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St. Ann
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| Posted: Feb 01 2007 at 1:25pm | IP Logged
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Dd1, who is 10, just asked me if she could wear mascara to a class party tomorrow afternoon. Her 5th grade class made a class trip 3 mos. ago, where she did try it out. She stressed how beautiful she looks with it and how her friends all praised her.....
(gulp....deep breath....gather confidence...)
I told her - no. She is 10 yrs old and very beautiful as she is, she does not need to look like a 15 yr old.
She begged. I persisted.
but....I need some support on this, because she too is persistent and will need some more valid arguments.
How do you handle this issue with your daughters?
At what age do they wear makeup? What are your reasons?
She always surprises me with questions that I am not prepared for. I had never really thought about it before.
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Stephanie
Wife and mother to Hannah '96, Maria '99, Dorothea '01, Helena '03
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guitarnan
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| Posted: Feb 01 2007 at 1:31pm | IP Logged
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I let my dd (now 9) wear eyeshadow and blush for dance recitals. Sometimes I let her "play" with my eyeshadow, but I try hard to do this when we're not going out. I tell her often that she has such beautiful skin (because she's a young lady) that she has no need for makeup which would hide that beauty.
I'm lucky, dd will never need mascara, as her eyelashes are dark like mine. (I only wear it to formal parties. It makes my eyes itch.)
I have told my dd that it's not appropriate for young ladies of her age to wear makeup (and repeated the naturally beautiful argument, as above).
Sigh. They try so hard to grow up...you're in my prayers.
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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Paula in MN
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My dd7 always wants to wear it, in part because she sees my dd23 wearing it.
My answer to her is always no. I tell her that she has to wait to vote, wait to drive a car, and she will have to wait to wear makeup.
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 Paula
A Catholic Harvest
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MrsKey
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| Posted: Feb 01 2007 at 3:15pm | IP Logged
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DD is 10 and our rule is (in general though I've made two notable exceptions):
No make up (aside from chapstick/lipgloss) out of the house (except for dance recitals/plays/skate competitions) until she is 15. Period.
The two notable exceptions were a Captain's dinner on a cruise ship and a fancy party for my grandmother's birthday. But in each of those instances she was allowed to wear a very pale pink shimmery eye shadow and lip gloss. No foundation, no blush, no eyeliner, no mascara and no lipstick.
She has some moisturizing lip balms that are a bit shiny and very lightly tinted that I let her wear (keeps her from picking at dry lips or chewing on her lips). But since I rarely if ever wear make-up I don't see a need to allow her to wear make-up.
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Carole
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JodieLyn
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What would the purpose be? What is the purpose for anyone to wear it?
I was allowed to wear it at 13. And just from my experience I really think allowing it too soon will contribute to an attitude of "I don't look nice/pretty unless I have my make up on" how soon that is will depend on the girl.
I do think kids need help not taking on "grown up" attitudes and practices too soon... how else do we get clothing in the stores for 6 and 7 year olds that is designed to be "sexy".. if we step back a bit we can see how rediculous some of these things are.
I'm always struck in how Louisa May Alcott's books address this.. her main characters that are "little girls" at 13-15 and the secondary characters that are "fashionable" and pretending to grown up ways and mores at even younger ages. Makes you think.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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St. Ann
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| Posted: Feb 01 2007 at 10:58pm | IP Logged
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I did tell her, that there are exceptions...when she plays theater or at Carnival when she dresses in a costume.
She wasn't satisfied last night, but maybe she will be this morning.
What would make me very sad, is if she would sneak the mascara, she is so naive. She would think I wouldn't notice.
I don't know how she will handle the pressure from her 2 girlfriends (who are very nice btw), whose parents allow more than we do.
I don't want to make an issue out of this point, but I see that it is just the beginning of much more!
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Stephanie
Wife and mother to Hannah '96, Maria '99, Dorothea '01, Helena '03
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Erin
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Stephanie
My sympathies, it is tough at times being counter-culture. And for you with your dds in school you will have many more moments even than I.  It does get tiring at times being 'different' for you and your girls. But stick too it, it will pay off in the end, one day you will be grateful. Look at it as character training, if your dd's get used to being different on the smaller things then they certainly will be strong on the really important issues. Sometimes I think our dc just ask us things to see what we say, I know I often did to my parents and it was so comforting to be albe to say'I'm not allowed' it took the pressure off me. 
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Erin
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teachingmom
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I had to laugh at the timing of your question, Stephanie. My oldest dd, who is 12 and a half, has been asking to wear some simple make-up recently too. I've been saying no, and she wanted me to ask all of my forum friends what they think about it. No kidding, she begged me to post a question about it here just today. And I come here to find that you have already done it. 
Now for all of you moms of older teens, when did you start allowing make-up? (Feel free to be specific about which types of make-up when.)
Up until now, my 12yo has only been allowed to wear light colored lip gloss and a little colorless powder for the pre-adolescent oily skin. (With one exception here too.) She is wanting to be allowed more. She is very willing to wear natural looking make-up, so I don't have the fear that it will make her look older than she already does. It's just that she's still so young. But I was considering adding a bit more freedom each year in the make-up department, beginning when she turns 13.
I'd really like to know what other Catholic moms have done, so I have some guides of the range of practices among families.
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~Irene (Mom to 6 girls, ages 7-19)
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MaryM
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Here is another thread on the topic as well. It was funny looking back at it. My daughter is now 11 and still not expressing an interest - which is good.
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Mary M. in Denver
Our Domestic Church
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Make-up and your daughter
