| Author | |
Michaela
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 25 2005
Location: Washington
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2052
|
| Posted: Dec 21 2006 at 12:58pm | IP Logged
|
 |
|
It happens each time we are pregnant. Everyone expects us to name baby after someone. So, we've always stayed clear of family names so no one would be hurt.
My mom and DH's mom have a battle regular Mom vs MIL ....Grandma vs. Grandma battle/compitition. LOL They've never met (yet) but you know they are always attempting to one up the other.
Nicholas suggested combining DH's mom's name (Diana) with my mom's name (Maria).
The end result was so funny, relieving tention...purely innocent as he tried to combine three letters from each name. It came out to be... DIA + RIA =  
Umm, no. Not gonna work.
So, we are back to family expectations.
My mom called last night and told me the date of the c-section is my grandmother's birthdate. (I knew EXACTLY what was coming)
She feels in honor of her mother we need to name the baby after her mom. I told her several times before she got it out of her mouth, NOT TO SAY it. Ugh, it was a name we were considering, too.
She gently reminded me about a dream I had ten years ago.
In this dream, my Oma was trying to wake me up. It's been so long I don't remember what she said, but she was calling me to get up and check Nicholas. I woke up & went to Nicholas, and found him struggling frantically entangled in his sheets, drenched in sweat.
So, she said I should honor my grandmother by giving our dd her name.
Ugh. I'm not against the name, but to do it that way irked me. DH said maybe the hospital messed up and it's a boy. LOL
So, anyone else have family members with strong opinions on what you should name or should have named your baby?
__________________
Michaela
Momma to Nicholas 16, Nathan 13, Olivia 13, Teresa 6, & Anthony 3
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Mare
Forum Pro
Joined: Feb 08 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 357
|
| Posted: Dec 21 2006 at 2:20pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I love the DIA + RIA name.
I'm sorry that you are going through this. 
__________________
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
SharonO
Forum Rookie
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: Missouri
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 66
|
| Posted: Dec 21 2006 at 3:04pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Seems like Zechariah and Elizabeth had the same problem in Luke 1:57-66 when it came to naming their son.  They didn't listen to their family members either.
We have not had that problem, fortunately, especially for the boys. My dad's name was Orville. Of course when I was growing up, Orville Redenbacker was advertising his famous popping corn!
Merry Christmas
Sharon
__________________
Sharon in MO
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
KellyJ
Forum All-Star
Joined: June 29 2006
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 598
|
| Posted: Dec 21 2006 at 3:05pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I'm so sorry to hear about this, Michaela. People assume we name ours after family members if there happens to be a choice that coincides with one or more family names, but we don't get the pressure you do.
It sounds like it is really important to both moms (grandmoms) to have family names passed on. I'm not sure that this needs to be accomodated, but if a name choice happens to coincide or be related to a family name, then what a happy occasion.
When you mentioned your husband trying out a name combo, I thought Diana Maria or Maria Diana. Then, I saw what he meant... and I immediately thought of doing it with the Maria part first then Diana... let's just say it's just as awful a name.
I'm praying for you all.
__________________
KellyJ
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
ladybugs
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: California
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3732
|
| Posted: Dec 21 2006 at 3:06pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I have been dealing with certain issues similar to this for years.
The only advice I have is to do what you are inspired to do. Don't feel guilted into naming your baby something you don't want to. Maybe your daughter will grow up and choose one of those names as her confirmation name but I really believe that her name is up to you, your dh and the Holy Spirit, fwiw.
__________________
Love and God Bless,
Maria P
My etsy store - all proceeds go to help my fencing daughters!
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Jen L.
Forum All-Star
Joined: Oct 18 2005
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2148
|
| Posted: Dec 21 2006 at 3:16pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I am so sorry that you have to go through this and I'm praying for you.
I totally agree with Maria's words of wisdom.
(And Dia+Ria is too funny! -- I think Marianna is a nice name though.)
__________________
Jen
dh Klete,ds (8/95),dd (12/97), dd (11/00), and ^2^ in heaven
"...the best state in which to glorify God is our actual state; the best grace is that of the moment..." St. Peter Eymard
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
MaryM
Board Moderator
Joined: Feb 11 2005
Location: Colorado
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 13104
|
| Posted: Dec 21 2006 at 3:20pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
KellyJ wrote:
| and I immediately thought of doing it with the Maria part first then Diana... let's just say it's just as awful a name. |
|
|
But since the "ia" parts of the name do overlap - if just drop the "D" and you overlap them you get Mariana - which is beautiful.
EDITED- looks like Jen posted while I was working on my post.
__________________
Mary M. in Denver
Our Domestic Church
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
1floridamom
Forum Pro
Joined: June 30 2006
Location: Florida
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 236
|
| Posted: Dec 21 2006 at 3:44pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Michaela, I can commiserate. So far, even though suggestions have flown at us from every direction, there is only one person who takes it all very seriously...my dad. My sister had her first baby last year, and she named him after one of her dh's uncles. My daughter (#4) was born two weeks later. Her name is Kylie Marie. My dad spent the better part of the next two weeks trying to "figure out" who I had named her after; he let me know that there were Maries on him mom's side. That wasn't a consideration; it was a name that my dh and I had thought up long before we ever had any kids.
We have never named babies after anyone purposely. We looked at them for a while before we named them. This year, my baby came first, so she was named (Ashley Rose) without any mention of who she might be named after (besides St. Rosa of Lima). My sister's baby was born a few months later, and she named her after her best friend, Sarah, and her MIL, Eileen.  It can cause such hurt feelings.
All this to say that I sympathize with you. Happy baby naming!
__________________
Monica in FL
dh Steve, Sean (14), Ethan (13), Emily (10), Kylie (6), Ashley (5) and Lindsay (2)!
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
marihalojen
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 12 2006
Location: Florida
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1883
|
| Posted: Dec 21 2006 at 6:04pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I'm pretty fond of the name Marianna! 
It is not a common name at all, we've met one Italian grandmother that spells her name like Marianna's and one town in Northern Florida and that is it. Lots of Marianne's though.
As for who she was named for? The Blessed Virgin and her Mother, of course! Marianna has known that since day one and freely tells everyone from grocery cashiers to priests about her name.
__________________
~Jennifer
Mother to Mariannna, age 13
The Mari Hal-O-Jen
SSR = Sailing, Snorkling, Reading
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
mellyrose
Forum All-Star
Joined: May 12 2006
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 939
|
| Posted: Dec 21 2006 at 7:24pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
You're not alone! As soon as we found out the sex of this baby (due in May) my mom started with her "list of approved names" I haven't listened in the past (and we have had heated conversations about it, too!) so I don't know why she thinks I will this time. And, of course, she is only interested in us naming the child after my side of the family -- while she finally likes DH, she has nothing but disdain for his family.
She openly dislikes the names we chose. I didn't tell her what name we chose for my second (Nathaniel Edward) until after he was born. She still (6+ years later) is snarky about my firstborn (Colin Jeremiah). My father sent me this long tirade when I was pregnant with Nate about the meaning of Colin -- and it was NOTHING I hadn't researched and didn't know, plus it left out quite a bit. He thought I chose the name because I thought it was Irish (part of my heritage) -- but it's actually Gaelic (um, yea, Dad, I did the research!)
You've touched a nerve in me - as my sister just informed me about 30 minutes ago that she had the naming conversation with my mom and my mom's current pick is Esther, because it's a name from both sides of my family (hers & my dads).
Colin Jeremiah is not from either side -- Nathaniel is not, but Edward is actually my husband's, father's and paternal grandfather's middle name. I chose it to honor my husband more than any of the rest.
This baby will most likely be named Lydia Jane. Lydia because I love who she was in the Bible and I like the name and Jane for my sister. I'm not telling anyone in my family, though, until after she's born!!
I think very carefully about the names I choose -- each has a particular meaning to me, plus I research all the possible meanings/variations/etc. before I make my final choice. Oh, and of course, DH & I discuss each choice as well and are in full agreement. I tell my mom that she had the honor of naming her 3 children, and she needs to let me have the honor of naming mine -- but she never hears me.
Anyway, my big long rant was just to let you know that you're not alone!!
Melanie
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Erin
Forum Moderator
Joined: Feb 23 2005
Location: Australia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5814
|
| Posted: Dec 21 2006 at 10:52pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Oh dear. Actually if you ever did name the child after them do you think they would play favourites with that child? Sounds awful to suggest but I have heard of it happening.
My mum starts in with name suggestions as soon as I am pregnant, I just tune out now they get more and more outrageous At least she would NEVER expect me to name the child after family members, my dad did that to HER all the time. I remember one baby he really, really wanted to cal the baby 'Ambrose Rupert Percival' after three of his great uncles who all were so old they were in the first world war, I kid you not
Ambrose was the pick of them and St Ambrose did have the last laugh, my mum send my dad home from the hospital after they had argued names for the poor boy with no name. Mum rang and asked dad to pick up the saints book and look at the saints name of the day. Dad was laughing hysterically my brother was born on St Ambrose's feast day. So needless to say he was baptised Dominic Ambrose James. Nope rupert and Percival never did get used.
Well both my mum and mil are called Anne, however I wouldn't use it anyway. Never met hey, I wish I could manage that one
__________________
Erin
Faith Filled Days
Seven Little Australians
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
JSchaaf
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 22 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 753
|
| Posted: Dec 22 2006 at 4:15am | IP Logged
|
|
|
What is Oma's name?
I like Marianna or Maria Diane.
Jennifer
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
alicegunther
Forum All-Star
Joined: Jan 28 2005
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1992
|
| Posted: Dec 22 2006 at 6:13am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Wow, Mariana or Marianna really would solve the problem. That is such a great idea!
(Hey, isn't it funny that instead of addressing your question, I am joining your family in trying to name the baby?!)
Still, I can really understand how you feel about the name suggestions. I had a family member strongly suggest a family name through about three pregancies, and it really turned me off to the name. I just couldn't help it. I loved the name, but felt as if I couldn't do the nice gesture and choose the name myself. Then the family member stopped, and we used the name joyfully and voluntarily as a first name for one of our younger children!
It is a good thing I had seven kids!
__________________
Love, Alice
mother of seven!
   
Cottage Blessings
Brew yourself a cup of tea, and come for a visit!
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
lilac hill
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 15 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 643
|
| Posted: Dec 22 2006 at 6:20am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Our first is Margaret.
We always planned on her nickname being Maggie.
On both sides of the family there were people (alright a maternal grandfather, paternalgrandmother and uncle) who planned on calling her Peggy.
Peggy did not stick--she was and still is Maggie.
And BTW, it did warm the cockles of my post partum heart that they looked kind of silly calling her Peggy.
__________________
Viv
Wife to Rick (7/83), Mom to dd#1(6/87), dd#2(1/90), and dd#3(6/94) in central PA.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Michaela
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 25 2005
Location: Washington
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2052
|
| Posted: Dec 22 2006 at 6:26am | IP Logged
|
|
|
JSchaaf wrote:
| What is Oma's name? I like Marianna or Maria Diane. |
|
|
My Oma's name is Josepha. I've honestly considered Josepha or Josephine as a middle name.
I favor Teresa for a first name (Mother Teresa of Calcutta).
I thought of many names to go with it. Maria Teresa was always on top, but my mom started strutting like a proud peacock when she heard the first name. Which didn't bother me because it would be after Mother Mary. DH couldn't stand the way she told everyone it's after her.
Sooooo....there went my favorite.
Finally, in the past two weeks, I was leaning toward Teresa Lucia, but then my 17yo neice has taught my dd to sing that infomercial jingle for Chia pets....Ch Ch Ch Chia whenever we say Lucia. 
We have been avoiding discussing names with my mom because something always happens that leaves hard feelings.
When I was pregnant with my twins, we were told it was two boys. The phone call came that I should name one after my father who had passed away the previous year.
Cleophus Ray. Always LOVED my dad, but that wasn't a name I wanted. I told her that was for my brother...he is named Cleophus Ray....so his son would be the III.
All my life, she always said how she couldn't stand his name when they first met. Obviously, she was so hurt by that. Then we found out the twins were b/g. She insisted we give them matching names.
I kid you not, it came down to her putting the middle name I decided on and the name she wanted in a cup to have my DH pull out Olivia's middle name! It got that ugly. I'm married to the sweetest man....I didn't know it until afterwards, but he palmed the name we had picked...went through the motions of pulling out a name...and of course, it was the one we wanted.  She stormed out the room & hasn't let me forget she believes her choice was best.
Can anyone guess what conversation I'll be avoiding at our Christmas gathering?
After reading the replies, the funny thing is that my mom's real, given name is Marianna.
__________________
Michaela
Momma to Nicholas 16, Nathan 13, Olivia 13, Teresa 6, & Anthony 3
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Michaela
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 25 2005
Location: Washington
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2052
|
| Posted: Dec 22 2006 at 6:31am | IP Logged
|
|
|
alicegunther wrote:
| I just couldn't help it. I loved the name, but felt as if I couldn't do the nice gesture and choose the name myself. |
|
|
LOL Oh my, Alice, that is exactly what's happening.
That's the reason I begged her not to say it.
I'm being silly, but it would feel like her choice, not mine.
__________________
Michaela
Momma to Nicholas 16, Nathan 13, Olivia 13, Teresa 6, & Anthony 3
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
mrsgranola
Forum Pro
Joined: Feb 17 2005
Location: North Carolina
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 442
|
| Posted: Dec 22 2006 at 8:52am | IP Logged
|
|
|
I've just got one observation... we get these kinds of "issues" at LLL meetings all the time. Boundary issues... people crossing the line and pushing their views on child-raising, etc.
IMO, people cross the line of your parental boundaries and rightful authority when they try to insist you do things their way, whether it be naming the baby, telling you how to introduce solids, when to put them in their own bed/crib, etc. They just aren't the baby's parents!
So do what your instincts/intuition tell you is right with the baby's name and let them keep their guilt-evoking opinions.
Amatuer psychologist,
JoAnna
__________________
Mom to Jacob, Grace, Mary, Lucas, Emma, Carrie and Gianna
Parente Adventures
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
JSchaaf
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 22 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 753
|
| Posted: Dec 22 2006 at 9:12am | IP Logged
|
|
|
On second thought, nothing you do to make them happy will make them happy.
Time for us to help you find a name that doesn't remotely resemble anything already in your family. Simple and sweet.
Anne? Jill? Susan? Eugenia Victoria? Jennifer Barbara? (that one will make MY mom happy
)
Jennifer
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
doris
Forum All-Star
Joined: April 24 2006
Location: United Kingdom
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1103
|
| Posted: Dec 22 2006 at 9:31am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Seems like the same issues come up again and again. My eldest dd's middle name is Mary -- after our Mother in heaven. However, my mum decided that it was after her. I didn't have the heart to disabuse her.
My younger dd was born after my mil had died and my fil was desperate for us to name her after Granny. That would have meant calling her Valerie. Hmmm. No offence to anyone who bears that name, but it wasn't to our taste. We just told fil flat that we couldn't use that name, but we did compromise and use mil's middle name --Clare -- as dd2's middle name.
(Who would be the patron saint of naming children? St Monica? )
Elizabeth
__________________
Home educating in London, UK with dd (2000) ds (2002), dd (2004), ds (2008) and dd (2011).
Frabjous Days
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
kingvozzo
Forum All-Star
Joined: March 28 2005
Location: Maine
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2653
|
| Posted: Dec 22 2006 at 10:09am | IP Logged
|
|
|
doris wrote:
However, my mum decided that it was after her. I didn't have the heart to disabuse her.
Elizabeth |
|
|
This is the route we've pretty much taken. Our name choices are pretty traditional, so it's a good bet that someone in our family will have the name...For example, my oldest is named Joseph, my dh (middle name). Turns out his grandfather's brother was named Joseph (I guess that's where dh's family got the name?). It made dh's grandfather very happy to think we named our son after his brother. Whatever...
My dd's name is Margaret Mary (after my confirmation saint, and our Blessed Mother). My father's mother was Margaret, my mother and MIL are both Mary's, it made them happy to have a namesake granddaughter. Thank goodness noone tried to call her Peggy
We've been blessed that noone has actively tried to foist names on us. We've allowed all these various family members to think they have namesakes. I don't have to tell them that "they" didn't really have anything to do with the name
__________________
Noreen
Wife to Ed
Mom to 4 great kids and 10 sweet ones in Our Lady's arms
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: extended family expectations -- baby name
