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Bethany
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| Posted: Aug 13 2009 at 3:20pm | IP Logged
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Well, we did receive an invitation to the wedding and I've never thought of myself as Miss Manners, but the response card is weird. I know they did this in a effort to be cute or funny, but I think it's strange for a formal invitation. There's also been much talk of how formal and "Old Charleston" this wedding is going to be.
To reply you have not 2 but 4 options.
Enthusiastically Accepts
Regretfully Accepts
Regretfully Declines
Enthusiastically Declines
It took a minute of looking at it to even see the humor. I think I have a pretty good sense of humor, but this just struck me as a little tacky.
Am I just really a bore and would they think it was cute if I responded "Regretfully Accepts" since I'm not really looking foward to an 18 hour one way drive with four kids and the hotel bill?
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Bethany
Wife to Mike, Mommy to Amelia (6/02), Sarah (10/03), Martha Grace (10/05), Rebecca Anne (12/07), Laura Catherine (3/10) and Reed Michael 7/4/14.
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Nique
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| Posted: Aug 13 2009 at 3:23pm | IP Logged
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"Always tell the truth" I tell my kids! Put down what you feel, it will make you feel better (YIKES! 18 hours ONE WAY???)..and if someone happens to remember what you checked off, laugh and say "Oh, I was just having alittle fun!"
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I had always thought that once you grew up you could do anything you wanted - stay up all night or eat ice cream straight out of the container. ~Bill Bryson
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Nique
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| Posted: Aug 13 2009 at 3:33pm | IP Logged
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Oooh! I just clicked on your link about the history of the Wedding..and for the sake of your health and sanity, I'd write to the side of it the # attending, and circle it. Then let your kids scribble all over it, no just kidding. And don't forget to mail it back 
If anyone asks later, say it was a busy day and you hadn't read it completely.
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I had always thought that once you grew up you could do anything you wanted - stay up all night or eat ice cream straight out of the container. ~Bill Bryson
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Aug 13 2009 at 3:47pm | IP Logged
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very strange and not at all the thing for a formal invitation imo.
For family relations, just check the one that won't cause hard feelings and mail it and forget it.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
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guitarnan
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| Posted: Aug 13 2009 at 6:43pm | IP Logged
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I'm visiting my wonderful friend who is well-versed in etiquette...she suggests you consider this a passive-aggressive attempt at humor. I can appreciate (fully!) the fact that you need to be there regardless of what you might really like to do, but I think you should just check one of the accepts and cross out the adverb...how does that sound?
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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Bethany
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| Posted: Aug 13 2009 at 7:13pm | IP Logged
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Oh, I know it's some attempt at humor and I might find it funny for a BYOB Bar B Q or an "Over the Hill" birthday party, but this is a fairly formal wedding. I may just handwrite "will attend".
I guess this is just one more strange thing with this wedding that I'm begining to wonder if I'm just completely "old school" when it comes to weddings. I mean, this wedding is at 3:30 in the afternoon on a Friday. Saturday would make sense for that time, but Friday? Also, it's at 3:30, but there is a sit down dinner reception. This seems a little early. Also, not all wedding guests are invited into the sit down dinner. Everyone will be seperated and some given heavy hor dourves and will be outside playing lawn games until everyone else is done with dinner. If I couldn't serve everyone dinner, due to cost or space, I would not have a sit down dinner at all.
But it's not my wedding and I know I can be much to practical at times  .
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Bethany
Wife to Mike, Mommy to Amelia (6/02), Sarah (10/03), Martha Grace (10/05), Rebecca Anne (12/07), Laura Catherine (3/10) and Reed Michael 7/4/14.
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Aug 13 2009 at 7:18pm | IP Logged
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oh my.. that would not be ok by me either.. I hope they have friends left when it's all said and done.. or maybe the ones they want to have afterward all get the dinner 
BUT at least you did get an invite.
Oh and I know I said it above.. but I would think just checking the "Enthusiastically Accepts" will leave your answer standing out LESS than trying to adapt it to something more acceptable, thereby creating less problems in the long run.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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guitarnan
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| Posted: Aug 13 2009 at 7:29pm | IP Logged
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Hmmm. That is quite unusual...and I've attended receptions at horse stables (with bride and groom in western attire, while dressed-up guests had to sit on hay bales).
The awkward situation is not your problem, though. All you need to do is attend if that's your choice, and smile politely, wish the happy couple well, and send up a few prayers.
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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Red Cardigan
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| Posted: Aug 13 2009 at 8:13pm | IP Logged
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Well, Miss Manners (whom I don't always like) still thinks response cards aren't proper even though everybody uses them.
It's *always* polite to respond to a wedding invitation formally. As you probably already know, you use the third person, and write accordingly:
Mr. and Mrs. X
Miss X, Miss Jane X, and Master Robert X (etc.)
are pleased to accept (or accept with pleasure, or gladly accept)
the invitation of
Mr. and Mrs. Wedding Hosts (or Mr. and Miss, or Miss, etc., depending on who is officially hosting the wedding)
for Friday, August X,
at 3:30 in the afternoon.
I've used this format to decline invitations, too; you just substitute "regret that they are unable to accept" instead of "are pleased to accept," and go from there.
It's kind of fun to write out the formal response, on nice paper with a good pen.  People seem to appreciate it, too.
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folklaur
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| Posted: Aug 13 2009 at 10:56pm | IP Logged
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having just been deluged with all things wedding....a lot of things that would never have been acceptable before - are now.
i learned that many couples don't even use response cards - they have people respond on a website or by phone or email.
or - it could be something like, the groom thought this was a funny way to do it. since bride/mother-of-the-bride got to decide everything else, they "let" the groom have his goofy response card.
i would just check off the one you feel won't come back to haunt you, and then forget about it.
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Bookswithtea
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| Posted: Aug 14 2009 at 8:51am | IP Logged
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cactus mouse wrote:
| i learned that many couples don't even use response cards - they have people respond on a website or by phone or email. |
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Really? Sigh...I must be living in the dark ages. I guess I can see the appeal, but it just loses something in an email, I think...
I vote for writing your own formal and lovely response in passive protest to a tacky response card. 
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mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and  due 9/10
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CrunchyMom
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| Posted: Aug 14 2009 at 9:07am | IP Logged
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I'd check enthusiastically accepts--maybe those are the people who get the sit down dinner.
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Lindsay
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