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Tina P.
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| Posted: May 28 2009 at 9:14am | IP Logged
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It seems selfish to ask for prayers for this, but I don't know where else to turn. Ever since the recession hit us, we haven't been able to get completely on our feet and we've been knocked down again by something breaking or one of the kids needing something. I hear the constant mantra, "Just don't buy anything for two weeks." I'm afraid to buy groceries, much less school items.  And I like to prepare ahead of time.
We've discussed my taking a part-time job outside the home or my husband taking on a second job, but it just seems impossible. My little one is already habitually waking up in the middle of the night crying for me. And then trying to home school 8 children during the day and go to a job at night? When? After I put them to bed? Anyway, the stress it would cause would outweigh the money I would bring in, considering that the last time I worked in any capacity was 1996!
We have so many blessings. I realize this. We have a lovely house eight healthy children. It's just a matter of being able to afford these things.
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Tina, wife to one and mom to 9 + 3 in heaven
Mary's Muse
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Taffy
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| Posted: May 28 2009 at 9:35am | IP Logged
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I hear you, Tina. I've had many similar thoughts over the years (although not as many children  ). Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
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Susan
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Mackfam
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| Posted: May 28 2009 at 9:46am | IP Logged
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Oh, Tina!  to you! This is a heavy, heavy burden so many families are facing right now! I am praying for your family!!!
I am an unabashed sanguine  so my first reaction is always one of, "how can I make this bleak situation, HAPPY?" Would it be ok if I brainstormed a few happy ideas with you? I wish I were there to bring over a casserole and sit down and chat over a cup of tea...so can I bring a digital cup of tea and my sanguine personality and Pollyanna some ideas with you?
**Decide that this is an adventure and start some lists...make lists of free activities available in the community - concerts in the park, a walk in a greenspace you haven't visited before, movies at the library, a drive to nowhere ( an explanation - my kids and I LOVE this! It started...ahem  ...after a wrong turn and it ended in an adventure and a family tradition to just head towards parts unknown and see what kind of neat things there are to see)
**Make lists of fun things to do at home - gather the kids and just brainstorm...water play with the hose, fingerpainting, homemade playdough, movie night at home with popcorn, favorite family board games.
**Spruce a few rooms up and see what you find in the process...books you haven't seen in a while, toys long buried under the couch that are new again (not that I'd know anything about this!)
**Get out the cookie cutters and cut fun shapes into frugal sandwiches like grill cheese...makes them fun and exciting instead of the 98th way to eat cheese and leftover bread.
**Since food is often the only thing coming into the house out of necessity - try to make it fun - go through your cupboards and get crazy in the kitchen with bread and beans!  Serve bananas on your nice china with a drizzle of yogurt...looks yummier that way!
**Go through your bookshelves and pull out some read alouds you haven't read in some time and start reading again.
For the practicals...
**Plan a date night with your husband and sit down and discuss the sad state of the finances. Brainstorm together ways you can help him save. My husband feels the burden of providing for our family so keenly and when he feels like we're a team and I'm working with him on my end to help he says he feels bolstered and supported and the load doesn't seem so heavy...and meeting the obligations doesn't seem so impossible. I know you're doing this already! But, sometimes it just helps to make an evening out of it - even if you have to pour water with a splash of lemon in your wine glasses! Get a plan on paper if you can, break it into small, livable increments, and buckle down together and live it.
Ok...I'll stop giving happy-pills for advice. I hope it was ok to brainstorm with you, Tina. You probably know every bit of this already, but I know when life is coming at you from every conceivable angle we sometimes forget everything we knew and just start to function in survival mode. I'm not sure why this all spilled out...probably because it's on my mind as well!
Lots of prayers coming your way!
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Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19 , ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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Mackfam
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| Posted: May 28 2009 at 9:58am | IP Logged
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Adding one more thought...my mom sent me the link to the Allison family, a family of 12 (10 children) who lost everything in the financial downturn of 08. They have published a book of their journey to encourage others - A Mountain to Climb.
I haven't read the book yet, but I thought of you and wanted to mention it (it doesn't appear to be written from a Catholic standpoint, but a Christian one)...perhaps you could ask your parish to purchase the book for the parish library and you could offer to review it for them? There are so many struggling in this way right now, it seems like their story is one of such encouragement and trust in God. Just throwing it out there. 
**Edited to add that the Allison family is a homeschooling family, and I should clarify that I don't know if the family is Catholic or not...I need to get my copy in and read the book first! I just don't want to mis-represent them before I've read it.**
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Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19, ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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Carole N.
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| Posted: May 28 2009 at 10:01am | IP Logged
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Praying for you and your family, Tina. These are tough times for so many now. And Jen has so many great ideas! I am taking notes as well.
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Carole ... in Wales
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Mackfam
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| Posted: May 28 2009 at 10:05am | IP Logged
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I'm back and I'll stop now I promise!!!
I wanted to mention this thread on frugal living ideas that is a goldmine!
Ok...back to praying, Tina...and I am!
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Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19, ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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Tina P.
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| Posted: May 28 2009 at 10:44am | IP Logged
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Mackfam wrote:
| I hope it was ok to brainstorm with you, Tina. |
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Yeah, that was OK. But where's the TEA!?!? We are going on a hike next Friday to a place we've never been. The library's, unfortunately, NEVER free to us. Late fees and hits for books they claim we ruin  have set us off the library path.
And Jennifer, we've had beans so many ways in the past few months we could fuel a small country with natural gas!
I'm half sanguine half choleric. The latter provides the impetus to want to DO something to improve our situation. The sanguine part allowed me to float along for several months without complaint and to do many of the things you suggested.
Looming large in the near future is that I want to enroll two of my children in MODG High School ***Cha-ching!!!*** Beyond that, when we went on a quite frugal vacation down to St. George, friends of ours tore our 70's wallpaper down from kitchen, front and back hallways, stairways, upstairs hall, and family room. That was wonderful, but now we have to paint those spaces!
My kids are currently having tea time with peanut butter and drizzled chocolate Graham Crackers prepared by my 8 yo. My 13 yog will read Little House in the Big Woods aloud as they snack on the back porch.
Sounds idyllic, doesn't it? And truly, we don't have anything to complain about. I guess I just worry.
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Tina, wife to one and mom to 9 + 3 in heaven
Mary's Muse
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Tina P.
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Oh, and one other thing. A good outcome of this is that our children are realizing that their parents are not ATM machines constantly spitting out money. We were at the grocery story the other day and I had to say "no" not only to things they wanted, but even to a treat I regularly get myself (I like to carry mints in my purse ... one of the lesser known things about me ).
Not only that, but my humility was severly tested when I did not have enough cash on me. I garnered what money I could from the older kids, but when we still fell short a lady flew from another line to press $5.00 in my hands. She said, "I've been there before." I was so embarrassed! I never even had a chance to thank her.
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Tina, wife to one and mom to 9 + 3 in heaven
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Booksnbabes
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Praying!
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Wife to wonderful DH, mom to SIX beautiful gifts from God!
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Waverley
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Mackfam wrote:
**Plan a date night with your husband and sit down and discuss the sad state of the finances. Brainstorm together ways you can help him save. My husband feels the burden of providing for our family so keenly and when he feels like we're a team and I'm working with him on my end to help he says he feels bolstered and supported and the load doesn't seem so heavy...and meeting the obligations doesn't seem so impossible. |
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This is such wonderful advice!! I know my husband feels this way and at the same time I am stressed to meet my obligations as a steward of our resources. I think its time for a team meeting!!
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Waverley
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mellyrose
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Praying, Tina! I truly know how hard it is, and can empathize with the groceries as well! I love those angels that suddenly appear (like your grocery line angel) and try to do the same when I'm able :)
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Melanie in AZ
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stellamaris
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Praying to St. Joseph for you and your family, Tina.
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Caroline
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aussieannie
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Praying for you Tina, from one sanguine-choleric to another, I understand what's running through your head in trying to face and deal with this crisis, praying that things will improve and this awful stress relieved!
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Donna Marie
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{{{{HUGS}}}}
I am there. I could have written your post. Somehow, someway we had unexpected money every month for the last year whenever we needed it. There are things we still NEED to pay for (mucho medical expenses including a trip to urgent care and then right to the ER for my dh's heart...wonder why..) and we really can't. I am going to send them all whatever little I can and hope that is good enough for now. My dh is looking and looking for a second job. We have become pros at bargain shopping which around here is HARD to do. We pray a lot.
I know I can't work as it is hard enough to do what I do homeschooling our 7children plus nursing a little one much less trying to work for someone else. The kids are telling us they want to help but we feel weird about that but might have to do that for at least the short term. I feel weird about that for several reasons and one of them being that my twins have a few processing issues that makes it hard for them to make change fast or spell well and they are only 15. decisions...decisions....
I will pray extra hard for you and your intentions. "Mary Undoer of knots pray for us! Mary take over!"
...sent with a prayer!
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Donna Marie from NJ
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KC in TX
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Praying for you all.
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KC,
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wifemommy
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Praying for you and your family with complete empathy....-Annie
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Michaela
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Lifting your family in prayer.
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Michaela
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mariB
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Praying for your family...we are there too...and it such a cross to bear but we have so many blessings. Praying hard for you all and for all families in this situation!
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marib-Mother to 22ds,21ds,18ds,15dd,11dd and wife to an amazing man for 23 years
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4 lads mom
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Praying, Tina....we have so been there, I can really, really empathize! One day at a time.....
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Ruth
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I'm praying for you, Tina.
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Ruth
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4Real Forums : We Pray to the Lord
Topic: Our finances
