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joann10
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| Posted: Oct 27 2011 at 7:43pm | IP Logged
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It's that time of year again....Gracie's birthday is Saturday and then comes Nov. 10. The day my aneuyrsm ruptured...
Every year as we get into autumn, I convince myself that this year will be different, I won't fall victim to the stress, anxiety and terror....but it slowly creeps in, until I am a total wreck.. I am to this point now. I want so much to celebrate Gracie, and we do, big time! But this dark cloud just doesn't leave.
I'm having nightmares (and daymares) of my weeks in ICU, the ventilator, not having my baby and being told there was no chance I would survive.
I'm here, I should be rejoicing in this life that was returned to me, so why does this darkness loom over me......I just want it to STOP!
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4 lads mom
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| Posted: Oct 27 2011 at 7:59pm | IP Logged
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I would have a plan for the day...and as soon as “the thoughts” start...you stop and ponder what you ARE doing on the DAY....and not what happened on that “other day"....like, you are going to Mass....Adoration.....baking a cake....decorating the kitchen for a nice sweet party for TWO special girls..(you and your daughter)....that the day isn’t some black cavernous day of post traumatic stress, but one of purposeful rejoicing and thanksgiving. Joann, you know out of many here, I get really scary medical scenes...so I say all of this knowing that this takes a lot of energy to move forward. I find when I have a “plan” in place, I can hold onto the “plan” almost like a focal point....and my obsessing over the scary stuff lessens its hold.
Praying for you here! 
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Mom of four brave lads and one sweet lassie
Scenes From This and That
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SusanMc
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| Posted: Oct 28 2011 at 7:23am | IP Logged
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Perhaps you could "treat" yourself to a few sessions with a good cognitive behavioral therapist. It isn't the type of therapy where you dredge up all your childhood hopes and traumas but rather a very specific technique to develop skills and coping mechanisms to get you through specific problems that reoccur. Many times you can find success after only a few sessions--say 3-6. Sounds like it may be perfect for what you are describing.
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Mom to two dear sons, '07 and '08.
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Servant2theKing
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| Posted: Oct 28 2011 at 9:06am | IP Logged
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Dear Joann,
I hesitate to respond, since I too have struggled with difficult and painful "anniversary seasons" for longer than I can remember. The advice already given is truly wise and I pray it helps you find consolation.
By grace, I ran across these blessed words from Pope Benedict this morning (in a roundabout way that could only be of God): http://www.zenit.org/article-33650?l=english
May the Lord bless you, and your dear Gracie, with hope, healing and true joy, softening memories of the past, helping you enjoy the blessings of today and filling your heart, mind and soul with abundant trust and hope for the future! May God awaken in your soul newfound rejoicing that He miraculously spared your life! Pray to St. Michael and all of God's holy angels and saints for help in chasing away fears and painful memories whenever they come knocking at the door of your soul.
Praying that Gracie's birthday and Nov. 10 are days filled with blessings, grace and rejoicing!
BTW, I've found the homeopathic remedy Ignatia very helpful for dealing with grief over past traumas. I've been able to sleep through the night after years of insomnia and daytimes are not plagued with quite so many tears and thoughts of past wounds. HTH
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All for Christ, our Saviour and King, servant
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cathhomeschool
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Texas Bluebonnets
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| Posted: Oct 28 2011 at 9:55am | IP Logged
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Joann, I have no words of wisdom, just many, many prayers. May Our Lady wrap you in her mantle and hold you close, and may St. Michael rush to your defense and aid you in fighting these thoughts. May the Holy Spirit bring you PEACE and JOY and remove all fear!
I'm posting in WPTTL for you so that you get the extra prayer support you need!
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Janette (4 boys - 22, 21, 15, 14)
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Mackfam
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| Posted: Oct 28 2011 at 9:57am | IP Logged
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I'm praying as well, dear Joann! 
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Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19 , ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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ladybugs
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Praying for you, dear, sweet, Joann!!!!
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Maria P
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alexmom
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| Posted: Oct 28 2011 at 11:56am | IP Logged
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I'm praying for you !! I can't even begin to imagine what you lived through. (((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))) May God bring you healing!
Kym
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10 Bright Stars
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Praying!! Take every thought captive.
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Kim married to Bob (22y)
Mom of 11 blessings:
Bobby 19, David 17, Noah 14,
Mary 12, Gracie 10,
Isabelle and Sophia 8,
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cathhomeschool
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Texas Bluebonnets
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| Posted: Nov 10 2011 at 9:19am | IP Logged
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Joann, praying *especially* for you today before the Blessed Sacrament!
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Janette (4 boys - 22, 21, 15, 14)
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Servant2theKing
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Also lifting you up in prayer today Joann!
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St. Ann
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Praying for you right now, Joann!
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Stephanie
Wife and mother to Hannah '96, Maria '99, Dorothea '01, Helena '03
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Erin
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Praying for you today Joann
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Erin
Faith Filled Days
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joann10
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| Posted: Nov 10 2011 at 2:33pm | IP Logged
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Thank you so much for the many prayers....they have helped me tremendously over the past few weeks.
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VanessaVH
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Praying for you today as well!
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Wife to Mark, Mommy to 4 boys:Luke '05, Eric '07, Nicholas '09 Nathaniel '11
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mamaslearning
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Hope all is well!
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Lara
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: My "terror time" is fast approaching
