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ladybugs
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| Posted: June 22 2006 at 11:15am | IP Logged
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Hi, it's me again...
Some of you may remember last year when we had to put our children in a co-op due to some health concerns for me...well, I 'm doing better so we're bringing them back home.  One of the reasons for this is that I really, really love how beautifully they interact with one another (not always, but still....)
Anyway, I've told a family member who thinks it's not the best decision (even though dh and I agree) and while I know that I don't need anyone's approval, I feel weak in my confidence. I used to be the kind of person who just didn't care what you thought but I find myself more sensitive. I think this is for a myriad of reasons....we've endured a lack of support for our chosen lifestyle from the get-go. We struggle financially and live in a nice area where everyone else might be struggling financially, too, but there are images to be maintained (not us). I only have 4 children - 4 children - which really is not a lot but you'd think that that was a scourge. Additionally, because we struggle financially (single income in CA) I've been told, "I should just put the kids in school and go back to work to help my husband." I don't think people think what they're suggesting through because really, you just trade one set of stressers for another.
To me, this ties into the whole house image thread and body image thread because I've been affected by negative comments and sometimes it's just plain hard to shake those.
So, anyway, I just wanted to share and let you know that even though we are excited about bringing them home I have some hesitation only because I'd like to be built up instead of torn down and I feel that my confidence is shaky. We haven't even told dh's parents of the plan....  .
Thanks for listening....
__________________
Love and God Bless,
Maria P
My etsy store - all proceeds go to help my fencing daughters!
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guitarnan
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| Posted: June 22 2006 at 11:29am | IP Logged
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Welcome back home...and I know how you feel. Usually we're the only Catholic hs'ers in town. We're getting ready to move back to high-competition, high-income MD where we will once again be the weird folks with Mom at home, old cars, etc.
It has really helped me to be here at 4Rreal, to know that other Catholic moms worry about finances, body image, house organization, etc. Our military friends are nice, but for many of them, life is all about the $2K plasma TV (!) and the big McMansion that the spouse then won't leave...forcing the active duty husband or wife to go off to a duty station alone...how healthy is that??? At least here we're all starting from the 10 Commandments and the Beatitudes.
I'll offer up my move-in day stress and long drives for you tomorrow, Maria...please know that you're not alone with your worries and that you've been in my prayers since we "met" here at 4Real.
Hugs!
__________________
Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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Meredith
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| Posted: June 22 2006 at 11:31am | IP Logged
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Oh Maria, God Bless you and those beautiful children and your dh for being able to make this decision!!! I'm so happy for you and it will be so GREAT to have them back at home!
Remember ALL the reasons you love to home school and the lifestye that you and your dh have chosen for YOUR family, and it is YOUR family (not theirs)!!
Know that you are TOTALLY supported here and that I'll be praying for your confidence and encouragement in this blessed and Holy journey you are on.
....and BIG 
__________________
Meredith
Mom of 4 Sweeties
Sweetness and Light
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Angela F
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| Posted: June 22 2006 at 11:40am | IP Logged
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Maria,
Hugs and prayers coming your way 
I think you are doing exactly the right thing in coming here for prayers and support!!! If I were in your shoes, I'd be doing the same thing! 4Real is, for many of us I think, the place we come for that kind of support.
We're praying and pulling for ya!
God bless,
Angela
__________________
Mom to 7 blessings - welcome to Hanna Clare 1/19/10
"‘Great’ holiness consists in carrying out the ‘little’ duties of each moment."
St. Josemaria Escriva
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teachingmom
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| Posted: June 22 2006 at 11:45am | IP Logged
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Dear Maria,
You have been through so much in the past year (or more?). If God is calling you to keep the kids home full-time, then it is the right thing to do. Period. Please don't listen to those other voices. I know it's hard when they are family members or people you love, but you just can't listen to them.
Come here for the building up. We understand where you are coming from and why you make the decisions you make!
__________________
~Irene (Mom to 6 girls, ages 7-19)
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stefoodie
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| Posted: June 22 2006 at 11:59am | IP Logged
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Maria, I too come here for friendship and support when there's not much outside. I understand what it feels like when even people close to us bring us down with their comments about our chosen lifestyle. Will be praying for health and strength and confidence for you.
"I can do all things in Him who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13
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stef
mom to five
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lapazfarm
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| Posted: June 22 2006 at 12:25pm | IP Logged
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Maria,
I know how you feel. Just last week my own mother said "You've got such a great brain. Why are you wasting it raising babies?" and "When are you going to start living your life?" I don't know whether to  or 
Thank God I have my dh to support me and this wonderful board! It sounds like you have your husband's support as well and that is the number one thing! But it is so nice to know you can always come here, too!
__________________
Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
LaPaz Home Learning
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ladybugs
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| Posted: June 22 2006 at 12:40pm | IP Logged
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lapazfarm wrote:
Maria,
I know how you feel. Just last week my own mother said "You've got such a great brain. Why are you wasting it raising babies?" and "When are you going to start living your life?" I don't know whether to or
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Theresa,
That is similar to what I was told.
Before marriage and hs, I taught Spanish to 4,5,6 graders in a private, secular school. I was not a typical teacher and often deviated from the plans...Despite not being typical, I was nonetheless effective and the kids me.
My mom thinks that my kids should be at the co-op because I have alot to offer the kids there. Huh? What about my own children?
I belive that my children come first and while I do have gifts for other people's children, why don't mine matter as much? Does she think that by having them spend 6-8 hours a day with other people and have me exhausted at night that they'll still receive what I have to offer?
I'm not , am I?  AGH!
Thanks everyone for your encouragement. I think I need to look at things more positively. I'm a spiritual millionaire because I have lots to offer. Thank you, God.
__________________
Love and God Bless,
Maria P
My etsy store - all proceeds go to help my fencing daughters!
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ALmom
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| Posted: June 22 2006 at 12:59pm | IP Logged
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GK Chesterton had a wonderful quote : Why is it a large task to teach some small thing to someone elses children and a small thing to teach everything to your own ... etc.
This is very loosely paraphrased but I do remember identifying with his quote. Maybe one of the more knowledgeable moms with more brain cells still intact will recognize the quote and know which of his works it came from.
Also read an article once and ROFL. The mom was filling out a form and had been harrassed and discouraged all day with the comments of "Oh JUST a mom". So she in her bad mood, made up all kinds of fancy titles to describe what she does for the form - settling disputes among dc became an independent researcher in children's behaviour ..... It went on and on since there are so many different things we do - and the woman taking the information was fascinated and began asking how she could find a job like that!
By the way - if you ever wanted to tutor a small homeschool group in Spanish along with your own - let us know - we'd be willing to pay. We just finished paying a mint for a tutor for our oldest.
Anyways, GK Chesterton and this other article were great boosts after of day of negativity from the outside world. I think we all use this forum for support as well.
Janet
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Genevieve
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| Posted: June 22 2006 at 1:41pm | IP Logged
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lapazfarm wrote:
| "You've got such a great brain. Why are you wasting it raising babies?" and "When are you going to start living your life?" |
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I get this quite a bit too. My only defense is to shrug my shoulders and keep on reading books that affirm my decision to stay at home, homeschool and be open to children. As much as those comments may hurt you, you can be your own source of positive comments. Just keep on reminding yourself!
Lots of coming your way and know that you can always drop by this online community!
__________________
Genevieve
The Good Within
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aussieannie
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| Posted: June 22 2006 at 4:47pm | IP Logged
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ALMom wrote:
| GK Chesterton had a wonderful quote : Why is it a large task to teach some small thing to someone elses children and a small thing to teach everything to your own ... etc. |
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Janet, aren't all his quotes such clinchers!  I KNOW I have heard some gem like that and plenty others like it!
Maria, when these trials, in the form of other people's insensitive comments arise, bolster, remind and encourage yourself in all the good and logical reasons as to why you do what you do by listening to Chesterton in Educating the Uneducated, all his fabulous reasons on this subject are conveyed so powerfully and concisely! (give yourself a bit of 'ammunition' to effectively defend yourself and minister to them in their ignorance!)
__________________
Under Her Starry Mantle
Spiritual Motherhood for Priests
Blessed with 3 boys & 3 girls!
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ladybugs
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| Posted: June 22 2006 at 6:32pm | IP Logged
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Thanks everyone.
Maybe I'm just hypersensitive today. I know I'll enjoy listening to Chesterton, Anne. Thanks for reminding about his quote, too, Janet.
I appreciate all of the prayers and cyberhugs for this ladybug.
Right back atcha!
__________________
Love and God Bless,
Maria P
My etsy store - all proceeds go to help my fencing daughters!
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Lavenderfields
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Dearest Maria,
How wonderful that you can enjoy your young ones at home again. I am so very glad to hear this. You do such a fantastic job of schooling your kids, try to be proud of your abilities while talking to these other family members. You are the one who has to answer for they way your kids are raised, not them.
Say hi to all the kids for us and know that we will be praying for your well being.
God Bless
Robynn in Lancaster, CA
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Chari
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| Posted: June 23 2006 at 12:46am | IP Logged
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Lavenderfields wrote:
Dearest Maria,
How wonderful that you can enjoy your young ones at home again. I am so very glad to hear this. You do such a fantastic job of schooling your kids, try to be proud of your abilities while talking to these other family members. You are the one who has to answer for they way your kids are raised, not them.
Say hi to all the kids for us and know that we will be praying for your well being.
God Bless
Robynn in Lancaster, CA |
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And, Robynn? Don't you think if Maria and the kids went camping this summer.......Maria would feel A LOT!!!!!!! of support for her hsing decicion????
I was thinking so
Come on, Maria......we missed you last summer. there were NO fires to put out, no one sings like you do, not even Gloria ......DO COME!!!!!!
Praying for you!
__________________
Chari...Take Up & Read
Dh Marty 27yrs...3 lovely maidens: Anne 24, Sarah 20 & Maddelyn 17 and 3 chivalrous sons: Matthew 22, Garrett 16 & Malachy 11
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Willa
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| Posted: June 23 2006 at 1:21am | IP Logged
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Lavenderfields wrote:
| You do such a fantastic job of schooling your kids |
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Ditto, Maria
You have a gift for keeping home learning natural and creative. And with your children putting their creativity and energy into the mix, it seems to me that you have a synergy better than anything a school could offer.
I know it's difficult, with the pressure and being on the margin and therefore sensitive (been there).
I am so glad your health is better!
__________________
AMDG
Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
Take Up and Read
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Servant2theKing
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"It matters not if the world has heard, or approves or understands...The only applause we're meant to seek is that of nail-scarred Hands." B. j. Hoff
This quote remained taped to our refrigerator during the early years of our homeschooling. In October we mark the sixteenth anniversary of our homeschooling journey, and MOST of our family, friends, acquaintances and those we "meet on the street" STILL don't understand or approve of what we are doing. I think their responses are based upon their own experiences and choices in life. Often our decision to homeschool makes others feel that we are invalidating or criticizing their choice to utilize the school system. One of the MOST important things we can do for ourselves and others is to prayerfully and patiently respond to criticism with love and confidence in our own decisions.
Whenever possible, surround yourself with positive and uplifting people and resources that will encourage you in your homeschooling journey! Sites like this are a Godsend for moms who are often isolated or struggling from doubt or discouragement.
One of the BEST remedies of all is prayer. When you turn it all over to the Lord He will give you the peace and confidence you need to persevere in the wondrous mission He has given you of raising your children for Eternity!
__________________
All for Christ, our Saviour and King, servant
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ladybugs
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[QUOTE=Servant2theKing] "It matters not if the world has heard, or approves or understands...The only applause we're meant to seek is that of nail-scarred Hands." B. j. Hoff
Thanks for that quote, Servant! I said something similar to a friend of mine yesterday so it was good to see it here again. I know for me it's hard when all the voices are harsh amd uninvited and not affirming. So I came here.
I appreciate everyone's support and building me back up.
Thank you,
__________________
Love and God Bless,
Maria P
My etsy store - all proceeds go to help my fencing daughters!
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Lavenderfields
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| Posted: June 24 2006 at 11:11pm | IP Logged
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Chari wrote:
And, Robynn? Don't you think if Maria and the kids went camping this summer.......Maria would feel A LOT!!!!!!! of support for her hsing decicion????
I was thinking so |
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I absolutely agree with you. Camping with us would make anyone feel better I promise to bring the burn ointment!
God Bless
Robynn in Lancaster, CA
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ladybugs
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| Posted: June 26 2006 at 12:16am | IP Logged
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Lavenderfields wrote:
Chari wrote:
And, Robynn? Don't you think if Maria and the kids went camping this summer.......Maria would feel A LOT!!!!!!! of support for her hsing decicion????
I was thinking so |
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I absolutely agree with you. Camping with us would make anyone feel better I promise to bring the burn ointment!
Robynn in Lancaster, CA |
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Thanks, Robynn, Chari and Willa!
Guess where we went this weekend? We went camping at Dillon's Beach, CA! Oh, I the beach!
I must say a change of scenery does do wonders for the outlook! We left Fri night, set up camp and just returned home about 1 hour or so ago.
God, in His mercy was so generous. My children found a garter snake, toads, frogs, a sea star, some lovely, tiny sand dollars. Oh, the beach is paradise to me.
I haven't signed up for the Mt. Shasta trip and I imagine that my dh will be truckin' full-time by then and the Shasta trip is a BIG trip for me to consider because of my children's ages and I am a chicken (where's that icon?). But I appreciate so much your encouragement and compliments. Really.
I know you ladies will have a GREAT time, even without my family there to burn things and then sing about it....I guess that's a different kind of Real Learning!
__________________
Love and God Bless,
Maria P
My etsy store - all proceeds go to help my fencing daughters!
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Chari
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ladybugs wrote:
Guess where we went this weekend? We went camping at Dillon's Beach, CA! Oh, I the beach!
I must say a change of scenery does do wonders for the outlook! We left Fri night, set up camp and just returned home about 1 hour or so ago.
God, in His mercy was so generous. My children found a garter snake, toads, frogs, a sea star, some lovely, tiny sand dollars. Oh, the beach is paradise to me.
I haven't signed up for the Mt. Shasta trip and I imagine that my dh will be truckin' full-time by then and the Shasta trip is a BIG trip for me to consider because of my children's ages and I am a chicken (where's that icon?). But I appreciate so much your encouragement and compliments. Really.
I know you ladies will have a GREAT time, even without my family there to burn things and then sing about it....I guess that's a different kind of Real Learning! |
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Oh, MAN, I the beach, too! I bet I it more than you I got to grow up on the boardwalk in Venice 
anyway......you ARE chicken (remember, YOU said it first, NOT me  )..........did you see how many moms are coming with wee folks younger than yours???
DO think about it. We really want you to come!
The kids and I cooked our dinner, and went to the lake tonight for the first time this season.......and took a dip...even ME!!! .......and had a hot meal. What fun is that?! And, I even had a nice chat with Willa while I was there..........and left a message on Robynn's cell phone (she and I are playing TAG )
okay.....gotta go straighten up this house! Quick! before YKW comes home!
__________________
Chari...Take Up & Read
Dh Marty 27yrs...3 lovely maidens: Anne 24, Sarah 20 & Maddelyn 17 and 3 chivalrous sons: Matthew 22, Garrett 16 & Malachy 11
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Topic: Feeling unsupported
