| Author | |
teachingmyown
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 20 2005
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5128
|
| Posted: Aug 18 2009 at 2:42pm | IP Logged
|
 |
|
Would you sell clothes that had been given to you?
We know a couple of families that are well off and have two kids a little older than two of mine. On a couple of occasions, they have given us boxes of clothes that their kids no longer want. Most are not things that my kids like or that I would want them to wear. But they are name brands and in great shape.
What would you do?
__________________
In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
JodieLyn
Forum Moderator
Joined: Sept 06 2006
Location: Oregon
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 12234
|
| Posted: Aug 18 2009 at 2:49pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
If we're having a yard sale.. yes I sell things that are given to me.. if I can.
I figure once they're given, they're mine to do what I will with them. And if we can't use them and they can be sold then that money will help with clothes my kids do need and would use and so the end is the same.. they've helped me out with the clothes for the kids.
__________________
Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Bookswithtea
Forum All-Star
Joined: July 07 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2621
|
| Posted: Aug 18 2009 at 2:58pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I have been in this position before. I prayed about it each time, and felt weird about selling them when I had received them for free. I ended up waiting until God brought someone to mind to give them to, and then giving them away.
__________________
Blessings,
~Books
mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and  due 9/10
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
teachingmyown
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 20 2005
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5128
|
| Posted: Aug 18 2009 at 3:00pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I am selling things at a consignment sale. I need the money to be able to buy the clothes that will suit my kids. Does that make a difference?
__________________
In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Bookswithtea
Forum All-Star
Joined: July 07 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2621
|
| Posted: Aug 18 2009 at 3:04pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
teachingmyown wrote:
| I am selling things at a consignment sale. I need the money to be able to buy the clothes that will suit my kids. Does that make a difference? |
|
|
If they sell, then I'd assume God was ok with it.  Seriously, I once tried to sell a bunch of items that had been given to me at a garage sale and nothing sold. It was very weird, as they were really nice items and we had plenty of traffic. I hadn't prayed beforehand, that time. 
Honestly, if you pray about it and then feel ok about it, then I wouldn't worry. God doesn't tell us all to do the same things with our resources, and He provides for us in different ways.
__________________
Blessings,
~Books
mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and due 9/10
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
LisaR
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2226
|
| Posted: Aug 18 2009 at 3:25pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I would ask the family what they would like to be done with the clothes if they do not fit/work with your kids, just to triple confirm.
you don;t have to say your intentions though.
I had a incident recently that is still really painful for me.
I buy mislabled lots of Hanna's on ebay. sometimes getting super deals.
what don't work for Maria, I ususally resell separately on ebay and make some money in the process.
2-3 times a year I pass down maria's clothes to a family with 2 younger girls, and always say "do whatever you want with these"
recently, I just decided to let this mom have first pick of a windfall I got, before listing on ebay.
I specifically said, take what you like out of this bag, and then I'd like the rest back to sell.
She said the entire bag worked great, what a blessing! I was so happy for her, then not 3 days later found ALL of my hanna's selling at a consignment store for 5-12.00 each.
I learned my lesson to not loan out/give away anything that I really want back.
but still it hurt a bit to see all of my clothes!
(and now with a 3,000 transmission to repair, that money sure would have helped!!  )
__________________
Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
Thomas 11
Dominic 8
Maria Gianna 5
Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
folklaur
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2816
|
| Posted: Aug 18 2009 at 3:45pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
if i have been gifted with things, that i am unable to use, i tend to try to gift them to others. i would feel guilty selling them, but that is just me...
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Red Cardigan
Forum Pro
Joined: June 16 2007
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 470
|
| Posted: Aug 18 2009 at 5:14pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Just to ditto LisaR's story...
A relative of mine with a large family kept the girls' church clothes in good shape to pass along. Seeing a family at Mass whose little girls were in "tired-looking" jeans or very worn-out dresses, my relative offered some dresses (they didn't have a younger girl just then). The mom accepted enthusiastically.
Later she saw my relative again at Mass and said "Thanks again for the nice dresses! We were able to trade a lot of them at the thrift store for lots of jeans and things!"
My relative felt bad. She would much rather have held on to these great-condition "family favorites" for a future daughter or granddaughter and given the family some money or something else to "trade" at the thrift store for what they needed. A little communication would have gone a long way; if the woman had said, "Thanks, but I really don't have room for once-a-week clothes and need new jeans for my girls," I'm sure something could have been worked out that wouldn't have ended with bad feelings.
__________________
http://www.redcardigan.blogspot.com
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
doris
Forum All-Star
Joined: April 24 2006
Location: United Kingdom
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1103
|
| Posted: Aug 18 2009 at 6:52pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
If possible without hurting feelings, I would ask the donor whether she'd mind your selling things that aren't right for your children.
Someone recently gave us a roof bar for our car (he'd sold his, so didn't need it any more). Then we changed our car, and didn't need it ourselves. I felt bad about selling it without asking, so mentioned it to him, and he was absolutely fine about it. We got a few quid for it on ebay.
OTOH, I suppose clothes are a bit more personal, as the stories above illustrate... Hmmm...
__________________
Home educating in London, UK with dd (2000) ds (2002), dd (2004), ds (2008) and dd (2011).
Frabjous Days
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
PDyer
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 25 2005
Location: Ohio
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1043
|
| Posted: Aug 18 2009 at 7:28pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I tend to be more on the giver side than the givee side, so I can't say what I would do in your position, but I can say I don't think I would be offended if you were to sell something I gave you because in my mind a gift is a gift for you to dispose of as you wish, unless I told you I'd like it returned at the get-go.
__________________
Patty
Mom of ds (7/96) and dd (9/01) and two angels (8/95 and 6/08)
Life at Home
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Mimip
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 17 2009
Location: Florida
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1526
|
| Posted: Aug 19 2009 at 9:28am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Molly,
Okay so we are in the same situation all the time. We have a family that has a boy a few years older than mine and give me all their name brand clothes that he out grows. A few times the clothes were just not things I would use so I asked about putting them on consignment and she said she would rather that I just passed them on to another family. I did that. I really would have liked to sell them and use the money but I felt they were given in charity and asked.
On another note, I regularly give all my girls hand me downs to a family in our homeschool group. My children love to see their clothes on the girls but I would have no problem if she wanted to sell them and use the money for other clothes.
I guess, I would say ask first.
HTH 
__________________
In Christ,
Mimi
Wife of 16 years to Tom, Mom of DD'00, DD'02, '04(in heaven) DS'05, DS'08 and DS '12
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
teachingmyown
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 20 2005
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5128
|
| Posted: Aug 19 2009 at 1:14pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Lots of interesting thoughts here.
Normally, I wouldn't sell something given to me. I have friends who aren't wealthy but freely pass things on rather than hold onto them for the possibility of having another child that might need them. Those clothes I pass on to someone else in need. In that situation, I wouldn't feel right making a profit when my friend chose not to. I couldn't imagine taking clothes and selling them without even using them.
I guess I look at these two families differently. We aren't close to them, one is a former co-worker of dh, the other a baseball acquaintance. Each family has a teenage son and teenage daughter. They give us bags and bags of clothes, most of which I donate right off. The things I want to sell are clothes that I hung onto but realized later they won't work, like husky jeans for my skinny son. Both of these families wanted to help us out instead of just taking their stuff to Goodwill.
Still deliberating...
__________________
In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
LucyP
Forum All-Star
Joined: Aug 05 2007
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 791
|
| Posted: Aug 19 2009 at 2:39pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I once gave some cloth nappies to a lady who did a lot of cloth nappy promotion work - I knew she had loads, so I asked her to pass them onto someone who wanted to use cloth but didn't have the budget.
Later she came to me and said "it's okay with you that I kept the nappies and used them for my son isn't it?", and I of course had to say yes - although, to be honest, it wasn't that okay! Later, when her son was older and we had a new child, I asked for them back - which was but otherwise we wouldn't have been able to use cloth as it is a bigger investment up front than a pack of disposables a week.
I tend to feel that I should bless others with what I have been blessed with - so I don't sell on anything I have been given. But then typically I don't sell on anything anyway - I see giving away stuff as the only way I can give when I don't have access to money to give. 
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
SusanJ
Forum All-Star
Joined: May 25 2007
Location: New Jersey
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1347
|
| Posted: Aug 19 2009 at 3:16pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I would treat things differently depending on how they'd been given. If they were a gift--like from friends or family for some occasion--I tend to say that they were a gift and you are free to do what you like with them.
If the item is donated in the spirit of spreading resources around among people who need stuff I always try to re-donate or return the items. Usually I ask the donor what they'd like to have done with things.
Susan
__________________
Mom to Joseph-8, Margaret-6, William-4, Gregory-2, and new little one due 11/1
Life Together
[URL=http://thejohnstonkids.blogspot.com]The Kids' Blog[/UR
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Patty
Forum Pro
Joined: March 27 2005
Location: Kansas
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 170
|
| Posted: Aug 20 2009 at 10:54am | IP Logged
|
|
|
In general I would not have a problem selling items that had been given to me, UNLESS the giver made a specific request, such as to please pass along what you cannot use to someone else.
Once a friend gave me two huge trash bags full of nice clothes. I specifically asked, "Do you want any of these things back?" And she said, definitely not. I don't think I sold any of those; I am pretty sure I donated what we did not use.
I really don't see what the problem is with selling items for the most part. They are still going to someone else to use, and the extra money is helping you buy things you need. It is not hurting the person who gave you the items.
Here's a question: what do you do with brand new things that people give you, that you cannot use because they are the wrong size, or for some other reason? My dear mother, God rest her soul, was constantly giving me baby clothes that were WAY too big. Her theory was that babies grow fast, but usually by the time they did, it was the wrong season. I didn't always know where she'd bought the clothes so didn't return them. The ones that we couldn't use usually got passed along to friends.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Stephanie_Q
Forum Pro
Joined: Aug 25 2007
Location: Nebraska
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 479
|
| Posted: Aug 20 2009 at 5:06pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
As you deliberate, I hope this helps:
"Christian temperance is a virtue that causes us to use all pleasuarble or delighful things in such a way that they contribute to our own sanctification and the sanctification of others. It doesn't mean being miserable, but it does mean using the things of this world wisely and well. And when we have too much, we should give it away. That is not charity. Charity is when you give away what you need. Giving away what you don't need is benevolence. Most decent people are benevolent. How many are likely to go without what they need and give the money away? That's charity." (p. 87 "The Virtue Driven Life", Fr. Benedict Groeschel)
Prayer: "O Lord Jesus Christ, teach me to use all the things of this life and this world for Your kingdom. Whatever I need or enjoy, whatever things I use in this brief time of life, help me always to use them for Your honor and glory and for the betterment of others. Remind me always that we are passing through this world, and that our ownership of things is very temporary - almost an illusion. Help me to curb my needs and appeties so that I will be more prepared to give up things for Your honor and glory and for the needs of my neighbor." (pp.89-90, ibid.)
__________________
Stephaniedh 6.01
dd 6.02, dd 8.03, ds 3.05, ds 12.06 at Catholic school.
dd 12.09 at home.
Baby boy due 10.13
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
|
|
4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Ethical question
