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folklaur Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2005 Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline Posts: 2816
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Posted: Aug 07 2008 at 10:24am | IP Logged
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I am feeling bad. This is going to be whiny. I apologize.
I hate it here.
I miss my church, I miss my mother & brother, I miss my friends, the Catholic Homeschooling group here is not welcoming or friendly unless you live in the right zip code and attend the right parish, and I WANT TO GO HOME!
But this *is* home.
My marriage is starting to hurt (and it is my fault because I am hurting.) He kept saying how he was lonely when we were in AZ and he was here - but not lonely like this. He loves his job. He gets to go everyday, and he is friends with his co-workers (they carpool, they play cards & games on breaks, he has ADULTS TO TALK TO!) I can't even go outside.
I can not leave my stupid neighborhood because everytime I get to the light at the end of the street I have a full blown panic attack.
My IBS/Anxiety is horrific. I can't drive. Hah! Drive? I have trouble WALKING TO THE MAILBOX w/o having a panic episode.
I have been having a weird pain in my leg similar to when I had the DVT - which isn't helping my nerves any - but getting to a dr. would actually require leaving the house and having a doctor.
I feel like I just want to resign, to say, Okay, I give up, I am done, can it please stop hurting to be me now?
On the upside....the weather is better here.
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joann10 Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 10 2007
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Posted: Aug 07 2008 at 10:46am | IP Logged
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Sending many, many prayers your way!!
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Vanna Forum Pro
Joined: May 09 2008 Location: Kansas
Online Status: Offline Posts: 331
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Posted: Aug 07 2008 at 11:32am | IP Logged
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((hugs))
I know how awful panic attacks can be. I'm so sorry that you are going through that and the other issues too. I will pray for you. Have you thought about talking to your doc about anxiety medication? Please consider it if you haven't already.
((hugs))
__________________ Wife to K Mommy to B (ds18) and G (ds8)
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Michaela Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 25 2005 Location: Washington
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Posted: Aug 07 2008 at 11:46am | IP Logged
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Continued prayers, Laura.
__________________ Michaela
Momma to Nicholas 16, Nathan 13, Olivia 13, Teresa 6, & Anthony 3
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MaryM Board Moderator
Joined: Feb 11 2005 Location: Colorado
Online Status: Offline Posts: 13104
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Posted: Aug 07 2008 at 12:31pm | IP Logged
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Praying mightily for you, Laura.
__________________ Mary M. in Denver
Our Domestic Church
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amyable Forum All-Star
Joined: March 07 2005
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Posted: Aug 07 2008 at 2:56pm | IP Logged
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Praying, praying, praying!
__________________ Amy
mom of 5, ages 6-16, and happy wife of
The Highly Sensitive Homeschooler
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KC in TX Forum All-Star
Joined: Aug 05 2005 Location: Texas
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Posted: Aug 07 2008 at 3:05pm | IP Logged
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Praying, Laura.
__________________ KC,
wife to Ben (10/94),
Mama to LB ('98)
Michaela ('01)
Emma ('03)
Jordan ('05)
And, my 2 angels, Rose ('08) and Mark ('09)
The Cabbage Patch
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teachingmyown Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 20 2005 Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline Posts: 5128
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Posted: Aug 07 2008 at 3:07pm | IP Logged
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Prayers and hugs!
__________________ In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
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Philothea Forum All-Star
Joined: Aug 15 2006 Location: Virginia
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Posted: Aug 07 2008 at 3:32pm | IP Logged
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Oh, that sounds awful. I am praying for you.
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Mary G Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2005 Location: Virginia
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Posted: Aug 07 2008 at 4:07pm | IP Logged
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Laura .... give it time,honey! Pray for a few new friends, folks at church, etc. Y'all haven't been there that long yet and sometimes it takes time. Use this time to revel in those kiddoes and being with dh when he's not at work. Look to do things that you can only do where you are .... different types of nature studies, go see the shows in LV, etc.
Praying that all works out and that this is the nadir and you'll start the climb back to loving where you are and who you're with.
__________________ MaryG
3 boys (22, 12, 8)2 girls (20, 11)
my website that combines my schooling, hand-knits work, writing and everything else in one spot!
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hylabrook1 Forum Moderator
Joined: July 09 2006
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Posted: Aug 07 2008 at 4:11pm | IP Logged
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Laura -
Moves and adjustments are tough! I"m praying Aves for you. Somehow the thought just came to me: How did the Holy Family deal with that move to Egypt?
Peace,
Nancy
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Booksnbabes Forum All-Star
Joined: July 20 2008 Location: N/A
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Posted: Aug 07 2008 at 4:47pm | IP Logged
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Just and lots of prayers for you!
__________________ Wife to wonderful DH, mom to SIX beautiful gifts from God!
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Lisa R Forum All-Star
Joined: May 29 2005 Location: Ohio
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Posted: Aug 07 2008 at 4:59pm | IP Logged
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Oh, Laura, I'm so sorry your feeling so bad. I know so well what you're going through. So well. Please know that I will most definitely pray for you.
__________________ God Bless!
Lisa, married to my best friend, Ray and loving my blessings Joshua (17)and Jacob(15), Hannah(7) and Rachel (5)!Holy Family Academy
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mama251ders Forum All-Star
Joined: Oct 21 2007 Location: Michigan
Online Status: Offline Posts: 508
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Posted: Aug 07 2008 at 5:31pm | IP Logged
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Oh, Laura, I'm praying for you. It's awful to feel this way.
Hugs,
Betsie
__________________ Wife to Oliver
Mama to 5 Wonders
Benny, Braidon, Olivia, Anna and Saragh
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cathhomeschool Board Moderator
Texas Bluebonnets
Joined: Jan 26 2005 Location: Texas
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Posted: Aug 07 2008 at 5:41pm | IP Logged
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Wow, Laura! I can really feel your suffering! I am so sorry that you're going through all of this anxiety and wish that I could give you some tangible help.
When I read your prayer request, what instantly came to mind was to suggest that you *constantly* turn all of this over to the Lord. Every single time you start to feel anxious or even think that you *might* feel anxious, let it all go. Think of it as a river flowing past, or a dandelion whose seeds you've just blown into the wind -- whatever imagery brings you peace and a feeling of release. Think of our Mother squeezing you tight in her arms. Breathe deeply and trust. I know that you can't rationalize away a panic attack. That's impossible. Perhaps if you accept more and more that you are not in control -- none of us is because our Father who loves us deeply and guides us constantly is in control -- you can come to peace and the anxiety will start to go away.
I am praying for you every day! May God give you strength and peace and joy.
__________________ Janette (4 boys - 22, 21, 15, 14)
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jdostalik Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 15 2005 Location: Texas
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Posted: Aug 07 2008 at 5:55pm | IP Logged
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Oh Laura! Your post makes me so sad for you. Everyone has given you such good advice, that I will just pray. But I also ask, is there anyone on the message board close to Laura? It would be nice if she could have a friend in the area already! Much love to you and prayers....
__________________ God Bless,
Jennifer in TX
wife to Bill, mom to six here on earth and eight in heaven.
Let the Little Ones Come
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folklaur Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2005 Location: N/A
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Posted: Aug 07 2008 at 6:37pm | IP Logged
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Thanks everyone. Knowing you are all there for me does make it better.
Nope, no one lives near me now...I used to live near Angie & Melanie.
Again, thank you for all the prayers, it is so very appreciated.
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marianne Forum Pro
Joined: Feb 22 2006 Location: N/A
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Posted: Aug 07 2008 at 6:42pm | IP Logged
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Praying for you, Laura. I'm so sorry you're having a hard time.
__________________ \
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mellyrose Forum All-Star
Joined: May 12 2006
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Posted: Aug 07 2008 at 7:34pm | IP Logged
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Laura, I'm holding you in prayer.
__________________ Melanie in AZ
Colin (11/00), Nate (05/02), Lydia (04/07)
My Little Patch of Sunshine
Pictures of our Life
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teachingmom Forum All-Star
Virginia Bluebells
Joined: Feb 16 2005 Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline Posts: 2120
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Posted: Aug 07 2008 at 10:27pm | IP Logged
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Praying for you, Laura! I am so sorry you have this cross to bear right now.
__________________ ~Irene (Mom to 6 girls, ages 7-19)
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