Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.



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Vanna
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Posted: Sept 16 2010 at 12:03pm | IP Logged Quote Vanna

I haven't been here for quite some time (I used to occasionally post but was more of a lurker). I have to admit that I have been a bit afraid to give an update. I made some HUGELY bad decisions over the last year. Decisions that I cannot take back. I had a tubal w/ the Novasure procedure. I had awful periods and let myself be talked into this procedure without giving it much thought...and no prayer. I can see now that I was depressed when I agreed to this. My husband and I were going through a tough time and he basically just wanted me happy again...he said if this would help with the periods and the debilitating PMS and I should do it. We both regret it. I've been told there is absolutely no way to reverse the Novasure procedure and to get pregnant would definitely result in a miscarriage and possibly death.

I cry so often about this. I think if I could just go back and walk out of that ob/gyns office when she was pressing for this...if only, if only...sigh.

Now, I have gained 30 lbs and am losing all of my hair. I feel as though I am being punished. I am sure that I deserve it. I just don't know what to do...when there is nothing that I can do.

I'm guess I am just asking for prayers. Thank you.

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Paula in MN
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Posted: Sept 16 2010 at 12:15pm | IP Logged Quote Paula in MN

Vanna,

Our Lord is not punishing you. I had a hysterectomy years ago, for health reasons. I prayed many times, before and after, and I know it was the right decision. I still have many "what if" moments. I'm praying for you.

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hylabrook1
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Posted: Sept 16 2010 at 12:56pm | IP Logged Quote hylabrook1

Vanna please don't be so hard on yourself. We all do things we later wish we hadn't. I am praying for you.

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guitarnan
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Posted: Sept 16 2010 at 1:22pm | IP Logged Quote guitarnan

Vanna, you are a child of God and He loves you so very dearly. You are not being punished. Please know I'm praying for you...

...and please consider going back to your doctor for some help with your weight issues and hair loss. These are signs that all is not well, and you owe it to yourself to see what is causing them.



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MaryM
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Posted: Sept 16 2010 at 1:36pm | IP Logged Quote MaryM

Offering my prayers, too, for you, Vanna.

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Posted: Sept 16 2010 at 2:04pm | IP Logged Quote LucyP

Vanna, one of the hardest things for us to understand is God's amazing mercy. Remember the Prodigal Son, who willfully and deliberately took the money and wasted it, disrespecting his father in every way, and yet the minute the father saw him returning all raggedy, hungry, ashamed and empty, he didn't purse his lips and say "hmmmm, no more than he deserved" - he RAN to hold him and love him. God forgives us so completely and beautifully, and would not punish you for this. It sounds as if it was a choice that you regret, were not wholly accountable for, and have repented of - have you been to confession? Then it is forgiven! I pray you can forgive yourself and allow yourself time to heal and grieve, and know yourself to be wholly loved and forgiven by God.
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DominaCaeli
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Posted: Sept 16 2010 at 2:38pm | IP Logged Quote DominaCaeli

Praying for you, Vanna.

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Posted: Sept 16 2010 at 3:07pm | IP Logged Quote aussieannie

So sorry to hear of your suffering Vanna...place this sorrow at the feet of Our Lady and do not hand it to the devil, he wants you to ~ allow God to draw good now from this deep suffering, we only have to look at the example of holy penitents in our Church to know that grace can come from mistakes if we only allow Him.

Praying for you!

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mariB
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Posted: Sept 16 2010 at 3:27pm | IP Logged Quote mariB

Dear Vanna praying for you right now...you are a very special child of God. God loves you so much. May you feel his great compassion and love for you right now.

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organiclilac
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Posted: Sept 16 2010 at 3:39pm | IP Logged Quote organiclilac

Praying for you!   

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Kathryn
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Posted: Sept 16 2010 at 4:24pm | IP Logged Quote Kathryn

Praying for you Vanna. Lucy's asking about going to confession and Annie's note about not handing it to the devil and allowing God now to do good through this are is excellent recommendations.    that you can find peace.

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Booksnbabes
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Posted: Sept 16 2010 at 4:29pm | IP Logged Quote Booksnbabes

Vanna, so sorry to hear of this suffering. Remember there is nothing the Divine Physician cannot heal! May you find peace in the sacraments, and as Nancy said, please seek assistance for what you are experiencing. It does seem as if all is not well.

Offered my Divine Mercy chaplet for you this day and will continue to keep you in prayer.   

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Marie
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Posted: Sept 16 2010 at 4:37pm | IP Logged Quote Marie

Praying for you!

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Erin
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Posted: Sept 16 2010 at 4:51pm | IP Logged Quote Erin

Vanna

Our Lord's love is immense, He loves you so much

You really do need to go back to the doctor re your health issues.

Praying

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insegnante
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Posted: Sept 16 2010 at 5:51pm | IP Logged Quote insegnante

And Vanna, are there any NFP-only doctors around? Or maybe failing that you could at least get recommendations for NFP-friendly doctors? I am thinking of reducing the risk of being brushed off if you suspect you are having problems as a result of this procedure. omsoul.com has this page for Kansas: http://onemoresoul.com/nfpbyst

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Grace&Chaos
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Posted: Sept 16 2010 at 6:13pm | IP Logged Quote Grace&Chaos

Vanna, breaks my heart to hear your sorrow. I'm praying for you. Please do follow up on your ailments, sounds similar to a friends issues and I believe it was related to thyroid problems. Our Lord is always with you!

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Posted: Sept 16 2010 at 6:27pm | IP Logged Quote Maggie

Vanna,

Please contact the Pope Paul VI Institute in Omaha, NE. They work long distance with patients, too.

They will be able to give you a more accurate prognosis. I wouldn't trust a doctor who is not NFP only/faithful to the Magisterium in regards to fertility. That's just me...

Dr. Hilgers is the head of the Institute and is tremendously gifted in the arena of surgery and hormonal therapies.

While he may or may not be able to reverse the procedure (and I know you have been told it is impossible, but PLEASE run it by Dr. Hilgers first), he can help you with your hormonal imbalances.

Everything he does is within the framework of the Magisterium. He has such tremendous success in helping women just feel "whole" again--not just from a fertility perspective--but from the perspective of dignity. He has helped many women who have coped with horrid PMS and depression...many don't realize how physiological this condition is.

Please contact the PPVI. There is absolutely no charge to speak with a nurse--ever. I have only ever been charged for medication. They are so wonderful and compassionate.

1-402-390-6600

I will certainly pray for you.

Please PM me if you have any questions about the PPVI. I have been working with them for almost 4 years now. :)

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Michaela
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Posted: Sept 16 2010 at 6:49pm | IP Logged Quote Michaela

Praying for you, Vanna!

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Angie Mc
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Posted: Sept 16 2010 at 8:59pm | IP Logged Quote Angie Mc

It is good to see you, Vanna . There have been many times when I have felt punished by God. Whether I'm being punished or not, I find consolation in this and similar thoughts from Trustful Surrender to Divine Providence:
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...as a father unwillingly punishes a son he loves dearly only because he is obliged to do so for his son's good, so God treats us as noble beings for whom He has the highest regard, or as beloved children whom he chastises because he loves them.


"Trials and punishments are blessings from God and proof of His Mercy." I am praying for you mightily during this most difficult time.

Love,

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Posted: Sept 16 2010 at 9:08pm | IP Logged Quote 4 lads mom

I ditto everything these wonderful, loving ladies have said, Vanna. I bet if we were all with you in person, we would take turns hugging you and wiping your tears, (and our’s, as we cry right along with you). There are very few of us who have made it through this culture without our own Mary Magdalene moments. I can assure you I have plenty of my own....but look who Jesus chose to reveal Himself to first, after His Resurrection....Mary Magdalene. Hold on to that truth, Vanna....hold on to it tightly. Go to Confession, embrace those Sacraments, they are your lifeline!!! Know that we all are praying for you, and love you as our Sister in Christ.!!
ps--please get some help for your symptoms....they are probably hormonal in nature....and ditto what Maggie said, I talked to one of their nurse practitioners before my hysterectomy, and she was wonderful!!! Please, keep us updated,   okay??

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