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Rebecca
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| Posted: Jan 04 2007 at 11:53pm | IP Logged
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I have a friend who, sadly, is no longer open to life and wants no more children of her own. Lately, I have gotten the feeling that she is spending time with me, simply because I have little ones and she no longer does. I think that she only wants to be friends so she can hold my baby and play with my little ones.
Should I just allow this (I really would like to remain friends)and hope that being around our family will encourage her to be open to life? Am I wrong and selfish not to want my kids to be the basis for our friendship?
I am not seeing this clearly and could use some insight.
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alicegunther
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| Posted: Jan 05 2007 at 12:00am | IP Logged
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Rebecca wrote:
Should I just allow this (I really would like to remain friends)and hope that being around our family will encourage her to be open to life? Am I wrong and selfish not to want my kids to be the basis for our friendship?
I am not seeing this clearly and could use some insight. |
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Rebecca, offhand, my heart's reaction is that you should definitely remain friends, allowing this woman to play with the kids and satisfy her yearning to be around children. You are probably already inspiring her to turn from her secular way of thinking, and it may bear some rich fruit down the line.
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Love, Alice
mother of seven!
      
Cottage Blessings
Brew yourself a cup of tea, and come for a visit!
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Diane
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Rebecca, I had the same immediate reaction as Alice. I can definitely understand your hurt and concern and don't think you are wrong or selfish to question it. You certainly don't want it to become an unhealthy situation.
But the Holy Spirit may be at work in her heart through you and your children. I'm absolutely sure that you are an inspiration to her in your motherhood and friendship. 
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Peace,
Diane
Mom to five fair lasses and one bonny prince
The Journey of a Mother's Heart
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Elizabeth
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Rebecca,
You should defnitely continue your queit witness. I've experienced the reverse many times. Twice, I've had very close friends whose husbands have sterilized and then, very abruptly, the friend stops being friendly. On one occasion, she actually said she couldn't bear to be around my growing family. It made her too sad for herself. Your friend is staying close. I think that's a really good thing!
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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KellyJ
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| Posted: Jan 05 2007 at 8:20am | IP Logged
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Rebecca, your quiet witness and friendship may actually help your friend become open again to children. I do think you should try to maintain the friendship; your desire to keep it says a lot in itself.
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KellyJ
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kjohnson
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Being open to life is such a gift of divine grace. In offering that grace to your dear friend, God has chosen you as a witness to that gift and a source of joy in seeing it lived out. Whether it is a situation like yours in which the friend is attracted to the family, or a situation like Elizabeth's in which the friend can't peacefully be in contact with the family, both are signs of the Holy Spirit tugging on the conscience. Through your gentleness, loving prayer and beautiful example, I am sure that she will have the strength to cooperate with grace. How sad it would be if she were completely numb after making such a decision. Let this response of hers to your beautiful family be a source of hope in God's miracles.
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In Christ,
Katherine
Wife to Doug and Mother of 6
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Rebecca
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| Posted: Jan 05 2007 at 8:30am | IP Logged
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Thanks ladies. I really needed that support. I wouldn't end the friendship myself but I have found that I am less apt to call her to do things these days because I have been a little uncomfortable with the situation. I thought that perhaps being around my kids has "filled the void" for her instead of encouraging her to have more. (Almost like the neighbor who always borrows your lawn mower and therefore has no need to get his own .)
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: A Friend of Mine
