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jackiemomof7
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| Posted: June 26 2006 at 11:08am | IP Logged
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We dropped off my oldest dd at the convent of Benedictines of Mary Queen of Apostles yesterday. What a wonderful group of sisters, they are just so sweet. Kaylynn is spending 8 days with them to discern if she is being called there. But my other 2 dd have always shared a room with her and wanted me to sleep in her bed. It was so cute... they were scared to come right out and ask but I knew what they were thinking so I offered to sleep in there. They jumped on the offer quickly  . My husband who had already gone to bed before this last night. Found me and ask if everything was okay. I said yes, just loneliness. Later this morning he called and asked if I would be sleeping there all week and I said most likely. Kind of fun doing a camp out with "girls" only. But kind of sad. We all miss her and this is only an eight day stay. What will happen when she truly leaves us?? I have thought about letting the other two girls do a "Makeover" of the room? Any ideas what will help them through this transition when it comes?
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Jackie wife to Jim for 27!! years, proud army mom of Chris(25),Chef Matthew(24) and Sister Grace of Benedectines (21),Joshua(19),Nicholas(17),Jaymee(15), Elizabeth(13) and 2 in Heaven.Grandma to 3!
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JennGM
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| Posted: June 26 2006 at 12:39pm | IP Logged
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Jackie,
I'm the oldest of 7, with 5 girls, 2 boys. The boys were number 5 and 7.
Your post reminded me when my sister and I entered the convent, far away in Boston and my family lived in Louisiana. I was 16, she was 15. My time was short-lived (3 months), but my sister's was 5 years, It was hard on us leaving, but also hard on my parents and siblings. We were homeschooling, and very close-knit family. They missed us, maybe even more than we did them. We were in new surroundings, distractions. The ones at home had the constant reminder that we weren't there.
If and when your daughter joins, I have a few suggestions. One is don't give away all her stuff until she makes her final vows! Box up her belongings, or mark them with her initials so she can have them if she returns. That will make her transition back home easier and not feel like she was forgotten. I know you don't want to plan her NOT working out, but it's hard when a grand entrance turns out to be only a trial. Saving face is hard, but opening up the family where she left off helps greatly.
When she's there in the convent, have the girls write her often, pictures, drawings, different reports of what goes on. This helps both sides keep in touch. The one in the convent may not be able to write as much, but it helps to nurture the vocation to know she is loved and remembered back at home. And thinking of helping out their big sister helps the younger ones adjustments.
Perhaps before she goes your daughter can teach and designate tasks that she does at home to her younger siblings. If they are especially entrusted to her, it might make them feel special.
As far as a room, my mom took over our room pretty quickly. She made it into the school room for a while. But she carefully boxed up our belongings (like I said) and marked them so we knew which was ours. A makeover would be fun for the girls, since they will be in the room. Perhaps they could make a small altar to Mary and Jesus , put her picture in front to remind them to pray for her? I'd say light a candle, but I'm a little wary of fire in the bedrooms for younger ones!
Just a few ideas. Like I said, it's hard. It's not the same as matrimony, because the family circle widens, even if the couple moves away. The members of the family have to let go somewhat because their daughter has now become another member of the religious order family. She's not part of our family in the same way. It's too raw to leave the circle with the blank space open for too long...it doesn't help nurture the vocation. We had to close the circle a little and let her grow in her new family. Not sure if that makes sense...
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Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to  & ds1  '03 & ds2  '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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LLMom
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| Posted: June 26 2006 at 9:23pm | IP Logged
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Jackie,
Where are these nuns located? My 16 year old dd is interested in the religious life.
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Lisa
For veteran & former homeschool moms
homeschooling ideas
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LLMom
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| Posted: June 26 2006 at 9:31pm | IP Logged
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Jackie,
Where are these nuns located? My 16 year old dd is interested in the religious life.
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Lisa
For veteran & former homeschool moms
homeschooling ideas
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jackiemomof7
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| Posted: June 27 2006 at 9:33am | IP Logged
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Jenn,
Thank you for the wonderful post. I tried to answer it yesterday but my post didn't take.
I love your idea of an altar that is something I think they will really like to do. I thought about asking Mother Superior to write out a schedule for the day for them so the girls would know what Kaylynn is doing through out the day.
I did think about them taking over something when she leaves. We got Kaylynn a mini-lop bunny for part of her graduation gift. I thought that when she leaves the girls could take over the care of him and feel a connection to Kaylynn. (funny thing is that the bunny was born on the feast of St. Benedict and here she is checking into the Benedictines so of course his name is Benny!)
Your post was so insightful I really apperciate your thoughts on this.
Lisa, these nuns use to be in Pennsylvania, but recently moved to Missouri. They are a traditional order who has the Tridentine Mass and all the office is sung in Latin. They make vestments and altar lines for traditional priest. They pray for each priest as they make the vestments and then put them on their board to remember them in their daily prayers.
Thanks again for the ideas!
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Jackie wife to Jim for 27!! years, proud army mom of Chris(25),Chef Matthew(24) and Sister Grace of Benedectines (21),Joshua(19),Nicholas(17),Jaymee(15), Elizabeth(13) and 2 in Heaven.Grandma to 3!
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: dd's feeling lonely.....
