| Author | |
Lisa R
Forum All-Star
Joined: May 29 2005
Location: Ohio
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 789
|
| Posted: Feb 21 2008 at 4:40pm | IP Logged
|
 |
|
Here is our situation. My dh is in the Air Force and due to retire in Oct. 09. We were offered the "possible" opportunity to move to Wright-Patt AFB in Dayton, OH this summer. This is where we want to retire and have been trying to get an assignment to our whole military career. We've never been offered a chance to move there until now. If we stay where we are, dh will most likely not be deployed (the possiblity increases with the move). Not something either of us would want to happen.
Also, we are bringing Rachel home next month or early April. Keep in mind, too, that we DO NOT like where we are currently stationed. Nothing against WA but it's pretty far from family and we have not made any close friends here in 5 years! None of us! I've never experienced that before in my life. It's very lonely. 
Here are some questions we've been asking ourselve:
1. Would a move be too hard on Rachel this soon?
2. Do we chance the move and deployment increase?
3. Time goes so fast, what's another 1 1/2 years here? Even it we hate it.
We need opinions from someone who is not emotionally attached to the situation. We just can't decide what would be best for us! Too many emotions are involved. Like lonliness, closeness to family, settling down finally, owning a home and not living on base....on and on.
So, what would you do?
__________________
God Bless!
Lisa, married to my best friend, Ray and loving my blessings Joshua (17)and Jacob(15), Hannah(7) and Rachel (5)!Holy Family Academy
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Mary G
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5790
|
| Posted: Feb 21 2008 at 4:44pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Lisa,
I'm a big risk taker and don't stay put anywhere too awfully long ... that said, I'd go ahead and do the move since you want to end up there anyway, right? A new move so soon after getting Rachel shouldn't be too hard on her ... better than if you ended up moving in a 1 to a year-and-a-half. Trust to God's providence re: deployment -- he COULD potentially be deployed no matter where you are.
Hope that helps a bit .... I'll definitely add you to our discernment prayers!
__________________
MaryG
3 boys (22, 12, 8)2 girls (20, 11)
my website that combines my schooling, hand-knits work, writing and everything else in one spot!
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
guitarnan
Forum Moderator
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: Maryland
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 10883
|
| Posted: Feb 21 2008 at 5:05pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I would move.
I think you'll need to figure out a way to explain to Rachel from the beginning that you are working on getting a new home and that you'll all be moving there.
If that's where you want to retire, let the Air Force pay to send you there; then, if you found a different city later on (Dayton suburb) you potentially could use your 1 free retirement move to get there.
You'll be much happier and more relaxed in a place you love and want to live in. This happiness will feel great, trust me. (There's nothing like moving "home" after several years in a place you find annoying.)
Deployments...I think Mary is right. If deployment does happen, at least you would have family there to help. I've done the deployed-away-from-everyone thing a couple of times and it's very lonely. Also, the family members all pester YOU to support THEM by telephone. In person and nearby, it's a whole other thing.
I know it's agonizing. I hope my thoughts help you. We've moved 10 times or so (I get mad when I count them), so I've had some experience with these decisions, I guess...
__________________
Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
mavmama
Forum All-Star
Joined: Nov 01 2006
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 618
|
| Posted: Feb 21 2008 at 5:07pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
We moved 1 year after each of our sons' homecomings. For both, it really rocked their worlds and their behaviors showed it! When I first read your post I was going to say it would be too hard on Rachel, but now, thinking about our situation, I think the move earlier (like right after homecoming) may have been easier for the boys. Probably would have pushed ME completely over the edge, but in hindsight they might not have been affected as much with an earlier move.
I'm not much help, but will pray for your discernment. It's a tough place to be in.
__________________
Liz
Blessed by 4 wonders
dd11, dd911, ds9, ds8
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
lapazfarm
Forum All-Star
Joined: July 21 2005
Location: Alaska
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 6082
|
| Posted: Feb 21 2008 at 5:37pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I would go for it, for the single reason that if you are closer to family you will have more support for dealing with any issues Rachel may present.
In addition, a happier mom makes a happier child.
__________________
Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
LaPaz Home Learning
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
juststartn
Forum All-Star
Joined: Jan 17 2007
Location: Oklahoma
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1321
|
| Posted: Feb 21 2008 at 6:36pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Ditto to everyone else...
I'd move.
We're looking at retiring in less than a month. Yeah. Actually, March 5, which is closer to what, 2 weeks? Yeah. So we're REAL short timers (actually, we were short timers before we knew we were short timers, lol).
I wish we could have moved to OK before now...but now is better than never...
I'd definitely move...
Rachel (the Army wife)
__________________
Married DH 4/1/95
Lily 3/11/00
Helena(Layna) 5/23/02
Sophia 4/19/04
John 5/7/07
David 5/7/07
Ava Maria, in the arms of Jesus, 9/5/08
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Jordan
Forum Pro
Joined: Nov 01 2006
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 137
|
| Posted: Feb 22 2008 at 4:42pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
My husband is also in the AF. Personally, it makes a bigger impact on my family for him to be gone than other factors outside our family. I would think that even if you did move to the place where you've been wanting to go, there would be an adjustment period and it would still take a while for you to feel at home and comfortable there. I would have a hard time dealing with a new town, a new child, and my husband being deployed all at once. Is there a good chance you could still go to Ohio as soon as your dh retires?
I can see how this would be a tough choice. I will pray for you.
__________________
Jordan
Cheerios & Fingerpaints
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
guitarnan
Forum Moderator
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: Maryland
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 10883
|
| Posted: Feb 22 2008 at 5:35pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Jordan has a good point...I guess I read into your original post that you would have family relatively nearby to help, visit, etc., which kind of implies familiarity with the area, but perhaps that's not the case.
I know I'm more "grin-and-bear-it" than many other military spouses I know. I've never moved back to my parents' home during a deployment and I am not afraid to drive in strange places, shop alone, etc. If you're not the intrepid type and you've never explored the Dayton area before (it's nice!), I'd suggest giving Jordan's points some serious thought.
The one thing I would definitely do - but maybe you know this - is find a home with a basement (tornadoes) and have a good family emergency plan, so your dh, if deployed, would know where you would go if something happened to your home. (We have a plan for terrorist attacks, hurricanes, pretty much anything that could happen.)
Having said that, I would still move.
__________________
Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
KC in TX
Forum All-Star
Joined: Aug 05 2005
Location: Texas
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2621
|
| Posted: Feb 22 2008 at 8:03pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I think it would all depend on your personality. I'd move just because of the loneliness factor. It's hard, hard, hard to be lonely. Been there often.
Of course, we've always had the deployment thing hanging over our heads being Army so that's not a factor here.
Praying for you to find a clear path.
__________________
KC,
wife to Ben (10/94),
Mama to LB ('98)
Michaela ('01)
Emma ('03)
Jordan ('05)
And, my 2 angels, Rose ('08) and Mark ('09)
The Cabbage Patch
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Lisa R
Forum All-Star
Joined: May 29 2005
Location: Ohio
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 789
|
| Posted: Feb 25 2008 at 4:27pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Thanks everyone for the advice.  Much to ponder. For now, we're just waiting on the AF to let us know IF we're moving or not. Who knows how long that will be?! 
__________________
God Bless!
Lisa, married to my best friend, Ray and loving my blessings Joshua (17)and Jacob(15), Hannah(7) and Rachel (5)!Holy Family Academy
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
guitarnan
Forum Moderator
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: Maryland
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 10883
|
| Posted: Feb 25 2008 at 5:48pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
LOL!
BTDT with the orders thing. I hope waiting isn't too stressful. At least you know retirement is just around the corner...
__________________
Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: What would you do? *Long*
