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Aagot
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| Posted: Sept 28 2012 at 11:28pm | IP Logged
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who is a very angry 13 year old.  May God fill him with love and joy.
Praying for all of you and yours!
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Michaela
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Praying for your son.
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Michaela
Momma to Nicholas 16, Nathan 13, Olivia 13, Teresa 6, & Anthony 3
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guitarnan
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Praying, with empathy.
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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juliana147
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Praying for peace of heart for your son.
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- Juliana
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10 Bright Stars
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Prayers for your son. As a mother of several boys 13 and over, 13 can definately be an "angry" time. This is just a phase. I have had my boys go through it, and come out the other side as very, very sweet young men! If you think of it as hormones being introduced into their body as they go through puberty, one being testosterone, which makes men agressive and angry until they learn how to subdue it, then you can realize it is more that then them just being "awful".  
A few things I learned:
1. Boys in this transition stage need PHYSICAL ACTIVITY and lots of it. Not just playing outside, but working out, LONG bike rides, jogging...they need to burn this stress off in a positive way! Daily exercise is a must! They produce relaxing endorphines to help them feel more calm.
2. They need firm and set limits for their behavior. This is not the time to feel sorry for yourself, since, let's be honest, it is hard to not take some of this stuff personally. Now is the time to gird your loins, and present a strong and respectable front, even if you don't buy it yourself!!  Quick consequences for disobedience and disrespect.
3. If Dad hasn't had a large role in their lives as far as discipline, or having "man to man" talks with them about "your growing up now, Son. It's time to start taking responsibility for your actions and how you treat others..." and things along that line to inspire him and strike the chord within every boy/man to be honorable and courageous. He needs to hit upon this sort of stuff, especially when it comes to how the boy treats his mother, and accept no deviation from the repsect you deserve.
4. Pray for your son, which I am sure you always do, and encourage them to ask their Guradian Angel for help.
5. When a tantrum strikes, quiet time in a room alone may be what the best thing is for family harmony because often at this age, boys just sort of go on a rant because they also have the added stage coming in that is wanting "justice" and the ability to argue with new intelectual prowess then they used to, and the ability to think quickly and sometimes, their arguments are logical and make sense, which is new to mom , who is used to being the quicker thinker in the situation from when they were little!! Sort of stunning, and often humbling! Again, you are in charge, even if their argument "makes sense". You can always change your mind some other time, but stand your ground, THIS time.
6. And, try to find common and peaceful ground where you can. If he is harmonious when cooking breakfast with you, make that a really nice time. If he likes to go shopping with you, make that a really nice time where you try to overlook some of the pre-teen annoyances. (one that used to bug me was one son would always fidgit with the settings in the car...be it the radio, the heat/a.c controls...if there was a knob, he was turning it! It drove me nuts for some reason while I was driving, and we would often get in an argument about something this silly. I just tried to stop letting it bother me and enjy my time with him, and he either grew out of it, or got bored with the exploration!
Anyway, I am sure I could think of more...but keep him active, try to make sure he isn't bored...i.e..has a meaningful hobby..mine really loved making home movies with the other siblings at this age, and then got into photgraphy of nature in the yard a bunch. We would all praise his accomplishments, and the others liked to make wooden swords and do things with bow and arrows and such in the yard at this stage. Think about boys in the past...they would have been working a farm..hard..all day at this age. Some even were captains of ships at age 13!!! Today, boys are often not challenged as they were in the past, and end up spending a lot of time with mom, as a homeschool boy, which is probably NOT where a boy needs to be to become a man at this age. (as hard as we try! ) So, try to think of adventure, activity, and finally,
Get him to the sacraments, especially Confession, more frequently. Boys feel badly when they are angry, and when they have upset people, especially mom. Even though they are more mentally savvy at this age, they still don't quite know what to do to "make things better." So, frequent confession can help soothe that inner guilt of "being angry and mean" and help pour grace into the situation.
Make sure he is getting enough sleep and eating enough. He is probably also going through a growth spurt! I remember when my eldest "seemed" to go to bed one night a boy, and the next day when I went in to wake him up, his feet were sticking off the end of the bed, and I thought, "Who is that man in there?!!" He shot up overnight. This is a complex and mysterious thing!!! Think of all the chaos the body must be going through during this time! So, patience, pray, and peace when you can faciliate that. Difficult time, but well worth the effort!! You WILL reap the reward on "the other side" if you persevere!!!!!!!! 
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Kim married to Bob (22y)
Mom of 11 blessings:
Bobby 19, David 17, Noah 14,
Mary 12, Gracie 10,
Isabelle and Sophia 8,
Gabrielle 6,
William Anthony 4, Joseph 3 and Luisa Marie - born in M
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mariB
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Praying for your son..having 3 sons of our own...it all can be challenging at times. WOW! Great advice from Kim on the above post. This is why I love this forum so much. Such wisdom from all of these ladies. May God bless your son and your family!
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marib-Mother to 22ds,21ds,18ds,15dd,11dd and wife to an amazing man for 23 years
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drmommy
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Praying for you. I have a 20 year old, and remember those days! Great advice here too.
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Booksnbabes
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Praying!
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Wife to wonderful DH, mom to SIX beautiful gifts from God!
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stellamaris
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Praying for you and for him!
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In Christ,
Caroline
Wife to dh 30+ yrs,ds's 83,85,89,dd's 91,95,ds's 01,01,02,grammy to 4
Flowing Streams
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Aagot
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| Posted: Oct 02 2012 at 9:45am | IP Logged
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Thanks so much Ladies! Things are looking better. However temporary, I will take it. 
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stefoodie
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| Posted: Oct 02 2012 at 10:00am | IP Logged
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I have a 13-yo and we have this happen from time to time too. Many prayers for you and him!!
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stef
mom to five
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4Real Forums : We Pray to the Lord
Topic: for my son
