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Lisbet
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| Posted: May 09 2008 at 9:03am | IP Logged
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How's that for a downer?
Today is my birthday. I am physically recovering from losing our baby. Emotionally, have the Blues. In a big way. I cried my way through mass last night. This time of year is always bittersweet for me. Before becoming a mother, I never thought of my birth mother at my birthday, since becoming a mother, she's all I can think about. (Mothers Day adds to this too!)
I have no one to talk about this with. My husband kind of gets me, he listens and boy oh boy does that man love! :) But, there is an ache there, almost like something is missing.
My adoptive mother would probably have to be commited if I tried to discuss this with her. Seriously, she is mentally unstable. The most we ever discuss adoption is when I'm pregnant and she says I'm just 'doing this' to hurt her because she was never able to have children. 
Any other adoptees goe through this? It is so hard to explain the emotions involved. This year it seems intensified because of our miscarriage.
__________________
Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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MarilynW
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| Posted: May 09 2008 at 9:11am | IP Logged
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Lisa - lots of hugs on your birthday. I will offer my prayers today for you.
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Marilyn
Blessed with 6 gifts from God
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chicken lady
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| Posted: May 09 2008 at 9:18am | IP Logged
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Praying to Our Lady for your tender heart today.
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missionfamily
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| Posted: May 09 2008 at 9:34am | IP Logged
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Oh Lisa--You have been on my mind so much lately. For my cousin who was adopted, I know there was always something a little bittersweet about her birthday. I pray your tender ache earn you special graces for holy motherhood and children heroic in virtue.
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Colleen
dh Greg
mom to Quinn,Gabriel, Brendan,Evan, Kolbe, and sweet St. Bryce
Footprints on the Fridge
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Mackfam
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| Posted: May 09 2008 at 9:46am | IP Logged
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Lisa - Hugs to you today! May Our Lady give you comfort today and as your tender heart mourns the loss of your littlest.
I lost a child right before Mother's Day 9 years ago - each Mother's Day is a little bittersweet for me now. I understand a little of the heartache. Sending empathy prayers to you this weekend, and praying also that God will give you peace if not resolution in the case of your birth mother. This does seem like another heavy cross.
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Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19 , ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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Courtney
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| Posted: May 09 2008 at 10:25am | IP Logged
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Prayers and hugs for you Lisa. And HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
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Courtney in Texas
Wife to Mike since 3/94
Mom to Candace 10/97 ,Christopher 4/00 and Connor 11/11
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DominaCaeli
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| Posted: May 09 2008 at 10:26am | IP Logged
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I will be praying for you today, Lisa. My (adopted) son's birthday is very bittersweet for me as well--it's such a different kind of day for me than my (biological) daughter's birthday...his birthmother is very much on my mind as his second birthday approaches.
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Blessings,
Celeste
Joyous Lessons
Mommy to six: three boys (8, 4, newborn) and four girls (7, 5, 2, and 1)
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hylabrook1
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| Posted: May 09 2008 at 10:36am | IP Logged
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Lisa -
I feel for you. I know several adoptees who share your feelings. Also, after having had children, my empathy with other mothers in general (those raising the children they birthed, those raising adopted children, and those who gave their children up for others to adopt and raise) went WAY up. It really touches a cord in your heart, iykwim. And, you are in an especially emotionally difficult time right now.
Praying for you, and Happy Birthday.
Peace,
Nancy
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Maddie
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| Posted: May 09 2008 at 11:12am | IP Logged
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I wasn't adopted but my mother and I have been estranged for years. It aches to not have a mother who loves and cares for you as I care for my daughters (and sons too). You want mothering even as a grown woman and it's just not there for whatever reason.
No words of wisdom, just lots of empathy. There are so many days I need a mom just like me to comfort me and I don't have it. My small comfort is good mothering for my family starts NOW. My children will never know that pain of abandonment, my grandchildren will be stronger because of what I am giving now and what I have suffered now and in the past. The buck stops here and God must have thought I could handle this pain because he gave it to me to suffer for the sake of my children.
I hope that doesn't sound flip and maybe it's not even helpful.
Either way. Regardless of how you got here, you're here and, I'm sure I speak for everyone here, we are all so glad you are because we all have learned much from you.
God bless you and Happy Birthday.
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~Maddie~
Wife to my dh and Momma of 9 dear ones
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stefoodie
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| Posted: May 09 2008 at 11:37am | IP Logged
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Oh Lisa. Lots of prayers and hugs for you, especially today, dear.
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stef
mom to five
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mama251ders
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| Posted: May 09 2008 at 12:14pm | IP Logged
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Lisa, I'm praying for you today. How hard this must be for you.
Blessings,
Betsie
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Wife to Oliver
Mama to 5 Wonders
Benny, Braidon, Olivia, Anna and Saragh
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cvbmom
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| Posted: May 09 2008 at 12:19pm | IP Logged
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No words of wisdom, but just prayers. Happy Birthday and Happy Mother's Day. Enjoy the family you DO have, and may God bring you peace!
God bless,
Christine
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Wife to dh - 18 years!
Mom to dd (16), ds (15), dd, (12), dd (11), ds (9), dd (8), dd (7), ds (5), dd (3), ds (2), and ds (1)
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Veronica's Veil
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| Posted: May 09 2008 at 12:22pm | IP Logged
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I am so very sorry for your loss. I will be praying for you.
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Natalia
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| Posted: May 09 2008 at 12:54pm | IP Logged
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A happy birthday and a hug for you Lisa. May the Lord comfort and heal you.
Love,
Natalia
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Natalia
http://pannuestrodecadadia.blogspot.com
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mary theresa
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Lisa, you a wonderful woman. You inspire me too!
Happy Birthday!
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Mary Theresa
mother to 3 little girls --March '06, Dec '07 and Jan '10
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Waverley
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| Posted: May 09 2008 at 2:08pm | IP Logged
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Lisa, Happy Birthday. Although you may not know your birth mother, I am certain that as she is in your heart today, you are in her heart as well.
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Anneof 5
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Lisa,
As an adoptive mom and one who has also suffered miscarriages, I can relate with some of the things you are experiencing. I know personally that on my adoptive kids' birthdays I feel a sense of sadness because I wasn't there to hold them and be there for them. It just didn't happen that way and instead I met them a few weeks later for the first time. It all happens in God's time, not ours.
God bless you and I wish you a happy, though maybe a little different, birthday this year. No matter, it will be one you will treasure and learn from in some special way. Hugs to you!!
Anne
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amyable
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| Posted: May 09 2008 at 2:49pm | IP Logged
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Oh Lisa - I only have a minute right now, but I *am* adopted and I know JUST what you are saying. You can PM me if you want to talk privately...and I can also try to get back here to reply again later.
Huge, HUGE hugs to you. This triple whammy of birthday, miscarriage, and Mother's Day must be hitting especially, achingly hard. (if I could put a million of these I would)
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Amy
mom of 5, ages 6-16, and happy wife of 
The Highly Sensitive Homeschooler
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Cay Gibson
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| Posted: May 09 2008 at 2:57pm | IP Logged
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Oh, Lisa, I want you to have a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 
And here's a great big (((((HUG)))))!
You dear, dear lady, you!
__________________
Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks
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msclavel
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| Posted: May 09 2008 at 3:43pm | IP Logged
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Lisa you are a treasure. I don't understand completely, but I do wish I could hug you. Happy Birthday and our Lord's peace.
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Birthday, Adoption, Miscarriage, Blues
