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MaryM
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| Posted: Oct 26 2009 at 3:17pm | IP Logged
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As per the suggestion to have these questions addressed in separate threads, I've quoted them here:
Michaela wrote:
insegnante wrote:
| On a related note, do your families have friends or other non-relatives whom your kids call "Aunt" or "Uncle?" |
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No. I'm very big on distinguishing family with their (honorary  )title. |
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stefoodie
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| Posted: Oct 26 2009 at 3:41pm | IP Logged
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this is a cultural thing for us -- our kids call other adults Mr. and Mrs. so-and-so. but if they're close enough, i.e., we invite each other to birthday parties, etc. as if they're family, then they get elevated to tita/tito (aunt/uncle) status.
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insegnante
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| Posted: Oct 26 2009 at 3:51pm | IP Logged
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You know, I tend to have strong "feelings" about this (as someone who did not grow up calling non-relatives Aunt and Uncle,) but it's probably precisely the kind of thing I should have more humility about and recognize is just a matter of personal opinion/preference.
So I almost didn't say anything here, but then I thought it might be helpful to some to hear more from the "strong preference against it" contingent, lest they or their husband are in the habit of telling other people's kids to call them "Aunt" or "Uncle" when they're not officially one and haven't consulted with the kids' parents about that, which I have seen happen. But still, it's just not that big a deal.
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Nina Murphy
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| Posted: Oct 26 2009 at 3:58pm | IP Logged
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We do Auntie for godparents and very close friends when Mr. or Mrs. becomes too formal for the level of intimacy we have reached. It is very natural and takes care of itself in its evolution. (We don't have close relationships with many blood Aunts or Uncles, so distinguishing/honoring isn't a big deal for us.)
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hylabrook1
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| Posted: Oct 26 2009 at 4:08pm | IP Logged
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What Nina said.
Peace,
Nancy
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Oct 26 2009 at 4:12pm | IP Logged
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Well, first to explain my family a bit.. generally close friends tend to be taken in wing by my family (and dh's family) AND at least on my side of the family there's a lot of "step" family in various degrees.. but we treat them all like family and only involve the "step" when explaining "relatedness". So.. we're already "taking in" those that are only marginally linked to our family.. (my step-sister's step children for instance).
So when a particular friend is close to us.. comes and spends holidays with us, including something like Thanksgiving at my ILs. And is otherwise treated the same way any other family member is.. we choose to elevate them to "uncle" or "aunt" status. It maintains that degree of respect of child to adult but adds a familiar comfortable component.
This is not a quick thing to happen.. my kids only have one honarary uncle.
and steps are always called the proper honorific for their position in the family. my step-dad (I call dad) is my children's Grandpa and my step-sister is their aunt and her husband is their uncle and my step-sister's step children are their cousins.
I grew up with a technical step-grandma.. my sister and I and cousins all called her grandma even though when I think back on it I realize that our parents all called her by her first name.. so.. whatever.. she was definately a grandma to us so there it is.
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folklaur
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| Posted: Oct 26 2009 at 4:16pm | IP Logged
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depends.
the kid's Godmother is "aunt" even tho she isn't, and her husband is "uncle" - even tho he isn't their godfather (he's not catholic!)
but, in general, no.
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Erin
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Both dh and I are from large families, so our children have so many aunts and uncles already that no one else gets that title. Dh feels pretty strong about this anyway.
We do call one cousin by the title of Aunt. She is my mum's cousin, 10 years her senior, so growing up she was Aunty and continues to be so.
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stefoodie
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| Posted: Oct 26 2009 at 4:57pm | IP Logged
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godmothers/godfathers get another title -- ninong/ninang (filipino for godfather/godmother). if someone's already an uncle (whether blood relative or not) he gets a title change. IOW, godfather is a "higher level" title for us than uncle, which is just the way it is. but now that i think about it, makes sense that the spiritual takes higher priority.
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florasita
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| Posted: Oct 26 2009 at 5:32pm | IP Logged
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Culturly here it is big for metis / aboriginal families call everyone anuty / uncle in my mum's family too they tended to call older women or men aunty or uncle . I love how native people here call boys or girls " my girl / my boy " it drove my kids crazy when my friend would say " come here my girl " but for me I like it reminded me of my childhood etc. I guess .
It is nice for those of us who may not have bloodline family but have a family made of friends
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Mimip
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This is so very interesting... I have to say that it's a cultural thing here. We grew up calling all of my parents' friends by their first names. I know there are quite a few of you appalled by this but again its a Hispanic (mostly Cuban) thing.
Our kids call our closest friends by their first names with Mr. and Mrs in front. For example, Mr. Chris. The rest goes by Mr and Mrs. Last name.
The only exception is godparents. Everyone calls their own godmothers: Madrina (godmother in Spanish). Their godfathers are all uncles who prefer "Uncle whatever" with the exception of our youngest who has a priest for a godfather. He calls him "Padre" .
As for cousins, yeah no, they are just first names and since in Hispanic Culture anyone you've know for most of your lives becomes a "prima or primo" it can get very interesting.
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anniemm
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| Posted: Oct 26 2009 at 10:04pm | IP Logged
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We have one set of "aunt/uncle" non-family members, and they are godparents as well.
I didn't start it, but it's ok with me.
Also, I think they are more worthy of the special, distinguishable title than some actual family members.
Funny enough, all 5 of my siblings are called by their first name by my children. Four of my sisters are 11 and under though! haha
We don't usually do non-family aunt/uncle though, and most adult family friends are Mr./Ms. Firstname. Maybe it's because we're pretty young, but I don't want to be called Mrs. Lastname by my friends' kids. I feel too young for that. 
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KC in TX
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We only had one honorary uncle and when he married his wife became an honorary aunt. He was killed in Iraq but we still continue to use the honorific for his widow.
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Rosesinsummer
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| Posted: Oct 28 2009 at 8:43am | IP Logged
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When I was growing up, I called my godfather "uncle". He was a very close friend of my fathers, and he had no family of his own. It was an honorary title
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Family titles for non-relatives??
