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stellamaris
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| Posted: Feb 11 2011 at 10:02am | IP Logged
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Over in this thread on getting up in the morning, mention was made of using rewards to motivate ourselves to do what we need to do...even if it's a little difficult (like getting out of bed  ).
I am wondering what your thoughts are on rewards? I know I often feel like I don't deserve to reward myself for just doing what I really ought to do anyway, and I think as moms in general we frequently feel that we don't "deserve" rewards. At the same time, one can not just happily continuing working away without some encouragement.  So I am currently working on a "rewards" list to get me back on track with exercising.  (This is as close as I could get to an 'exercising' emoticon!)
So, how do you feel about rewards? What kinds of little rewards do you give yourself? Do you plan out the rewards in advance? How successfully have you been able to motivate yourself using a reward system? What are your non-food rewards?
Talking here just about rewarding ourselves...rewarding the children for their efforts is another post for another day .
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Caroline
Wife to  dh 30+ yrs,ds's 83,85,89,dd's 91,95,ds's 01,01,02,grammy to 4
Flowing Streams
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Mackfam
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| Posted: Feb 11 2011 at 10:16am | IP Logged
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I remember Angie talking about this, Caroline. Here's her very good thread - Motivation for the Mundane. Just putting that here as a starting point for ideas. Be back later....
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Jen Mackintosh
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hylabrook1
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| Posted: Feb 11 2011 at 10:48am | IP Logged
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I do a number of difficult or boring things and then reward myself by sitting down with a cup of tea and whatever book I"m reading at the moment. This actually ends up serving my family well, because when I get that bit of rest and refreshment I'm much easier to live with! I really do try to pace my day to include calmer, quieter moments such as this. The length of time it takes me to sip my mug of tea in a leisurely fashion has come to be a unit of time expression with my family. "I'm going to sit and read, all by myself, in silence, for the length of a cup of tea." Everyone understands exactly what that means - give Mom 20 minutes of space.  I probably do this once, at most twice, a day. I kind of see a tie-in here with the "Accepting Aging" thread - as I, umm, *mature*, this whole idea of pacing my energy through the day has become vital.
Peace,
Nancy
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mom2mpr
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| Posted: Feb 11 2011 at 12:48pm | IP Logged
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I like my shower and a nice organic soap with lavender!
I use this reward for getting up in the am--it also makes me feel better as I am so sore in the am. I am getting old.
I am trying to get back into exercise and want to reward myself with a massage--its not working well right now--too tired to get up to exercise.
I think rewards can help motivate very well for certain type's of people. They don't seem to work for my kids, unfortunately.
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Anne, married to dh 16 years!, ds,(97), Little One (02), and dd (02).
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Donna Marie
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| Posted: Feb 11 2011 at 2:27pm | IP Logged
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mmm...mmmmm...mm...mmmmmmmmm...mm...mmm
gulp...oh excuse me, that reads:
"one...piece...of...chocolate...at...3pm"
(guess what time it is??) 
and I have this biiiig mug that I keep filled with warm liquid. I have a nice little stash of tea or sometimes unwind with a Vanilla Soother with dh at days end. That tea keeps my voice working and reading outloud for endless hours. It is a signal in the mornin that when it hits the table, you better hit the table too! It means I mean business, and I feel warm and cozy inside!
I have a nice looking crossword book in my room with a pencil in it. When I need a few moments to B R E A T H E, I go in there and pray then do a few lines of that crossword. I feel competent. I can spell! I can concentrate in that semi-silence for just a few moments
...and I also fold a half basket of laundry in there...or even an eighth...I just do it slowly and think of the gift of having clothing for each child to wear and I think of the blessing of that child...etc...little motivator and a little blessing for the laundry. Bless that trouble area with something sweet. I can handle 2 pair of jeans and an odd shirt. It's Easier than before. I have bribed my son to do ALL the laundry. All he has to do is dump it in the middle of my bed and I fold it on and off all day. This is strictly a NO KID zone. Do you know how hard it was to figure this out? I was burning out going too fast trying to meet the needs of a household of 11!! Little baby steps...often, very often!
I have this very discouraged feeling in the pit of my stomach if the laundry is left in the living room or dining room. I just can't do it...it scatters E V E R Y W H E R E. So by my ds helping and the little sweet things here and there, my day goes much better!
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Donna Marie from NJ
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Erin
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| Posted: Feb 11 2011 at 2:58pm | IP Logged
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stellamaris wrote:
| I am wondering what your thoughts are on rewards? I know I often feel like I don't deserve to reward myself for just doing what I really ought to do anyway, and I think as moms in general we frequently feel that we don't "deserve" rewards. At the same time, one can not just happily continuing working away without some encouragement. |
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My rewards consists more of enforcing self-discipline. ie. When I finish folding this mountain of washing, I'll sit down at the computer or read a book for x time. Regards exercise, I'll get up and go for a walk first thing in the morning and then boot up the computer. (that was when I exercised  ) I vaguely remember rewarding myself with 'money points' to buy a book at one stage. Can't remember what that was for. 
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Erin
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stellamaris
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| Posted: Feb 11 2011 at 3:14pm | IP Logged
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Erin wrote:
| I vaguely remember rewarding myself with 'money points' to buy a book at one stage. Can't remember what that was for. |
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Yeah, I thought about a book reward, but the problem there is that I am ALWAYS buying books and so I'd have to STOP buying them in order to be able to BUY MORE of them ! Maybe if I'd really stop buying them, then I could reward myself with books....humm....maybe I'll stop??... NAH!
Like your point about baby steps, Donna. It's so easy for me to overwhelm myself trying to undertake big jobs and when I break them down it is really much easier...but it does require the exercise of patience! I should just try to exercise 10-15 minutes...baby steps...but what kind of reward would work for such a short undertaking? Maybe a chart and a reward for doing so many 10-15 sessions a week? Or something like that?
Tea is a good idea, and a nice shower would be good, too. My difficulty there is that those kinds of rewards just stretch out a little long. Could I detect a self-discipline problem....? Do you set a timer, or how do you get back on track? I tend to put off those kinds of pleasures until the end of the day just because once I sit down, I'm done! But it would be better to pace myself, especially important now as I, too, Nancy, find my energy level is no longer what it once was.
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In Christ,
Caroline
Wife to dh 30+ yrs,ds's 83,85,89,dd's 91,95,ds's 01,01,02,grammy to 4
Flowing Streams
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Rewards!
