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10 Bright Stars Forum All-Star


Joined: Nov 16 2006 Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline Posts: 728
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| Posted: June 20 2011 at 5:43pm | IP Logged
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To try to express the prayer request...Perhaps only an adult child of an alcoholic and an adult child of divorce will understand. My Mom came over here today, and said, "Well, I saw your Dad at the high school reunion today and I felt SO sorry for him. No one sat by him at all, he sat alone and I didn't see anyone even talk to him. And, I heard two people's comments, one person said, "Here comes trouble, and the other one said, "Here comes the weirdo." Now, yes, my Dad was an alcoholic, yes, my Dad has manic -depressive tendencies which led him to make some bad choices in life, yes, my Dad has been a bit of a womanizer etc. etc. So, he is a troubled guy who has made mistakes and in some cases, continues to cross boundaries. (mainly with his "colorful" way of looking at the world. But, he is still MY Dad. I cannot tell you the sorrow and horror I felt at thinking about my Dad sitting at a table....alone. I cannot tell you how much that wounded me. I have always felt a profound pity and sadness when it comes to my Dad, the divorce...always trying to hide my emotions from them when I was little because I was afraid they would suffer more if they saw me suffer so I cried alone..even though I was very little. Trying to "sell" my mom and dad to their "new" prospective spouses and trying to be fun, "good", and all that stuff. Sad because I can never go "home" although God has blessed me IMMENSELY with my own beautiful family. And then today, when I felt so shocked with sadness for him. There was no one, no one that would sympathize. No one that I could say to, "Wow. This really hurts." Perhaps an over reaction really to something that isn't evven that bad possibly??? My husband, sick of seeing me sad about him over the years, tries to sympathize, but in the end, the underlying sentiment that is always there is..."Well he deserves it...or well, he made his choices now he is paying for them." But, he is still my Dad, and it still hurts to think of him sitting there, alone, and people talking like that about him. So, I don't even know what to pray for, and I offered up the suffering I felt about him FOR him. What else is there to do.
__________________ Kim married to Bob (22y)
Mom of 11 blessings:
Bobby 19, David 17, Noah 14,
Mary 12, Gracie 10,
Isabelle and Sophia 8,
Gabrielle 6,
William Anthony 4, Joseph 3 and Luisa Marie - born in M
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Mimip Forum All-Star


Joined: Feb 17 2009 Location: Florida
Online Status: Offline Posts: 1526
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| Posted: June 20 2011 at 6:02pm | IP Logged
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Oh Kim,
Such pain and sorrow . I know how you feel in so many different but similar ways. Please know you and your Mom and Dad will be in my prayers.
__________________ In Christ,
Mimi
Wife of 16 years to Tom, Mom of DD'00, DD'02, '04(in heaven) DS'05, DS'08 and DS '12
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kristinannie Forum All-Star


Joined: Jan 27 2011 Location: West Virginia
Online Status: Offline Posts: 1363
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| Posted: June 20 2011 at 9:14pm | IP Logged
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I am so sorry. I know how much that has to hurt you. Of course you love your dad despite his faults. I'm sure you wish that he could turn his life around, but you still love him.
__________________ John Paul 8.5
Meredith Rose 7
Dominic Michael 4.5
Katherine Elizabeth 8 months
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guitarnan Forum Moderator


Joined: Feb 07 2005 Location: Maryland
Online Status: Offline Posts: 10883
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| Posted: June 20 2011 at 9:49pm | IP Logged
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I think you are a wonderful daughter for loving your father and wanting the best for him. If I may suggest something, perhaps praying for those people at the reunion might ease your heart a little, and it would surely help them as well. It's something very positive you can do for your father...because some people never try to see the good in others, while other people, like you, recognize that even with our flaws, we are all children of God. If you don't mind, I will pray for those people who avoided your father and ask that they have a change of heart.
__________________ Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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cathhomeschool Board Moderator

Texas Bluebonnets
Joined: Jan 26 2005 Location: Texas
Online Status: Offline Posts: 7303
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| Posted: June 20 2011 at 11:30pm | IP Logged
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No words of wisdom but many prayers for you, your dad, for the others at the reunion (as Nancy suggested) and for much healing. Holy Spirit, come!
__________________ Janette (4 boys - 22, 21, 15, 14)
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shineblue Forum Pro

Joined: June 24 2010
Online Status: Offline Posts: 246
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| Posted: June 21 2011 at 1:55am | IP Logged
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Praying for this very special intention
__________________ Marcia
ds12, dd9, dd6, dd3
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mariB Forum All-Star


Joined: Dec 20 2006 Location: Vermont
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| Posted: June 21 2011 at 4:57am | IP Logged
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Dear Kim, praying for him and for all of his needs... For healing, for the Holy Spirit to intervene. And praying for your compassionate and loving heart!
__________________ marib-Mother to 22ds,21ds,18ds,15dd,11dd and wife to an amazing man for 23 years
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Ruth Forum All-Star


Joined: Nov 04 2006 Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline Posts: 5007
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| Posted: June 21 2011 at 6:33am | IP Logged
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I'm so sorry, Kim. I don't have any words of wisdom, but I can sympathize with your pain- the divorce, the drinking, the womanizing. My dad is gone, but I miss him terribly and I know you love your dad so much. You are such an amazing and loving daughter. I wish there was something I could say that would ease your pain. I will offer many prayers for you and your beloved dad. Call me when you get a chance if you want to talk. I miss you.
__________________ Ruth
mom to 7 miracles
My family blog
Loreto Rosaries
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10 Bright Stars Forum All-Star


Joined: Nov 16 2006 Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline Posts: 728
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| Posted: June 21 2011 at 7:56am | IP Logged
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Thank you all for your prayers. I cannot tell you what a balm it was for me to hear words of comfort and understanding, but also to know that you holy women are praying for him. I cannot thank you enough. His name is Bert.
__________________ Kim married to Bob (22y)
Mom of 11 blessings:
Bobby 19, David 17, Noah 14,
Mary 12, Gracie 10,
Isabelle and Sophia 8,
Gabrielle 6,
William Anthony 4, Joseph 3 and Luisa Marie - born in M
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10 Bright Stars Forum All-Star


Joined: Nov 16 2006 Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline Posts: 728
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| Posted: June 21 2011 at 7:56am | IP Logged
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Thank you, Ruth. You are a very dear and wonderful person and friend.
__________________ Kim married to Bob (22y)
Mom of 11 blessings:
Bobby 19, David 17, Noah 14,
Mary 12, Gracie 10,
Isabelle and Sophia 8,
Gabrielle 6,
William Anthony 4, Joseph 3 and Luisa Marie - born in M
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10 Bright Stars Forum All-Star


Joined: Nov 16 2006 Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline Posts: 728
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| Posted: June 21 2011 at 7:59am | IP Logged
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Oh, and yes, praying for the people is a great idea. My Mom too since perhaps in some ways, she trys to validate her decision for leaving him all those years ago, although no one I know blames her in anyway due to the circumstances, but perhaps she is still wounded and questioning her choice?
__________________ Kim married to Bob (22y)
Mom of 11 blessings:
Bobby 19, David 17, Noah 14,
Mary 12, Gracie 10,
Isabelle and Sophia 8,
Gabrielle 6,
William Anthony 4, Joseph 3 and Luisa Marie - born in M
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Grace&Chaos Forum All-Star


Joined: June 07 2010 Location: California
Online Status: Offline Posts: 1261
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| Posted: June 21 2011 at 8:52am | IP Logged
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Kim, praying for your dad, your mom, and you .
This is very hard. My dad has been sober for over 20 years now, but their choices and lifestyle seem to affect them forever. I pray for him all the time and for my mother who endured and stayed with him through it all.
We are not responsible for their choices. We can only be good children and show them compassion and offer our prayers.
__________________ Blessings,
Jenny
Mom to dds(00,03) and dss(05,06,08,09)
Grace in Loving Chaos
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*Lindsey* Forum Pro

Joined: May 22 2009
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| Posted: June 21 2011 at 11:40am | IP Logged
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Praying, Kim!
__________________ Lindsey
Mama to DS (11), DD(9), twin dds(7), DD (5), DS (4), DS (3), and 5 angels in heaven.
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Grateful in VA Forum Pro

Joined: Oct 22 2010
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| Posted: June 21 2011 at 3:02pm | IP Logged
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Praying for your intentions.
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Chris V Forum All-Star


Joined: Dec 03 2009 Location: Washington
Online Status: Offline Posts: 1598
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| Posted: June 21 2011 at 5:27pm | IP Logged
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Offering my prayers as well, Kim
__________________ Chris
Happy Wife with my Happy Life
Mama to My Five Girls ('04~'07~'09~'11~'11)
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Mackfam Board Moderator

Non Nobis
Joined: April 24 2006 Location: Alabama
Online Status: Offline Posts: 14656
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| Posted: June 22 2011 at 6:22am | IP Logged
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Kim,
I've been thinking of you so much since you posted your prayer request...and thinking of and praying for your most sincere intentions for your dad and mom. May Our Lord, who makes all things new, bring His grace and mercy to your heart and to your parents, offering the peace that surpasses all understanding.
What a beautiful and pleasing heart you have to so tenderly bring a parent, wounded as we all are, to us so that we could pray. I'm privileged to be able to pray for you and with you - in Him.
__________________ Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19 , ds 16 , ds 11 , dd 8 , and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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stellamaris Forum All-Star

Joined: Feb 26 2009 Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline Posts: 2732
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| Posted: June 22 2011 at 6:53am | IP Logged
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Praying here, Kim.
__________________ In Christ,
Caroline
Wife to dh 30+ yrs,ds's 83,85,89,dd's 91,95,ds's 01,01,02,grammy to 4
Flowing Streams
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