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Rachel May
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| Posted: Dec 09 2005 at 9:32am | IP Logged
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HOw do you deal with going to confession?
I used to be able to go once a month because of how the "confessional" was set up at the military chapel. It's a portable wall that was dragged into the sanctuary during exposition. The kids were visible to Jesus, me and Father, but they couldn't hear me. 
Now we are at a real Catholic Church but the kids are to big to come in and too little to stay out. My husband is never home, and I don't have a baby sitter or friends to help.
It has been so long since I've made it to confession and I can feel the pressure building. Any ideas?
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Rachel
Thomas and Anthony (10), Maria (8), Charles (6), Cecilia (5), James (3), and Joseph (1)
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JSchaaf
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My girls are 6, 5, and 3. I've been confessing weekly for about the last year, and the last three months I've had to take the girls with me. They usually go in with me...if there is something I need to confess that I can't say in front of them I will just say the general category it's in, or I will ask forgiveness for all the sins I'm unable to vocalize.
Having my kids in there with me is good for me. When I have to confess how I'm irritable and crabby with them, they hear it too, it's like I'm apologizing to them as well. It's very humbling to confess in front of your children. I know it's not how it's supposed to be done, but it seems to work for us. I haven't had a priest who has had a problem with it.
Jennifer
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MacBeth
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| Posted: Dec 09 2005 at 10:30am | IP Logged
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Hey Rachel!
Call the priest and ask him what he thinks. Perhaps he can scedule a time when the church is empty, and the kids can sit outside with something to do. Perhaps his secretary can occupy them for a time (I am just throwing out ideas, since I do not know any of the people at your church). Perhaps they know a teen who might like to sit with them for a bit while you go.
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MacBeth in NY
Don's wife since '88; "Mom" to the Fab 4
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guitarnan
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We used to do "co-op" confessions at our last base chapel; one set of parents would watch the kids while the other parents went, and then they'd switch.
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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Rachel May
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| Posted: Dec 13 2005 at 8:35pm | IP Logged
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Here's the report. GOD IS GOOD! I went! Thank you so much for the great ideas and support. Sometimes you jsut need that kick in the pants.
Being outside a military chapel has been an interesting experience. One thing that is very different is that there are a lot of old people and very few young families. That has slowed me down on making friends and finding a confession buddy or babysitter.
I found out there was a penance service tonight and determined that even if all 5 came in with me and I could not receive the spiritual guidance that I crave, I would go and receive the grace of the sacrament because that's what it's all about. I can get guidance another time. Then my loving husband, knowing how very imporant it is to me, said he would come home early and take a break from studying for his finals so that I could go alone (my first time out alone in over a month). What grace.
I agree, Jennifer, that it is good for us to apologize to our kids, and you inspired me to sit down with them and do just that. I'm grateful that it didn't have to be in the confessional though.
MacBeth, you reminded me of a previous confession I had in a military chapel that had been built by Anglicans. There was no confessional at all, but there were all the fun Catholic things--Stations of the cross or a crucifix for example--to interest the kids while Father and I sat in the pews. I think making an appointment and using that strategy will be a permanent solution.
Nancy, Jennifer, MacBeth, Thank you so much for your help. I'm so happy right now that I'm beaming!
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Rachel
Thomas and Anthony (10), Maria (8), Charles (6), Cecilia (5), James (3), and Joseph (1)
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Tina P.
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| Posted: Dec 14 2005 at 7:43am | IP Logged
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Jennifer:
Your idea baffles me! My oldest would turn on me and tell Dad all my sins (as if he doesn't know already!)  But honestly, I do not want my son picking up on even the slightest imperfection in me that he doesn't arleady know about. He already says things like, "Why can't I say/do ... ? YOU say/do it!"
My whole confession would be: "Father, forgive me for those things which I can't verbalize right now." The end. 
God bless,
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Tina, wife to one and mom to 9 + 3 in heaven
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Tina P.
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Rachel, I wish I could be your confession buddy! I need one, too!
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Tina, wife to one and mom to 9 + 3 in heaven
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JSchaaf
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| Posted: Dec 14 2005 at 10:55am | IP Logged
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Tina-
My oldest is just 6, so most of her time is spent trying to peek around the screen and wave at the priest...she does pick up on some things, just this past week I had to confess some gossiping I took part in, she did ask me what gossip was. I don't get alot of spiritual direction during confession, that's for sure! It's really quick, and, yes, sometimes I just need to ask for a general absolution. When my dh gets home (just 2 more weeks!) I'll be able to go to confession alone-there will be some specific things I'll need to confess at that time...I have to add that because of them being in the confessional with me, all three of my girls (even the 3 yo) are eager to experience the Sacrament for themselves.
Jennifer
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Rachel May
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| Posted: Dec 14 2005 at 2:13pm | IP Logged
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My previous situation where the kids could see me Jesus and Father was great for encouraging the sacrament also. As soon as the Exposition song was over my kids ran to the front of the line for confession (in front of 2 or 3 other people only too willing to give them a turn first). Each took a turn chatting with Father and then he gave them a blessing with his hand on their head so it looked like what I was getting too.
My kids would definitely grill me on my sins, I know! Yesterday they were asking me if King David was burning in the fires of Hell because he had Uriah the Hittite killed so he could marry Bathsheeba. I had to find the Bible story and read to them that David was told that God forgave him (although when I pulled out the Bible I wasn't sure where David was let alone the "rest of the story". I was just hoping for clues).
Tina, are you very far away?
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Rachel
Thomas and Anthony (10), Maria (8), Charles (6), Cecilia (5), James (3), and Joseph (1)
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4Real Forums : Domestic Church
Topic: Confession
