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saintanneshs
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I've never posted on this board before so this is a first. Please bear with me...it's a bit long.
I'd like to ask, if I may, for prayers for my brother. He's 30 this year and living with his girlfriend. He is so lost as to what his true calling is in life. He is a very motivated, very hard worker and loves challenge. He is very smart and very worldly. He has lots of money and a job he loves and a very good spirit but he is not finding fulfillment in any of what he already has. I can see it in his eyes and hear it when he is with my children. He says he longs for children and a family life and yet he is growing more and more distant with me as he sees the choices dh and I are making. I had hoped we would inspire him but I think we are making it harder for him to face the reality of his denial of the sin of his lifestyle. On our family vacation, he told one of my sisters that he is plagued with "Catholic guilt." When my little sister asked me what I thought, I told her that it was his guilt talking and being raised Catholic had nothing to do with it. I told her that he knew he was doing something wrong and was choosing to go against EVERYTHING we were raised to believe about love in a marriage. This is why he feels guilty, I think. I told her we should pray for him every day and make sacrifices for him. 
He hasn't "opened up" to me like he used to, in a while. A few years ago he was dating a different girl (pretty much living with her too) and he confided in me that he didn't know what he was doing. He wasn't happy then and he isn't really happy now. Back then, when he quietly but purposefully sought me out one evening at my parents' house, I took it as a sign for me to confront him and ask him why he thought this was okay when his heart and soul were telling him it wasn't. I didn't condemn him, I just asked him a few questions about what he believed. I wanted him to acknowledge what he was doing, not to me but to his own heart. I wanted him to think about it. He wouldn't say it, but his body language did. He looked so defeated. I don't think I'll ever forget that "talk" and how far away he was. When he told me his misgivings about love and life, I challenged him to seek peace in Christ and go back to church, that God would help him. He did. I prayed that the right girl would come along who would "just say no" for lack of a better phrase, and thus maybe teach my brother a thing or two about the beauty of chastity within a relationship. That didn't happen. Maybe I didn't pray hard enough. Maybe I wasn't worried enough. But he did start going back to church tho not faithfully. Now he actually sits in the pew with this new girl he is living with and listens to the gospel and yet doesn't HEAR it. I don't know if he is receiving Holy Communion and endangering his mortal soul. I don't think he knows his catechism well enough to know that what he is doing could send him to hell for eternity, which would make it NOT a mortal sin since he doesn't have the full truth. Maybe he does have it. Maybe I just don't want to face the fact that he is choosing the lifestyle of sin anyway, and therefore knows its consequences but is not believeing in them. It breaks my heart  that he thinks he can pick and choose which parts of Mother Church's teachings he can subscribe to.
Since that first time he confided in me years ago, he hasn't sought my confidence. I fear he thinks I am judging him when all the while I am just praying he will come back to God. His job is a very dangerous one and I pray he will not die before he has the opportunity to embrace his true vocation and reconcile things with God. I have also realized (from observing him on all our family get-togethers and vacations) that he seems to have become more dependent on alcohol to help him relax in the evenings. It's just a drink with dinner or just afterward and he isn't anywhere near what I'd call "in danger" but I see this as one more way for him to escape his conscience. Maybe I'm just a big sis who is making more of it than there really is ??
To get to the point, I am making every sacrifice and every rosary from today on, all for him, that God may use this time to mold my brother, in his unhappiness and lack of fulfillment, in his wanderings through the last twelve years, to get him ready for whatever great change must occur to save him from the sinful choices he has made. I am praying that this year the Holy Spirit will guide my brother with a loud voice, so loud my brother can't stand to ignore it anymore. I figure if my prayers and pleadings to the Lord and to Our Lady cause my brother to be plagued all the more in the coming year, then maybe that will help him come back from the lost path he is wandering on. I just can't stand to watch him struggle any more and feel as if I'm not doing my part to go get him.
You know how big sisters, when they're sent to retrieve the littler ones who run away from Mom, start out at first trying to gently persuade the little one who has run off to come back? Then, when all else fails, they grab that little one, kicking and screaming and yank them back to Mom, for their own good. Well, we're grown-ups and not kids, but this is my kicking and screaming mode. Up until now, I've tried to "evangelize always" with my actions and choices and now I think it's become "necessary to use words."
Please pray for my little brother, John, if you can. I know you devout women, with great hearts filled with love and mercy for all families, carry much weight with Our Heavenly Father...
Thank you all for letting me share this burden with you.
 Jesus, I trust in You.
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Kristine
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shartlesville
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| Posted: Oct 10 2006 at 1:08am | IP Logged
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Praying!
Blessings,
Krisann
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Krisann
DH Cris;
DC John, Elizabeth, Lilyann ^i^, Emily, Kate, Julia, Sam, & Jack;
DGC Kira, Auston, Travis, & Sarah.
My Blog: Isla del Esperanza
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MaryM
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Oh, your post hits close to home. I think many of us have family or friends in similar situations who we long to draw back to living the Faith. We will add him to our list of those we pray for in this regard.
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Mary M. in Denver
Our Domestic Church
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esperanza
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Praying for your brother.....I had to hop off the computer and call my dad to thank him for praying for me many years ago when I was going down a dark path.
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In His Peace,
Tammy Gonzalez in VA
dh-Johnny
mom to Tara-'85, Noelle-'88, Jeremy-'91, Elizabeth-'93, Emma-'96, Dominic-'99, Gabriel-'01, Elijah-03
and Jacinta-06
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Erin
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Kristine
As one big sister to another you have my prayers. Remember St Monica, for thirty years she prayed.
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Erin
Faith Filled Days
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Maddie
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I could have written your post word for word. You have encouraged me to pray more for my own "little" brother (30) and make more sacrifices for his soul. I get so exasperated with him sometimes, but we are playing for keeps, aren't we? I will pray for both of our brothers more fervently.
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~Maddie~
Wife to my dh and Momma of 9 dear ones
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jdostalik
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Kristine,
You have my prayers. I am a big sister with the same worries for my two younger brothers...
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God Bless,
Jennifer in TX
wife to Bill, mom to six here on earth and eight in heaven.
Let the Little Ones Come
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kristina
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Kristine,
Count on my prayers for your dear brother, John. He is so fortunate to have such a caring sister.
I want to encourage you to never give up on him, even if things look bleak. God will reward your perseverence. Also, don't be discouraged if you are not the one to lead him to truth. Pray that God will place a good and Holy influence in his path and your brother will have a powerful conversion.
Blessings,
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kristina
yesterthoughts
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Erica Sanchez
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Kristine,
Praying!!
You've encouraged me to increase prayers for my own little brother, Josh, who is also living with his girlfriend. And, I think it is time to "use words" maybe via a loving letter. He has been with this girl for a long time. At the beginning, before they moved in together, they started going to Mass again and such, so much so that we asked him to be godfather to our Annie. We were out of siblings to ask and it seemed hopeful. Right after that they moved in together! I'm not giving up on him, but it saddens me greatly to think of the sin and of the long, hard journey they have should they marry.
Praying for all 'little brothers' and other family members away from the Church.
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Have a beautiful and fun day!
Erica in San Diego
(dh)Cash, Emily, Grace, Nicholas, Isabella, Annie, Luke, Max, Peter, 2 little souls ++, and sweet Rose who is legally ours!
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ladybugs
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Kristine,
This is very similar to the situation with my brother.
He used to talk with me but for the past 2-3 years, he would not even give me his contact information nor let anyone in my family have it...
Recently, he called, and told me that 8 months ago he broke up with his girlfriend with whom he had been living.
Anyway, I will pray for your brother and all of the brothers mentioned here...
Maybe we should just start a novena for all family members in our families to return to the Church.
Anyone game for that?
Maybe we could do the JP II novena since he was so instrumental in encouraging and challenging youth?
We could start tomorrow.
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Love and God Bless,
Maria P
My etsy store - all proceeds go to help my fencing daughters!
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Maddie
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| Posted: Oct 10 2006 at 11:45am | IP Logged
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ladybugs wrote:
Maybe we should just start a novena for all family members in our families to return to the Church.
Anyone game for that?
Maybe we could do the JP II novena since he was so instrumental in encouraging and challenging youth?
We could start tomorrow.
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Wonderful idea. Do you have a prayer you could post?
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~Maddie~
Wife to my dh and Momma of 9 dear ones
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saintanneshs
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yes, I'm in too. Thanks to all of you for the comforting words. Last night I wasn't sure if I should post this but I'm glad now that I did. I will remember all of your little brothers and sisters in my prayers too.
If we do the novena, what do you think about making a list of first names of our loved ones who have not yet come back to God and the Church? I know it might extend prayer time a bit, but I feel like it's so much more personal when you have a name to say (and first names only, please). What do you think? Either way, I'm sure the novena will bring about the Holy Spirit on behalf of our beloved.
Thank you all again for all the prayers.
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Kristine
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MaryM
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There is an organization out of Chicago - St. Monica Sodality. The Sodality's purpose is twofold: to pray for a return to Catholic unity and to provide prayerful support for those who have experienced the loss of faith of a loved one. They have past issues of their newsletter posted which have support and encouragement. They pray the St.Monica Novena. It might be this novena or one of these Monica prayers - not sure.
I'm in, too. Interestingly my dad and his siblings collectively took on as a special intension this year to pray fervently for their children (and nieces and nephews) who have left the practice of the faith. They are enrolled in the Sodality.
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Mary M. in Denver
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stefoodie
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I so understand where you're coming from, Kristine. Praying for your little brother and you.
stef:)
big sis to two younger brothers who need lots of prayer and guidance too
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stef
mom to five
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JennGM
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Prayers, Kristine. I've had a wayward brother and other family members along the way. Keep up the good work.
My grandmother had one brother who was really awful...terrible guy, fallen away. She decided to give up her absolutely favorite thing -- chocolate. And she did...for many years. And right after she made this decision, she had a job selling Russell Stover chocolates, and allowed to eat all she wanted. She never broke her promise, as hard as it was. Her brother ended up having a deathbed conversion...it was amazing.
Don't give up, whatever you do.
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Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to  & ds1  '03 & ds2  '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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ladybugs
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Here's the novena prayer to JP II...
O Blessed Trinity, we thank you for having graced the church with Pope John Paul II and for allowing the tenderness of your fatherly care, the glory of the cross of Christ, and the splendor of the Holy Spirit, to shine through him. Trusting fully in your infinite mercy and in the maternal intercession of Mary, he has given us a living image of Jesus the Good Shepherd, and has shown us that holiness is the necessary measure of ordinary Christian life and is the way of achieving eternal communion with you. Grant us, by his intercession, and according to your will, the graces we implore, hoping that he will soon be numbered among your saints. Amen.
- official prayer to ask favors through the intercession Pope John Paul II
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Love and God Bless,
Maria P
My etsy store - all proceeds go to help my fencing daughters!
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ladybugs
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Or do we want to do the St. Monica one that Mary posted?
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Love and God Bless,
Maria P
My etsy store - all proceeds go to help my fencing daughters!
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ALmom
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Can we also include brothers (or family members) who have simply left the faith. I have one brother who is anti-Catholic but otherwise a great person. Another brother and his family left the Catholic church for an evangelical church - the support for family and moral values was more in keeping with the truth than the local exposure he had gotten in college and after at the Catholic church and he is a great and loving husband and dad.
Janet
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MaryM
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ALmom wrote:
| Can we also include brothers (or family members) who have simply left the faith. |
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I would think so - that is actually more the situation with most of my relatives.
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Mary M. in Denver
Our Domestic Church
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saintanneshs
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ALmom wrote:
| Can we also include brothers (or family members) who have simply left the faith. Janet |
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Sure! I'm going to go through this thread today and make a list so I don't leave anyone out of my prayers. Feel free to offer first names. If not, I'll just go down the list as ____'s brother, ____'s siblings, etc.
I'll be praying the Saint Monica prayer and Prayer for Vocations as well as the novena.
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Kristine
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4Real Forums : We Pray to the Lord
Topic: For my little brother
