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mom2mpr Forum All-Star
Joined: May 16 2006 Location: N/A
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Posted: Aug 13 2015 at 8:20am | IP Logged
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Hey ladies,
I just need to share and have people who understand ,well, understand.
Ds is starting his senior year of high school. We homeschooled the whole way, with a little help from various homeschool resources and dual enrollment. I am busily spending all my time completing his transcript and writing out course descriptions(ugh-from all 4 years of high school and 9th grade is a mess ). I realized last night, once I am done with this task--I am done!!! He is totally duel enrolled this year so....I am done?
I cannot write his college essays, or fill out his applications. I am an advisor now. Amazing!
It was a long and hard journey. I pulled this kid through the basics-I mean pulled. He is extremely bright but, oy! I am weary. We moved twice--and not at great times in the school career(try really hard NOT to move in high school--trust me on this-it was BAD). Job losses--ugh. But here I am, thinking back to that adorable, bright, smiley face at about 5 years of age. Wow!
Thank you God for all your goodness and blessings. Thank you for this board, which has been there the whole time
Some hints for those in the beginning of this journey-
*I heard it millions of times-keep good records!!! I did OK. I could have done better. You never know where you might move AND it will save you hours of time before senior year(and your other children with be happier because you are more available). Write your course descriptions starting in 8th grade EVERY year. Make a transcript starting in 8th. It will be easier than doing what I am doing now. Hopefully, this is only the hundredth time you have heard this.
*I tried super hard to make my own transcript-for about the past year, on and off. I have a Mac and I could find no templates for the Mac. Last week I broke down in exhaustion and purchased the HSLDA Fast Transcript service. DONE! Not exactly what I wanted but darn close. Gift from God--and HSLDA--you guys rock!
*If you are members, use HSLDA. I have e-mailed the high school counselors many times over the past year. They have helped with logistics/timeline, had great suggestions, gave me pep talks, and, having them there for this process gives me peace of mind. I didn't join until 2 years ago and am amazed at what I might have missed.
*Enjoy the journey. We probably did that a little TOO much BUT with our recent move and "adjustments" I am glad we did so some relationship was there to help ds through yucky stuff.
So, jump up and down with me. YOU get it! My family would be saying,"gosh, too much work. I am glad I let the schools take care of the transcript and all." I need some support(and other people jumping up and down with me ) to sit down and finish this "work."
Thank you!!
__________________ Anne, married to dh 16 years!, ds,(97), Little One (02), and dd (02).
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Booksnbabes Forum All-Star
Joined: July 20 2008 Location: N/A
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Posted: Aug 13 2015 at 10:00am | IP Logged
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You can finish! Well done, mom!
__________________ Wife to wonderful DH, mom to SIX beautiful gifts from God!
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SallyT Forum All-Star
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Posted: Aug 13 2015 at 10:14am | IP Logged
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God bless you. And congratulations.
Yes to everything you said. YES to good records. You will thank yourself for keeping track of everything! I actually had my most recent high-schooler keep a booklist of things he read on his own time, and even though he did it kind of sketchily, I found I was able to create basically a whole other literature course, plus politics, government, history, etc, out of things he had read on his own. It made for a very thorough transcript.
And with regard to transcripts -- yes to not reinventing the wheel if you don't have to. You don't have to use a grade-recording service, for example, but the one we use (Homeschool Reporting, ) has been well worth the $20 yearly subscription -- AND it generates transcripts with GPA calculated. Saved me many headaches at college application time, twice now.
I actually start keeping grades in 7th and have counted *some* things my kids have done in 7th and 8th for high-school credit. For example, my rising 7th grader is starting a life-science course that we'll do over two years, and when he's done, I will grant high-school credit for life science: a half-credit this year, a half-credit next year. If for no other reason, treating a 7th grader like a high-schooler-in-training helps acclimate MOM to the idea of high school -- it's not a great feeling to wake up the week before somebody's in 9th grade and think, "Oh! We have to do high school now!" 7th grade is a good time to start thinking at least three moves ahead, like in chess -- not just "what are we doing this year?" but "how is what we're doing this year going to set us up to do the next thing, and the next?" Having an idea of a scope and sequence that's going to segue into high-school work, and thinking in advance about that scope and sequence -- what history cycle? what literature cycle? science? math? -- can alleviate a lot of, "OK, so what is tenth grade supposed to be about?" You might still have to plan tenth grade, but having a good idea of the big picture and how tenth grade fits into it can make that process so much easier than trying to make up each year at a time.
We moved our first high-schooler once, and I agree, it was awful, even doing it only the one time and without the added stress of job losses. I totally concur: unless there's no other way, and I mean NO other way, DON'T move teenagers! (but God's grace is sufficient . . . ). Meanwhile, you have obviously done a fabulous job under a whole lot of duress. God has had you in the palm of His hand, but *you* have had the courage and diligence to keep going when it wasn't easy.
Congratulations again. To get to the point where someone is functioning academically on a high level out of your house is titanic, and a huge turning point. Enjoy your new and different year!
God bless,
Sally
__________________ Castle in the Sea
Abandon Hopefully
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motherheart Forum Rookie
Joined: May 24 2011 Location: California
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Posted: Aug 13 2015 at 2:46pm | IP Logged
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Hi Anne,
My oldest is going into his junior year and he will have dual enrollment for the first time. Making his transcript is on my to do list.
Congratulations to you both! It is a long but worthwhile journey.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience and advice. I need to hear it right now.
Thank you.
__________________ Mary
Mom to ds 16, dd 14, dd 13, ds 9, ds 6, and 4 in Heaven
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jawgee Forum All-Star
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Posted: Aug 13 2015 at 3:47pm | IP Logged
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Congrats, mama!!
__________________ Monica
C (12/2001), N (11/2005), M (5/2008), J (8/2009) and three angels
The Catholic Cup on Facebook
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mom2mpr Forum All-Star
Joined: May 16 2006 Location: N/A
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Posted: Aug 13 2015 at 11:08pm | IP Logged
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Awwww...thanks ladies....I knew people here would send awesome emoji's to cheer me on!! And kind words and blessings...yeah, I like it here :)
Yes, Sally is probably right. 7th grade probably isn't too early to start. And honestly, once you get in the rhythm, it probably gets easier and doing it every year is KEY!! I have a 7th grader and she will have grades this year.
And Mary, get on that soon. Really. The transcript was on my "to do" list since 8th grade. The course description just came up because some of the schools ds is applying to want it. So, I figure, as everyone told me for many years, it's also a good thing to have to back up the transcript. Learned that for dd--I am on it!
I am almost done. Thanks for the encouragement.
__________________ Anne, married to dh 16 years!, ds,(97), Little One (02), and dd (02).
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SeaStar Forum Moderator
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Posted: Aug 14 2015 at 6:03am | IP Logged
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I love to hear greta stories like this- I hope you do something fun to celebrate!
__________________ Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
SQUILT Music Appreciation
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Aagot Forum All-Star
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Posted: Aug 14 2015 at 9:54pm | IP Logged
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Congratulations Anne!
So Anne and Sally (and anyone else who would like to chime in)
If you had the choice, which would you do (knowing how hard it is to move teenagers). At this point, this scenario is only hypothetical.
1. Move 3 teens half way across the country because Dad is changing jobs.
2. Let Dad take a small apartment for a year in the hopes that after that he could telecommute from current home.
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guitarnan Forum Moderator
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Posted: Aug 14 2015 at 11:50pm | IP Logged
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We are in year 2 of what we Navy folks call a geo-bachelor experience. (Your option 2.) It is expensive, which is a huge drawback. The Good Lord provided a windfall at this time last year which has helped us survive financially, but I would not want to do this forever as we can't save for the future while maintaining two households. It is very difficult to be so far away from my husband, and he suffers even more being away from us because he is an extravert.
Having said that, we know we are doing the right thing for us, at least for this past year and the upcoming school year. Moving our Dancing Daughter during her senior year would have been devastating to her on many, many levels. She will be living at home this fall and starting community college (she is a year ahead of her age in school, so this is the best choice for her, and we are glad she figured this out on her own), so uprooting her this summer would not have been a good idea, either. Next year...up for grabs.
Without taking a position, here are some things I suggest that your family think about as you discern:
1. Would moving completely disrupt a teen's plan for his/her future? This applies to us as our daughter knows what she wants to study in college, but she also wants to become a certified dance teacher, and she is being mentored by her current teachers. Moving would derail that train.
2. Would paying for Dad's small apartment devastate you financially? Would it stretch you financially? If a financial emergency occurred, could you handle it and still pay Dad's rent?
3. What would happen if the telecommuting option does not materialize? Would Dad's company still pay to move you all so you could be with him, or does that option expire once he settles in the new city? (We're military, and the rules on moves/shipments/storage are very clear to us, but civilian companies set their own rules. Were I you, I would want to have those rules in writing in case you go for option 2 and then move to be with Dad a year later. Knowing who pays for what, and when, can be a deal-breaker.)
4. Where are you in relation to your extended families? Do your family members expect you to be home for certain events or holidays? How will you handle this under each option? Can you afford to go home as often if you move? Will your family members understand?
5. If you go with option 2, how will you keep Dad connected with the rest of you? Can you afford to fly him home for special events? If the telecommuting option does not work out, can you afford to keep flying him home for another year? Two years? Three years?
6. If you go with option 2, at what point will the rest of you move to be with him if he can't telecommute? If you own your home, what will you do with it?
7. If you go with option 2, how will you handle car repairs, home repairs, lawn mower repairs, heavy lifting and all the other things your husband does to maintain your home, yard, vehicles, etc.?(And finances, if he manages them.)
I apologize if these questions sound harsh. They are based on my experiences now and in the past. They are questions I ponder regularly, because I live in the geo-bach world.
I can't tell you what I would do in your situation (I don't know the ages of your children or how committed they are to activities/sports/educational plans/other things in your local area), but I can tell you that we've done it both ways and there is no good answer. Asking Dad to move away without your loving support, knowing it might be for much longer that one year, is a big deal. He will have to struggle to do the things you do for him now (groceries, dry cleaning, errands, etc.) and try to fit that in around his work schedule. Depending on location, that's not always easy. He will miss all the birthdays and special occasions your family celebrates unless he is close enough to be able to drive home for them. On the "home front," you will have to do all the things he has always done for you (and sometimes those things turn out to be expensive, e. g. oil changes with synthetic oil, as we have discovered). The house, yard, cars, etc. will all be your responsibility, on top of everything you do now.
I can also say that, knowing what I know now, I would do it this way again...but we are operating under very special circumstances. If it were a case of changing high school baseball teams or Boy Scout troops (compared to a specific style of dance with opportunities to teach and to study for the certification exam), moving would be a much more attractive option.
__________________ Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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SallyT Forum All-Star
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Posted: Aug 15 2015 at 9:10am | IP Logged
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Wow, yes. I think Nancy's parsing of that part of this particular situation is really good, and probably more useful than "just don't move." Those are real and serious questions to ponder and use in prioritizing.
It is hard. And teenagers just seem not to rebound as easily as younger kids do -- they don't want to go out and make new friends and start new activities. They want *their* friends and *their* life. Sometimes circumstances mean you just have to go anyway, but it's a tough time of life in which to do it.
Sally
__________________ Castle in the Sea
Abandon Hopefully
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Aagot Forum All-Star
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Posted: Aug 15 2015 at 10:08am | IP Logged
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Thanks Nancy,
that was very helpful! And yes Sally, sometimes they just have to deal with it. I would have enjoyed the move in their shoes but I think they will hate it.
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SallyT Forum All-Star
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Posted: Aug 15 2015 at 1:40pm | IP Logged
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I know. Reality is what it is.
Sally
__________________ Castle in the Sea
Abandon Hopefully
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mom2mpr Forum All-Star
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Posted: Aug 15 2015 at 7:40pm | IP Logged
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Nancy brings out some great points. We did the same type of discernment process, but not nearly as organized
We did split the family for 6 months. Ds had just started at a homeschool Classical Christian "school" three days a week and to pull him in January would have been really hard. Mostly for me, because it was an awesome place(great families and academics) and I could find nothing similar in our new area. Dh needed to start ASAP because he had been out of work for months.
It was hard. It was winter. I was doing it all alone. Ds could plow and shovel but dealing with the bitter cold and freezing pipes and furnace dying--ugh. And dh was warm and toasty at the other end of the country.
We made a "plan" and stuck to it. So, June 1 was our moving date. Gosh, we were saying goodbye for months. THAT was hard.
So, that was our experience. I think, because you have 3 teens, it might be easier. They will have each other. My 2 kids are 5 years apart. And developmentally, at that time, they were light years apart in maturity. So, they were alone when we moved and ds, having just had a "school" experience and a squad of peers, was so lonely--and dd just didn't cut it. And he left with an awesome attitude realizing he would have left in 2 years for college anyhow. Go figure.
Dd did great. Found sweet homeschool friends and is happier here than she was at our old digs.
Good luck.....
__________________ Anne, married to dh 16 years!, ds,(97), Little One (02), and dd (02).
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guitarnan Forum Moderator
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Posted: Aug 15 2015 at 9:44pm | IP Logged
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I only *look* organized. It's been a huge muddle, in reality.
__________________ Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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