his current destructive (to himself and others) behaviour. I would absolutely have several other members of the parish contact the appropriate ecclesiastical official(s) as well as you.
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LucyP
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Oh my goodness. I will remember this priest in my prayers, and also you and your dh as you make decisions.
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Maddie
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Oh boy. It sounds exactly like a priest we had. We fled the parish, complained to the bishop, wrote letters, etc. to no avail. It was only when he was arrested for child p*rn that he was removed. Praying for your family, it is a rough spot to be in, especially with your children.
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Martha
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absolutely everything Red said I agree with.
aside from her observations..
I always get a little sick in my stomache when a member of the church staff, esp a priest, does such things.
My dh is not christian/Catholic. And every time he sees or hears someone like that, he takes it as just more confirmation of why there's no reason for him to ever want to convert. I'm not saying I agree with him. I'm saying I don't need such people giving my dh one more excuse/reason.
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SusanMc
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Wow, from your description my first concern is for the health of this priest, particularly if he is older. That sort of anger directed inappropriately can be a sign of early onset Alzheimers or dementia. In addition to informing the appropriate parties, I'd treat him as a sick individual rather than a bad one for now. You just don't know, do you? Of course that doesn't mean you need to subject your kids to these outbursts.
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Angie Mc
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Robynn, my heart is breaking for all involved .
Thank you all for discussing this matter respectfully. For those who are new to this message board, I'll copy below our related policy:
Quote:
We must give special care when writing about ordained clergy. The sacramental nature of Holy Orders requires we take care in regard to discussion, just as we do regarding marriage. Through the ordained ministry of the priests and bishops, the presence of Christ as head of the Church is made visible in the midst of the community of believers. This is not to say that a minister is preserved from all human weakness, the spirit of domination, error, even sin. But even the priest's sins cannot impede the fruit of grace of the Sacraments.
Legitimate concerns should be taken up within the appropriate channels within the parish or diocese. Prayers for our priests are always in order.
The Sacrament of Holy Orders and the office of the clergy are always to be respected, and disparaging or inflammatory discussion of clergy in general or any priest in particular will not be permitted on the board. |
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I'm praying that a speedy and loving remedy is found for this painful situation .
Love,
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Angie Mc
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4Real Forums : Domestic Church
Topic: Angry Priest
