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ladybugs Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2005 Location: California
Online Status: Offline Posts: 3732
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Posted: April 25 2006 at 9:59pm | IP Logged
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Hi Friends,
I thought I'd start a thread where we could share jokes...
Here's one:
A poor man walking in the forest feels close enough to God to ask, "God, what is a million years to you?"
God replies, "My son, a million years to you is like a second to me."
The man asks, "God, what is a million dollars to you?"God replies, "My son, a million dollars to you is less than a penny to me. It means almost nothing to me."
The man asks, "So God, can I have a million dollars?"
And God replies, "In a second."
__________________ Love and God Bless,
Maria P
My etsy store - all proceeds go to help my fencing daughters!
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KC in TX Forum All-Star
Joined: Aug 05 2005 Location: Texas
Online Status: Offline Posts: 2621
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Posted: April 25 2006 at 10:04pm | IP Logged
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Too funny.
__________________ KC,
wife to Ben (10/94),
Mama to LB ('98)
Michaela ('01)
Emma ('03)
Jordan ('05)
And, my 2 angels, Rose ('08) and Mark ('09)
The Cabbage Patch
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Patty Forum Pro
Joined: March 27 2005 Location: Kansas
Online Status: Offline Posts: 170
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Posted: April 26 2006 at 12:42am | IP Logged
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I loved this one! Enjoy!
A biker was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."
The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want."
The Lord said, "Your request is materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that would honor and glorify me."
The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife. I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make this wonderful woman truly happy."
The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"
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teachingmyown Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 20 2005 Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline Posts: 5128
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Posted: April 26 2006 at 5:44pm | IP Logged
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Here's one:
Two men walked into a bar.
You would think the second one would have ducked!
__________________ In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
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KristinaP Forum Pro
Joined: March 25 2005 Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline Posts: 146
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Posted: April 26 2006 at 7:52pm | IP Logged
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Oh that's a good one!
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Rebecca Forum All-Star
Joined: Dec 30 2005 Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline Posts: 1898
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Posted: April 26 2006 at 8:54pm | IP Logged
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OK, I have one...
A classroom of children and their teacher were studying whales. The teacher said, "Many whales have throats that are no bigger than a quarter." A little boy raised his hand and said, "That cannot be true because Jonah was swallowed by a whale and he was bigger than a quarter." The teacher remarked, "The story of Jonah and the whale is not true." The boy said "Yes, it is. And when I get to Heaven I am going to ask him if it is true." The teacher said, "What if Jonah is not in Heaven?" The boy remarked, "Then you can ask him!"
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ladybugs Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2005 Location: California
Online Status: Offline Posts: 3732
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Posted: April 26 2006 at 9:26pm | IP Logged
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These are fun!
I have another one...
A crowd had gathered around the woman charged with adultery.
Jesus was there. He said, "Let those who are without sin cast the first stone."
A hush fell over the crowd. For several minutes there was silence...
Then, a stone zoomed past Jesus' ear. He turned and said exasperatingly, "Mother!"
__________________ Love and God Bless,
Maria P
My etsy store - all proceeds go to help my fencing daughters!
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