4Real Forums: Where do you find the time?

Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.

Active Topics || Favorites || Member List || Search || About Us || Help || Register || Login

Tea and Conversation ( Forum Locked)
4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation

Topic: Where do you find the time?

Author

Message

<< Prev Topic | Next Topic >>

Jeanna
Forum Rookie

Joined: Oct 21 2006
Location: Nebraska
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 88

Posted: Dec 17 2006 at 6:21pm \| IP Logged

Wow, it's after midnight in my time zone and I thought I'd be in bed by 11 tonight. I just killed a few hours here and I feel like I have only just begun. Where do you find the time to come here on a regular basis? And those of you with blogs too? I can barely keep the house presentable, laundry clean, kids fed, and homeschool. Ironically, since dh has gotten home from his last deployment I feel like I've had even less time although he does all the grocery shopping and errands when he's home. Any time management tips from all you supermoms?

__________________
In Christ,
Jeanna
Mommy of 7 arrows.....

dd11;

dd9;

ds7;

dd6;

dd4;

ds3

"There is only one tragedy in the end, not to have been a saint."
- Leon Bloy

Paula in MN
Forum All-Star

Joined: Nov 25 2006
Location: Minnesota
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 4064

Posted: Dec 17 2006 at 8:47pm \| IP Logged

Definitely not a super mom here! I try to get up about an hour before everyone else in the morning and workout (

, make coffee

, use the computer and go over any lessons.

I got rid of all my clutter and everyone has assigned chores both inside and out.

I never feel like I have the time to get *it* all done, but then I have to ask myself ... just what is *it*?

__________________

Paula
A Catholic Harvest

Willa
Forum All-Star

Joined: Jan 28 2005
Location: California
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3881

Posted: Dec 17 2006 at 8:59pm \| IP Logged

Keep a log for a couple of days or more, noting where your time goes. See if there's anything you don't REALLY need to be doing or that you could streamline or delegate or do in clusters of activities.

Then prioritize -- is there anything that can be done every other day rather than daily?   What do you MOST like to see get done in a day, and what is not quite so important in your mind?

Your children are all very small; I was busier when I had four that were 6 and under, than I have ever been since.    I doubt if I could have blogged at all; I was fortunate if I got to jot a few random notes in a spiral journal before I went to sleep.

I have a routine of visiting here on this board for about 15 minutes in the morning with my coffee. That's usually enough time to skim most of the new threads. If I want to write I have to save a bit of extra time, usually in the afternoon when things get a bit quieter, or at night when the little ones are asleep. But when I have a baby in the house I usually take that time to get a nap or a bath!

Oh, and sometimes I print out a thread I want to read more carefully, and bring it down to the kitchen to read during lulls in meal preparations. This works because we have a laserjet but would probably get expensive with an ink printer.

__________________
AMDG
Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
Take Up and Read

ShawnaB
Forum Pro

Joined: Nov 05 2005
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 377

Posted: Dec 17 2006 at 10:00pm \| IP Logged

Sorry, no answers here...but reading your children's ages, WOW!, I'm surprised that you are here at all!! And even with twins!

I'm sure Willa is right about having 4 under age 6 being the busiest time. I sure feel like that, although my now 6 year old is becoming such a help.

I think Willa's advice of keeping a log of your time is really great. I'm actually going to try it, as I can totally relate to your lack-of-time dilema. (And as for the dh...I can also relate, because as helpful as my wonderful, wonderful husband is, he also requires my time and attention!

)

Also, remember that your littles' needs are changing so quickly right now. And with 2 infants, its not just double the work...its really more like quaduple the work. Even the littlest tasks are more complicated with 2. And as soon as you figure out a routine, their needs change and its time to re-think the routine.

I hope you are giving yourself a big break this first year. My mantra last year, when trying to homeschool my 5 year old, with a 2 year old and 2 infants was "Its only kindergarten, don't sweat it!" Sometimes it was easier said than done. He's 6 now, and I still don't give him all the time I'd like, but it is a little easier than last year, and he seems to be just fine!

I'm saying a prayer for you, and God bless you and all your little "arrows!"

__________________
Shawna, wife of Jacob, mom to Abraham 8 Amelia 5 and Jillian & Jonathan age 3 years http://www.psalm121family.com

Elizabeth
Founder
Founder

Real Learning

Joined: Jan 20 2005
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5595

Posted: Dec 18 2006 at 5:22am \| IP Logged

You have 6 month old twins! You DON'T have time, dear!

Seriously, I told someone recently that God gave me this (very fussy, bless her heart) baby to remind me of something. Whenever someone writes and asks "how do you do it?" I am to remember that it's nearly impossible to do much behind basic survival with a baby in the house. It's HARD, really hard to keep things running even a little smoothly with children the ages of yours. Several of us who are veterans know that. Alice took a long blog break when her baby was born. I just kept posting baby pictures and old articles. And Lissa is still finding a rhythm since relocating and watching her previously self-employed husband leave for an office.

I had fours years between babies this last time and now I can see why it was such a struggle when all my children were little. I was attempting to do something impossible. It's impossible to keep a perfectly clean house, homeschool, drive to dozens of lessons and practices and spend any time online without sacrificing something major. Looking back, I think I sacrificed both sleeping and eating. And, unfortunately, I think I also sacrificed time with my husband, not that either of us wanted that. He was traveling constantly.

I have plenty of time to read here and on blogs. I do that when I'm nursing. I do that where some women spend time on the phone or watching television or reading magazines. I think of bloglines.com as a magazine edited exactly to my own specifications

. But I can't really write unless the baby is asleep. And there are so many, many other things to do when the baby is asleep! Honestly, I do get frustrated sometimes. But other times, I just leave it to prayer. I've always put the Blessed Mother in charge of my writing time. I ask her to help me discern when to write. Windows usually open...

__________________
Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)

Angel
Forum All-Star

Joined: April 22 2006
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2293

Posted: Dec 18 2006 at 6:00pm \| IP Logged

Elizabeth's right; with 3 plus 6 month old twins, you do NOT have the time other people have. I know, I've been there!

(Actually, I'm still there, but at least I can sometimes sneak in a bit of computer time now that the babies are 14 months old. I just let them destroy the house behind me, it's easy.

)

I check the threads in the morning while I eat my breakfast, and sometimes at night after everybody goes to bed. But my babies are still getting up a couple times a night, and things don't really settle down around here until about 10 PM. So if I stay up too late, I end up really dragging in the morning. Sometimes I take days to write my blog posts... I often do that either in the morning, or in the afternoon when the babies (sometimes) nap.

As far as keeping up the house... I am not the person to talk to about that. My kids are 10,7, 3, and then the 14 mo twin boys. The babies move through the house like miniature tornados, and nobody can keep up with them. I've been trying to remove clutter, but we really need our dinner dishes, and the babies have dismantled most of our safety devices in the kitchen. We're looking for a gate that will fit our weird doorway so we can barricade the whole room. Anyway, I can clean all day, and the house always looks like a wreck. So I just try to focus on the moment, and do the best I can. I also try very hard not to compare myself with others. I tell myself they probably have problems I don't have, and I know my situation is not theirs as well. Especially as a mother of infant twins, your goal is just to survive!

--Angela
Mom to 3+2

Three Plus Two

Cheryl
Forum All-Star

Joined: Feb 20 2005
Location: Massachusetts
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 978

Posted: Dec 18 2006 at 8:43pm \| IP Logged

I come here and I read blogs while I nurse at night, which is quite a bit. I don't think my baby minds because her eyes are closed anyway. My dh and I get alone time together because we both stay up way too late. As for housework, homeschooling and other things such as spending time with friends and family, I feel like I'm constantly trying to balance everything. If I have a great day homeschooling, usually my house will be trashed. If I focus on housework, not much else gets done. I was blogging daily during quiet time and I'm taking a break now because I think it would be better for me to pray and meditate or nap during that time. I guess what I'm saying is that it feels like I can never do everything at once.

I can't imagine how busy you are. I know how busy I am taking care of my one baby, and I even have a just turned 8 yr old who helps out a bit. I just can't even imagine it....

So my tip (even though I'm not a supermom...do they really exist?) is do first things first. Probably feed the kids.

Sorry if I wasn't helpful.

__________________
Cheryl
Wife to Bob ('97)
Mom to Matthew 13, Joseph 11, Sarah 10, Rachel 6, Hannah almost 4 and Mary 1

Jeanna
Forum Rookie

Joined: Oct 21 2006
Location: Nebraska
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 88

Posted: Dec 21 2006 at 12:06pm \| IP Logged

Thanks for the advice and reassurance. I have to admit I was a bit intimidated when I first came here. All the posts with links to these perfect blogs, with the neat activities you did, in a clean looking house with lots of well feed and groomed kids.
I�ve been bitten by the blog bug and was wondering where I was going to find the time to do it. Especially since I�m not very computer savy. Fortunately dh isn�t comfortable with me putting our family life on the web so that is out of the picture for now and I don�t feel any guilt about it.

__________________
In Christ,
Jeanna
Mommy of 7 arrows.....

dd11;

dd9;

ds7;

dd6;

dd4;

ds3

"There is only one tragedy in the end, not to have been a saint."
- Leon Bloy

Elizabeth
Founder
Founder

Real Learning

Joined: Jan 20 2005
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5595

Posted: Dec 21 2006 at 12:57pm \| IP Logged

Jeanna wrote:

All the posts with links to these perfect blogs, with the neat activities you did, in a clean looking house with lots of well feed and groomed kids.

Jeanna, in order to take a picture of something and make it look like all is neat and tidy, you only have make sure that anything or anyone in the frame is neat and tidy. Ask me how I know

__________________
Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)

kjohnson
Forum All-Star

Joined: July 26 2006
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 669

Posted: Dec 21 2006 at 1:42pm \| IP Logged

I've been getting a lot of "How do you do it?" emails in reference to my blog and my response is always the same. No one does it all. Blogs are only snapshots into the lives of people. It's like an event that really wasn't that great and was definitely far from perfect, but when you see it in slide show format and set it to sappy music...viola! It APPEARS to be perfect. (Remember slide shows at the end of the school year in high school...they actually made it seem like we all had a good time!)

So while I may have a picture of my kids holding their newly created craft, there is limited view (as Elizabeth mentioned) in a frame. The craft may be cute, but you don't see the table that will need scrubbing or the pile of dirty dishes in the sink after a baking project. (Or tears when my husband gets home because the sciatica in this pregnancy is wearing me down.) But if we only concentrated on posting those kinds of things, it would defeat the purpose of trying to offer them up.

I've learned the hard way not to compare myself with other mothers and home schoolers. We only see an image of the reality of another's life. Everyone has their crosses.

__________________
In Christ,
Katherine
Wife to Doug and Mother of 6

Angel
Forum All-Star

Joined: April 22 2006
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2293

Posted: Dec 21 2006 at 2:28pm \| IP Logged

Jeanna wrote:

Just take a look at this post.

That's what my life is really like. I will admit to cutting messes out of the frame as often as I can, but I *do* also like to write about my tough days, because I think that we homeschool moms tend to think that nobody else has them. What I don't like to do is to *whine* about my tough days -- which, unfortunately, is easy enough for me.

And I do struggle to achieve a balance. If I've been posting a lot about our weaknesses, I will remind myself to post something about the fun things we did, or to post about our strengths. I also try to inject humor into as much of the hard stuff as I can. That's mostly to remind me to lighten up about it, though.

If I can laugh about the fact that every single dish I own is sitting on the kitchen island right now because we can't keep the babies out of the cupboards, for instance, I get less frustrated by it.

--Angela
Three Plus Two

SuzanneG
Forum Moderator

Joined: June 17 2006
Location: Idaho
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5465

Posted: Dec 21 2006 at 3:33pm \| IP Logged

I get to 11pm and feel like "i have only just begun" too. But, sleep is important, so most of the time I go to bed and begin again the next day. It's NOT tidy, or clean, or perfect. Oh well....

I don't have an outside social life, talk on the phone, or watch TV. Not that those things are BAD....everyone needs their down-time...the last couple of months I have chosen to read a few blogs and the forum for my down-time. I've been reading a great book lately, so my computer time diminishes. With so many littles, we don't "do much" such as outings, playdates, etc. It's time at home, a few necessary errands, and the park. Real outings are saved for when dad can go too.

I like to consider my blog as a tiny little section of my life that is actually in order and controlled. Everything lines up nicely, there are pretty colors, etc!!

As opposed to my house....my fridge....the laundry, the children! That's part of the attraction of blogging.....

I also nurse at the computer, but those days are slowly diminishing......she's almost 10 months old.

__________________
Suzanne in ID
Wife to Pete
Mom of 7 (Girls - 14, 12, 11, 9, 7 and Boys - 4, 1)

1floridamom
Forum Pro

Joined: June 30 2006
Location: Florida
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 236

Posted: Dec 21 2006 at 4:28pm \| IP Logged

There was a four-year space between my #3 and #4, and it spoiled me with my time. Now that two more babies are here, they have by their nature gotten my attention.

I realized something lately, though, that in the midst of this baby time, this message board started. I had really counted on the heavy email traffic from the Catholic CMason list, and everyone was here!

I have to tell you, this group of people and the support they give me are worth sacrificing some time, whenever I can find it. My house is a wreck, too, but I am going to do what I can to stay on top of that without having to forego this board. I don't have a blog...yet. I have a website that I post pictures to since our family all live far from us. It's too much for me, though, to think of posting what we're doing. I'm too private to let my possibly, well-meaning family members know what our life is like. That sounds horrible, doesn't it?

__________________
Monica in FL
dh Steve, Sean (14), Ethan (13), Emily (10), Kylie (6), Ashley (5) and Lindsay (2)!

Alice R
Forum Pro

Joined: May 28 2006
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 169

Posted: Dec 21 2006 at 4:40pm \| IP Logged

My blog needs to be updated but I consider my blog to be the highlights of the day/week.

I sit back and say "now what was blogworthy?"

It makes me feel great to be able to pick out a few things that really went well.

We are really hard on ourselves. We look a the craft we just made or the amazing lesson and think "but look at my floor!!!"

WHO CARES ABOUT THE FLOOR????????

No one. It is so not important.

Enjoy the craft. Enjoy the lesson. Take a picture of it and put it on the blog. Share your good moments with yourself, your family and your blog friends. Celebrate! Highlight the good in your life. Bring on the joy!

There is too much negativity. Blogs bring us the happy moments. It forces you to really say "hey, I did a few great and amazing things today!"

Just know that there is a pile of junk in my house when you look at my happy moments.

Crop out the messy floor outta your blog and outta your conscience.

Trust me, my house is often trashed.

How do I find the time? Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't. I also type very fast after years and years of typing reports for work.

I do it for fun and I want to save it for my kids. I have a feeling they will be a lot of fun to read in 5 or 10 years.

Merry Christmas!
Alice R

__________________
Mom to Nathaniel (10), Noah (8) Alise (6) Rebekah (3)and expecting another blessing Faith, Grace and Family

SuzanneG
Forum Moderator

Joined: June 17 2006
Location: Idaho
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5465

Posted: Dec 21 2006 at 5:38pm \| IP Logged

Alice R wrote:

I sit back and say "now what was blogworthy?"

If I were a bettin' woman, I'd bet that "Blogworthy" will probably be in the dictionary in a couple of years!

__________________
Suzanne in ID
Wife to Pete
Mom of 7 (Girls - 14, 12, 11, 9, 7 and Boys - 4, 1)

Sorry, you cannot post a reply to this topic.
This forum has been locked by a forum administrator.

[Add this topic to My Favorites]

Printable version

Forum Jump

You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot create polls in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum

Hosting and Support provided by theNetSmith.com