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hmbress
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| Posted: March 27 2009 at 10:25am | IP Logged
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Have any of you had your child go through first reconciliation earlier than the typical 7 or 8yo? My son (our oldest) turns 6 this April but he seems really ready to me. He is quite emotionally mature for his age, and very spiritually sensitive. When he realizes he has just blurted out a lie (or is challenged about an obvious lie), he crumples in tears. Not just because he fears the consequences, but primarily because he is truly contrite and feels so bad that he displeased Our Lord. He understands original sin and concupiscence (I don't use that word with him, but he totally gets how we have this tendency that we can't even begin to fight without grace). He wants that grace!
Emotionally, he has begun to process adoption grief issues way earlier than is typical. At age four, after our family went through a last-minute failed adoption, he asked me why the birthmom changed her mind. I explained how it's such a hard thing for a mother to do, and after a little while he realized that he never got to meet his birthmother and burst out crying because he would never know her. He wondered why his birthmom decided not to keep him and said he wished he could live with her. I knew enough to not take this personally, and reassured him that she wishes she could live with him too, but she loves him so much that she wanted him to have more than she could give him, etc. After about 15 minutes of crying and talking about it, he was completely fine. Our social worker was amazed that he could be so aware of what he was feeling, articulate it, and grieve in such a healthy and immediate way. She said it is more typical for this to happen at around age 8 and that it normally takes much longer for the child to process.
Anyways, you get the picture. I don't think he's quite ready for First Holy Communion this year. He understands it theologically and believes in the Real Presence, but I'd like to see him progress some more in his ability to be truly attentive and prayerfully participative during the Liturgy of the Eucharist. Physically, he is very much an active, easily distractible 5yo boy. I suspect he will probably be ready for FHC by next spring. However, I do think he would benefit greatly right now by being able to receive the graces of the Sacrament of Reconciliation. He has asked if he can go to confession too.
I have a call in to our DRE but would like to know if others have chosen early reconciliation, not tied immediately with FHC. What do you think might be the cons of such a plan? Or pros, aside from what I've stated?
Thanks for any advice,
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Heather Rose (ds13, ds10)
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Lisbet
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| Posted: March 27 2009 at 1:09pm | IP Logged
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My dd will be making her 1st confession in a week or so, and then her FHC about a week before her 7th birthday - she is definetly ready
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Lara Sauer
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| Posted: March 27 2009 at 2:11pm | IP Logged
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My son, who is 6, has been asking to recieve his First Communion and also asking if he can make his own examination of conscience. We are hoping the he will be able to make his First Communion on or near his 7th birthday, which is July 10th.
Talk to your pastor about teaching him at home to prepare him for receiving the sacraments...I hope they are able to help you.
Peace and prayers...
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Mary G
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| Posted: March 27 2009 at 2:47pm | IP Logged
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I'd go directly to the pastor and ask what his guidelines are for FR/FHC. He may want to quiz your son and see if he truly is ready. This is not someting you want to rush but to keep him from it if he is truly ready wouldn't be good either.
That said, I know our old pastor wouldn't allow anyone under 7 to go thru FR/FHC period.
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Jody
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| Posted: March 27 2009 at 3:42pm | IP Logged
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I would also go to your pastor and ask what his guidelines are.
My son was very ready also for his first reconciliation. He made his first confession and received his FHC when he was 6.
I felt it was a very good decision. Not that you want to push these things but in his case I felt it fostered a great love for the sacraments.
Peace,
Jody
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Nique
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| Posted: March 27 2009 at 5:27pm | IP Logged
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Our daughter made her 1st Confession (and 1st Communion) when she was 6. She told us she was ready, and was very
spiritually sensitive, as you described. She asked our Parish Priest, and then DH asked as well. Our Priest gave her permission:) We taught her at home.
However, 5 minutes before her Confession she got cold feet! It was a surprise to us all!! She would not go into the Confessional. No matter what Father suggested (waiting 5,10,15 minutes, or even saying her Confession while sitting in a pew) she was terrified! Having planned her First Communion the week later, DH and I should have asked she come back in 2 or 3 days, but we didn't think of it at the time. We had not planned for this to happen. So you know what our dear Priest allowed dd to do? Have her mother accompany her to her First Confession   Everything worked out in the end..but after that experience, I've decided our next child won't be making her 1st Confession till she's 18 
In all seriousness though, Jesus DID say, "Let the little children come to me".
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hmbress
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| Posted: April 13 2009 at 1:42pm | IP Logged
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Well, our DRE has encouraged us to go ahead and prepare Nathan for his First Reconciliation. She thinks it's great to have kids get comfortable with that sacrament as soon as they understand right from wrong and have the act of contrition memorized. Apparently nothing special is required. As soon as we feel he's ready, we just take him to a normal Saturday confession time.
So now - any good children's books or materials out there on the subject? Thanks!
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Heather Rose (ds13, ds10)
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Jody
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| Posted: April 13 2009 at 8:12pm | IP Logged
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Heather,
You can check out this for great sacrament preparation materials.
specifically on the subject of First Reconcilliation there's The Catholic Prayer Sequencing Strips (set C) that contains a hands on approach to memorizing the act of contrition.
Also Sacrament Preparation Match-Me Activities (set B) contains the 10 commandments, plus the 7 deadly sins and opposite virtues.
All the activities are hands on and all are self correcting so the kids can do them independently and get instant reinforcement.
Hope this helps! Jody
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4Real Forums : Domestic Church
Topic: Early First Reconciliation?
