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MacBeth
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| Posted: May 06 2005 at 11:12am | IP Logged
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I thought that we might want to move this part of the "where did you go..." conversation to its own topic.
I know this can be a tought subject, so let's go gently on each other  !
Here's a thought and a question:
Mount Holyoke College, the oldest institution for the advanced education of women in the country (it began as a seminary in 1837), was dedicated to educating women to become intellectual companions to their missionary husbands. The idea was opposed locally (Massachusetts) and its founder, Mary Lyon, is often described as standing with her foot on the wheel of a farmer's cart, arguing that educating women was the right thing to do!
While most of us think of our educations as benefitting ourselves, isn't Mary Lyon's idea still valid? Aren't we better wives and mothers for having our degrees? Or doesn't it matter? Is self-education for our daughters enough? Is everyone in need of a college education?
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MacBeth in NY
Don's wife since '88; "Mom" to the Fab 4
Nature Study
MacBeth's Blog 
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Victoria in AZ
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MacBeth wrote:
| While most of us think of our educations as benefitting ourselves, isn't Mary Lyon's idea still valid? Aren't we better wives and mothers for having our degrees? Or doesn't it matter? Is self-education for our daughters enough? Is everyone in need of a college education? |
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Yes, yes, we are better individuals for having a degree. I stopped at obtaining a two-year college degree because I knew "all" I wanted was to be a wife and a mother. I still regret it and I still plan to pursue my four-year degree in due time. I will push dd to a four-year degree.
I will add another question: If one could, why NOT have a college education?
Dh has one year of college in. He does not trust colleges based on experience with his own siblings and national news. We have had private discussions where I urge him not to discourage the children, especially dd, from pursuing college degrees.
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Victoria in AZ
dh Mike 24 yrs; ds Kyle 18; dd Katie 12; and one funny pug
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amiefriedl
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Macbeth,
I for one, was waaaayyy to imature for motherhood/family life at the end of my public education k-12. My 5 years at a university, (Uof Cincinnati, College-Conservatory of Music, Trombone performance degree) was more like 'high school' for me. I learned to manage my life, made my mistakes and grew a great deal. But that was me....a public educated, pagan kid who was very self-absorbed. (still am, I'm afraid  )
I think college for a mostly-mature home educated young woman would still be helpful, as long as the school and situation was chosen carefully. VERY helpful to have a degree because of the life-skills aquired in the process, but not required. Depends on what the young lady thinks about it, obviously. And what the good Lord has in mind for her.
Certainly the considerations are a nail-biter for parents. Why NOT have a college education? College is a great place to lose your faith and more. As with all the steps out into the world, from toddlerhood to adulthood, the pros/cons must be carefully weighed by the parties involved with prayer. Money is almost always an issue, so is travel and living accomodations.
Thanks be to God my parents insisted I live at home for college. It was great financially and it was great for my safety, sanity et al.
A college educated wife/mother can be a great blessing to her husband and their children. The 'good' from those life-skills are a powerful ally. But my reservations are with the risks of the university environment to an innocent young lady. I didn't go into college 'innocent of the ways of the world' and I was still quite surprised with many things I saw. What might one of our home educated children think of the university environment?
I better stop here. I didn't follow the conversations from the other tread that Macbeth mentioned and I bet you guys covered a lot of this.
Thanks for the thread Macbeth!
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In Christ the King through Mary our Mother,
Amie
Blessed with an awesome hubby and Mom of ds10, dd7, dd3 and dd 10months.
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teachingmom
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This is an interesting topic. My thoughts are going in a number of different directions, so please bear with me.
I think college is valuable in and of itself, whether it ever leads to a paying job in a particular field. It is very difficult for most people to self-educate well. Even the best intentioned young woman, married with children or single and working, would have difficulties finding the time and energy for personal studies in an effort at self-education.
My own experience has made me a fan of a liberal arts education for the way it causes one to take classes in many different areas. It really broadened me. I took classes that I never would have thought of taking on my own, and am definitely the better for it.
I also think the experience of going away to college is very valuable. I learned independence in a rather safe atmosphere. Those years were wonderful life labs in interpersonal relationships--I made deep, lasting friendships with people whom I still love dearly. In the right circumstances, college can be a great source of continued Catholic faith and moral formation.
I agree with Amie that it allows students to grow in maturity. I was a very mature 18 year old. I was a committed Catholic who lived the moral teachings of the Church, and took my studies and work seriously. I was still definitely NOT ready for marriage and motherhood. I met my husband almost 10 years after graduating from high school. I was a very different person by then. Because dh and I were on the same page spiritually and morally, we avoided much of the heartache that I've seen in marriages in which one of the spouses is a committed Catholic and the other is a non-practicing Catholic, of another faith, or of no faith at all. (Please don't be offended and think I mean that all mixed marriages are a mistake. I just realize that it can be heartbreaking to fall in love with Christ and the Catholic faith and not be able to share that with one's beloved.)
I know of wonderful examples of long-term, loving marriages between high school sweethearts. But for the most part, I think that marrying young has to be much more difficult than waiting until after college and working a few years. (I don't know, would those of you who successfully married at a young age agree that there were extra difficulties that accompanied that route?) I honestly would have a very difficult time accepting the decision of one of my daughters to forego college in order to get married at 19 or 20.
And finally, we have a few extended female family members who did not get a college degree before marriage. Even in the best of those situations, it is hard to go back and do it later. In the worst--one became a widow and one was the vicim of divorce--getting a necessary degree later was a huge burden, took a long time, and caused a lot of hardship.
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~Irene (Mom to 6 girls, ages 7-19)
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Elizabeth
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| Posted: May 06 2005 at 2:27pm | IP Logged
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teachingmom wrote:
This is an interesting topic. My thoughts are going in a number of different directions, so please bear with me.
I think college is valuable in and of itself, whether it ever leads to a paying job in a particular field. It is very difficult for most people to self-educate well. Even the best intentioned young woman, married with children or single and working, would have difficulties finding the time and energy for personal studies in an effort at self-education. |
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 I was just thinking that I could really put a substantial dent in self-education by investing in just about everything in the Teaching Company catalog!I commented to Michael yesterday that those courses are far meatier than many of the course I was required to take in college.
teachingmom wrote:
| I also think the experience of going away to college is very valuable. I learned independence in a rather safe atmosphere. Those years were wonderful life labs in interpersonal relationships--I made deep, lasting friendships with people whom I still love dearly. In the right circumstances, college can be a great source of continued Catholic faith and moral formation. |
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For me, this wasn't the case. I saw and heard and was exposed to many things I wish I hadn't been. I know that you went to a state school in VA, just like I did Irene, but my experience sounds very different. I wasn't at all a partier--there at a school with a party reputation--and I didn't party. But I was distracted by all sorts of things and I was very much adrift. Maybe it was just a matter of being at the wrong school. It didn't feel that way at the time; I was very successful there. But I don't really feel like I was encouraged to be what I was created to be.
teachingmom wrote:
I agree with Amie that it allows students to grow in maturity. I was a very mature 18 year old. I was a committed Catholic who lived the moral teachings of the Church, and took my studies and work seriously. I was still definitely NOT ready for marriage and motherhood. I met my husband almost 10 years after graduating from high school. I was a very different person by then.
I know of wonderful examples of long-term, loving marriages between high school sweethearts. But for the most part, I think that marrying young has to be much more difficult than waiting until after college and working a few years. (I don't know, would those of you who successfully married at a young age agree that there were extra difficulties that accompanied that route?) I honestly would have a very difficult time accepting the decision of one of my daughters to forego college in order to get married at 19 or 20. |
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I agree with Amie too. I also think her idea of living at home is one to consider seriously. I was a mature 17 when I went to school. I'd always been fiercely independent, mostly by necessity as my parents were largely absent. How I would have benefited if I'd lived in a stable, Catholic home with mature experienced adults to guide me through those four years! Of course, I left a home that wasn't that at all, so it's sort of a moot point 
I married my high school sweetheart at 21. We have often wished we'd been able to marry while in college. It would have spared us both much grief and wasted time.Mike hadn't finished college when we got married. His last year was by far his strongest academically--we were far better together than alone. That we didn't marry earlier is really the only regret we have. We have a solid marriage and we are raising a healthy family--morally, spiritually and academically. In many ways, we grew up together and we have an understanding of each other that comes with doing that growing together. Our first few years of marriage were not difficult at all, particularly when I compare them to those of friends who married later and had a really hard time adjusting to merging two adult lives. For us, a life together is the only adult life we've ever known.
I had cancer by the time I was 23. I was glad to have a child already. I was glad to have experienced just a little bit of innocent "honeymoon"--a life-threatening disease in one's early twenties sort of robs you of your youth and leaves you and your spouse without peers.No one else our age was wondering about life and health insurance and no one else was really pondering eternity quite the way were. We were in it together, alone.
I also agree that it's important to consider how debt will affect a woman's ability to stay at home. I earned a full scholarship that had but one string attached: I had to teach in Virginia for two years. I never thought that would be a problem until I held my newborn in September of that second year. Those were the longest nine months of my life and I cried every morning as I left him at grandma's. I will strongly encourage my children to avoid college debt.
I know I always thought I'd go back and pursue further degrees and I thought I'd have done it by now. But now I understand that the education I've gained since leaving an institution has been far more valuable than the one to which a degree was pinned. I'm grateful for my university years; I really am. But they are just a part of the whole of who I am.
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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oxymom2002
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There is an great deal to be learned/experienced at college and no eduacation is ever wasted. I went to college and am preparing my son to go. (My daighter will not be attending college because of her disabilities.) Having said that I don't believe that college is for everyone - male or female. (I once shared this thought at a university meeting - it was not well recieved!) I also would never deny anyone access to education based on their gender, or nationality, or...
We live in a university community in the midwest and I am so saddened by all of the kids who come to town and party/float/and sometimes sink here. Underage drinking is a HUGE problem in our community and it is very clear that many of the students aren't here to learn.
There are many less expensive, less dangerous ways to learn to be mature thoughtful adults. I think that one of the benefits of homeschooling is that my son will have time to explore careers and interests before he commits to college. Hopefully, if he attends he will attend to learn.
Blessings,
Theresa
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mary
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This is something I have thought about many times.
I think education is valuable. I'm sure I would be a completely different person without my college education. That said, I don't think each and every person should/must go to college. It was a beneficial experience for me. My parents weren't involved in my life and so the professors provided mentoring that I desperately needed. I managed to work and get scholarships and thus incurred no undergrad debt. I lived at home and didn't party and I hadn't met anyone I wanted to marry and so I really had nothing better to do with those years. Same is true for my MS. I didn't marry my dh until I was almost finished with my PhD. Perhaps if I had known he was waiting for me, I wouldn't have continued on, but who knew?
By the time we married, I needed to finish so that I could work to repay my NIH scholarship. And, I had incurred some debt from living expenses. So, I worked, had my first baby at 32 and played pass the baby with my dh for 2 very hard years. I paid off my loans, quit working and began hsing. Having children later limits the size of my family. Having debt meant that I experienced being a working mom. On the other hand, I realized after teaching college that educating my own kids would be a dream job - all the fun and none of the grading! Would I have considered hsing at 25 - I don't know. My degrees are in biology/development and I sure do find the information useful when my kids are asking endless questions.
Going to college and working made being a SAHM easier for me. I'm not longing to go and do something more/else. I've already done that. This is my second profession. I don't have any "I wish I hads" about my life. I'm peaceful and happy with my path. I have a hsing mom friend who never finished college and it really bothers her. She is driven to complete that degree and is less sure of herself. I don't know if that's because she is young (28) or because she's insecure about her education.
I guess I think we ought to be flexible with regard to education and provide what we think each individual person needs. There are clearly drawbacks to college - the cost and sometimes immoral environment, but there are also some real benefits. I guess like anything else, it's a trade off and everyone has to decide what works best for them.
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Bridget
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MacBeth wrote:
While most of us think of our educations as benefitting ourselves, isn't Mary Lyon's idea still valid? Aren't we better wives and mothers for having our degrees? Or doesn't it matter? Is self-education for our daughters enough? Is everyone in need of a college education? |
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I didn't go to college. I KNEW I didn't want a career, I wanted to get married and have children. The funny thing is that we didn't get married till I was 27. God provided me with an excellent job as a teaching assistant in special ed classrooms till then.
I think the worth of a college ed. depends so much on the college. We live within an hour of 3 state universities. I am pretty familiar with their education departments since that is my DH's field. (He has several degrees.) One can hardly call what they offer 'education'. A more accurate term would be the indoctrination of liberal, feminist ideology.
U of M has, or will have, a requirement for graduation with any degree, a class called human sexuality. It is headed by the women's studies dept. It is basically a class on how to reject traditional marriage and be homosexual.
I'm sure none of us want these expereinces for our children.
My hope for my girls is that they will be called to be wives and mothers or have a religious vocation (which could require a college degree). So we will not encourage them to pursue college. If God calls them to higher education, for whatever reason, we will help them all we can and get them to one of the small, faithful Catholic schools.
There is a concept among conservative protestant circles that appeals to me personally. (I am not astute enough to know if there is a theological problem with this idea.) It is that a girl should go from the guidance and protection of her father to that of her husband. Naturally, sending her away to college would remove her from this protection.
The writers I have read on the subject are parents and the girls themselves. They all appear to be thoughtful, bright, Godly people. The girls look at their unmarried, adult years as a time of service to their families, churches and communities. The projects they take on are often writing, guiding teenage girls, home based businesses, helping their own parents... the list is endless, and impressive. To me these projects and this mind set seem much more worth while to their souls and society than most college degrees.
My only regret about my own formal education is my lack of ability to articulate my thoughts as well as some of the intellectual giants here. Fortunately, that can, at least a little, be improved upon with practice. 
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Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
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lilac hill
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I loved college.
I loved the independence and the chance to learn and not be stared at bacause you were the highly academic , shy superintendent's daughter in a rural school.
I loved making my own schedule and learning that I work best at 5 in the AM and not 1AM.
I went to work at McDonald's in the Bronx and met people who had always lived in an inner city and worked hard, and who would most likely never have the chance to attend college, full time without the obligations of home , children and full time employemnt.That taught me that for all its faults, my parents did the best they could in their marriage and family. Of course, I still wanted to fix that for them--pretty bold, wasn't I?
At Fordham I joined the crew team. Because I was away from my family and the roles we inevitably play, I could do something athletic not academic. The confidence of that experience led me to try ice skating, downhill skiing, framing walls and roofing ,owning sheep and yes homeschooling. I learned that the worse thing that could happen was failure, and the world did not stop turning when the sheep ate the shrubs (Rick was annoyed and the local farmer was amused) or I was the slowest on the easy ski slope.
The liberal arts education broadened my understanding of the world. It taught me to look at information from many points of view and to study, even when it was hard.
And I met Rick there. How lucky could a person be? We married a year after graduation and shared the rest of his schooling, slummy apartments, multiple jobs,rebuilding a farmhouse and my skiing--yes I am the woman you saw riding the ski lift to the bottom of the slope-that meant of course, I did not have to try to get back on the foolish thing!
My Catholic journey was not well started in college, but I believe some of the seeds were planted there. After 4 years I knew that I attended church because I wanted to, not because it would dissappoint my mother if I didn't. That was significant;it was MY choice and eventually it led me to where I am on that path today.
Next month Maggie graduates and will attend college in the fall. She is attending a small liberal arts college. Hopefully we have grounded her enough in what is important. But I wonder, am thrilled, am terrified at what she will discover. I pray that she will be as fortunate as I was.
Viv
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Viv
Wife to Rick (7/83), Mom to dd#1(6/87), dd#2(1/90), and dd#3(6/94) in central PA.
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Taffy
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Newbie jumping in here...
The answer to your question, MacBeth, depends entirely on what our daughters wish to pursue in life. Suppose our daughter wants to enter a medical field such as pediatrics, veterinary medicine, physical therapy, etc.? Not only are these pursuits difficult to self-educate for, one can't practice legally without the letters after your name!
When I entered university, there was no way that I wanted to be married or have children. It was incredibly stimulating to talk to someone about, say, biochemistry, and not be looked at as if I were from another planet! And I didn't find the culture at university to be much different from the rest of society but I didn't take many liberal arts courses either.
Can a mother be faithful to her family and still practice in a profession? I think so. One could work part-time and still be able to homeschool and be a faithful wife and catholic. Many women need the outside "shop talk" about things that their children, husband or other mothers may not be interested in or know enough to talk about yet.
And there's the practical needs as well. Death, illness and divorce are not infrequent occurences. Having a degree DOES make it easier for a woman to provide for her family's material needs should her husband refuse or become unable to.
In my own experience, having earned a degree taught me how to research scientific papers with ease and how to have confidence in talking to other professionals. When my oldest son was diagnosed with autism, this helped in that professionals treated me with respect from the beginning and I was able to be assertive when required. My sister, whose oldest son is also autistic, doesn't have a degree. Professionals are far more pushy towards her and, in the beginning, she was easily intimidated.
Is a college education necessary to life? No. One can make a very nice living and be intellectually stimulated without a degree. Should we prepare daughters to pursue one if they wish? Without a doubt, YES! Will they be tempted to fall away from the faith we bring them up with? Yes. Will they be exposed to things we'd like to protect them from? Yes. But all of these things can happen in the daily course of life anyway. It is only when we become challenged by difficult questions and circumstances that we will come to own our faith. All that we as parents can do is plant the seeds. It is up to our children and God to do the rest.
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Susan
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Elizabeth
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Dear Bridget,
I agree with so much of what you wrote! And I have had all the same thoughts. I can really see your point regarding the state of college campuses and I do have the same concerns.
Bridget wrote:
| If God calls them to higher education, for whatever reason, we will help them all we can and get them to one of the small, faithful Catholic schools. |
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I also wonder this, though. What if your daughter wanted to be a vet? Or what if she was called to nursing or midwifery? Or what if she wanted to pursue advanced study in computers or engineering? Those excellent small Catholic colleges don't provide that education. It's true that they could get an undergraduate education in the liberal arts at a Catholic college and then pursue graduate studies in the above fields at a bigger university, but that still puts them in a secular educational setting, just a little later.
Bridget wrote:
There is a concept among conservative protestant circles that appeals to me personally. (I am not astute enough to know if there is a theological problem with this idea.) It is that a girl should go from the guidance and protection of her father to that of her husband. Naturally, sending her away to college would remove her from this protection.
The writers I have read on the subject are parents and the girls themselves. They all appear to be thoughtful, bright, Godly people. The girls look at their unmarried, adult years as a time of service to their families, churches and communities. The projects they take on are often writing, guiding teenage girls, home based businesses, helping their own parents... the list is endless, and impressive. To me these projects and this mind set seem much more worth while to their souls and society than most college degrees. |
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This does sound appealing and I know that my husband would dearly love to provide that protection. My 8 yo wants to be a homeschooling wife and and mother. If she isn't called to marriage right away though (and it's highly likely she won't have found the man she is to marry by college age), she wants to get a degree in Montessori education. She wants to open a small school with both the academics and the atrium. She figures this education will come in handy when she is a mother. And she's right  There is official Montessori certification to be had at Loyola college in Baltimore. She'd get an education degree with a master's in Montessori. It would be a fine education. She could not live at home--the commute is formidable. Let's pretend for a moment that she was 18 instead of 8. Would we forbid her this education? Would we discourage her? She is influenced now by the vibrant Montessori education she sees in our parish. She has volunteered to be the aide in a 3-6 class so that a little girl with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome can be mainstreamed. She spends happy hours in an excellent Montessori school in the basement of a dear friend and gifted teacher, just "helping" and soaking in the atmosphere. Could this all be God's plan? Is he planting seeds? Even if, like me, she met the man she was to marry when she was 14, isn't it presumptuous to assume their marriage will be blessed with children? Think of how many children she could bless with that education! Think how much she could contribute to the culture of life!
And still, I find myself shuddering at the thought of her on a modern, secular (or nominally Catholic) campus.And I do hope I can pass her safely from the protection of her father to the protection of her husband. You've really raised some great points!There are no easy answers.
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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juliecinci
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Question: Why would girls need more protection than our boys? If one argues that we need to keep our girls under the father's care until she is married with a husband to protect her, I think you could make an even more vigorous case for protecting boys. Boys are far more likely to do drugs, drink, be sexually active and get traffic violations than college aged girls. They are also more likely to be influenced by peers. (This from various reading and insurance booklets... yes, we have a teen aged boy ).
To me, the key is to be raising kids who can withstand these pressures - both boys and girls. They will grow up eventually (in or out from under our care).
Julie
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Julie
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Elizabeth
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Great point Julie! We need to raise our boys to be strong and honorable men. I'd like to think that they would be so before they leave our homes. I know that at least one of my boys, if he continues to develop along his current growth curve, will not be nearly mature enough at 18. I don't plan to send him off until he is so mature.
I do think that there is something to be said for the traditional and biblical idea of a woman being a helpmeet and a man being the protector. It's a fallen world and we don't always see that ideal in real life, but it is something worth noting and praying about and considering when it comes to raising daughters..and sons. Does college guarantee that a man is well prepared to be a good husband and father? Does it make a woman a good keeper of her home and mother and wife? Should they be so prepared before they leave for college or will it happen somehow while they are there? How? Are we doing enough now in our homes and our parishes to prepare young men and women to live their vocations? All food for thought...
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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Bridget
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juliecinci wrote:
Question: Why would girls need more protection than our boys? If one argues that we need to keep our girls under the father's care until she is married with a husband to protect her, I think you could make an even more vigorous case for protecting boys. Boys are far more likely to do drugs, drink, be sexually active and get traffic violations than college aged girls. They are also more likely to be influenced by peers. (This from various reading and insurance booklets... yes, we have a teen aged boy ).
To me, the key is to be raising kids who can withstand these pressures - both boys and girls. They will grow up eventually (in or out from under our care).
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Yep, boys are a whole other concern. I was just trying to stick with my thoughts on girls.
I know my thoughts sound narrow and archaic. My children are not college age yet. I have no idea how things are going to pan out for them. Our primary goal is for them to seek God's will for their lives. I don't think that this necessarily always involves college, if it does we will do all we can to help.
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God Bless,
Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
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Taffy
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| Posted: May 07 2005 at 1:14pm | IP Logged
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What about protecting our boys? is an excellent question Julie! My dh would probably have raised that one right away. Dh is a teacher and hears frequently about how girls need extra "encouragement" in the maths and sciences so we should have segregated classrooms, teach more directly to girls, etc. Dh always asks "What about the boys?".
Personally, if I had been discouraged from pursuing a college education, I would have ignored my parents and gone anyway!
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Elizabeth
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Dear Bridget,
I don't think your ideas are archaic and narrow at all! I think they are thoughtful and forward-thinking in a culture that is not at all what it was when Mary Lyons uttered the quote MacBeth cited at the beginning of this thread. Our challenges are different from those of Ms. Lyons' day and they require that we ponder the purpose of higher education and the means to that education anew.
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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juliecinci
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Bridget, I hope I didn't imply that you are narrow and archaic. Not my intention. I'm very aware of the movement you cite among Protestants. Many of my P friends hold this view and live it out in front of me.
I forgot momentarily that this thread had been about girls especially. I think your post pushed a button of mine because I am hearing of boys in my homeschool world who are falling face first in their first terms at college (kids I know and love!) and only good things about homeschooled girls in college. In fact, of all the difficulties raised by moms with kids away from home that first year, I've heard more tragedies (moral choices, school suspensions, withdrawals and getting in trouble) from mothers of boys. I have yet to hear of troubles from any of my friends whose girls are away at college.
That has been alarming to me as my son is turning 18 in a matter of weeks.
So I found myself wondering if we are a bit overly confident in our boys, assuming they must be ready for college/independence by virtue of the fact that they are boys rather than assessing them as individuals with needs for support, nurture and protection too. I would assume that girls could be considered similarly - on an individual basis.
Hope that clarifies it for you. You didn't sound archaic. I was just offering a counterpoint.
Julie
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Julie
Homeschooling five for fourteen years
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momwise
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| Posted: May 07 2005 at 4:10pm | IP Logged
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Bridget wrote:
| I know my thoughts sound narrow and archaic. My children are not college age yet. I have no idea how things are going to pan out for them. Our primary goal is for them to seek God's will for their lives. I don't think that this necessarily always involves college, if it does we will do all we can to help. |
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No, no Bridget you don't sound archaic, just wise. It's so wonderful that you are thinking this out and seeking out God's will, something few parents do.
It seems that in homeschooling there are often more protestant sources of guidance for us to turn to.
There have got to be some Catholic writings we can use to guide us right? I know Dorothy Day had very definite ideas about educating women for domesticity. She looked for a long time for a place where her daughter could learn arts and crafts. She finally found a school; I believe it was in Canada. St. Edith Stein has written something about women's education, yes or no? I know I have a book written by a nun in the 40's or 50's on the Catholic education of young women. I'll try to find it and post the name. How about posting any other books or saints' writings that deal with this topic?
I would consider this though: Many of the young women who graduated homeschool the last 12-20 years here in our group are not married yet. 3 from one family went to St. Thomas Aquinas College and 2 of them became nuns, 1 is in nursing school (you're right Elizabeth, if you receive a Catholic liberal arts degree and want to have a career you still have to go to school). Another has been living at home and volunteering and perfecting her music skills while waiting for God's call. Still more girls from the Catholic schools are now teaching in our diocesan schools, living in lay communities, leaving for other countries as missionaries, etc. Some went to Steubenville or state universities and some didn't go to college. We even have had 2 forty-something (not homeschoolers)women consecrated by the Archbishop as Single Virgins Living in the World. I would look at this example and say that the Holy Spirit is doing a little of everything!!
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MacBeth
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Thought you might like to know the motto of Mount Holyoke (BTW, I am not suggesting that you send your daughters there...while it is first rate for a science education, it is suffering from a severe case of "diversity" with a new wicca group):
Psalm 144:12, "That our daughters may be as cornerstones, polished after the similitude of a palace."
These days, the joke is that there is a new motto: "Mary Lyon would cry."
While I entered the college as a liberal (thanks Mom and Dad! ), I left way more conservative, despite the liberal bombardment from every angle (except the science departments, where I spent most of my time). I saw many of my friends, including one room mate, become radical feminists, who sincerely believe that men are the ememy. I also saw many young women who stuck to their coursework and got an outstanding education. Catholic Mass was always well attended (packed, actually). So it is possible to come out of a leftist environment without feeling the effects too badly.
Anyway, I guess the question is, if we want our daughters "polished in the similitude of a palace," we must ask ourselves, what palace are we talking about? 
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MacBeth in NY
Don's wife since '88; "Mom" to the Fab 4
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: College Necessary for Girls?
