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humanaevitae Forum Pro
Joined: May 31 2005 Location: Minnesota
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Posted: Jan 18 2007 at 6:49pm | IP Logged
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After reading Theresa's prayer post and my own reflections, I wonder why we feel safer when our Dh is home?
My dh finds it mildly amusing as he wonders what superhuman power he is suppose to have when bad guys break in! Of course if something bad happens he would want to be around to do what he can... or atleast take the first bullet!
__________________ Nicole-Zane 10, Elizabeth 7, Xavier 4, and John Patrick 2
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MrsKey Forum Pro
Joined: Dec 21 2006 Location: Alabama
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Posted: Jan 18 2007 at 7:47pm | IP Logged
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I think I feel "safer" when dh is home because I know there are two of us for defensive purposes. Two guns are going to be more intimidating than one. I can trust him to have my back and he trusts me to have his back.
__________________ J.M.J.
Carole
Wife to Tom since '94 and mom to Bree since '96
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SuzanneG Forum Moderator
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Posted: Jan 18 2007 at 8:33pm | IP Logged
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Men also have somewhat of a natural instinct to protect and defend. Don't you think their reactions would just be "more"? I would def. be more "frazzled" and scared and maybe not do the smartest thing.
__________________ Suzanne in ID
Wife to Pete
Mom of 7 (Girls - 14, 12, 11, 9, 7 and Boys - 4, 1)
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humanaevitae Forum Pro
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Posted: Jan 18 2007 at 8:36pm | IP Logged
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suzgallus wrote:
Don't you think their reactions would just be "more"? I would def. be more "frazzled" and scared and maybe not do the smartest thing. |
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Only if I wake him up first!
__________________ Nicole-Zane 10, Elizabeth 7, Xavier 4, and John Patrick 2
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humanaevitae Forum Pro
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Posted: Jan 18 2007 at 8:42pm | IP Logged
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I think I just feel that his presence would "scare" the bad guys away. Kind of like a watch dog. "Oh, this house has a man in it, let's go on to the next house where there is a little woman all alone!"
__________________ Nicole-Zane 10, Elizabeth 7, Xavier 4, and John Patrick 2
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Theresa Forum All-Star
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Posted: Jan 18 2007 at 8:49pm | IP Logged
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Nicole, I don't necessarily feel "safer" when he is here. I am alone 5 days a week and have been for the last 7 years.
Well... maybe I do... but most times I dont even think about it much and on nights like the other night when the upset caller on the other end of the phone asked when my dh would be home well... I rely on the protection of my Heavenly Father and prayer warriors like you all to stand in agreement with me for protection and peace.
__________________ Theresa
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Theresa Forum All-Star
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Posted: Jan 18 2007 at 8:50pm | IP Logged
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BTW Nicole... I notice your in MN too! :o)
__________________ Theresa
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SuzanneG Forum Moderator
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Posted: Jan 18 2007 at 8:52pm | IP Logged
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humanaevitae wrote:
suzgallus wrote:
Don't you think their reactions would just be "more"? I would def. be more "frazzled" and scared and maybe not do the smartest thing. |
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Only if I wake him up first! |
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__________________ Suzanne in ID
Wife to Pete
Mom of 7 (Girls - 14, 12, 11, 9, 7 and Boys - 4, 1)
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JodieLyn Forum Moderator
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Posted: Jan 18 2007 at 8:57pm | IP Logged
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It's his job. I don't have to think about it when he's here. Because he is.
Any job that I have to keep in mind to do because he's not here to do it leaves me more stressed.
__________________ Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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Michaela Forum All-Star
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Posted: Jan 18 2007 at 9:26pm | IP Logged
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I feel much safer when DH is around because I know he can handle it. I've seen what he can do.
Not that I can't protect my children if necessary, but he is 6'1 and I'm 5'4. He *looks* intimidating.
If someone is watching the house, they would think two even three times before willing to go to battle with him.
Plus, if something did happen, he would take care of the person while I take our children to safety.
My biggest worries stem from imagining a fight with an intruder, leaving my children volnerable...hoping they remember to get out & not try to help momma.
__________________ Michaela
Momma to Nicholas 16, Nathan 13, Olivia 13, Teresa 6, & Anthony 3
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Theresa Forum All-Star
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Posted: Jan 18 2007 at 10:16pm | IP Logged
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Fear is something I think at some point that we as moms can all identify with. I lost my 17 year old sister in a car accident 4 years ago and ever since then I struggle with letting my kids travel with other people or other situations where I am not in control of. My Pastor pointed out to me that I have to have faith and trust in the promises of God and the power of prayer that I have spoken over my children.
I tend to worry more when the kids are out of my care than I do about being home alone. I just need to remember that God has NOT given me a spirit of fear.
__________________ Theresa
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Paula in MN Forum All-Star
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Posted: Jan 18 2007 at 10:46pm | IP Logged
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He can grapple with intruders while I grab the kids, the dogs, and run!
__________________ Paula
A Catholic Harvest
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KC in TX Forum All-Star
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Posted: Jan 18 2007 at 11:25pm | IP Logged
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Michaela wrote:
Plus, if something did happen, he would take care of the person while I take our children to safety.
My biggest worries stem from imagining a fight with an intruder, leaving my children volnerable...hoping they remember to get out & not try to help momma.
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That's me right there. I feel safer for this reason. I've planned out escape routes, and ways to get to safety (a bit neurotic, but dh is gone a lot).
__________________ KC,
wife to Ben (10/94),
Mama to LB ('98)
Michaela ('01)
Emma ('03)
Jordan ('05)
And, my 2 angels, Rose ('08) and Mark ('09)
The Cabbage Patch
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Jenny Forum Pro
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Posted: Jan 19 2007 at 9:06am | IP Logged
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I do not sleep when dh is gone, which is very rare thankfully. If he is gone, I stay up waaay tooo late, then I leave the tv on, some lights...I am not comfortable when he is not here. Of course like you all have mentioned, when he is here, I would have to wake him up
__________________ Jenny
Chris' wife and momma of 7. My blog: The Littlest Way--Bible Journaling, Inspiring Bible Quotes, Daily Affirmations, Prayer Journaling & photography
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hylabrook1 Forum Moderator
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Posted: Jan 19 2007 at 9:42am | IP Logged
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Most of the time my night-time worries are just *worries* -- nobody is really walking around downstairs or anything like that. When I'm alone, my imagination runs wild. When dh is here, he tells me it's nothing and that I should just go back to sleep -- which is also easier when I can snuggle up to him
Peace,
Nancy
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juststartn Forum All-Star
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Posted: Jan 19 2007 at 12:04pm | IP Logged
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My DH is gone alot (and is due to be gone for a year, leaving in the next few months) with the Army. Not fun. I "booby trap" the house...front and back doors...make sure everything is locked, the lights in the carport stay on all night, etc. DH is going to be putting up motion detecting lights before he leaves again, though, which will save me/us "some" money, lol.
I feel safer cause, frankly, I know he has the skills to beat the snot out of anyone breaking in...or shoot them. I wear contacts, and can hardly see across the room in daylight without them on...much less at night. I don't sleep well when he is gone, not at all. And I am always more "on edge". And then I worry about the dc (mine are the type that would either sleep thru the whole thing, or would be screaming and wanting to know what was going on, trying to help, etc. Despite training to the contrary, they are still very young (6.5 and under).
Complicating matters this time, I am pregnant and will still be so when DH leaves...so a very heavily pregnant woman home alone with three little girls...you can imagine how I am looking forward to it.
Rachel
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stefoodie Forum Moderator
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Posted: Jan 19 2007 at 12:50pm | IP Logged
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Because he's a man and from experience he will have the presence of mind to do the right thing. I will probably scream my head off or do something really stupid if something happens. It helps that he's a black belt too (as are our two boys, the 15-yo has a red belt). When dad's gone, they take their staffs and nunchuks and put it near our bed JUST IN CASE. Although I *am* hoping that if (God forbid) something does happen, the kids having been trained in self-defense can at least help me think more clearly what it is we'll have to do. But I do know enough to keep a cell phone by my side so I can make a quick call to 911 if need be.
Question: I was just preparing some travel forms for our homekeeping manual, and on the model I'm patterning it after it says "Ask police to patrol" when we go on vacation. Do any of you do this? Would this be a good idea for when hubby is gone? I've never done this, mostly because I really don't want ANYONE to know, police or not, that I'm alone here with the kids. (I mean, one or two close friends and family, but no one else)
__________________ stef
mom to five
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Paula in MN Forum All-Star
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Posted: Jan 19 2007 at 8:26pm | IP Logged
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stefoodie wrote:
Question: I was just preparing some travel forms for our homekeeping manual, and on the model I'm patterning it after it says "Ask police to patrol" when we go on vacation. Do any of you do this? Would this be a good idea for when hubby is gone? I've never done this, mostly because I really don't want ANYONE to know, police or not, that I'm alone here with the kids. (I mean, one or two close friends and family, but no one else) |
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Oh, yes. It helps because his BIL is a policeman in the area.
__________________ Paula
A Catholic Harvest
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Donna Marie Forum All-Star
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Posted: Jan 19 2007 at 8:52pm | IP Logged
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I feel waaay safer when dh is around. My dh is 6ft 8 and a former Marine...NO ONE messes with him When that Marine "stands tall"...he REALLY stands tall...who would WANT to mess with that??!
So my dh has a very strong protection gene.... He is smart and fast even in his sleep...I am just slow and randomly distracted with mommy-onset ADD.....LOL It is sooo nice to have another adult who knows well what to do whenever whatever hits. It helps me to relax at night and get real sleep. If he cannot be here...I pray to every angel and St. Michael to take over so that I can be "off-duty"...it helps!
I remember one story of a widow that kept a pair of LARGE muddy men's workboots by her back door at night...crafty 'eh?
God Love you!
Donna Marie from NJ
hs momma to 7dc
__________________ God love you!
Donna Marie from NJ
hs momma to 9dc!!
Finding Elegant Simplicity
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lamamaloca Forum Newbie
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Posted: Jan 19 2007 at 9:10pm | IP Logged
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I feel safer when my dh is home because he's nearly 100 lbs heavier me, and stronger than anyone else I know. I also know that he would die rather than allow someone to hurt me or the children. He knows how to hurt someone quickly, and he'd be willing to do it if necessary. So, I have good reason to feel safer around him.
On a more general note, I believe that it is the husband's job to protect his wife and children from the outside world. It is right to feel safer with him present.
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