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lapazfarm
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| Posted: May 07 2006 at 11:29am | IP Logged
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I have always cooked most of our meals at home, but meals have been pretty basic, due to a lack of knowledge and expertise on my part. Inspired by all you ladies and your cooking blogs, and my own need for healthier, more flavorful foods, I have been trying very hard lately to make better, more varied meals for my family.
Here is the problem: Just about every new thing I try is met with resistance by approximately half of my family. If it were all of them at once I could just say, "Well, this recipe doesn't work for us, I'll try another." But most recipes half of them like and half don't and it is never the same half! the only things that please them all are the old stanbys that I am sick to death of (Beans and rice, chicken and pasta, mac and cheese).I don't want to give up on cooking more varied meals, but it is so frustrating and disheartening. Plus, so much food is just going to waste...
So...what do you do when half of your kids don't like whats for dinner? Do they sit there and eat it anyway (I have awful memories of being made to do this as a child)? Do you serve alternate meals for those who don't like it(seems unfair to me to have to do this)? Do they just have to go hungry (I don't think this is a great option, either)? And this does not even address the times when dh doesn't care for a meal. He's not a very adventurous eater, either, and would be happy with the same old thing over and over.
It is enough to make me give up and order pizza every night!
Any ideas?
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Theresa
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8kids4me
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| Posted: May 07 2006 at 11:38am | IP Logged
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I have 8 kids, and the ONLY thing they can agree on is burritos! Probably because they have some choice in what goes on the one they eat. I too have memories of being made to eat foods I hated  , so now when I make something and someone doesn't like it, they have to at least eat a few small bites, they don't have to eat a lot. I just want them to try new foods. Also, once one of my kids gets to be about nine or ten, they are allowed an exclusion. One food, that never changes, that they do not have to eat when it is served. My oldest chose brocolli, the next chose peas, the next cooked carrots(though he loved them raw), and so on. It made them feel like they had some control over what they ate, which might have been the bigger issue.
good luck on this one! don't give up on the healthier foods, it will all work out.
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JennGM
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| Posted: May 07 2006 at 12:38pm | IP Logged
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I only have 1 child, but I'm having harder time pleasing dh. I can't branch out too much in our cooking. He's got certain issues or objections that I can't experiment all the things I want to try.
So if he does approve, it's in the recipe vault forever.
I can't imagine having finicky kids to please, too.
No answers here, Theresa...sorry.
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mary
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| Posted: May 07 2006 at 1:13pm | IP Logged
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i have 3 picky kids. i try to make a healthy dinner with a protein, starch and 2 veggies. my kids must try a few bites of every food. if it's absolutely repulsive to them, they can make a pb&j sandwich and 3 cherry prunes (we have prune needs. ) generally, they will like at least half of the meal. i find that if i make one dish meals, they are hit or miss and generally not healthy. those meals tend to be heavy on carbs and low on veggies, which is what my kids need to be eating! also, if they are involved in the dinner in any way (growing, buying, cooking the food) that increases the chance that they will eat dinner.
this week i'm trying the menus4moms menu because i need a little planning with ball games/practices almost every evening.
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ALmom
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| Posted: May 07 2006 at 1:21pm | IP Logged
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One thing I do when trying a new recipe - or when one of the older dd does (which happens more because I am a lousy cook and overwhelmed most of the time with other things), is that we plan a menu around the new item. For instance, when I try bean recipes, I'll be sure to make plenty of veggies and mac and cheese to go with it. Then dc may only eat the requisite tiny spoonful of beans - but then they could fill up on mac and cheese and still get protein. What often happens is that offering something that most like over and over - even if they are not required to eat much of it (and once they have tried it a few times, we don't make an announcement about changing the rule but I may ask if they would like some and accept a no thank you answer) - they will sometimes develop a taste for it.
I try not to make main course meals that dh doesn't like but sometimes will make a side dish - like okra. He will eat a tiny bit by way of example. (He's a great guy, what can I say!) I also try not to regularly cook stuff that a large number in the family don't like - but will occassionally. I also have family in town and we sometimes trade our experiments so that they don't go to waste.
Another thing that happens in our family is that certain things get picked out of certain dishes - green peppers and mushrooms out of my stir fry by some of younger dc - and I generally ignore it or dc pass it on to someone who is a fan of green peppers and mushrooms.
We become sticklers for the tiny taste rule when we see a pattern of just being picky developing. Ie a toddler that refuses everything but hot dogs - but we know there are no real dislikes of many of the foods suddenly being refused.
Another way we have expanded our tastes has been to get recipes from people who have made us meals or had us over for dinner and most of ours liked it.
I'm trying to think if I've ever made a meal that I disliked but that most everyone else likes? Funny, I cannot think of anything. Sometimes I'll make stuff I'm tired of (or is a pain to cook) because dh really wants it or the majority of the family place a request. My mom regularly cooks fish for my dad even though she despises fish. Ah, yes, I make eggs, bacon and sausage on Sunday. I tasted the sausage but cannot eat it (I taste it all day long) so I stick with other stuff - but do eat eggs which I don't really care for that much. So I guess we have a general rule of trying new things, but do not generally strictly enforce always eating everything unless we see abuse. We are generally quite flexible. However, I do not allow people to make their own and bring to table as a substitute for what is served because it would result in chaos and is bad manners. I also train the dc not to say something is yucky but to simply say no thank you when it is offered. I do make sure there is sufficient quantity and variety on the menu to make sure there is something that will suit everyone's tastes, even if we have to have a number of little side dishes.
I guess, one thing I would say is set the example - whatever requirements you hold dc to, follow it yourself.
Janet
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Alcat
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| Posted: May 07 2006 at 1:24pm | IP Logged
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I totally understand what you mean  I finally came up with a solution for our meal issues.
I always try to make sure that there is something on the plate for everyone. My 4yo is my pickiest right now, he hates chicken so I give him a few tiny pieces he must eat (like two) and make sure there is a side he will eat (like mac n' cheese). I make sure the sides vary like oven roasted potatoes, pasta, mashed sweet potatoes, rice... you get the idea.
I also make sure that everyone has a veggie or fruit on the plate that they will eat. Last night we had broccoli ds4 and dh hate steamed broccoli so there was left over salad for them... I don't put myself through the ringer over these things I just try to plan ahead or else I do fall into that terrrible meal rut.
My rule is no complaining about what is being served. You don't have to like it, but you do have to try it (unless it make you throw-up that happens with green beans and the 4yro). I have found that when people loudly complain it makes the others dislike the food too. So, they must be nice to mom who spends WAY too much time in the kitchen to hear "Eeeewwwww!!! This is disgusting!" 
God Bless,
Alison
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folklaur
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| Posted: May 07 2006 at 2:49pm | IP Logged
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My ds7 has Asperger's, and along with it, severe sensory issues. Many, many foods will make him throw up. SO he is beyond picky when it comes to eating. (Pre-children, and honestly, even with our first, I had always been of the opinion of "eat-what-is-served" mentality. Then God gave me a special one, who really can't, and I have had to adjust my thinking )
They kids may have PB&J or hard boiled eggs & fruit if they don't like dinner. I always have those things on hand and ready to go. The other two kids will usually try something without complaint. I try to make something I know ds will eat (and like if I am making soup - which he won't go near -- too many textures and flavors together -- I will pull out the chicken, and keep aside a few carrots raw etc, so he is eating the same things, just not all togther. Does that make sense? If something is going to have a sauce, I just pull out his chicken pre-sauce and put it aside, keep his veggies raw while I steam teh rest, things like that.
Also, I am lucky in as much as dh will eat most anything - except mushrooms, which he is allergic to , - and will take any left over food for lunch the next day, so it doesn't get wasted.
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Erin
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| Posted: May 07 2006 at 11:14pm | IP Logged
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Theresa
I have this issue every meal After trying various methods, I decided enough was enough. I was never going to please this many people all at once. Particularly ds6 who rejects 95% of meals. I now tell them that they must try 5 mouthfuls if it is something new, then if they still don't like it they can have bread and butter. It is amazing but some meals previously rejected are slowly being accepted.
We score all new meals out of 10 If they rate more than 7 by the majority we try again, otherwise it is not cooked again. Incredibly the other night I had a meal scored 10 out of 10 by everybody  (It was a potato bake) 
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lapazfarm
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| Posted: May 08 2006 at 12:16am | IP Logged
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Thanks for the ideas and encouragement, ladies. I think I will keep on trying to add variety in the main course, yet offer "same-old" sides so they can fill up on those if they don't care for the main dish. We'll see how that works.
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Erin
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| Posted: May 08 2006 at 4:11am | IP Logged
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Theresa,
I meant to sggest that when menu changing, I will introduce no more than 2 new dishes per week 
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mary
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| Posted: May 08 2006 at 7:21am | IP Logged
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Erin wrote:
We score all new meals out of 10 If they rate more than 7 by the majority we try again, otherwise it is not cooked again. Incredibly the other night I had a meal scored 10 out of 10 by everybody (It was a potato bake) |
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we score our meals too! i'd love to get a recipe for a meal that scored a ten - would you post it?
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kristina
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| Posted: May 08 2006 at 8:43am | IP Logged
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Theresa,
I could have written your post. I have been on the "healthy meals mission" for the past few years. We have six fussy palates in our house - beginning with Daddy! He does not like anything in a crockpot, no casseroles or cooked vegetables. He has been good about taking his "no thank you bites" in front of the children, though .
Sometimes I think our children's fussiness is authentic and sometimes it is that they are just being picky because they can be. If they have snacks in the afternoon, they pick at their dinner.. sigh. So if I am serving something new for dinner, I try to give them a light lunch and just maybe a sliced apple for snack, stacking the odds in my favor.
If I like the dinner and it was not a big hit with everyone else, I have it for lunch the next day. Sometimes just the fact that it is in "Mommy's Bowl" makes whatever it is more appealing to our children and they end up gobbling it up . I also often freeze leftovers to have on a smorgasbord dinner night -- defrost a bunch of different leftovers when there is not enough of each type to serve the entire family.
I admit that on occasion, there are nights where we offer two different main courses. My husband will make burgers for himself and our son who does not care for pasta or rice. The rest of us will have garlic pasta or some other simple dish. Yet we all have a salad or veg to go with, unifying our meal.
Blessings,
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chrisv664
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| Posted: May 08 2006 at 9:42am | IP Logged
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Theresa,
I think every mom of a large family has these issues with meal planning. If I tried to only serve what every one liked we would eat pizza every other night and chicken nuggets on the off night! Most of the advice I could offer has already been mentioned, offer the old standbys along with your new dishes and don't try to overhaul your family's diet all at once, just one or two new things each week.
Your comment about pizza was funny because last night I made four pizzas for my family. One was just regular for the less adventuresome, the rest were more interesting, like spinach, brocolli, tomato w/basil and red peppers. It was a huge hit, with so much variety, everyone was happy. Living on Long Island, we have the best pizza in the world, so I admit I stole my ideas from the local pizza parlor!
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stefoodie
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| Posted: May 08 2006 at 10:04am | IP Logged
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we do ratings too and i've started posting stars/ratings on my blog -- here at our house i KNOW not everyone's going to be pleased all the time, that's because sometimes i'm too adventurous for them LOL. when i cook there's always rice (we're asian), a meat or fish or other protein dish like tofu, and a veggie dish. if i'm feeling particularly energetic there will be salad/soup. they *have* to try out the veggies. if it's one i already know they like, they have to have at least ___ pieces (whatever their age is). if they absolutely like nothing, they can have cereal after everyone is done with dinner. 2 reasons for this: 1) i'm not going to get up and prepare them something else just because they don't like what's already on the table. 2) it gives them a chance to change their mind because they're watching us eat. usually the 7-yo who's the hardest to please will say, "okay, maybe i'll try ___". when he does this the 4-yo will usually follow suit.
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Erin
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| Posted: May 08 2006 at 11:44pm | IP Logged
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mary wrote:
| we score our meals too! i'd love to get a recipe for a meal that scored a ten - would you post it? |
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Mary
It was a potato bake. How I make it is quite simple, I slice all the potaoes in the food processor (after peeling) then mix a packet of French Onion Soup with 600ml of cream, you lay the potatoes in layers on the tray then drizzle the cream over the top, bake in a hot oven for 1hr. If you wish you can add bacon pieces.
We have this as a main with some side vegetables. So actually depending on family size you may need to make two trays if you have it as a main.
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mary
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| Posted: May 09 2006 at 6:12am | IP Logged
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thanks erin!
i am trying out the menus4moms this week and so far (it's only been one meal ) my family was happy with the what we ate. here's hoping they feel the same about tonight's keilbasa stew!
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ShawnaB
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| Posted: May 09 2006 at 9:49am | IP Logged
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SO many good ideas! Thank you, Thank you! My dc are very young, so we still have a good amount of control about who may and may not be "finished" with a meal. Meal preparation is a real sacrifice for me right now (as I'm SURE it is with many of you!), with 2 babies usually crawling around my feet and taking things out of the cupboard  , so the obligatory "EEWWW, I don't want that!" is not a very welcome sound around my table!
My best trick for better eating is making sure my kids are HUNGRY when they come to the table. Its amazing how much more agreeable they are to eating the healthy stuff when they have a genuine appetite. This can mean that I really have to stand my ground during the 4:30-5PM hour to hold off on snacks, and I usually serve dinner early. I've found it better to sometimes serve dinner to my littles before dh comes home, in order to preserve their appetites. I'd rather have an early dinner than lots of snacks leading up to picky eaters at a late family dinner.
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Cay Gibson
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| Posted: May 09 2006 at 10:40am | IP Logged
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Erin wrote:
It was a potato bake. How I make it is quite simple, |
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Erin,
You're a lifesaver.
I was left with two freezer bags of boiled potatoes after our Graduate's Crawfish Boil this past weekend.
I didn't know what I was going to do with them.
Prayers answered...
Thanks!
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Cay Gibson
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Sarah
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| Posted: May 09 2006 at 7:36pm | IP Logged
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In our house, there are no special menus. I've seen this get out of hand in some households.
I don't make the kids eat it either. No forcing. I do encourage several bites before giving up. I usually have them take as many bits as they are in age.
If 3/4 of the house hates it, its not going to be a repeat.
Texture plays a big part too. Some kids don't like squishy--like onions. In fact, I make the dishes more child friendly. Most of my kids have onion issues, so I either omit them or make them really big so they can easily pick them out.
Another thing is to watch the snacking because it will seduce their appetites. Hungry kids will eat more of a questionable meal. And after dinner my kitchen is closed to big ordeals--I do allow apples, or simple type snacks within reason.
What were some of the dishes your kids hated. What did they hate about them?
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: family meals issue
