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sewcrazy
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| Posted: Jan 04 2010 at 9:31pm | IP Logged
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Warning this is long and I am afraid kind of whiny 
I am trying to get my head above water. I have spent the last couple of years feeling like I am drowning in chaos. I have read MROL and feel inspired to develop my own rule...but I have no 2 days that look alike! How do you develop routines when there is no routine to my day.
For example, today I had a plan all laid out for the day: morning Mass, come home eat breakfast, laundry, dishes, schoolwork, lunch, clean 5 years old's room, laundry, pick up 16 year old from school, etc. Well here is what happened: Mass, breakfast, laundry, spend 6 HOURS driving errands for my dh, pick up son late, come home exhausted with hungry cranky kids that spent the day in the car, no dinner ready, day shot!
Ok the day wasn't shot, my dh needed my help. I know this and understand in my heart, he wouldn't have asked if it wasn't necessary. We own our own business with contracts spread out over 5 states and he needed accounts collected and in the bank today, but that was so not my plan!
This happens often. Not usually 6 hours  but 2 in the middle of the day at least weekly. I just can't figure out how to "plan" for unexpected interruptions like this. I used to manage it, but can't seem to get caught up anymore.
Add to this coop and swim lessons on Wednesdays, Scouts on Fridays, and picking my 16 year old up from his school 40 minutes away daily. I am so tired.
We are behind in our studies, the house is a mess, and we are all crabby. I need to find a way to bring peace and order to my home. I just can't figure out how to do this
Any ideas would be so appreciated!
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LeeAnn
Wife of David, mom to Ben, Dennis, Alex, Laura, Philip and our little souls in heaven we have yet to meet
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Jan 04 2010 at 9:46pm | IP Logged
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OK, understanding that I have a majorly hard time FOLLOWING a rule or a routine or a schedule.
I would get everyone to help pick up the house in the evening after dinner. It will be HARD at first because you're starting with a mess and you're all tired by this time. But if you can get through it (maybe only do one room the first night, then upkeep on that room and a second room the second night etc) But as you ease your daytime stuff.. you won't feel as rushed around and neither will anyone else.. and just removing that stress will help with being less tired. But as it gets to be a routine, it won't be so hard.
I would store the kids school work in backpacks.. then be sure to grab them on the way out the door. Also get some particular helps that would work in the car or not.. like the history or literature audios.
And get some meals in the freezer for days that all chaos breaks out.. and use the crockpot on days when you have time in the morning to get it started so that dinner will be ready later whether you're there or not.
So there you have it.. all things that I fail miserably at but I just know would make it easier if I could do them. Oh wait, we are actually cleaning up right now (7:45pm), almost done and then I promised the kids we'd all play bowling on the Wii  dh is off to a meeting.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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stefoodie
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| Posted: Jan 04 2010 at 9:47pm | IP Logged
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need to go offline soon, but
if this happens often, you might want to do some carschooling? you can plan using audiobooks, movies, etc.
and maybe put the slowcooker on in the morning before you leave, and taking homemade lunches with you?
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stef
mom to five
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stefoodie
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| Posted: Jan 04 2010 at 9:48pm | IP Logged
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LOL, crossposting with you, jodie. praying for you, leeann!
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stef
mom to five
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SaraP
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| Posted: Jan 04 2010 at 10:04pm | IP Logged
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I have worked around the inevitable major interruptions by scheduling everything twice as often as it really needs to be done. So, for example, if I want the bathrooms cleaned weekly, I schedule bathroom cleaning twice each week. That way when my first bathroom cleaning slot gets taken over by whatever, I have a back-up. And if I am able to clean the bathroom the first time I have it scheduled then I can use the second bathroom slot to catch up on something else.
Essentially this forces me to be more realistic than I would otherwise be about how much I can expect to accomplish in a given amount of time and I am saner for it.
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Mama to six on earth, two in heaven and two waiting in Russia. Foxberry Farm Almanac
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sewcrazy
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| Posted: Jan 05 2010 at 6:50am | IP Logged
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Thank you for the suggestions.
I do usually use the Crock pot, but yesterday I had to rush out to be able to get the ciruit done on time. My dd did make sandwichs for everyone, grab some fruit leathers and fill the water bottles before we were out the door, but it wasn't enough food for that long.
The middle two ( the ones that really need to get the schoolwork done) both can't read in the car without headaches. They used to be able to get a lot of work done while we drove, but now they get sick. The kids watched School House Rock, and NG Deep Oceans while we drove yesterday, so some learning happened.
I think if I could form a "rule" with contingencies in it for interruptions, it would work. Unfortunately, I feel so far behind, that I don't know where to start.
My kitchen has been torn apart since the end of July and that is part of my problem. I am so stressed about the project, and without proper places to put things in the kitchen it is a mess and the mess has spilled into adjoining rooms. We have all become accustommed to the clutter in the kitchen and no longer see it elsewhere 
Gosh, I don't mean to sound like I am complaining. I am happy to have a roof over our heads, good food to eat, a dh that works hard to provide for his family, and healthy kids. I just feel like I am not "pulling my weight" I have dropped the ball in managing the home and the kids education 
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LeeAnn
Wife of David, mom to Ben, Dennis, Alex, Laura, Philip and our little souls in heaven we have yet to meet
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Mackfam
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| Posted: Jan 05 2010 at 10:26pm | IP Logged
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LeeAnn,
Can you focus on getting your kitchen workable? Just focus on one room at a time. The kitchen is a pretty important room.
I'd gut my kitchen and re-think everything from drawers to counters to pantry/cupboards and fridge - everything. Whatever is extra I'd just stick in a box somewhere. At least the kitchen is workable and working. Now, it's at maintenance level.
After that, decide which room is next in order of importance for reworking? Keep moving through one room at a time. Keep only what works in the room and put everything else in a box, extra room, or garage to go through later.
As to the trips out of the home, it sounds to me like these are really undermining your days. Can you sit down with your dh and brainstorm something a little more stable/workable. Maybe you could set aside from 1-4 on Wednesday afternoons for running errands for your company - or pick another day that you're already out anyway. I think you could reasonably make the case that protecting and guarding significant time at home is necessary both for your sanity as well as for offering some consistency to the children so that you can do some lessons/reading. Then, if you know you've offered an afternoon a week, you can have some carschooling/CD's for the car available for that time.
Another thing I'd do is be brutal about freeing up my schedule outside the home as much as possible. Obviously, you've got to pick up that 16yo from school (or do you? is a bus available?), but if this were me, I'd be dropping just about everything else in order to give myself time to focus on getting a handle on things at home more. Then, once I felt like I had addressed some biggies, I'd slowly start adding back in to the schedule. I can understand your frustration - it's hard to address some of your concerns if you're never home to do anything.
One last thing I'd do is triage the kid's schoolwork right now...only the bare minimum and assign some independent reading on top of that.
Subtract as many things as possible from your plate so you can address your home and your days and get it to maintenance level. You can't do that if you're never home.
You CAN create a *rule* with room for contingencies - just plan in very BIG blocks of time. Each day's rule may be different and that's just fine if it works for you!
HTH!  Can we help brainstorm other practicals???
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Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19 , ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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Topic: Looking for help
