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lydia
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Posted: Jan 16 2008 at 4:16pm | IP Logged Quote lydia

Hello, this is my first post, I have been lurking for a while now. I a have 4 children and am engaged to a non-practicing Catholic. I am from a different religion but we decided I would convert before we got married. I have attended a few RCIA classes and Mass quite a few times. However I am confused as it does not seem like the Catholicism I read about before I started attending. No one seems to dress modestly and no one wears veils, the pulpit doesn't even look like the pictures I have seen, and the bathrooms are unisex. I have spoken to many of the ladies after mass and I was sort of sad to hear them tell me they don't fast on Fridays. However I went recently to an Orthodox Church and it felt the way I had expected the Catholic church I am attending to feel. Please don't misunderstand me as I am falling in love with the Catholic religion I am just wondering if I was expecting too much or if the Church has gone through changes I am not aware of? Is it normal for someone converting to feel this way?
Lydia
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CKwasniewski
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Posted: Jan 16 2008 at 5:24pm | IP Logged Quote CKwasniewski

Hi, Lydia,
I'm a convert too... and I think that your reaction is totally normal. I had a "romantic" notion of the Catholic Church--a Medieval Church, just like you describe. I was blown away when I first went to a regular parish. But I also understood soon after that this was not the heart of the matter.

There have been BIG changes (some good, some mistakes) since the 60's (in the wake of the 2nd Vatican Council), but NOT to doctrine, not to the ESSENCE of what the Church is:
1. We follow what the Pope teaches, as he is the successor of the Apostles
2. We believe that Jesus is truly present in the Eucharist. Everything else flows from these 2 things.

THAT is what you have to believe and love to be a Catholic.... All the rest IS important, but only secondary.

It is sad but true, that not everyone who claims to be Catholic even follows these things. However, once you know better, you don't have to be put off by it.

There are more or less traditional feeling parishes and services. If you search around you may be able to find a more traditional Novus Ordo Mass or THE Traditional Mass (Tridentine Mass), recently "re-activated" by Pope Benedict. Among others, priests of the Fraternity of St. Peter say this form of the mass.

It is true that the Orthodox and the Byzantine branches of the Catholic church have kept their traditional feel. However, even they are having troubles...

I hope this helps. Please feel free to write again. You have found a great place to ask all your questions.

blessings,
CK
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folklaur
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Posted: Jan 16 2008 at 5:30pm | IP Logged Quote folklaur

CKwasniewski wrote:

It is true that the Orthodox and the Byzantine branches of the Catholic church have kept their traditional feel. However, even they are having troubles...


Just to clarify...Orthodox are NOT in union with Rome.

Byzantine Catholics (which may look identical to Orthodox) ARE in union with Rome.
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lydia
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Posted: Jan 16 2008 at 9:42pm | IP Logged Quote lydia

Thank you for your reply. I do believe I had this romantic notion of what the Catholic Church should be. It saddened me somewhat to see it's not as traditional as I thought it was. However I am not letting that deter me.

I just found out the difference between the Orthodox and the Byzantine Catholics. I do have a Byzantine Catholic Church about 20 minutes away. I will have to try and visit.
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Jenny
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Posted: Jan 17 2008 at 11:12am | IP Logged Quote Jenny

See if the Fraternity of St Peter is in your area. They celebrate the Tradition Latin Mass. We switched about 11 years ago, even though my husband and I were born after Vatican II. There is a huge differnce.

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Sarah M
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Posted: Jan 17 2008 at 12:26pm | IP Logged Quote Sarah M

Hi Lydia. When I converted 4 years ago, I came from a very active protestant church, and it was hard for me to see that 1.many Catholics don't know what the Church teaches and 2.some of the traditions and rituals I had read about were not being practiced in my local parish.

There is a lot of variance in churches as to how traditional/modern or liberal/conservative they are, but the essential teachings are the same. Be encouraged! I think the conversion process can be emotional and discouraging- everything at one point looks rosy, but then the blinders come up suddenly and we get a wake up call. The parish I was received into went through some major issues during my conversion years. I'm so glad that I wasn't put off by human error, but was able to grasp firmly the Truth of our faith.

I found this book to be extremely helpful during my conversion-- I still read it from time to time.

My prayers are with you!
Sarah
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lydia
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Posted: Jan 17 2008 at 2:47pm | IP Logged Quote lydia

Sarah,the book looks interesting so I went ahead and ordered it.
Jenny, I went to the website but unfortunately there isn't one in my area. Is that the only resource for churches that hold the Traditional Latin Mass?
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Heliodora
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Posted: Jan 17 2008 at 6:20pm | IP Logged Quote Heliodora

You can try The Latin Mass Network in order to find other Tridentine Masses. Not all Tridentine Masses are said by the FSSP. This website is relatively new, but they have several links and the managers could certainly answer some of your questions.

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Jenny
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Posted: Jan 17 2008 at 8:35pm | IP Logged Quote Jenny

Lydia, the Fraternity is an Order of Priests that only say the Traditional Latin Mass. Call your Diocese and ask if there is a Parish in town that has the TLM. I know recently, a local Parish in a small town near us has the TLM on Friday evenings. But I have found that if a priest is willing to say the TLM, he is going to celebrate a very reverent Novos Ordo Mass and adhere to and teach the true teachings of the Church.

I want to add, there are many priests who do not say the TLM and are very reverent and teach the truth of the Church, I didn't want there to be any confusion to what I was saying

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lydia
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Posted: Jan 18 2008 at 1:06am | IP Logged Quote lydia

The closest I could find is a 3hr drive away. Frustrating.
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Angie Mc
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Posted: Jan 18 2008 at 12:41pm | IP Logged Quote Angie Mc

lydia wrote:
The closest I could find is a 3hr drive away. Frustrating.


Peace be with you, Lydia. I have found that God provides exactly the situation we need to draw us closer to Him. It brings peace to know that when a situation is not our personal ideal, we can focus on the right authority of the Church and a valid Mass. It is beautiful to know that we can offer up any of our perceived losses (if we don't like the priest or don't like the way people dress or don't like the RCIA instructor or don't like the music or...) as sacrifices before Our Lord. When we know that all is purposeful, we are less vulnerable to what is going on around us and we can grow in confidence in our relationship with Our Lord and His Church.

Love,

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CKwasniewski
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Posted: Jan 18 2008 at 12:51pm | IP Logged Quote CKwasniewski

Angie, you are quite right!

It can still be VERY hard...because this is NOT the way it is supposed to be, and there is also the difficulty about the formation of children.

I would encourage you, Lydia, to try the Byzantine services a few times. They offer a very "satisfying" way of praying and a real sense of the sacred permeates the liturgy. Unfortunately, that is what is sadly missing from many parishes and what souls are most hungry for in the modern world.

prayers for you and your family,
ck
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lydia
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Posted: Jan 18 2008 at 11:34pm | IP Logged Quote lydia

Thank You Angie, I needed that reminder.
CK I was thinking about doing just that.
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