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amyable Forum All-Star
Joined: March 07 2005
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Posted: Jan 03 2012 at 8:02am | IP Logged
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For either dh or myself please.
This may sound like a silly issue, and I hope it in no way comes across as husband bashing, because I love my dh.
Here's the story. I have for years felt we had a mold and dust problem in our house. We had someone out to clean the ducts a few weeks ago which actually did confirm mold in the air with a "screening test". I have been begging to rip up the carpets and have hardwood, or at the very least new carpet. He's a "one thing at a time" person and just won't do it, I guess until other things are done, which aren't moving along either. He has back issues and work issues, I *understand* his reluctance, but...ugh. It doesn't help that I agree with him that hardwoods would not look as nice as carpet in our style of house. This is why I just want to MOVE, which isn't working out either...
We are home almost all the time, and my children all have various levels of "sickness" - two have autoimmune diseases (alopecia and rheumatoid arthritis), three have multiple food allergies, one gets headaches as do I, two sneeze all the time, one has asthma and another outgrew it. We deal with depression, anxiety, ADHD and eczema in me and the kids. There is not one child uneffected by "something". I feel strongly that these things are caused or in no way helped by the air quality here. I run an air purifier which has gotten rid of a bunch of the airborn dust, but we must still have mold as that test showed (and my bathroom wallpaper and grout shows no matter how much I clean). We are going gluten free to help the allergen load, but that won't help enough if it's really something else, KWIM?
I have begged and begged (gently, mind you...but now and then over years and years - we've lived here 15 years now! ) He's a kind, gentle, highly educated man, but he will not budge...it's kind of like he pats me on the head and says, "there there now crazy lady, it's OK" and if I fight back he just gets hurt and shuts down more.
I am putting this in God's hands, and yours. Please beg God for some resolution to this, as my heart is breaking for us. That dh would just *get it done* without me having to ask again (which seriously would harm our relationship) or that we could finally find a good house to move into (it's been 3 years of heavy looking), or that all the mold and dust would just miraculously disappear? I wouldn't be opposed to Extreme Home Makeover coming out.
Or that if air quality is NOT our problem, I would feel peace about it?
My whole family is falling apart, and no one cares, and I feel very alone.
Thanks ladies. So much.
__________________ Amy
mom of 5, ages 6-16, and happy wife of
The Highly Sensitive Homeschooler
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kristinannie Forum All-Star
Joined: Jan 27 2011 Location: West Virginia
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Posted: Jan 03 2012 at 8:07am | IP Logged
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I am sending prayers up for you right now. I hope that the Holy Spirit will give you the wisdom and the strength and courage to handle the situation.
__________________ John Paul 8.5
Meredith Rose 7
Dominic Michael 4.5
Katherine Elizabeth 8 months
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Angel Forum All-Star
Joined: April 22 2006
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Posted: Jan 03 2012 at 9:09am | IP Logged
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Prayers, Amy! I just saw a doctor yesterday who confirmed that I am not crazy about the mold thing; that even if a skin prick test comes back negative for mold allergies, there are many, many kinds of mold it doesn't test for. I'll pm you some links later, but mostly I'll pray for a resolution and HELP on the journey to health!!!!
__________________ Angela
Mom to 9, 7 boys and 2 girls
Three Plus Two
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guitarnan Forum Moderator
Joined: Feb 07 2005 Location: Maryland
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Posted: Jan 03 2012 at 9:10am | IP Logged
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I am praying for you, Amy, and for all the issues that trouble your heart.
__________________ Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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stellamaris Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 26 2009 Location: Virginia
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Posted: Jan 03 2012 at 9:17am | IP Logged
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Oh, Amy, . Praying for a resolution and for healing and health for your family.
__________________ In Christ,
Caroline
Wife to dh 30+ yrs,ds's 83,85,89,dd's 91,95,ds's 01,01,02,grammy to 4
Flowing Streams
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Mackfam Board Moderator
Non Nobis
Joined: April 24 2006 Location: Alabama
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Posted: Jan 03 2012 at 9:41am | IP Logged
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my dear friend! I am praying for these specific intentions, for unity in communication and action, and for peace and health!
__________________ Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19, ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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wifemommy Forum All-Star
Joined: July 10 2006
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Posted: Jan 03 2012 at 10:03am | IP Logged
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praying....Annie
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Gloria JMJ Forum All-Star
Joined: Sept 07 2008
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Posted: Jan 03 2012 at 11:25am | IP Logged
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Our childrens health is so important. Praying he sees that, or God changes your situation for the healthier.
__________________ Smoothing Stones Holy Family Rosaries
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SusanMc Forum Pro
Joined: Jan 21 2008
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Posted: Jan 03 2012 at 11:59am | IP Logged
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praying for you, Annie, and your husband and your kids. these sorts of disagreements are truly a challenge of the vocation of marriage, I think.
__________________ Mom to two dear sons, '07 and '08.
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Kathryn Forum All-Star
Joined: April 24 2009 Location: N/A
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Posted: Jan 03 2012 at 3:00pm | IP Logged
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Prayers for you and your family as you discern how to move forward. Being "in a rut" with the same old "discussion" gets reallly old and frustrating.
__________________ Kathryn in TX
(dd 16, ds 15, dd 8, dd 5)
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Booksnbabes Forum All-Star
Joined: July 20 2008 Location: N/A
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Posted: Jan 03 2012 at 4:52pm | IP Logged
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Praying for you and your family, Amy.
__________________ Wife to wonderful DH, mom to SIX beautiful gifts from God!
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juliana147 Forum All-Star
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Posted: Jan 03 2012 at 5:30pm | IP Logged
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Praying for you and your family, Amy!
__________________ - Juliana
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DominaCaeli Forum All-Star
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Posted: Jan 03 2012 at 10:02pm | IP Logged
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Prayers, Amy. Especially to dear St. Joseph.
__________________ Blessings,
Celeste
Joyous Lessons
Mommy to six: three boys (8, 4, newborn) and four girls (7, 5, 2, and 1)
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JennGM Forum Moderator
Joined: Feb 07 2005 Location: Virginia
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Posted: Jan 04 2012 at 9:15am | IP Logged
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Praying, Amy. I've been thinking about this request so much for you! Dh is probably thinking "why fix and invest money in this if we are eventually moving?"
__________________ Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to & ds1 '03 & ds2 '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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CrunchyMom Forum Moderator
Joined: Sept 03 2007
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Posted: Jan 04 2012 at 9:39am | IP Logged
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JennGM wrote:
Praying, Amy. I've been thinking about this request so much for you! Dh is probably thinking "why fix and invest money in this if we are eventually moving?"
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Yes, though, by my way of thinking, if you to invest the money to fix the floors, you will find the perfect house
Prayers Amy! I've been thinking of you.
__________________ Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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amyable Forum All-Star
Joined: March 07 2005
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Posted: Jan 04 2012 at 1:50pm | IP Logged
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JennGM wrote:
Praying, Amy. I've been thinking about this request so much for you! Dh is probably thinking "why fix and invest money in this if we are eventually moving?"
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Oh he's definitely thinking this. What makes it so hard is that each individual reason he has (like the above) make sense - he's my logic/engineer dude. But taken all together I don't think "we" are serving the greater good by doing nothing. And the flowery, flighty, emotional me can't take my eyes off how sick my kids are. We're a perfect couple in that we balance each other (but it drives me crazy )
I've gotten a little more "mama bear" lately. Granted, the "sickness" is subtle and not severe. But it's all there and I feel I must do something... except my hands are tied. And we've been "thinking of moving for 10 years, and *seriously* looking for 3. At this rate and with the above logic, my kids will be grown and gone before anything happens...or sicker, and I don't want either to happen.
CrunchyMom wrote:
Yes, though, by my way of thinking, if you to invest the money to fix the floors, you will find the perfect house
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Exactly!
__________________ Amy
mom of 5, ages 6-16, and happy wife of
The Highly Sensitive Homeschooler
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hylabrook1 Forum Moderator
Joined: July 09 2006
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Posted: Jan 05 2012 at 3:22pm | IP Logged
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Oh, dear, Amy! You absolutely have my prayers. You are coping with a lot of things on an ongoing basis, and it does get to be too much. I empathize.
Peace,
Nancy
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SuzanneG Forum Moderator
Joined: June 17 2006 Location: Idaho
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Posted: Jan 05 2012 at 10:46pm | IP Logged
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Praying for you Amy....keeping this intention in the forefront! my dear friend.
__________________ Suzanne in ID
Wife to Pete
Mom of 7 (Girls - 14, 12, 11, 9, 7 and Boys - 4, 1)
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Willa Forum All-Star
Joined: Jan 28 2005 Location: California
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Posted: Jan 05 2012 at 11:01pm | IP Logged
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Praying Amy!
I know how you feel, wanting to do the best thing for your children. It can be so hard to face these kind of logistical obstacles! Praying that God's best will be done in this and that you have peace and comfort!
__________________ AMDG
Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
Take Up and Read
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folklaur Forum All-Star
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Posted: Jan 06 2012 at 12:58am | IP Logged
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