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Cay Gibson
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Truthfully, this post is not about sour grapes at all and I don't want anyone (most of all my dear friend Alice) to think that I'm putting myself down (despite the subject heading  ) .
I was just reading her beautiful post Sewing a Seed and thinking how different was our woodsy adventure four years ago which I just happened to write about way back then.
"We read Night Tree by Eve Bunting, cut up the remaining apples into wedges, smeared peanut butter and sprinkled seeds on pinecones, and strung popcorn onto thread. More dirty dishes in the sink. We found a tree in our little wooded acre to trim for the animals. Walking through the woods, my five-year-old complained that it was cold and her feet were wet. Her nine-year-old brother mumbled that we didn't have bears or deer in the woods to come eat all this food (just squirrels). My fifteen-year-old thought the idea was plain stupid, but he was at the age where he thought everything was stupid."
I sighed when I read Alice's blog post. I see it happening clearly at her house just as she says on her blog. Matter of fact, I can see doing this quite clearly with my girls. They "get this" stuff.
It's just so different when you throw boys into the mixture. 
I want to thank Alice for pushing me towards greater things with my last two girls. I so want this experience for them. It just doesn't always turn out the way I plan it.
I think a key component in this lifestyle (which Alice demonstrates so well) is to focus on the positive, remain upbeat, smile in the face of defeat, laugh and the world laughs with you. This mentality is what we want to teach our children. This response is what we want to leave with our children.
Still...it would help so much to have an "Alice" living in all our homes. Wouldn't it? 
__________________
Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks
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alicegunther
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Cay, this is high praise from a woman who beams joy and gladness wherever she goes. You are so real, Cay, so loveable, so beautifully sincere and appreciative of others, and that is why the world flocks to your door.
I also agree wholeheartedly about the nature of girls--they are a lot more receptive to these "mommy moments"!
Thank you for pushing me--and the rest of the Catholic homeschooling world--toward greater things in so many ways.
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Love, Alice
mother of seven!
   
Cottage Blessings
Brew yourself a cup of tea, and come for a visit!
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Lissa
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Amen to that, Cay. I can't tell you how many times I have threatened to just move into her cottage!
But truly, the scene you described? That is similar to how my "lovely ideas" have often played out too--and I only have the one tiny boy. Every outing or adventure I have planned for my gang has included a healthy share of complaints and mishaps. When we'd trek out to the woods with our boxes of paints, sure there would be peaceful moments when everyone was happily working and discovering--but inevitably one child finishes first and is ready to go, and someone else needs another half hour to get it perfect, "oh no wait I messed up have to start over again," and someone is hot and someone is hungry and the toddler just filled his diaper. LOL. I figure that kind of chaos--tohubohu! hey, I got to use it twice today!--is normal for any group of kids.
I admire your perseverance and cheerfulness! I firmly believe that will make an indelible impression on your children, long after they've forgotten about apples in the woods!
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Lissa
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BrendaPeter
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Boy Cay, I hear ya! We did the Epiphany play last night & my dd was soooooo enthusiastic. Her brothers on the other hand.... Makes me want to just throw up my hands & say "forget it!"!!!
This year, Our Lady seems to want our family to experience the liturgical year in a deeper way, so I'm determined (dear Lord, help me!) to give it a go. Everyone will be busy counting all the new gray hairs that pop up on my head .
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Brenda (mom to 6)
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Lisbet
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Cay, You are SO right about throwing boys into the mix, really. Our family is very boy heavy (5 of 'em! God Bless each one!) The girls are my shadows, they ask for tea, crafts, and they can sit still much longer than even my oldest son!
I have a friend with only boys, and I can assure you, no tea of any sort would go over in her house! LOL! (he boys are WONDERFUL, one of them is my dear godson, they are just very, ahem, masculine! )
Alice is indeed very upbeat and positive, such a great example to this sour puss! But I do think another key component is to not get focused on "our plans" and be open to what the children are receptive to and how they wish to explore whatever subject you are encouraging them in. KWIM?
Cay, we are about to form a Catholic Mosaic group with a few friends. We are going to have many more boys than we will girls. I am so curious and eager to see the difference in their Mosaic notebooks and their reactions to different stories.
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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Lisbet
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Cay, I wanted to add, after reading the title of this post again, that I am SO glad that their is Alice, and then you!! One of the most wonderful things about this community is that we are all working toward the same goals, we pray for the same overall things for our children, but we each have our own unique ways of getting there. I LOVE the differences in personalities, I learn from each and every one. I can identify myself in bits from each individual here, and I can testify that I have streched myself and my family in such wonderful ways from the things I have gleaned from each individual here. (read my "return to reallearning post!)
I love Alice, and then I love Cay!
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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Cay Gibson
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Alice, you humble me. Here's a big ((HUG)) 
Lissa, I does me good to hear your "real life" experience on your outtings. Too often we get trapped into the mindset of thinking our children are the only ones who complain and our plans are the only ones that don't work as planned.
Brenda, I don't know how many times I've thrown my hands in the air. I usually end up waving them though and telling the guys "Pacify your mother please! It's the last time I'll ever ask you for anything."  (They have learned that this is just a sales gimmick but they usually laugh and pacify me anyway.
Often you'll see on my blog only my two girls involved in crafy ideas and teas, etc. You might see the soon-to-be 14 yr old's pants leg or arm passing by. It breaks my heart that all five of mine aren't closer together in age to have enjoyed all this together. It seems my older three share the same childhood memories while the younger two are making their own set of memories.
At the same time I am grateful...so grateful...each and every day for each one of these blessings and that I've been here to enjoy it with them.
Speaking of plans (and boys), I realized something while I was blogging this morning. I find that the best real-life experiences for my boys are the ones I don't plan. Can others relate to this?
I just posted about #2 son's experience this weekend: Deer (and Coyotes) in the Woods and I've decided to keep a log of these experiences under the heading: Literature Alive!
It's kind of a comfort thing for me to see that I don't always need plans...certainly not well-laid plans. Doing it on paper and doing it in real-life are two separate entities.
As Lisa wrote:
Lisbet wrote:
| I do think another key component is to not get focused on "our plans" and be open to what the children are receptive to and how they wish to explore whatever subject you are encouraging them in. |
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Lisbet wrote:
Cay, we are about to form a Catholic Mosaic group with a few friends. We are going to have many more boys than we will girls. I am so curious and eager to see the difference in their Mosaic notebooks and their reactions to different stories.
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That's true, Lisa. I will say that the year we were doing Catholic Mosaic, I was very conscious of the boys in the group. I had heard from some mothers in our local group who said they didn't come to activities because everything was always so geared towards the girls.  It's just so easy to do things with girls. I wanted CM to be something the boys could participate in as well.
I had my 13 yr old son helping at the time. To get his involvement, I had him assist me in unloading the stuff and setting it up. He also made himself available to help with the presentations.
I wish you great success with your Mosaic this year. 
If I get to Heaven, I'll be sure to tell St. Peter "My family and the ladies at 4Real sent me here."
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Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks
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Dawn
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Cay Gibson wrote:
| Speaking of plans (and boys), I realized something while I was blogging this morning. I find that the best real-life experiences for my boys are the ones I don't plan. Can others relate to this? |
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Since I only have boys, I don't have the "girl experience" to compare it to.  I do find, however, that springing things on my boys - tea, crafts, activities, etc. - is better than trying to get them all fired up with ideas beforehand. They like to do those things, they just don't need to talk about them.
For example, I was SO excited this morning to make a seashell candle for the Baptism of the Lord. I didn't even mention this to the boys, I just started working in the kitchen. Within minutes I had eager beavers all around me. Just DOING it is fun for them. Me, I can plan and prepare and talk all I want, but for them it is all about the doing.
Fortunately, and maybe it is their ages (5, 7 and 11), they are very open to these crafty/liturgical/nature activities. They even drink TEA! (Though they *really* like the cookies that come with it. )
Funnily enough, though, I have friends with little girls who LOVE to come here and do these things too, and I can see that the very IDEA of it is part of the enjoyment for them. It's like that for me too, and sometimes too much. Mothering boys has me *doing* more than just *thinking* which is a good thing for me.
All that said, oh, how I loved that post, Alice. You hit the nail on the head about filling up these little vessels while they are still in our charge.
I feel like (hope) every little memory we make is a beautiful piece of fabric being woven around their hearts - how well they will be wrapped when they are grown!
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Dawn, mum to 3 boys
By Sun and Candlelight
The Nature Corner
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Cheryl
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Lissa wrote:
-but inevitably one child finishes first and is ready to go, and someone else needs another half hour to get it perfect, "oh no wait I messed up have to start over again," and someone is hot and someone is hungry and the toddler just filled his diaper. LOL. I figure that kind of chaos--tohubohu! hey, I got to use it twice today!--is normal for any group of kids.
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I am so happy to read this today. This sounds just like my family. Thanks Cay for starting this thread. With 3 (so far) completely different personalities, I've been wondering, how can I homeschool them? How should our homeschooling days flow? I just made a new schedule for the winter months and I followed it last week. This week I'm waffling on it. I made the schedule because I thought that ds 6 needed more structure. He gets bored easily. Ds 8 hates the structure. He seems to only enjoy things if he doesn't know it's "school". I had written in another thread about how ds 8 especially doesn't want to do schoolwork on Mondays. Willa said they do chores and light academics on Mondays. Today we cleaned the upstairs until 10:00, did short math and phonics and read and drew for awhile. Ds 8 seemed to love it. Ds 6 was teasing and acting out.
I think I'm a perfectionist. I want to find the 'best' way to go about our day. I want our days to flow smoothly, but they don't. It's constant interruptions or chaos much of the time. I wonder... is this how it's supposed to be with children? Or could it be because I don't stick to a schedule long enough for them to get used to it? Do I need to relax or be more disciplined?
I've also noticed a difference between my boys and my dd, especially with religion. We've done some of Moira's presentations and my dd really gets into them. Ds 6 just wants to be silly and ds 8 is completely focused on the flames and controlling the candle snuffer. My dd also took her role as Mary in our nativity play very seriously, while the boys wanted to make it a comedy.
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Cheryl
Wife to Bob ('97)
Mom to Matthew 13, Joseph 11, Sarah 10, Rachel 6, Hannah almost 4 and Mary 1
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Genevieve
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Oh Dawn & Cay... I know what you mean and my boys are even younger than yours. It's like they want to come up with the plan although there is MUCH suggestion from mom. Oh well... I guess we can just call it advance planning to be "heads of the family"
My activities run very much similar to what Lissa describes. I feel like I'm conducting an orchestra. It's all about anticipation, adjusting and afterwards just laughing at the craziness of it all.
I know I personally appreciate all these wonderful family scenes people share. Every household is different but I always try to hit a few blogs before I start my day... it's almost like my devotional and a setting my perspective. I feel often that I am flying blind in creating memories when I myself have few. And when the ideas aren't warmly welcomed, well... at least you tried and there's another opportunity to practise smiling.
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Genevieve
The Good Within
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Genevieve
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Cheryl wrote:
| I've also noticed a difference between my boys and my dd, especially with religion. We've done some of Moira's presentations and my dd really gets into them. Ds 6 just wants to be silly and ds 8 is completely focused on the flames and controlling the candle snuffer. |
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Cheryl,
I wonder whether you could try isolating the candle and the candle snuffer. Call it a practical life tray. You might want to consider getting different candles and snuffer so there is still reverance to presentation.
Ds 6 might just prefer the 3-6 album instead. Or better yet break down the presentations. Moira often combines presentations in her album. I have similar issues with my toddler sitting in for my 4 year old. And those suggestions have helped.
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Genevieve
The Good Within
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stefoodie
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Dawn, that's exactly how it happens here! When I try to get everyone in on the planning and the shopping and the preparations, by the time we get to the DOING, the boys have lost interest and I'm frustrated. But when I just spring it on them, or start working on things myself, then they gather round, are eager to help or get involved, and actually DO things.
I'm still very far away from how Alice and all you other great moms here do things, but you are all so inspiring that I'm hoping it will all just rub off on me one of these days, as it has been these last several years. Hey, I figure if I get to do 10% of what y'all are doing with your kids, we'd be in pretty good shape!
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stef
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MichelleW
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Yes, boys are different. My oldest son, in particular, has a very "Eeyore" kind of personality. When he was about 3 years old I started making it a point to take pictures of him enjoying himself. It has worked. When we look back through the scrapbooks, he more often remembers the fun parts than that he was a real downer that day...
When he was 4, I told them we were going to make some ornaments for the tree. I described what we were going to do, then he stood up and told me he had a better idea and left. I let him go and continued with the other two. Later, he came in excited to show me what he had made. He had gone into Todd's workshop (where Todd was working on something) and hammered together this HUGE cross to put in the front yard. It is still one of my favorite memories. Todd said he came in and started rummaging around in the scrap wood bin, said he didn't need any help and set to work on his own. It's not about the plans we have, it's about how God will use them in each child's life.
I also find that dd likes to plan teas, but the boys are fine with just showing up. Both boys LOVED the Lenten Teas, but they don't really care about the planning and preparing.
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Michelle
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Sarah
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My boys loved the OL of Guad tea. They were more interested in food than presentation, but we did in a very quick boyish way. Didn't look like Alice's at all, but it tasted good.
My dd would LOVE to spend an afternoon at Alice's!!!!!!!!!!! She's the only girl here and as we've all said boys are very different.
I'm glad to have Alice, Cay and all of you! Its neat to see how everyone lives.
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BrendaPeter
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Dawn wrote:
| They even drink TEA! (Though they *really* like the cookies that come with it. ) |
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Yes, cookies are extremely helpful!! And hot chocolate in the case of my dc! That's been a very recent discovery for me but I'm going with it, big time! We are probably finally having a shred of success because God has worn me out so much with 6 dc 12 & under that I don't have the energy to be a perfectionist any more!
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Blessings,
Brenda (mom to 6)
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Lissa
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Sarah wrote:
| My boys loved the OL of Guad tea. They were more interested in food than presentation, but we did in a very quick boyish way. Didn't look like Alice's at all, but it tasted good. |
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We had Erica's gang over for Epiphany cupcakes. I was laughing so hard, later, to think how chaotic and disorganized I was about the whole thing. When I frosted the cupcakes, I got so many crumbs in the icing it looked like cookies-and-cream instead of vanilla. And I couldn't even blame it on the kids!
Then the poor Sanchez clan was barely in the door before my girls were thrusting cupcakes before their faces, and I think most of the kids had decorated and eaten half before we got around to singing (we never did pray), and it wasn't until halfway through the song that I remembered I'd meant to have the 3 Wise Men from our nativity join us at the table! So I'm singing off key and plopping Magi on the table and Eileen has a mouth full of cupcake. How's that for holy and reverent?
It was fun, though!
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Lissa
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krgammel
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Oh my! Did I need this discussion today! I've been sitting finishing inserting the Advent pages in a notebook by myself My boys are DONE!
Every few days I'd read a blog during advent and feel Maybe I planned too much, I tried to make if FUN and sometimes they blew me away with their enthusiasm and responses. DS(4) couldn't go to sleep without signig Joy to the World, or telling people he knew Christmas was about Jesus and not presents etc.
Eventually, it unravelled as the third wave of family arrived on Christmas Eve.
After Mass on Christmas Eve, they were done! Just like today! Gone was the desire to fill the tiny wooden mangers with hard earned strips of hay, gone was the carefully planned/selected bedtime story, going once, going twice, GONE! It was all about SANTA and PRESENTS!
I cried!  I was so disappointed. I had big plans.
Then I found myself wondering if the Blessed Mother wasn't the smallest bit disappointed that very same night, did she not dream that the birth of the Son of God would be in a more comfortable location than the stable? Is it possible she desired more? While I am confident that she was overwhelmed with LOVE and JOY, I would think that after a night on the Donkey, a nice warm room might have crossed her mind.
As I pondered a conversation I had with my priest came to mind. I said, "I am a mess!" He immediately responded, "So was the manger, but it was good enough for HIM!"
Maybe my plans don't always work, but like all of you, I hope they will remember, and pray our efforts will be good enough for HIM!
Thank you all for inspiring me to keep on, and thanks for reminding me that they are boys, apparently normal boys 
+Kristen
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Lissa
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Oh, Kristen, how beautiful! What a perfect motto for us moms in the midst of the mess: "The manger was good enough for Him."
Thanks for sharing that.
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Sarah
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Lissa wrote:
I got so many crumbs in the icing it looked like cookies-and-cream instead of vanilla. . . . my girls were thrusting cupcakes before their faces, and I think most of the kids had decorated and eaten half before we got around to singing (we never did pray),. . . So I'm singing off key and plopping Magi on the table and Eileen has a mouth full of cupcake. How's that for holy and reverent?
It was fun, though! |
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Oh Lissa. This was funny. There is room in the Church forr all of us, huh????
You should have seen my Mt. Tepyac (or however you spell it?). A huge heap of Guacamole with OL of Guad. holy card (made of paper) stuck in the middle! My Ham roses looked like blobs and the kids wouldn't wait for the tortillas to be cut like tilmas. I had a paper plate with chocolates thrown on it that the kids ate BEFORE anything else. And you should have seen my cheese slices that were supposed to be moons. I was trying to hurry but they were eating faster than I could set up! It was totally BOYS and chaos. It was FUN, though!!
Alice, I hope you don't take offense. I hope you don't think we're making fun of you. I LOVE your ideas. I love your dishes! Like I said before my dd would LOVE to come over. She usually is the only one that "gets it" and she's only 3!
I love my boys, too. I always get a kick out of how my dainty things turn out.
When I tried to do something several months ago that required flour and rolling pins you should have seen what it looked like. They even had flour in their hair, in the bathroom, EVERYWHERE! We had to vacuum the whole house, and change all their clothes. 
Sorry to ramble. . .
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doris
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I may be going off on a tangent here, and here's the usual caveat about having younger kids, not very many, only been home educating for a year, etc...
But I must say that my one boy is SO much easier than his sisters! Messier, yes, less docile, yes, but basically either happy or not, and I know it. Also quite happy to have a cuddle any time either of us wants one. My girls, however... their moods are like those paint sample cards which have 1000 infinitisimally different shades of grey. Not that they can't be happy! But they're so much more complicated. They want so much more attention and feedback. They analyse things, can see through me in an instant if I'm pretending about something (even my 2 yo says, 'Do me a nice face'!) Heaven help me when they hit adolescence!
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Frabjous Days
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: There's Alice...then there's me
