4Real Forums: Just a funny little read for Mother's Day

Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.

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Topic: Just a funny little read for Mother's Day

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BlessedWith3SNP
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Joined: Jan 17 2011
Location: Rhode Island
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Posts: 56

Posted: April 29 2011 at 2:26am \| IP Logged

Just something I got as an email that made me laugh. It's so true I wanted to share.

Happy Mother's Day!

1.. My mother taught me to appreciate a job well done.
        "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me religion.
        "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about time travel.
        "If you don't straighten up,
                    I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me logic.
        "Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me more logic.
        "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck,
           You are not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me foresight.
        "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me irony,
        "Keep crying and I will give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of osmosis.
        "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me how to be a contortionist.
        "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about stamina.
           "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about hypocrisy.
           "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

12. My mother taught me about anticipation.
           "Just wait until we get home."

13. My mother taught me humor.
           "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

14. My mother taught me about my roots.
        "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

15. And my favorite:

My mother taught me about justice.
           "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you."

Have a wonderful time remembering and have a great Mother's Day.

__________________
~Mary, wife to Kenneth and mom to Sean Michael (10/03), Noah Gabriel (11/05), Piper Arwen (10/08), Adam Raphael (4/14)

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Servant2theKing
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Joined: Nov 13 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1505

Posted: April 29 2011 at 9:08am \| IP Logged

Those are too funny! Just read them aloud to dc and had lots of good laughs! Thank you for sharing!

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All for Christ, our Saviour and King, servant

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Angie Mc
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Joined: Jan 31 2005
Location: Arizona
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 11400

Posted: April 29 2011 at 6:34pm \| IP Logged

You betcha!

Happy Mother's Day in advanced!

Love,

__________________
Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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