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12stars
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| Posted: May 05 2008 at 3:32pm | IP Logged
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I was wondering because we have 5 children and I am in need of motivation. I know that this is what God wants of me right now, to homeschool and stay at home but I just cannot seem to manage every thing by my self and my dh helps me alot. My ds son is almost 6 months and still nurses alot and I love every minute of it but I guess I am feeling like I should do more. I know that I need to get on my knees so much more and pray but I just dont do it.
I am a revert to the church and this is our 2nd year homeschooling but for some reason this year was hard on me and I am ready to be done with it and do something else for next year. My girls are ready too. I really dont have support from other mamas in my area but luckily I found a park day that catholic mamas just started and it is not too far away. So we will be doing that and hopefully next year it will get better. I was wondering how you mamas handle the needs of big families.
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Lisbet
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| Posted: May 05 2008 at 3:38pm | IP Logged
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Welcome! :) I have nine children, 8ms to 13 years old. I have two nursling too, so I spend alot of time with a little one in my lap too! 
If I could give one piece of advise (though I'm really not qualified!!) from reading your post above. Be gentle on yourself. Go about your daily duties with gentleness, with intent, and with prayer. That is the only way to do anything. Now, I'm off to take my own advise. 
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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Maryan
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| Posted: May 05 2008 at 3:53pm | IP Logged
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I have 5 too! Other than getting on my knees, I come here to help me stay motivated when I start to feel overwhelmed. I also have other homeschooling friends and family near me too. So I think connecting with the moms in the park sounds like a great idea!
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Maryan
Mom to 6 boys & 1 girl: JP('01), B ('03), M('05), L('06), Ph ('08), M ('10), James born 5/1/12
A Lee in the Woudes
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juststartn
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| Posted: May 05 2008 at 4:08pm | IP Logged
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I've got five (the two youngest are twins, and will be a year old later this week).
I don't really have any advice, other than to just cut yourself some slack. Maybe "shake things up a bit" with the homeschooling (do more hands on things, maybe? Give them a one week "vacation" of sorts?)...
Right now, we're not even hsing. We moved the beginning of April, from NC to OK, and while we are pretty well settled in, we've got a garden to get in, 25 chicks already here, 50 more coming, 2 acres to mow (not counting the other eight we have, which we will hay off later), 3 ducklings, 3 goslings, and two turkey poults.
And we just got a puppy. And DH is working....a weird shift now, from 3:30-11:30 pm. So he's gone a lot.
Ugh. Well, I know what you mean, I guess, is what I wanted to say.
GL with the mom's in the play group
Rachel
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Married DH 4/1/95
Lily 3/11/00
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John 5/7/07
David 5/7/07
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CAgirl4God
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I have four...
and I remember our hardest yr of hsing was when our last ws born. I struggled alot. and in turn dh got frustrated and overwhelmed.
take it easy and go soft on yourself.
do what you can and let the rest go. (hugs)
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12stars
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| Posted: May 05 2008 at 4:58pm | IP Logged
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AAAHHH all you guys are wonderful thank you for replying I am trying to be nice to myself and I know our Good Lord is too but I am just impatient with myself and although I am happy and content with almost all of my life I just think that I dont have enough time.
Wow with 9 kids you cant help but be patient with yourself. I think God has brought us through this stage of life to learn that its not about ourselves and to sacrifice all that we are for our children. Although my mind limits this idea, God is bountiful with his limitless love for us, and helps me when I ask him.
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Erin
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12 stars, with a nursing baby you can't expect too much of yourself, however you indicate you have found the second year tough. Can you pinpoint exactly why, was it sheer logistics? A new baby? Were you feeling enthused yourself about what you used for homeschooling? Were you simply feeling the lack of support that you mention?
To answer your question I'm pregnant with number eight. I well remember number five that was when I realized that I was either going to sink or swim. I was only talking about this to a friend the other day, that was when I finally started looking at bringing some order out of chaos. I grew up in a large chaotic family but I knew there had to be an easier way. That was the year I finally started getting organised and putting some systems into place. Believe me I'm not highly organised yet (my ambition ) but my house is finally running a little smoother.
Prayers for you.
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Erin
Faith Filled Days
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12stars
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This year for hs we I used k12 California virtual acad. which worked great last year for my 12 and 8 yo dd. This year our 5 yo joined but did not do so well so I used CHC for her. And for various reasons I am ready to move on from this type of schooling I felt it too restrictive and my youngest didnt care for it too much. I will still use a charter but this time I get to pick and choose all of the curriculum and have way more freedom. I can add religion but it just wont be turned in. My dh insist on public hs because they cover most of the cost and I know not everone agrees to this type of hs but it was the only way I could bring my girls home, I am still praying that one day we can afford all that goes into independent hs.
Well with that said I guess I didnt realize that I had to cut back on most of the schooling. And for the most part I am organized when need be I have had to pick and choose what gets done. Part of the reason why I am on this forum is because I can when my lo is nursing  and it gives me some resting time. I also think instead of getting bugged out because my prayer life is not where it should be because my mind wanders and I get ditracted easily is just do it, when I can.
The 5th baby has really done me in lol  and I cant believe I want more!!!
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LisaR
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| Posted: May 05 2008 at 5:56pm | IP Logged
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I have 5 and really really ache for more. my baby turning 3 was quite hard on me.
I handle the needs of our family minute by minute. It is so hard to try to practice living in the present moment, but if I do that, with God's grace, it is so bearable. congrats on your reversion, your homeschooling (still fairly fresh!) journey, and your baby.
enjoy these moments. and remember, you are not alone!!
Peace of Christ,
lisa, a convert circa 1989!
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Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
Thomas 11
Dominic 8
Maria Gianna 5
Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
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12stars
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You know after understanding the church teachings on marriage and my vocation of being married I will never be the same. I now know that I am truly living out what Christ intends for me and in spite of myself I try answer all his callings, I try to live moment by moment but I guess sometimes I dont let myself. Thats why I always say Jesus I trust in You.
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mama251ders
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I have 5 as well, although we will not be having any more of our own biological babies  . We are waiting for God to plop a very courageous baby in our lap that needs a forever family! I found that last year was really hard when the baby was actually still a baby. Now that she is a little older (she will be 2 in August) things are starting to get better. I feel like I am beginning to come out of my 5 year long baby fog a little and I can actually think clearly! It's amazing what a few months of sleeping through the night will do! Until you can get to that point, go easy on yourself and everyone else. You might do a little investigating into unschooling just to see if you an set some things up in your home that the kids can do on their own and still be benefiting from educationally.
Blessings,
Betsie
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Mama to 5 Wonders
Benny, Braidon, Olivia, Anna and Saragh
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joann10
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We have 10 kids here, and all I can say is that God will always come through with the help you need, if you place your trust in Him.
Some days, I literally say throughout my day, "Jesus, help me place my trust in You". I know He will be here if I remember to ask for His help.
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Willa
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I have seven. I should add that I don't have as many as I would have liked. I really miss the three I lost before birth, and as my youngest reaches kindergarten age I feel sorrowful that our baby days seem to be over.Yet of course I'm blessed, which I am very aware of as well!
When my first three came very close together I felt very anxious about my ability to be a good mother to a handful. Right after that my fertility slowed down quite substantially -- three to 3.5 years of spacing between the children. My oldest is turning 22 and my youngest is 5 so you can see there is a wide range there. God knew what He was doing but I do notice that our fairly wide spacing, which might seem ideal to conventional wisdom, has left some empty spaces in our family. The children aren't close enough in age to be the close buddies that the older set were with only 2 years or less between them.
It is really a gift to be fertile. I know that doesn't necessarily help on the overwhelmed days but it is something that I used to meditate about often, and it gave me a sense of the preciousness of children that has helped me through many a disgusting diaper or chaotic kitchen scene. Kimberly Hahn said "changing the world one diaper at a time!" Really, having a little one around makes everything seem so new and worthwhile.
Can you tell I miss those days?
I'd add that things do get less demanding as you get more and more older kids. They help a lot just by being around. The hardest years physically are the ones when you have a crew of very small ones needing so much of you. It changes as the age ranges change.
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AMDG
Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
Take Up and Read
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12stars
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| Posted: May 05 2008 at 11:14pm | IP Logged
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I wonder about NFP and how that is going to pan out in my fertilty as I am very fertile and have not really had the opportunity to really practice it. I keep getting pregnant. Once I finally got off ABC for good I got pregnant, and then again. So I dont know what that is like to not be fertile. My mom was the same way.
It has been about 5ish years since we came back to the church but it took me longer to accept the church's position on BC Thank God I understand now.
My oldest 2 help me alot with the boys and I also have my 5 year old helping so I do know whats that like.
It has been quite a journey for us.
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Claudia in Southern California
Wife to George,
Mom to DD 14, DD 10, DD 7, DS 4, DS 2, 1 in heaven, and now due 5/11.
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folklaur
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Only three, but we are hoping to adopt very soon.
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JodieLyn
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I too am due with #8.
As far as being overwhelmed.. is there another way to be?
I think a lot of the problem may be that you have to use the full curriculum for each grade.. when you can go with a more relaxed style.. you can have an older one work with a younger one for reinforcment of concepts.. and get children on the same timeline for history or such.. reading aloud can be incorportated into the curriculum for all of them more easily.. and things like that.
If I had to use the full curriculum for each child. I would look into things that the kids can work somewhat on their own.
Teach the kids to come to you with their book and their question. Space out lessons so that you can have your older kids play with the 2 yr old while you work with the 5 yr old type of thing.
And remember to only look at doing *the next thing*.. it's when we look at see all the many things we have to do all day.. or all week or all month that we go into overwhelmedness (is that a word? ) Just keep doing the next thing and it won't seem near so bad.
Also have you tried a baby carrier? I find a maya wrap ring sling to work really well for young babies.. and with a bit of practise you can even nurse in it so that might give you a bit more mobility and free hands at times that you need them. There's so many carriers out there now.. don't go by what's on the shelf at walmart.. but really look into it from people that wear their babies a lot.. theirs wraps and ring slings and ergo or mei tai carriers that are more structured.. there's back carries and front carries and hip carries.. straps over two shoulders or just over one.. anyway.. way to much to list.. the one caution is that the carriers that the baby hangs from their crotch (baby bjorn) aren't the best and often are harder on mom's back too.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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Lisbet
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12stars - I don't know what it is like to not be fertile either...and we've never used ABC or NFP! ;) And trust me, ask the ladies here (they know just how baby greedy I am!) I am saddened when I think of the day that I will no longer be fertile. God created us this way, society distorts it. Being fertile, fruitful, and faithful---it's all good!
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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MarieC
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12stars wrote:
| I wonder about NFP and how that is going to pan out in my fertilty as I am very fertile and have not really had the opportunity to really practice it. I keep getting pregnant. Once I finally got off ABC for good I got pregnant, and then again. So I dont know what that is like to not be fertile. |
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I could have written your post almost verbatim. [We threw out ABC after #3] My fifth child just celebrated his 2nd birthday in April. We haven't used NFP since he was born and no baby yet. My middle three children are less than 3.5 years apart. You just never know when that "high fertility" will come to an end. I was thinking about that last night. At least now I know I'm not missing anyone God had planned for me. I guess for now he's not planning anyone.
This isn't saying that I think NFP is a bad idea...I think for some it's probably a very good thing. And I haven't ruled out using it at some point in the future.
I guess my point is that super fertility isn't always a given...God knows what we can handle. Truthfully, if we'd had a baby at some point in the past year or so, it would have been difficult for my family. Doesn't mean we don't want it, and if I could have "ordered one up" I would have...but God knew what was best.
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Marie
mom to 6
dds-98, 00, 02 and 09 & dss-03 and 06
Out in the Orchard
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Mary G
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My dh and I are a "yours, mine and ours" kind of family. Dh had been married (annulled) and has 3 children (and 5 grandkids); I was widowed and have 2...we got married and had 3 more together.
Long story short? 8 kids (5 grandkids!)
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MaryG
3 boys (22, 12, 8)2 girls (20, 11)
my website that combines my schooling, hand-knits work, writing and everything else in one spot!
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JenniferS
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We have seven, ages almost 11 years down to 3 months. This is our third year of homeschooling. The first two years, after we brought our two oldest home, it was difficult. The first year, I had a baby in November, and our year was very hectic, add to that major medical problems for dh. The following year, we did a boxed curriculum that was just not the right fit for us. This year, has been much more fruitful for us as a family. Even though we added a new little one in January, we really have had a good year. Maybe it's that it took three years for my two oldest to completely adjust, I don't know. we have relaxed quite a bit on being "school at home." I think that really helps a lot. Our first couple of years were pretty dry.
Jen
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: How many kids do you all have?
