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Syncletica
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| Posted: June 18 2008 at 10:56pm | IP Logged
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to a lady who does not want to get her tubes tied, or whatever it is that she is going to do, but feels she has to, or else she won't have a husband. She's not Catholic. She would love more children, but her husband, whom she only sees once every few weeks or so, won't have it. He is an atheist.
I know there was a saint who said to a woman who complained of being pregnant, yet again,"...if you only knew the women who go to Hell for not giving to the world the children God wanted to send her."
And that Tobias ch. 6 states:
16 Then the angel Raphael said to him: Hear me, and I will show thee who they are, over whom the devil can prevail. 17 For they who in such manner receive matrimony, as to shut out God from themselves, and from their mind, and to give themselves to their lust, as the horse and mule, which have not understanding, over them the devil hath power.
22 And when the third night is past, thou shalt take the virgin with the fear of the Lord, moved rather for love of children than for lust, that in the seed of Abraham thou mayst obtain a blessing in children.
I'm not sure what to say, but I feel the need to say something....
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Becky Parker
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| Posted: June 19 2008 at 6:36am | IP Logged
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Wow, this is difficult. The only thing I can think of would be to fast and pray for the husband. A novena to St. Joseph would be good, but if she's not Catholic that might not be something she is interested in doing.
I have a neighbor who is not Catholic. She told me the other day that she has "reached her thresh-hold" with her two children so she "knows she has fulfilled her duty regarding child bearing". I had no idea what to say. I know that the teaching many protestants receive is very different than what we Catholics receive. I heard a protestant speaker one time who said "God said 'be fruitfull and multiply' and I'm sure he would agree that we have done that and now it's time to move on to the next step" or something like that. He was saying that we no longer should be worried about "multiplying" and that it is okay to say "no" to more children.
I realize I am absolutely no help here. Just sharing my experience. I would say the one thing that can be done is to pray for a miracle and maybe just say what you believe to be the truth, hoping it doesn't fall on deaf ears.
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Becky
Wife to Wes, Mom to 6 wonderful kids on Earth and 4 in Heaven!
Academy Of The Good Shepherd
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mama251ders
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| Posted: June 19 2008 at 11:06am | IP Logged
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I think there is a bigger issue here in regards to their marriage and relationship. They both need some serious prayers and so do their children. My dh's sister is in a similar type marriage and we have never been able to figure it out. I know that's no help, but I will be praying for them.
Betsie
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Benny, Braidon, Olivia, Anna and Saragh
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Betsy
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| Posted: June 19 2008 at 12:05pm | IP Logged
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In these instances I like to "break the ice" with health facts. I would try to gently present her with the health risks involved with "getting your tubes tied" or a vasectomy. Many/most people think these are just painless surgery's with no side effects. That isn't the case.
Betsy
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Barbara C.
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| Posted: June 19 2008 at 12:45pm | IP Logged
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I love how he's the one who doesn't want anymore kids but she's the one expected to have surgery to prevent them.  Something tells me that this is one of many issues in their marriage. And I can't help wondering if he already has one foot out the door. (Love how I analyze people I don't know.)
I would start with the health risks. Then maybe explain what you would do in her situation and why church teachings). Then tell her you'll pray that it works out.
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Barbara
Mom to "spirited" dd(9), "spunky" dd (6), "sincere" dd (3), "sweet" dd (2), and baby girl #5 born 8/1/12!!
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Syncletica
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| Posted: June 19 2008 at 1:16pm | IP Logged
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I'm not yet aware of the health risks....can someone give me a bit of a run-down of them?
Thanks!
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Taffy
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| Posted: June 19 2008 at 1:38pm | IP Logged
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Well, here's a risk of tubal ligation...
My former brother-in-law had a vasectomy years ago and spent two weeks in major pain due to a resulting infection.
How's that for starters? 
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Susan
Mom to 5 on earth and 1 in heaven
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folklaur
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| Posted: June 19 2008 at 1:57pm | IP Logged
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Is she a Christian, but just not a Catholic? If she isn't Catholic, then it is likely she won't really care what the Church teaches or why, and it will have even less of an effect on changing her husbands thoughts on the matter if he is an atheist.
I hate the idea of using "scare tactics" to change her mind. I mean, yes, the articles linked are horrible, and we have all heard horror stories about having these procedures done - but that isn't the case for most people who have them done. So again, I am not sure how well it would go over for her (or her dh.)
It seems to me she is trying to "please" him - her issues aren't really about pregnancies, sterilization, etc. There seems to be other, deeper rooted problems in the relationship. She is trying to use this as a band-aid for much bigger problems.
I have no advice, but I will send prayers.
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: What would you say..
