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mimmyof5
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| Posted: June 16 2008 at 8:19am | IP Logged
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Over the last couple of years this has occurred more often. A wedding during Sunday Mass. In fact, our pastor is pushing for this practice and said it is the norm in the Catholic Church. I did a little research but couldn't find anything.
I was wondering if this is common in other areas of the country, and we are just slow catching up.
I have to admit that I can't quite get use to it. Yesterday the poor groom was so nervous he was getting all his words mixed up, and I wondered if standing up in front of so many people he didn't know (HUGE parish) just made it worse. In fact, I wonder if I would have ever gotten my dh to the altar under those circumstances; he was nervous enough with family and a few close friends.
Maybe I need to adjust my thinking on this?
Janet
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JennGM
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| Posted: June 16 2008 at 8:37am | IP Logged
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That is interesting. I'd have to dig to find resources about that. I know in Baptism the ideal place is at Sunday Mass, because we are all members of the Mystical Body and are welcoming a new member into the Church. Seems to make sense with that application of the Sacrament of Marriage, in fact, all the sacraments.
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Matilda
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| Posted: June 16 2008 at 8:43am | IP Logged
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Wow. I have never heard of this practice except during WWII when men were shipping out left and right. The priest would ask who needed to be married and do it right there during Mass. On one hand, I could see how a pastor would desire such a thing in order to cut down on the circus that has become a wedding these days and I would applud him for it, but I can also see how it might be very uncomfortable for the bride and groom. We don't live in close communities like they use to back in the 40's. We have a handful of close friends that attend the same church as us, a smattering of people we have "howdied but we ain't shook" but most of them are complete strangers.
I am all for Catholics doing their best to make weddings more simple affairs, but I'm not sure how I would feel about going to Sunday Mass and finding myself a wedding guest. I'm curious as to what others will say.
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hylabrook1
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| Posted: June 16 2008 at 9:15am | IP Logged
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We've had two or three of these over the last couple of years. Our pastor said it is supposed to be the norm to integrate the sacraments and the community liturgy in this way. I think, though, that the ones I have seen have been the *blessing* (don't know if that's the right word/idea technically) of marriages that were originally not Catholic. One I particularly remember was part of receiving a man into the Church; he celebrated his First Communion, Confirmation, and received the Sacrament of Matrimony all at the same Mass.
Peace,
Nancy
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LisaR
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| Posted: June 16 2008 at 11:32am | IP Logged
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hylabrook1 wrote:
I think, though, that the ones I have seen have been the *blessing* (don't know if that's the right word/idea technically) of marriages that were originally not Catholic. One I particularly remember was part of receiving a man into the Church; he celebrated his First Communion, Confirmation, and received the Sacrament of Matrimony all at the same Mass.
Peace,
Nancy |
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cool, a convalidation!! I think for sure what you mention is perfectly suitable to occur within the Sunday Mass, what better way to be welcomed into the fullness of the Faith!
We prefer Baptism's of our babies to happen during the Sunday Mass, I know many who have a Sat evening Mass (counting for Sunday obligation) for their wedding, but these have been "private" as opposed to occuring during a regularly scheduled Mass time...
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CrunchyMom
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| Posted: June 16 2008 at 12:00pm | IP Logged
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I don't think the Saturday evening wedding mass can count for your obligation unless the readings/prayers, etc... are those for Sunday.
I think that in the TLM, the tradition is to do weddings and baptisms immediately following the mass. This way, there is still a community feel and that of associating holy mass with the other sacraments, but the focus of the mass itself is Christ.
I'm not really sure what I think of weddings as a part of "Sunday" mass. I haven't researched it, but my feeling is that it is not the "norm" but that it is certainly the norm to have a wedding with or during a "mass" just not the Sunday mass. Liturgically, it just seems strange to me since Sunday mass should include the Sunday readings and prayers, but those wouldn't seem as appropriate to me as readings and things that are specifically addressing the imagery of marriage for a wedding.
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ctrivette
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| Posted: June 16 2008 at 12:07pm | IP Logged
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I have never been to a wedding on Sunday (or to Sunday Mass and found a wedding) but this makes it seem more common than I would have thought.
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Loren
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I kind of agree with Lindsay. The norm for a Catholic wedding is within a Mass. Also, no Mass is exclusive, that is, everyone is always welcome at a celebration of the Eucharist. This means that it makes perfect sense to celebrate the sacrament of Matrimony at any celebration of the Eucharist and that's seems to me to be part of the reason for the tradition of the wedding banns.
I have been present when couples renewed their vows before the Church, usually as a celebration of their anniversary. I would welcome marriages being celebrated during Sunday Mass, but I know several people who would have problems with it because it's not the way their used to seeing it done.
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Matilda
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| Posted: June 16 2008 at 1:02pm | IP Logged
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Lindsey wrote:
| I don't think the Saturday evening wedding mass can count for your obligation unless the readings/prayers, etc... are those for Sunday. |
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Lindsey,
Actually it can. You can read a lively discussion about it at the Catholic Answers Forum or in this article that was linked to in the discussions. Jimmy Akin also addressed the issue a while back when Christmas fell on a Monday.
The obligation to attend Mass is not tied in anyway to the readings or the prayers. That is why you can attend Mass at a Byzantine or Maronite Rite Church instead of a Roman Rite and still fulfill your Sunday obligation. The translations, prayers, readings will all look very different, but it is still a valid Mass.
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LisaR
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CrunchyMom wrote:
I don't think the Saturday evening wedding mass can count for your obligation unless the readings/prayers, etc... are those for Sunday.
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yes, that is correct, and they are/were..
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Lisa
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LisaR
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Matilda wrote:
Lindsey wrote:
| I don't think the Saturday evening wedding mass can count for your obligation unless the readings/prayers, etc... are those for Sunday. |
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Lindsey,
Actually it can. You can read a lively discussion about it at the Catholic Answers Forum or in this article that was linked to in the discussions. Jimmy Akin also addressed the issue a while back when Christmas fell on a Monday. |
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hmmm, interesting, I'll look into this!!
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Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
Thomas 11
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Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
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stacykay
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| Posted: June 16 2008 at 2:39pm | IP Logged
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Our last priest encouraged couples to have their weddings at Sunday Mass, and several did. It was very neat. He also had almost all baptisms and all First Holy Communions done at the Sunday Masses. The First Holy Communions were done with 3 children per Mass (including Sat., we have 4 Masses,) per week. It wasn't all the First Communicants at one Mass. The families were in the front rows. It was nice and low-key compared to some of the zoo-like First Holy Communions we have been to with people jockeying for position to take photos, saving whole pews, talking like it is a social right in Church!, to name a few distractions.
Our new priest has switched everything back around and weddings and baptisms no longer occur during Sunday Mass.
God Bless,
Stacy in MI
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hylabrook1
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Not meaning to start a fuss, but I think a large part of the reason for encouraging weddings at regular Sunday Masses is exactly for the focus to be on Christ. Often, at wedding Masses it seems like it becomes *all about the couple*, or at least leans that way. When the wedding takes place at a regular Mass, the focus is moved back to Christ, as the couple's marriage is more directly or more expressly an aspect of their life as members of the Catholic community. By no means am I saying that no wedding Mass is a holy, spiritual celebration that affirms the couple's faith. But sometimes when the *reason* for the Mass is the wedding, for some people it almost starts to feel like the wedding is the reason for the Mass. I hope I am putting this clearly and not being offensive to anyone. When our pastor explained the idea that the wedding would take place in the regular Mass, this was, in part, what he talked about.
Peace,
Nancy
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mimmyof5
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This is interesting. I have to admit that I've been viewing it from a personal perspective - putting myself in the place of the bride.
I'm an extremely private person and am very shy. The thought of standing in front of several hundred people that I don't know and reciting marriage vows seems akin to emotional torture. That is way beyond my comfort zone. Every time I've attended one (no prior notice - come to church and there's the wedding party)I've been very thankful that this was not the norm 23 years ago when I married.
I have been to more than a few weddings that have the feel of a 'show' about them where it seems the focus is on the wedding party and not Christ. So in that light, I understand the desire to have weddings be part of the regular Mass. As I said, I was reacting from my own narrow comfort zone.
I was wondering how far back we would have to go find this as the common practice. It wasn't in the 40's when my parents or in-laws married, nor was it when my grandparents married - at least where we live. I asked my mil, and she had never seen it before.
I'm always curious about changes - especially when I'm told it's returning to the correct form. 
Thanks for all your answers.
Janet
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Matilda
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| Posted: June 16 2008 at 7:28pm | IP Logged
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mimmyof5 wrote:
I was wondering how far back we would have to go find this as the common practice. It wasn't in the 40's when my parents or in-laws married, nor was it when my grandparents married - at least where we live. I asked my mil, and she had never seen it before. |
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Let me clarify what I said. I don't think it was common practice in the 1940's but it was done during WWII specifically. I actually knew a girl in college whose parents were married in this way. They had completed all of the Church's requirements for marriage so at the next available Mass before the groom shipped off, the priest called them up to the altar and married them. From what I understand, it was only common during wartime. Didn't mean to be confusing! 
In fact, if it was the norm... why would there be so many specific rubrics for the Nuptial Mass with special blessings for the bride, etc? That is true for the Tridentine Rite as well as the Novus Ordo.
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mama251ders
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When I was a teenager, my YM got married during Saturday evening Mass. I think for her, it was easier than trying to invite, basically, the whole congregation to a seperate wedding  ! That church was packed!
Blessings,
Betsie
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stacykay
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mimmyof5 wrote:
This is interesting. I have to admit that I've been viewing it from a personal perspective - putting myself in the place of the bride.
I'm an extremely private person and am very shy. The thought of standing in front of several hundred people that I don't know and reciting marriage vows seems akin to emotional torture. That is way beyond my comfort zone. Every time I've attended one (no prior notice - come to church and there's the wedding party)I've been very thankful that this was not the norm 23 years ago when I married. ......
Janet |
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Janet,
we were married 23 years ago too, and I was petrified at the thought of walking down the aisle with all those people (100) looking at me, (most were from dh's large Polish side with just his aunts/uncles!) I was so glad to have my dad there to hang onto his arm! 
I was even nervous at my bridal shower given by dh's family- so nervous I dropped the lid to my brand new china sugar bowl. It shattered into a million pieces and I just wanted to disappear! 
God Bless,
Stacy in MI
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Topic: Weddings During Sunday Mass
