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graciefaith
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| Posted: Aug 28 2007 at 8:55pm | IP Logged
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I'm just horrible at it! Last night i was with some friends and we started talking about Religion. They were asking me about Catholicism in a very sincere and inquisitive way so in no way were they attacking me. I now know im cannot explain things for the life of me. They wanted to know where in the Bible it talks about things like Purgatory, Infant Baptism, Contraception, Tradition etc. I KNOW it's in there but i couldnt tell them where. One of them is a Baptist and so she has memorized a few of the very common verses that supposedly support their stance on things like salvation etc. I'm just horrible! But this is just me. Im horrible at explaining a lot of things. Like if someone asked me about why i use some the curriculums i've chosen and even though i KNOW why and the philosophy behind some of them, it just doesnt come out that way. I came away feeling like a very poor representation of our Faith. I was however truthful to them and told them that i would look some things up and get back to them. They were very sincere and just wanted to know out of curiousity. Maybe next time i should just keep quiet. 
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KackyK
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I soooo feel for you. My sil is Southern Baptist and I use to feel like she was always waiting to "catch me" so to speak. It made me nervous. I'm using the past tense because we had a bit of a "discussion" a couple of months ago over email (never a good idea...too impersonal, but we got stuck there). Everything I came back with, she had some twist to it, and ofcourse more scripture. I finally said that some family members don't talk about politics, but we need to not talk about religion...neither of us is going to change each other's mind.
With her, I was finding that although I was trying to simply inform, she'd always come back with how I was "wrong". Very annoying. I really dislike feeling threatened...people approach with just a simple question, but then immediately put you on the defensive. Makes having a dialogue very difficult, because right off it seems they aren't listening, or don't really want to know what you have to say, they just want to make their point, KWIM?
I had a priest tell me one time, that no matter what I say in these defending your faith moments, it is always "right". Have trust that the Holy Spirit was guiding your answers. When we think...gosh I wish my friend so and so was here, she's much better at answering these questions...that may be so...but the Holy Spirit wanted YOU to be there at that time, we just don't know why.
I always wondered why too and I realized for me...it made me want to learn more and to become more confident and to be able to dig up those scriptures on a moment's notice...so to speak. I began a bible study through this Scott Hahn bible study program. It is free (you have to buy the book(s). I haven't gotten very far...but I hope to get there!
Plus I have become more aware, not just to defend my faith when people question, but even when people's actions aren't virtuous...I see it even more and realize when I need to change my course of action.
I think I have gone into rambling...I don't know if that helps...but I wanted you to know...you are so not alone in being in that situation! I'm glad to know I'm not alone either!!!
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MichelleW
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| Posted: Aug 29 2007 at 12:52am | IP Logged
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KackyK, that was so very helpful! Thanks for posting your thoughts on this.
GracieFaith, I don't think you should keep quiet. I find that when I feel I said all the wrong things (or, more likely, lots of dumb things) that is when the Holy Spirit uses something to touch someone's heart. I think the Lord loves to do this because then we can't take credit for how well we communicated. It really was all God. Less temptation to be prideful...
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Bookswithtea
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| Posted: Aug 29 2007 at 7:49pm | IP Logged
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I think that your example of kindness, charity, and friendliness along with love of God speak much more than what comes out of your mouth.
Like St. Francis of Assisi said, "Everywhere, preach the gospel; when necessary use words."
Most people who ask these kinds of questions don't really want to hear an intelligent answer. And if they ask about several topics at once, that's a good sign that no matter how much they love you, they are also setting you up as they likely have rebuttals for them already (unless you know ahead of time that they are seeking the Church).
The best advice is also the easiest...don't Bite! Instead of answering question after question, tell them your personal experience.
"You know, I feel so close to Christ during Holy Communion. It strengthens me throughout my week."
"I love confession. I feel God's healing presence every time, and I am strengthened to say no to sin."
"I don't worry too much about purgatory. I just keep my eyes focused on Jesus and let him be the author and finisher of my faith."
"I take comfort in the guidance of the Church. By following her, I my walk with God is much closer."
And then, "pass the bean dip, please?" 
Seriously, evangelicals rarely know how to respond to these kinds of answers (I know...I used to be one). They will go away slightly confused, but will conclude, "Well, she must be a saved Catholic." 
And really, you are squarely doing what scripture calls when you respond this way. When asked, "Give a reason for the hope that lies within you." We aren't all called to be master apologists, but everyone can say something personally they love about their Faith and about the hope it brings them.
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~Books
mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and  due 9/10
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onemoretracy
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| Posted: Aug 29 2007 at 8:29pm | IP Logged
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KackyK wrote:
I soooo feel for you. My sil is Southern Baptist and I use to feel like she was always waiting to "catch me" so to speak. It made me nervous. I'm using the past tense because we had a bit of a "discussion" a couple of months ago over email (never a good idea...too impersonal, but we got stuck there). Everything I came back with, she had some twist to it, and ofcourse more scripture. I finally said that some family members don't talk about politics, but we need to not talk about religion...neither of us is going to change each other's mind.
With her, I was finding that although I was trying to simply inform, she'd always come back with how I was "wrong". Very annoying. I really dislike feeling threatened...people approach with just a simple question, but then immediately put you on the defensive. Makes having a dialogue very difficult, because right off it seems they aren't listening, or don't really want to know what you have to say, they just want to make their point, KWIM?
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Kacky I had a very similar situation earlier this summer with my best friend. The whole thing evolved almost exactly as you have described. We have taken a break from the religios discussions. There is a part of me that is frustrated that there was no progress. I don't mean that she wasn't wanting to convert, just some understanding and clarity at least! Who know though, i keep praying and I am sure that while it seems that whole email trail was completely unproductive it may be that there has been a softening of her heart and a groundwork laid for future conversations.
Graciefaith, do not beat yourself up! You are not alone in feeling so flabbergasted. Maybe this is a prompting from God to read some apologetics stuff so that you will feel more at ease when this comes up again.
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cornomama4
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When I was in RCIA, I read a couple of books by Patrick Madrid. I think the most helpful was "Where is That in the Bible" and also The Communion of the SAints" I think that was the title...long since loaned out and disappeared!
I also just came across this laminated "Apologetics Concordence Cheat Sheet" with the Scripture references for all sorts of hot topics.
I read that giant tome "The Faith" published by TAN a few years (and a few babies) ago, but "The Faith Explained" was much less tedious. HTH!
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graciefaith
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RCIA here is open to not only those entering the Church, but those who are already Catholics but want to learn more about the faith. This year it runs the same time as CCD so i will probably do that while the girls are in class.
Thank you ladies so much! This experience does make me want to better learn our Faith.
I spoke to her and she did look up all the verses i emailed her, regarding the subjects she was asking about. I found a website(scripturecatholic.com) that was very helpful. She did tell me that she still did not believe or see our stance on the subjects but we left it on a good note. She did of course find more scripture to challenge what i had emailed her but decided not email it to me b/c she didnt want it to become a huge thing between us.
Thank you ladies again! I'm going to see if my Mom or MIL have any of these books. Maybe i can just borrow it from them. Thank you again!
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Lorraine
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I just read this thread and I have exactly the same issue as graciefaith. Thank you for posting, graciefaith. I learned a lot from everyone.
My neighbour is an evangelical homeschooler. She was one of the first people who inspired me to homeschool, but when it comes to religion... It seems like she had read a book called "What's wrong with Catholicism" and could recite everything back to me. I felt so bad I couldn't defend our faith. I went to Catholic Answers online and looked up the answers to her "questions" and there discovered how much I didn't know about our faith. Thank you Books, I really like your tip on sharing our own experience. I'll use it when the opportunity presents itself again 
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Small Things with Great Love
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4Real Forums : Domestic Church
Topic: I'm HORRIBLE at explaining our Faith
