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joann10
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| Posted: March 10 2011 at 1:48pm | IP Logged
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Jen touched on this beautifully in this discussion.
But I am weak and I am looking for inspiration in this area. Is there a book to help with this journey to finding peace in suffering? I know Father Groeschel has written books on the subject but I don't know which book pertains to this specifically.
It's not just the physical suffering, but also the emotional toil this suffering is causing...and knowing the fact that it will not be ending anytime soon, if ever.
Any suggestions on where to turn for inspiration, especially during this Lenten season when I want to join my suffering with Jesus' suffering for us.
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CrunchyMom
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| Posted: March 10 2011 at 2:46pm | IP Logged
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I have always found this passage on suffering from St Francis de Sales in Intoduction to the Devout Life to be insightful.
It isn't very long, and I'm sure others will know of better, more in depth resources to share, but I wanted to share it with you.
__________________
Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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JennGM
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| Posted: March 10 2011 at 3:42pm | IP Logged
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Joann,
My husband and I always talk about people who have CHRONIC suffering and how that is soooo hard. Little things that pass are hard for me to bear, but when it's a day in, day out constant...that would be so hard. You are one of those people I really admire.
I have several ideas, but some might not totally work. I'm sure you have read most of them. The times when I've had long terms of suffering, I find following Therese of Liseux, St. Josemaria, and reading examples of saints/people who accepted their long suffering. I sound like a broken record, but there is a similar theme through the Gospels, the Little Way, St. Josemaria's writings -- Divine Filiation -- we are daughters of God!!!
The key point is to look at it minute by minute, baby steps. I offer up the day, but when I hit bumps and I just can't handle it, it's taking the dialogue, like in I Believe in Love when she quotes from St. Paul:
"When I am weak then I am strong because Christ lives in me."
"I live now not I, but Christ lives in me."
I myself can't handle anything one iota. As we were reminded yesterday, we are just ashes, weak human beaing. Even when I do good, I can't take the credit...I'm nothing without grace. But being so helpless makes me more loveable in God's eyes, and when I reach up to Him, He will be more able to help me.
And when I fall, it's even more glory for Him.
I really like the books by Jacques Philippe and anything by St. Josemaria for the little bites of wisdom and peace. Scepter Publishers has all these. (I really like the title about Peace by Father Philippe.)
St. Josemaria can also be read online. Here are a few choice passages. My favorite, which I need All.The.Time. I'm the Prodigal Son, every day, every minute:
Quote:
| Forward, no matter what happens! Cling tightly to Our Lord's hand and remember that God does not lose battles. If you should stray from him for any reason, react with the humility that will lead you to begin again and again; to play the role of the prodigal son every day, and even repeatedly during the twenty-four hours of the same day; to correct your contrite heart in Confession, which is a real miracle of God's Love. In this wonderful Sacrament Our Lord cleanses your soul and fills you with joy and strength to prevent you from giving up the fight, and to help you keep returning to God unwearied, when everything seems black. In addition, the Mother of God, who is also our Mother, watches over you with motherly care, guiding your every step. |
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Point 64
Quote:
| God is waiting for us, like the father in the parable, with open arms, even though we don't deserve it. It doesn't matter how great our debt is. Just like the prodigal son, all we have to do is open our heart, to be homesick for our Father's house, to wonder at and rejoice in the gift which God makes us of being able to call ourselves his children, of really being his children, even though our response to him has been so poor. |
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Cheerfulness
Furrow, point 65 wrote:
Once again you had gone back to your old follies!... And afterwards, when you returned, you didn’t feel very cheerful, because you lacked humility.
It seems as if you obstinately refuse to learn from the second part of the parable of the prodigal son, and you still feel attached to the wretched happiness of the pig-swill. With your pride wounded by your weakness, you have not made up your mind to ask for pardon, and you have not realised that, if you humble yourself, the joyful welcome of your Father God awaits you, with a feast to mark your return and your new beginning. |
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Just simple thoughts....ETA: I'm not implying you're a sinner, just giving my own personal experience on how I handle my suffering.
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Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to  & ds1  '03 & ds2  '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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RyaneM
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| Posted: March 10 2011 at 3:45pm | IP Logged
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Hi Joann,
I think we have one of Fr. Groeschel's books on suffering. If I can dig it up I'll bring it to hs group next week. In the meantime, let me know if there is anything I can do.
Hugs,
__________________
Ryane in NY 
Mama to ds (3/05), ds(1/09) and dd (4/10)
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MicheleQ
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| Posted: March 10 2011 at 4:10pm | IP Logged
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Both Tears of God and Stumbling Blocks or Stepping Stones are very good.
hugs and prayers for you dear.
__________________
Michele Quigley
wife to my prince charming and mom of 10 in Lancaster County, PA USA
http://michelequigley.com
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Servant2theKing
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http://www.religious-vocation.com/redemptive_suffering.html
While this is intended for those with religious vocations, much of what is shared can apply to all souls. You may find the various quotes and sources, listed at the bottom, helpful. I keep trying to write some kind words to encourage you and it all falls short. Your cross has been Hand-carved for you...our Lord understands every intimate detail of what you are going through. May you grow ever closer to Him through your suffering. Please know that you are very much in our prayers.
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All for Christ, our Saviour and King, servant
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Mackfam
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| Posted: March 11 2011 at 8:03am | IP Logged
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My brother and I like Peter Kreeft's Making Sense Out of Suffering. My brother has suffered intensely for the last 13 years. Every time his cup of suffering is renewed I see this little book out again on his reading table. That makes it a gem in my book.
Another book I really enjoy is Trustful Surrender to Divine Providence.
And like Jenn, I really find a great deal of spiritual help that somehow seamlessly translates into my practical life through St. Josemaria Escriva's writings. In particular, I enjoy the In Conversation With God series. For the suffering soul, there is only today. It truly is a life lived out one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time. The little nuggets within these "conversations" peppered generously with the wisdom of St. Josemaria Escriva give me practical focus and help me anchor my spiritual response. I know it's an expensive set so I hesitate to link them. I was gifted the set many, many years ago and have found them to be a constant and sure companion over the years, finding in them treasured direction every year. I like that I can go to them anytime I can grab a quiet minute, although I like reading them after morning prayers so I can spend the day thinking about the reading. I also find that in suffering, I cannot digest too much. I am already carrying a heavy burden so small bits are the most easily digested and acted upon. This is another reason I appreciate the daily "conversation" in this series.
You know, Joann, it is a very dear and special soul that God asks to suffer so diligently and so faithfully on His behalf. I have only met a few of these dear souls in my lifetime and I am blessed to know you as one of them. It is truly a moment by moment life. In speaking with my brother lately, I see how he cherishes *the moment*. The simple moment. He savors it. He does not allow any other thought or action to remove him from the present moment - even when that means being fully present to intense physical suffering in that moment. At those times we pray on his behalf. Please allow us to pray for you when you find yourself overwhelmed in the present moment, Joann! Know that I am praying for you so much!!
Now....since I'm a practical gal, can we brainstorm some ways that anchor *the moment* to something cheery? Simple things. Easy ideas. Relaxing moments. (This isn't me trying to *lighten up* suffering! Suffering is a gift, and is beautiful and also very heavy at times. In the everyday, it helps to find light moments to punctuate the day.) So...I'm thinking out loud of some pleasant anchors that might punctuate the day:
** Anchor to prayer. Often. I know you know this - but for some reason, in the middle of suffering, I have to be reminded. My favorite aside from the Rosary is the Divine Mercy chaplet.
** Print a few of your favorite inspiring sayings and Bible verses and tuck them everywhere! Use a pretty font and tape them to your dryer, inside cupboards, on your bathroom mirror, anywhere you might be for more than 10 seconds at a time. I like to put special inspiring holy cards around as well. I thought maybe we would choose a different verse to anchor our thoughts to for each week of Lent and put it around the home, tucked in various corners for us to see daily...in the everyday moments. I know I've seen other mothers here and on blogs doing this...I just can't remember to whom the original hat tip goes! A simple verse. Meditated on daily. Changed weekly. It's something simple I can do.
** Ask the little ones to sing to you! (My favorite thing when I'm suffering physically!!!)
** Get in the habit of gratitude -- Thank you for this tiny moment with my littlest. Thank you for the gift of sunshine in spite of the cold temperatures. Thank you for the gift of my amazing and steady husband. Thank you for this breath. Thank you for Your grace in the moment.
** Something that I've long known is so greatly valued in suffering intensely - and that is the gift of the ordinary. Seek refuge in the ordinary moments of the day when you are able to embrace an *ordinary* moment - laundry, tidying, cooking, etc. These ordinary, everyday moments are so valuable because in them we make a gift of ourselves (often hidden) to those we are serving, and they provide us with moments in the day to hallow, to make sacred. I know - you think, "WHAT???? Laundry as sacred???" Yet I returned home from my last trip to the hospital from visiting my brother and I found such joy in the simple task of washing for my family, in providing this gift, in serving, in doing something *ordinary*. I see the value in it, and the comfort of the ordinary, and am blessed by its goodness more and more. If the ordinary things of the past are no longer within your grasp, make a new ordinary thing yours. The smaller, the better.
** Allow time to be gentle and heal - life moves at a different pace for those with physical suffering. It is true, you may no longer know the stamina and pace that you used to, or that you see other mothers are able to set in their vocation (though, like others, I observe such a vibrancy and richness in the offerings in your blog, I find your pace to bring inspiration and freshness to me!). This adapted/adjusted pace is not a bad thing, nor is it to be interpreted as a shortcoming on your part, quite the contrary, Our Lord is asking great things of you! He requests your offering of self in ways that aren't always visible, and in temporal terms, are rarely recognized. Here is where we begin to lose hope when all we seem to do is suffer and slog through the hours. We may be tempted to feel disheartened, yet, if we could look just beyond the veil of this world to the supernatural, we would see that this gift to our children, through our daily example, is the most vibrant, the most moving, the most valuable in its everyday practical living-out-a-life-of-suffering. What gift!!!! For you, for the unique circumstances you are in, the cross you must carry, may require you to re-write in your own mind the expectations of yourself in home education. Give yourself permission to be gentle. That means napping when it is necessary. Sitting when everyone else is up and working. Accepting help when your heart's desire is to give of yourself. With a smile.
** Carve out a tiny niche in your home somewhere that could be just for you! Your bedroom, maybe? A little corner of beauty...a place set aside for you...special...pretty. It can be tiny - a corner: a chair and a little table or basket (and preferably a window  ). It's a tiny little space of retreat, to be visited on an as-needed basis, even if only for a few minutes of reading. I like to keep light stuff near my spot in addition to more nourishing spiritual reading.
** Enjoy some light stuff - window shopping (on your computer...this is when gazillions of silly wish lists could be fun!), a fun magazine, dreaming about, even planning on paper for a *project*, gardening plans, etc. Light movies are a favorite of mine when life can be heavy - just find things that add levity and light to part of your day. It's like a cherished exhale.
** And this is one I was thinking of for you the other day -- I know with your RA your ability to be outside and walk with the family is diminished, but I was wondering if you couldn't task the big kids/your husband with finding a reasonable/nice outdoor chair for you (we saw some folding, lightweight ones recently at an outdoor store and they were super comfortable and supportive, folded easily and could be carried ANYWHERE easily by a big kid.) Anyway, once you have your special outdoor chair, you can go to your favorite places! You sit in a common area and send the kids out to find one new treasure to come back and show you or tell you about (buddying a bid kid with a little). You'll truly enjoy the beauty of God's creation through their eyes! I just imagine that this could be such a delightful blessing, and like a healing balm.
You are in my prayers, Joann! 
__________________
Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19, ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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Betsy
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| Posted: March 11 2011 at 8:36am | IP Logged
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Jen,
Your words are very inspired and beautiful! Thanks for sharing.....
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4 lads mom
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| Posted: March 11 2011 at 10:12am | IP Logged
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So much beautiful wisdom shared already shared, here, Joann, I hesitate to add my pitiful bouquet.....but here it is.
“Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”
Jesus answered, “Neither he nor his parents sinned; he was born blind so that God’s works might be revealed in him”
--John 9:2-3
I read this the other night, the very first thing in a book about St. Theresa of Avila, (my other fav Carmelite).....and I cried. So, having all of these medical things go wrong in our family does really, really mean something?? That God has chosen us, so woefully unprepared, to reveal His Works? Our Lord, Our King, Our Creator??? He is using us to reveal his works? That is almost too much to contemplate sometimes, the ramifications, that some of us our chosen, handpicked, plucked up from the fray and told....”Your intense sufferings will be used to reveal My Works”
I have been going to counseling lately, to sort through the medical train wrecks...some post traumatic stress from it all....and also starting to dredge through a childhood that was marked by much, much suffering. I have cried out many times in the last week, “I can’t do this!!!” But the thing is, “I” am not doing it anyway....
Another consolation I had at Ash Wednesday Mass.....I was praying before Mass, and I saw this stained glass window I hadn’t really noticed before. It is of the Crucifixion, and Mary Magdalene is at the foot of the cross, with her arms wrapped around that Cross. The next window is of Christ’s Resurrection. It occurred to me that here was Mary Magdalene, who suffered greatly in her life. She was holding onto that cross with everything she had.....and who did Christ choose to reveal Himself to first?? Who was the first to know that indeed, He had Risen? I felt Christ was telling me.....”Oh my child, you have suffered mightily your entire life, but wait until you see what I have in store for you.” I hope, Joann, that you can take consolation in that as well.....you just wait to see what Christ has in store for you when you meet Him!!
None of my words really do this any justice, speaking of Christ and His Love for us just wasn’t meant to be conveyed strictly in words.....try to rest knowing that we are all the Body of Christ, we all are praying for you, and everything is going to work out for His Glory!
__________________
Mom of four brave lads and one sweet lassie
Scenes From This and That
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mamaslearning
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| Posted: March 14 2011 at 11:46am | IP Logged
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Joann,
to you this week.
I am reading a book about St. Pio (Padre Pio) by Oscar De Liso, and have found wonderful comforts for my meager sufferings. He's my new favorite saint! His strength to bear the stigmata so that his suffering could be used to spare another soul moved me in ways I cannot explain. God led me to this saint, of whom I knew nothing until I read this book.
I offer up prayers for you and your family. God Bless!
__________________
Lara
DD 11, DS 8, DS 6, DS 4
St. Francis de Sales Homeschool
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Accepting suffering
