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drmommy
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| Posted: Aug 22 2012 at 4:56pm | IP Logged
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Please pray for a friend issue. She is a dear friend, but we are growing apart due to our differing priorities. I homeschool my 3 girls, work outside the home, and take care of my Dad, and of course, house and husband. I used to meet her once or twice a week. One day, after falling WAY behind in schoolwork, and talking to my spiritual director, I had to make the decision to re-prioritize, which meant, actually spending time homeschooling (girls are aged 10, 12, and 15). Since I work mornings, we "do" school 1-8, with housework and errands in between. So, I put my foot down about all the "friend" dates. My good friends understand. This was my "best" friend, and she is literally angry at me for only giving her a window for coffee. She said it is too difficult to meet that time. She has two children, stays at home, and does more of an "unschooling" approach, or no schooling. So, needless to say, my emails and texts go unanswered because she is so mad at me for homeschooling. She doesn't want me to even talk about schooling in front of her children.
I don't know what to do, and she is not a communicator, so I need prayers. I would like to keep the friendship, but it is soo much work! Please pray for me, as I am not always so tactful. Bridget
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juliana147
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| Posted: Aug 22 2012 at 6:45pm | IP Logged
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Bridget
I'm sorry about the situation with your friend. I'll pray that she comes around to understanding all that you have on your plate. This can be so painful... so I will pray for you, too.
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- Juliana
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Nique
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| Posted: Aug 22 2012 at 10:50pm | IP Logged
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Mail her a card telling her you miss her, and that you are sorry. Explain that right now, life is overwhelming and you have to take care of what needs to be done (you can even list what needs to be done).
Mention you look forward to getting together with her,
then call her about a week after she receives your card to set up a date/time.
Praying for the two of you.
Sounds like she needs you more than you thought. Offer this bump in your friendship for her and God will find a way of helping her understand.
xo
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I had always thought that once you grew up you could do anything you wanted - stay up all night or eat ice cream straight out of the container. ~Bill Bryson
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drmommy
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| Posted: Aug 23 2012 at 10:44am | IP Logged
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Thank you so much for the kind words. I actually told her that I loved being with her, but the stress of always falling behind in school and house was not conducive to a happy family! She said she just wanted to visit with me at least once a week (which is flattering and nice), but I told her that I felt called to get my priorities in order according to God's Will for us. She understood. We will see each other once a week for a class our children are taking, but she likes the 2-3 hour stretch of talk and coffee. It has been so hard, and did not want to hurt her feelings, but I was getting very frustrated. We are both so different, too...she doesn't like plans or schooling, and I live off plans and school from 1-5, then 7-8 daily. We are just two different women, and I am trying to find a happy medium that suits us both, without hard feelings.
Thank you so much for your prayers and concerns! It means a lot to me. Bridget
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Nique
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| Posted: Aug 24 2012 at 12:16pm | IP Logged
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You handled it so well Bridget. Yeah, 2-3 of talking is alot of time, especially when in your mind, there are a list of things you gotta get done.
Put your family first!
I've found everyone I know has dealt with friends who they've wanted to spend more time with, but with HSing, life IS a different busy and they've just had to humbly accept it.
You are a wonderful friend!
Take good care of you!
xo
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I had always thought that once you grew up you could do anything you wanted - stay up all night or eat ice cream straight out of the container. ~Bill Bryson
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Chris V
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| Posted: Aug 24 2012 at 1:21pm | IP Logged
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So glad to hear of your happy resolution. Bridget. Situations such as this can be so delicate and sometimes we just can't gauge the other's response. I think you handled it wonderfully.
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Chris
Happy Wife with my Happy Life
Mama to My Five Girls ('04~'07~'09~'11~'11)
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10 Bright Stars
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| Posted: Aug 26 2012 at 12:08pm | IP Logged
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Felt the same way this year and last. Love talking to people on the phone, and things like that, but it isn't conducive to productiveness in school, and the kids are sort of left to fend for themselves ( I have a lot of littles) as I would talk for over an hour or so on the phone. (Most of my dear friends prefer the phone to email too.) So, they were all understanding, but it does sometimes make for strained relationships that were used to having you "there" for them, and of course, I miss that too. But, my vocation is to my family and really, they own my time so to speak. (the kids and husband) I do remember feeling very "uncalibrated" if I would be on a long call, which was fun, but then it was like stepping off of a ride and back on the sidewalk of real life...I would feel confused, like, "Now where were we? What should we be doing? Where is so and so?" Kids really do need all of our attention and if they were in "regular" school, the teacher would certainly not be on the phone for hours at a time, or hanging out and focusing on one of her collegues. So, there is a time for that, and play dates etc., but maybe she has younger kids and doesn't realize that the kids have one teacher...and one chance to get it right. She is probably just sad about losing time with you, and will re-adjust. I think stealing little moments here and there to let her know you still care is a great idea! It must be nice to have someone that cares about you so much!
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Kim married to Bob (22y)
Mom of 11 blessings:
Bobby 19, David 17, Noah 14,
Mary 12, Gracie 10,
Isabelle and Sophia 8,
Gabrielle 6,
William Anthony 4, Joseph 3 and Luisa Marie - born in M
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KC in TX
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| Posted: Aug 27 2012 at 3:51pm | IP Logged
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I am closer to my one friend I don't see as often because we have a daily conversation by text. I never thought it would happen this way. But, it works for us because we don't have to answer right away unlike phone calls which can take consecutive minutes. 
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KC,
wife to Ben (10/94),
Mama to LB ('98)
Michaela ('01)
Emma ('03)
Jordan ('05)
And, my 2 angels, Rose ('08) and Mark ('09)
The Cabbage Patch
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drmommy
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| Posted: Aug 27 2012 at 10:40pm | IP Logged
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Thank you for your prayers and suggestions! I LOVE texting, but most of my friends do not like texting OR emailing, which is a shame! I truly do not have the time for phone calls, so emails are a good tool for me. I feel a lot of peace now since I have put up some boundaries, and have re-focused on my family again. God bless you ladies! Bridget
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4Real Forums : We Pray to the Lord
Topic: For a friend issue
