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folklaur
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| Posted: May 30 2008 at 10:08pm | IP Logged
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Are you part of a homeschool group?
If yes, how often do you do things with the group?
If not, do you do things with other homeschoolers, or just on your own? (Like field trips, etc). (For instance, here in LV there is City-wide homeschool activities put on by the roller rinks, bowling alleys, and Bounce-house places - so it is just open to all homeschoolers in the city, and not oraganized by a particular group. But then there are groups that do other thigns, too, of course.)
If not, and you don't really have neighborhood kids to play with yet (and the ones next door you aren't real sure about anyway!  ), is just being in gymnastics and scouts "enough" extra stuff? ( my instinct says, "NO, they need free play time with other kids." Is this a true statement, or just Mommy-guilt?)
But what if there are no other kids?
Do they need CLOSE friends at ages 9 and 6, or is the "playground friends that they see once" sufficient?
Yes, they are each others best friends. But ds9 really doesn't want to play Polly Pocket. 
aaaggggg..... 
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juststartn
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| Posted: May 30 2008 at 11:05pm | IP Logged
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Laura, honey, I am right there with you.
We aren't members of a group (yet). We have no neighbors with dc, being as out in the country we are. Our dc's best friends, previously, lived 45 min away. Before that, they were 20. Now they are in NC and MO, and we are in OK...so you can imagine how hard that is for them. We didn't see them THAT much, but still.
We've not met anyone in our parish yet. The only Catholic homeschoolers in the area go to the parish in the opposite direction, and I've not met them yet. I'm thinking I am going to need to call and speak with that parish's secretary, and have her act as a go-between for me...just so I can see if I can find "someone" for the dc...
They play well together. But DH worries. We don't even have any extra-curricular activities. I keep myself from worrying over much because I try to keep in mind that pioneer families had only themselves alot of the time, and they managed to survive.
I'm sorry you are in NV. Cause at our dds' would enjoy the PP (we have them too)...
Rachel
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Married DH 4/1/95
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David 5/7/07
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: May 30 2008 at 11:52pm | IP Logged
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Give yourselves time.. take a deep breath.. relax.. no one.. even public school kids tend to make friends immediately.. like when my sister moved up here.. it took months before her boys in public school started getting invited to things or meeting up with kids "around the corner" or such.
Do the things you like to do. If you want to be able to do things with other homeschoolers.. go to the open stuff.. find a group to try out.. if there's things you want to do.. gymnastics or 4H or whatever.. get involved in those.. everyone will meet more compatible people if you're doing things because you want to do them.. not just to meet people. But it usually takes getting involved to meet people.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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LisaR
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| Posted: May 31 2008 at 8:54am | IP Logged
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as my kids have gotten older, I have come to feel more blesssed that we have "good" neighborhood kids that my boys can play with. we don;t have to schedule playdates, attivities, etc, kwim? they are able to play outside on the sidewalk, or in a few backyards, and when I or another mom whistles or calls, they come back home.
I love seeing the imaginative free play that involves my 3 y/o up to my almost 15 y/o. it is also neat to see a game pick up where it left off a day or days before, and the fluidness of kids coming and going.
if this is not an option for you, the second best, IMHO, is Park Days, planned by a homeschool group, etc. there the kids can (usually) free play, etc.
bring a ball, some sidewalk chalk, etc and see what happens.. 
yes, we do organized sports (lots of them!!) and other assorted field trips and activities, co-ops, etc.
but I am grateful that my kids have lots of free play, too, and I empathize with you!
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Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
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Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
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SallyT
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| Posted: May 31 2008 at 11:30am | IP Logged
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It took us a good 2 years and more to meet up with a really congenial homeschool group. Part of that was that we weren't Catholic yet, didn't really fit in with the Protestant homeschooling groups, didn't really fit in with the secular unschoolers -- this last began to be really obvious as our oldest became a preteen. She had some good friends in that group, but as they all became older, I began to see that we needed a . . . different? . . . peer group. At about the same time, I began to be convinced that we needed to be Catholic and contacted our local group, which has been wonderful. They were there all the time, of course -- it just took us time to find them.
So we've done seasons of being totally on our own, as well as seasons of being immersed in a group. My own thought is that it's possible to be TOO immersed, actually. We had a very busy year this year, with my and my daughter's involvement in high-school co-op, and I'm looking forward to a more home-oriented year for all of us next year. I've made some very good contacts in NC, where we're preparing to move, but we're going to move slowly in getting involved in groups.
What's been valuable to my kids is not so much the group involvement per se, because frankly that can be a lot like meeting playground friends. You go on a field trip, or to the skating rink, and maybe your kids meet up with some buddies, but then you don't see them again for a month, or ever. Of course, going to group things meant that eventually we did meet up with families with whom we've become friends, as a family, and the kids have found stable friendships within those larger relationships. Our best family friends belong to our Catholic homeschooling group, but we actually met through mutual friends or other venues (we have good friends we met through a First Things discussion group which didn't involve kids at all).
My take on organized activities -- we've done ballet, soccer, choir and drama -- is that largely the social activity is confined to while they're at the class. We have not had much luck transitioning activity-friends into come-to-my-house friends. I don't know why that is. Maybe because the activity-friends have largely gone to school and had a group of friends already, and weren't available to play when we were?
If you're on any local homeschooling email loops, you might try starting a regular park day, or a games night, or something that you host. I find that the fact that we're starting something on our own initiative makes my kids more excited about interacting with the other kids who come. I've done creative writing in my back yard, for instance, and hosted high-school game nights and get-togethers. When we move and get ourselves a little bit oriented, I'm thinking of doing a big homeschooling family potluck, so that we can start to meet people. Having been to group activities where no one talked to us because they didn't recognize us, I like the idea of being the hostess -- whoever comes HAS to talk to me, because it's my house!
Seasons of "just each other" seem not to have hurt my kids. Developing real friendships takes time, as others have said. I'll be interested to see how much of my own sage advice I actually take when we're the newcomers . . .
Sally
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folklaur
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| Posted: May 31 2008 at 12:03pm | IP Logged
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Thanks .
juststartn wrote:
I'm sorry you are in NV. Cause at our dds' would enjoy the PP (we have them too)...
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We would love to have you over for a PP play date! I am sorry I am in NV too...
juststartn wrote:
| because I try to keep in mind that pioneer families had only themselves alot of the time, and they managed to survive. |
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Yes, I have thought the same thing.
***
The big problem, for me, I think, is that I left a pretty active Catholic group, and a really great secular group. The Catholic group here...well...
They are all on the West side of town, I am on the East side. ALL the activities are on the West side. ALL of them. No one seems to want to drive in either direction - could be gas prices? But it seems to be more than that.
I found out that a lot of the Catholic Families on the Wesy side meet weekly for Church/Adoration and Park Day - but that it isn't on the calendar for the group. Most families just go to that, and if you happen to find out, then you go to. But it isn't "advertised" as a group activity all.
The only group activities on the calendar seem to be the parent's volunteering at a Men's Shelter, and an occasionally Little Flower's meeting on the West side.
There's no park day, no nothing. I tried when we got here, to post about getting together for a park day - not one reply. 100 Catholic families and not one reply. sigh. I tried not to take it personally, but...
The groups on this side of town...are REALLY Protestant or REALLY secular (like two Wiccan ladies run one of them, that kind of thing .)
I am at a loss.
And I don't want to be all like "back in AZ it was like this." And I really don't want to keep finding fault with NV - some things are actually really nice -- I really, really like my house, I love my yard (we have had so many neat birds!), the weather has been gorgeous, we are spending lots of time with dh, I live right across the street from a great library, WholeFoods (my favorite store) is a 1/2 mile away by gorgeous walking paths, there is an amazing "shopping district" with an old-fashioned carousel in the middle...etc. There are lots of things I am really liking!
But. Honestly. People just aren't as nice. Even store cashiers, etc. They just aren't as nice. I thought it was just me thinking that, being negative, but while my Mom was her she went to the store, and came home and said to me, "Wow, there are a LOT of rude people here!"
sorry. rambled a bit there, huh? sorry....
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Chari
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| Posted: May 31 2008 at 1:16pm | IP Logged
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Laura,
I moved around A LOT when I was a kid.....I hear what you are saying.
When I was looking for homeschoolers in NV once.......we were lonely when we spent time in Nevada.......which we do a lot........so, we went looking for some homeschooling friends. We found this group:
URL=http://groups.yahoo.com/group/CathHSersofNV/]Catholic Homeschoolers in Southern Nevada[/URL]
and another.........and, we ended up finding on a secular email group for Northern NV, which is where we spend time.....some of the best friends we have ever had. In fact, I just got off of the phone with the mom a few minutes ago.
I passed a few emails with the Southern NV group, and they seemed very nice.
I just wanted to put this out there.
Also, my kids do not have hardly any friends locally........and some really do not have any at all their age. Their best friends are either someone outside their age range.........or the children of some of my homeschooling mom friends from these boards (like Willa, for instance).....and none live close.
they play with each other almost exclusively and it works for us.......and it is like Lisa says.......they just play some games days on end. Mine are older now.........all but one are over 11yrs.......and now they sew and scrapbook together.......hike and ride bikes together. This is going to lay such a great foundation for them when they are all adults. I am excited at what I already see as they slowly (yeah, right!) reach adulthood.
Praying for you!
Oh, one more thing: at Yahoogroups if you put in homeschool and Nevada in their searchforagroup link...........about ten come up........and about half are for Southern NV
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Dh Marty 27yrs...3 lovely maidens: Anne 24, Sarah 20 & Maddelyn 17 and 3 chivalrous sons: Matthew 22, Garrett 16 & Malachy 11
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: May 31 2008 at 3:22pm | IP Logged
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I've tended to find that bigger towns are harder to meet people in.. and especially in a place like LV where there's so many people just going through.. it just takes more time.. people need to get used to seeing you over time.. so they know you're staying around and such.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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Michaela
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| Posted: May 31 2008 at 4:47pm | IP Logged
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Laura, I'm so sorry you are having a difficult time there. You know I'd trade places with you in a heartbeat!
I understand EXACTLY what you are talking about because I was there.
We formed the NW group because we were tired of driving to the other side of town. There is such a large homeschooling group there that many hang out within their area (their side of town). It's not the gas as much as where they usually meet up.
The NW group hung out at Silver Mesa rec center (very informal PE, sooo much more...socialization for us moms...meeting the news moms...inviting them to the park afterwards...things that weren't put on the group)we always were at the Dinosaur park, Butterfly park, or Mtn Crest park. We never went to other parts of LV because so much was happening in the N and NW. (We did go to Nellis often for shopping and medical. Nothing homeschool related.)
The homeschool groups we belong to here are nothing like what we experienced there. It has taken us almost THREE YEARS to establish friendships. The weather is a major contributor to that. We only have park day from mid May to August!!!!
The absolute best way to casually meet people is to attend park day. Park days are weekly there which helps so much when you find a family that you "click" with.
Children play together and moms are able to talk without music blarring at the skating rink or chasing littles at the bowling alley.
Jodie is absolutely right in that if the moms see you often at park days or events, then they know you are there to stay not just coming for the event never to be seen until the next huge party.
Ok, I've rambled on. Give it more time. I had to come out of my shell in Vegas.
We'd go back in a heartbeat, but we just bought this house.
You are often in my thoughts.
I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
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Michaela
Momma to Nicholas 16, Nathan 13, Olivia 13, Teresa 6, & Anthony 3
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JuliaT
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We are in a similar situation. We live out in no-man's land, so there aren't many children that live nearby. We attend a small church and the numbers of children attending are dwindling. We do have a homeschool group but we meet sporadically.
My dd(9) is the one who is having the hardest time with this. She would dearly love to have a friend her own age. She had two friends that she was close with but one moved to Bolivia in March and we just found out that the other friend is moving to Missouri at the end of June. My dd did not take this well.
We recently met another homeschool family whom we have been doing things with. This has been an answer to prayer for me. To have another hs mom to talk to has been wonderful. But her oldest is 6 and is a boy so, even though, my dd plays well with her children, it isn't the same as having someone your own age to play with. I have been thinking about having a living math day once or twice a month and asking some of the homeschooling famiies to join us.
Blessings
Julia
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Topic: R U part of a homeschool group? more ?'s
