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stacykay
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| Posted: Oct 08 2010 at 11:06am | IP Logged
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...for a weekend visit (15th-18th,) and ds has to work 7a-7p on the 16th! That means I have to come up with a long day's worth of entertainment for his girlfriend. She is 20, college sophomore, and I have only met her twice-didn't even get a real chance to talk to her! When I asked ds what she likes to do, he said, "work out." 
I would love to hear any suggestions!!!!
Thank you!!!!!
In Christ,
Stacy in MI
Update: 19 October 2010
Well! Ds's gf ended up coming a day earlier and stayed a day later than I had anticipated. Friday she was fairly quiet and seemed amazed at all the activity and noise! She kept saying, "Boys sure are different from girls!" 
Saturday, I did just what you all suggested, and asked if she'd like to come with me on errands. She did. (My 15yods came along too; I think he is smitten.  ) We had a nice time chatting and stopped for subs for a late lunch. When we got back, she sat down with dh to watch football and ended up curling up on the couch and napping. Ds was able to come home early from work, so they went out to dinner, alone. 
Sunday we all went to Mass, and I made a big dinner. Ds's gf offered help, helped with salad prep, got up after dinner and unloaded and reloaded dishwasher, etc.
Yesterday, she was in the kitchen cleaning and down in basement doing laundry!
Today, I was so sad to see her go!  
All in all, a great visit. Thank you SO much! for all your advice and prayers!!!! 
In Christ,
Stacy in MI
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Oct 08 2010 at 12:34pm | IP Logged
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anywhere you can take her for a walk/hike? that gives you the inconsequentials of what you see to chat about.. uses up time.. gives you time to talk or to just enjoy companiable silence.. much nicer than sitting around staring at walls.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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guitarnan
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| Posted: Oct 08 2010 at 12:42pm | IP Logged
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Maybe there's a Volksmarch (organized 10km walk) in your area on that day?
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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Angie Mc
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Oh, Stacy, I'm sorry to say that I laughed out loud when I got to the "workout" part of your post ...that's pretty funny (kinda a little?)
Anyway, I would treat this young lady like royalty!
I would start off with a quick personal note (via email or text) and say, "I'm so glad to have you visit! I'd like to get plans together that will make your visit a happy one for you. Can you tell me a few things about yourself to help me? Anything that important to you, like, what are your favorite foods? Any allergies? My son tells me that you enjoy working out. Feel free to bring your in-home workouts to do here. If you prefer, I can help set up time for a local gym. Or would you like to do some outdoor activities like biking or hiking? Some things I like to do when friends come to visit is (fill in - go shopping, visit museum, etc.) Do any of these sound good to you? Or, as a busy college student, I will completely understand if you need to study or rest. Thanks for letting me know what you have on your mind and I look forward to your visit."
I wouldn't expect any solid feedback, more like "Oh, whatever" (hopefully that's just a little funny too!) but if I got it, I would go with that. If I didn't get much, I would just make plans that she can choose to be a part of or that she can decline with dignity. I would make my best breakfast (pancakes, bacon, fruit salad) while also offering plain yogurt and granola (just in case she is on a diet or is a vegan or has an allergy or who know what else!) I would say, "I'm going to the library to drop off some books and get new ones. You can join me or you can hang out here. I'll be back in an hour." That kind of thing.
Stacy, I'll pray that this is a blessing for all involved. Our college-aged children need so much LOVE, so much CONNECTION to loving families, so much RESPECT! I'll also pray that you find that one thing, that one topic, that can make your time together a breeze. In my home that topic would most likely be baseball, cooking/food, or music. But I've had teens/college students with whom I've enjoyed talking about politics, religion, and more weighty topics. I also enjoy being "out of the know" and listen to their takes on popular culture, especially movies.
I hope you get a chance to update here 
Love,
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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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SuzanneG
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| Posted: Oct 08 2010 at 3:57pm | IP Logged
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stacykay wrote:
| That means I have to come up with a long day's worth of entertainment for his girlfriend. |
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It means absolutely NOTHING of the sort!!!!!
You go on about your business and she can join in if she chooses! If what you do on a Saturday is stay home and do chores...then GREAT!....she can help...or not . Or if your business on a Saturday is to run errands....great! She can run errands with you! Or if you visit friends....she can do that too!
If you do normally stay home, you could make an effort to get out and do a couple fun errands.....just to break up the day.
Angie Mc wrote:
| I would say, "I'm going to the library to drop off some books and get new ones. You can join me or you can hang out here. I'll be back in an hour." That kind of thing. |
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LOVE this example!!!!!
Plan your meals as you normally would, with more of an effort for one of them.
Of course, if it were me, I would plan some big project that I've been putting off, b/c I needed an extra person... ....but I don't think that's what you were asking!!!
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Suzanne in ID
Wife to Pete
Mom of 7 (Girls - 14, 12, 11, 9, 7 and Boys - 4, 1)
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ekbell
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Having been the college aged girlfriend, I can say that I appreciated the nice meals, and warm welcome that I was given. Other then basic questions about dietary concerns my boyfriend's mother didn't appear to have changed her plans in any noticeable fashion.
She's now my MIL and I can say that her simple but wholehearted welcome is now my standard for hospitality. Good food, an sincere interest in people and the ability to provide the good food and interest without apparent stress.
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Angie Mc
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ekbell wrote:
She's now my MIL and I can say that her simple but wholehearted welcome is now my standard for hospitality. Good food, an sincere interest in people and the ability to provide the good food and interest without apparent stress. |
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BRAVO 
Love,
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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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stacykay
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| Posted: Oct 11 2010 at 11:16am | IP Logged
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Thank you for the wisdom!!!! I guess I am more nervous than anything. She is one of four girls, and ds one of six boys, so I am positive our household is nothing like theirs!
Ds went to visit her family this summer, and I know at least two days were spent sight-seeing, but then, he was there a week. She will be here from Friday evening to Monday morning.
I do have a list of things I need to get done every Saturday and going to the library is one of those items.
Food-wise, ds says she doesn't eat much. And I know my dh's family thought the same about me, when I first went to their home. It's funny, but many of the things ds says about her sound like me when I was that age.
I'm taking deep breaths, will say my prayers, and get prepared for a relaxing and fun weekend (and I will keep repeating that to myself!
)
Thanks for all the advice and the prayers! I will post an update next week!
In Christ,
Stacy in MI
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Lacy
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When I was dating my husband and I would end up at his mother's house, she always seemed to have a project to do. We did a lot of baking or sewing together. She actually taught me how to sew and we would make quilts together on the weekends. Good luck!
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Lacy
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Chari
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That is so sweet, Lacy! 
Great advice, everyone!! 
Have a great time, Stacy!
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Chari...Take Up & Read
Dh Marty 27yrs...3 lovely maidens: Anne 24, Sarah 20 & Maddelyn 17 and 3 chivalrous sons: Matthew 22, Garrett 16 & Malachy 11
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Babs
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I have all boys also and it is so fun when the boys bring girls home for a visit. It might be fun to have some baking planned. Maybe bake cookies with her - some for the weekend, some to freeze for the holidays, and some for them to take back to school/home.
When my son's fiance was first here, all of the boys went somewhere and she suggested watching a girl movie. I thought that would be great so I showed her our movies. She asked where the girl movies were! It was so funny and since then she always watches for girl movies on sale and brings them for me.
You will have so much fun. Sometimes there are students who can't fly home for breaks and since we are in driving distance, my son will bring them home. We enjoy the boys but having a girl in the house is so fun for me. One thing that always surprises me is how much they all sleep and eat. Also, the girls always talk about manicures and pedicures, that seems to be very popular with that age girl.
I hope you have a wonderful time!
God Bless!
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Mom to: ds 28 ds 22 ds 12 ds 9 and MIL to dd 27
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: UpdateHelp!My son's girlfriend is coming
