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Mari
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| Posted: March 14 2006 at 1:22am | IP Logged
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At the ripe old age of 7, my dd's fingers are actively exploring her nose and mouth..all day long! She never did this before (it may seem cute on a tiny baby but at 7 it looses its appeal!) She is very careful about her presentation(dress, hair) so this is not in keeping with her usual self. I don't want to nag at her to stop. I know she has some wobbly teeth so she is also playing with them - but the fingers keep on going up to the nose..... 
Does anyone have any top tips on how I can help her check her habit?
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Mari, mother of 2 loving daughters aged 8 and 10
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Victoria in AZ
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| Posted: March 16 2006 at 9:48am | IP Logged
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In general, what motivates her the most? Rewards, punishment, modesty? You could reward her for one hour or one day of keeping her fingers where you want them. You could punish her. You could discuss with her that it is not ladylike and Our Lady would never!
Gosh, sorry, no other ideas...
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Victoria in AZ
dh Mike 24 yrs; ds Kyle 18; dd Katie 12; and one funny pug
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mary
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| Posted: March 16 2006 at 9:57am | IP Logged
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if she has her fingers in her nose, i would ask if she would like a tissue (or just hand her one) every time you notice it. does she have allergies? my allergic child needs to be reminded to blow his nose regularly and that seems to take care of 'nose exploration' during the day.
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Sarah
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| Posted: March 16 2006 at 11:07am | IP Logged
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My kids seem to get this habit now and then and I always ask them to stop. I just keeping reminding them in a loving tone. I tell them that people will think nose-picking is gross and its not socially acceptable. They get out of the habit fairly quickly with me reminding them EVERY time I see it. Fingers in the mouth will most likely resove when the teeth issues are better, but reminding them is important for hygiene issues.
I also tell them that if they feel like their nose is in need of cleaning, then they should go into the bathroom and use a kleenex.
This is so normal. In my opinion, 7 yo's are especially prone to habits--nose-picking, hair chewing, finger sucking (I have one now!), etc. With gentle and frequent reminders they learn to put their behavior in check.
Adjust the firmness of your reminders to the temperment of your child. It could be anything to a clearing of your throat combined to shaking your head, to "Get that finger out of your nose!" for the more stubborn  . I've had to be firm with one of my boys who frankly didn't care if we thought he was gross--he's over it now  .
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Rachel May
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| Posted: March 16 2006 at 1:01pm | IP Logged
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Sarah wrote:
| This is so normal. In my opinion, 7 yo's are especially prone to habits--nose-picking, hair chewing, finger sucking (I have one now!), etc. With gentle and frequent reminders they learn to put their behavior in check. |
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This book Your Seven Year Old: Life in a Minor Key by Louise Bates Amesmentions this also. She calls it a "tensional release" and says it usually occurs when the child is tired. That doesn't seem true here though. 
I send mine to the bathroom to wash their hands with soap and water every time. The fruity soap I keep in the most used bathrooms makes it clear whether this was done. I've seen it get less frequent this way, but I'm sure it will be a while until it's gone!
Also, in the book No, David! by David Shannon there is a page with a picture of David picking his nose. The words are "Stop that this instant!" This is the phrase we use in public as a reminder. Usually they laugh and put their hands in their pockets.
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Mari
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| Posted: March 16 2006 at 1:19pm | IP Logged
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Thanks everyone,
Glad to know that mine is not the only one doing this. I suppose you always feel that more aware/embarassed when it's your child who's doing it!
I have explained the hygiene reasons behind this before. I think that is really important. She understands and wishes to be hygienic. However I don't think she is even aware she is exploring her nose until I prompt her.
She's not good with rewards or punishments as we have never really used these - it seems to confuse her. Her "rewards" are compliments or recognition of an effort/deed and her "punishments" are when we point out that there we have a problem.
I will try to be consistent and EVERY time I see this(just as I do when we are in public I will do so when we are all relaxed at home). And everytime I notice she makes an effort I'll give her a discreet compliment.
I will need to get more supplies of Kleenex too! I like that idea as it shows that I am actively helping her to break her habit. Then it is easy to suggest as a follow on that she uses the bathroom or a private area to deal with it.
That's so true Sarah that each child reacts to different levels of communication. I always try to be as discreet as possible when pointing something disagreable out so that I don't embarass the child. In this way if a child is sensitive to this I think she will respond immediately and if not, maybe their threshold for embarassment is higher, so we can and have to say things a bit more loudly!
I will look into the allergy side of things. She had a lot of excema when small and she still gets flair ups. Maybe her mucous membranes are suffering too.
Thanks for all the advice. Now I feel ready to tackle the problem properly! 
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Mari, mother of 2 loving daughters aged 8 and 10
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Mari
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| Posted: March 16 2006 at 1:57pm | IP Logged
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Rachel May wrote:
This book Your Seven Year Old: Life in a Minor Key by Louise Bates Amesmentions this also. She calls it a "tensional release" and says it usually occurs when the child is tired. That doesn't seem true here though.
I send mine to the bathroom to wash their hands with soap and water every time. The fruity soap I keep in the most used bathrooms makes it clear whether this was done. I've seen it get less frequent this way, but I'm sure it will be a while until it's gone!
Also, in the book No, David! by David Shannon there is a page with a picture of David picking his nose. The words are "Stop that this instant!" This is the phrase we use in public as a reminder. Usually they laugh and put their hands in their pockets. |
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Thanks for this. I think it may be good reading for me. I never realised that there was something special about being 7. Usually I just hear about "terrible 2s" and "teens"!
That's great to make unpleasant things into a joke which everyone can accept with a smile! Well done!! I will find an equivalent with a little girl.
And the hand washing....it sounds a good idea for time to think about it all as well as cleanliness. When my dd's learned to wash their hands, they spent ages doing this. They were really concentrated on something. I always find myself thinking about something when I do this. Something special about washing hands?
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Mari, mother of 2 loving daughters aged 8 and 10
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amiefriedl
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| Posted: March 16 2006 at 3:54pm | IP Logged
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Wow, what a timely thread for us here. Thanks for starting it! I was recently shocked from the constant fingers in the nose and mouth from my oldest ds7. Amazing that it is a characteristic of the age. Now I don't get to blame my in-law's genetics!
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Amie
Blessed with an awesome hubby and Mom of ds10, dd7, dd3 and dd 10months.
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Topic: Fingers in mouth and nose!!!
