| Author | |
Jordan
Forum Pro
Joined: Nov 01 2006
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 137
|
| Posted: Feb 20 2008 at 7:10pm | IP Logged
|
 |
|
At the beginning of this summer, we have the opportunity to move to another house close-by, and I’m trying to decide if it’s a great idea or if it would be ridiculous. We have felt blessed to be in the house we’re in now (renting) but it has one huge flaw and a few less-significant, but still annoying traits. Moving to the other house has its own cons, but lots of pros too. The two biggest factors we’re considering are the backyard and the amount of time we’d be in the new house before relocating.
Our current house has a backyard, but it’s not easily accessible, it’s on a hill and has only a small, flat, square area, and my young children cannot play there without me being right there the whole time. Last year, my little boy, newly 2 yo, went down the hill, couldn’t slow himself down and ended up smacking his face on a concrete wall at the bottom. It was awful. There is also no flat area around for my children to ride their bikes. We have to pack them into the van and drive to a flatter place. As a result, we spend little time in our yard and not enough overall time outside. And for all that fun, our yard requires A LOT of regular maintenance. Sometimes dh must leave town without notice, and the yard work falls to me. I cannot do it alone and where we live, you can be fined for not keeping up with your grass and weeds.
To contrast, the yard behind the other house is adequately-sized, flat, completely enclosed, is easily accessible and visible from the main living area, would require very little maintenance besides mowing (25 min. with an electric mower), and the locking gate in the back of the yard opens directly to a path where we could take nature walks and bike rides through the lovely countryside that the house overlooks. The paths lead through woods, farm fields, alongside a small creek (ditch?), and would be perfect for nature study. This other house is also very close to a fantastic playground.
Honestly, we were not looking for another place, but a friend of mine lives in the house currently, loves it, and asked me if I know anyone who might be interested in the house when she leaves. I’ve worked hard to set up our current house in a way that works for us, and besides living with a few awkwardly placed rooms, it does function quite well. The other house is newer and fancier but I don't know for sure that I could make the inside work as well as what I have now. The part of moving that possibly seems crazy to me is that we’d only live there for about 16 months, maybe less. The rent in the other house is actually cheaper but it wouldn’t save us much, if any, overall because of the expense of moving.
Of course the matter is more complicated, but what I’m wondering is, do you think that gaining a more usable backyard would merit a local move, even for a short time period?
FYI, next year will be our first year homeschooling. My kids are 5 and almost 3. There’s also a chance (we pray) that we’ll have another little one next year (so Mama relaxing with baby while kids run free outside is a bonus). We live overseas because dh is military.
I'm not really leaning one way or the other. I honestly just don’t know. I don’t want to put my family through the stress of a move or leave our cozy home, without a good reason. When we move back to the States, finding a house with a great yard is at the top or our list. Is it okay for my kids to continue not spending lots of time outdoors for the next 19 months, provided we have a good yard for them then?
Any tips on making the best of a difficult yard?
Sorry this post is so long but thanks for reading through it.
__________________
Jordan
Cheerios & Fingerpaints
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
lapazfarm
Forum All-Star
Joined: July 21 2005
Location: Alaska
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 6082
|
| Posted: Feb 20 2008 at 7:29pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
IMHO a usable yard is invaluable.Children need a place to stretch their legs and connect with nature on their own terms, and the set-up you described sounds ideal. With the added benefit of the easy access to the nature trail, that totally seals the deal! I would go for it. You say "only 16 months", but that seems like a long time to go without a yard, considering the ages of your children.
__________________
Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
LaPaz Home Learning
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
SeaStar
Forum Moderator
Joined: Sept 16 2006
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 9068
|
| Posted: Feb 20 2008 at 7:34pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Both our last two homes we have bought because of the yard. We spend so much time outside, a great backyard is like gold for us. A safe place for the kids to play is so important. I would go for it, especially if there is the chance of a new baby. The older kids could run around and you could relax knowing they are safe.
__________________
Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
SQUILT Music Appreciation
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Jordan
Forum Pro
Joined: Nov 01 2006
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 137
|
| Posted: Feb 20 2008 at 7:49pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Thanks, Theresa and Melinda. I'm actually surprised by your response but I guess I shouldn't be.
I should also add that we have never lived in a house with a good yard. Before we moved here, we lived on base, and our yard was full of painful sandspurs. Sandspurs and toddlers don't mix.
Oh, my poor deprived kids. 
__________________
Jordan
Cheerios & Fingerpaints
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
JodieLyn
Forum Moderator
Joined: Sept 06 2006
Location: Oregon
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 12234
|
| Posted: Feb 20 2008 at 7:51pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
It really depends.. at the ages your kids are.. I could handle not having a good yard.. but when we were looking to buy this house.. we did tell the agent that a large yard was more important than a large house.
Having a good yard especially as you get more kids is a major thing though. I find it most important though when I have older kids that need more space to run and still have littles that want to go out and play too.
The time that the unusable yard takes from you though when you're already hard pressed to deal with that.. in addition to needing to take the kids elsewhere to play.. now that time commitment would push me more to the move than just not having a yard would.
__________________
Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
juststartn
Forum All-Star
Joined: Jan 17 2007
Location: Oklahoma
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1321
|
| Posted: Feb 20 2008 at 8:30pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
We're on 1/4 acre right now...so figure only 1/8th of an acre for the backyard. If I did not have this backyard, I would be ready to go stark raving mad. No, really. STARK. RAVING. MAD.
Now we will be moving to 10+acres, with a much bigger house.
I say move.
Rachel
__________________
Married DH 4/1/95
Lily 3/11/00
Helena(Layna) 5/23/02
Sophia 4/19/04
John 5/7/07
David 5/7/07
Ava Maria, in the arms of Jesus, 9/5/08
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Michaela
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 25 2005
Location: Washington
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2052
|
| Posted: Feb 20 2008 at 8:34pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
One of the two main reasons we purchased this house was because of the backyard.
My children used to play outside every day for HOURS. Especially when they were your children's age. We didn't have official school work or places to go.
We would just eat breakfast, they'd watch 1 half hour kid show and then we were out all day except for lunch and snack...which we ate outside. (We came in for nap time, too)
We moved into my mom's house, with thoughts of buying it, and I knew the yard was going to be a deal breaker.
We had to get rid of all our outdoor play equipment because of the landscaping. I could never see my kids when they went out to play, and they could only play on one (small) side of the house. The rest of the yard was taken up by an add-on.
We thought the small yard wouldn't be a problem because the house was on a deadend. We just thought they could ride their bikes out front instead of playing in the back.
In a secure backyard, I could go inside without worrying. Out front, they needed constant supervision because of cars & normal mommy worry.
I asked this same question on another board when I had second thoughts about a small (no) backyard. I was told children have been living in apartments or with no yard..with no harm done. True, but we have seen the difference in our children getting out to play and explore, and God willing, we won't live in another place without at least a decent yard.
__________________
Michaela
Momma to Nicholas 16, Nathan 13, Olivia 13, Teresa 6, & Anthony 3
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
SallyT
Forum All-Star
Joined: Aug 08 2007
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2489
|
| Posted: Feb 20 2008 at 10:36pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Ditto what everyone else says about the yard. One of the great attractions of our current house for me was that the yard had a lot of potential -- it's not that big, but we have a nice deck area, a wooded area, and open space for play, so there's variety. I love having outdoor space for the kids -- and being able to send them out without your having to watch them closely means they go out that much more. My 5 and 4yos love messing around in the dirt, and I let them have at it.
We lived in apartments for a long time with our kids -- a flat in England with a shared, small garden, then a townhouse with a patio. I really liked our urban English life, and there was enough outdoor space that the kids could at least play out a little, but I do love having room for them to roam.
Sally
__________________
Castle in the Sea
Abandon Hopefully
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Jordan
Forum Pro
Joined: Nov 01 2006
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 137
|
| Posted: Feb 21 2008 at 1:07am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Does the actual quality of the yard make much difference? The backyard in the other house is basically a fenced-in rectangle of grass with a small patio next to the house. The scenery is pretty but there are no trees or bushes in the yard itself. We have a swingset, sandbox, etc, but that's all that would be there. By nature of it being an old house, our current yard, though it's on the steep hill, has some features. It has apple trees, three blueberry bushes, roses, other bushes and flowers, a sloped concrete driveway for chalking, and a long, narrow, flat strip at the bottom of the yard that was likely once used as a vegetable garden. The fact that it's not easy to access and I can't leave the kids alone is probably the main reason it's not used more. To access it, we have to leave the main floor of our house and go out the master bedroom on the bottom floor. If the kids need anything and I have to go in to get it, I feel very uncomfortable leaving them out there for even a minute or two.
Would your positive feelings about having a backyard also apply to a backyard that is simply a flat grass rectangle?
Thanks.
__________________
Jordan
Cheerios & Fingerpaints
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Carole N.
Forum All-Star
Joined: Oct 28 2006
Location: Wales
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 4484
|
| Posted: Feb 21 2008 at 2:57am | IP Logged
|
|
|
We have just recently moved here from a home in the states. Our children grew up with a hugh backyard to play in. We have always had a play area and pets something that we feel is very important for the children.
I can honestly tell you that our children played more games in our yard and it really encouraged their creative thinking. Now that they are older, the backyard is not so much a play area, but is still important in our family.
A large backyard is not a reality here, but a yard of some sort is a requirement. We have looked at several homes that were "laid to patio." They just will not work with a dog! One of the homes had a gorgeous yard all landscaped including a pond. A dog would have worked, but I had to think about the poor fish in the pond.
Depending on how much you like to garden, a square plot with just grass it fine (esp. with children who might dig up your flowers). There are so many things that you can do in a backyard! Currently, our rental is on a hill that is landscaped ... no place for soccer which is key in our family.
Your children are still young, but I would encourage you to have a yard for them to play in. You can always make it a "project" to add a vegtable garden, bird feeds, etc. Great learning experiences! And plenty of room for games and imagination.
Just my $.02 worth. 
__________________
 Carole ... in Wales
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Michaela
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 25 2005
Location: Washington
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2052
|
| Posted: Feb 21 2008 at 7:50am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Jordan wrote:
| Would your positive feelings about having a backyard also apply to a backyard that is simply a flat grass rectangle? |
|
|
Absolutely.
The yard doesn't have to be acres and acres.
We had the simple, square or rectangle yards. Basically still do, but it's a much bigger rectangle. Perfect to see our children while doing the dishes, large enough for outdoor play sets, and space to run around.
When I wrote "explore" in my previous post, I certainly don't mean the yard has to be enormous.
The yard, no matter the size, needs to be child friendly. It's when there are serious problems with a yard that you find yourself worrying when your children are out there, dreading go out there, or saying, "No." or don't play over there....don't touch that....
If the yard is child (family) friendly you can relax while they have the freedom to enjoy and explore the yard.
__________________
Michaela
Momma to Nicholas 16, Nathan 13, Olivia 13, Teresa 6, & Anthony 3
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Martha
Forum All-Star
Joined: Aug 25 2005
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2291
|
| Posted: Feb 21 2008 at 9:03am | IP Logged
|
|
|
for 6 years I lived in ahouse where 90% of the time we couldn't play in the front or back yard.
we moved for lots of reasons, but one thing I'm glad I insisted on was a nice neighborhood and usable yard.
so much of our arguments and tantrums were simply a lack of exercise and freedom.
I think i'd live in a tent in the woods before I'd ever choose to live in house without a decent yard again. I had no idea how bad off we were until I knew the difference. To be able to drop everything and simply enjoy a beautiful day is truely priceless and does wonders for family harmony.
I'd move. Just look at it as practice for the bigger move.
__________________
Martha
mama to 7 boys & 4 girls
Yes, they're all ours!
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Servant2theKing
Forum All-Star
Joined: Nov 13 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1505
|
| Posted: Feb 21 2008 at 9:26am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Three factors seem to stand out from your post...
One, you would only be in the new house approx. 16 months; is it worth the disruption and all that is entailed in moving to go there?
Two, the idea was initiated by someone else, which can sometimes mean it is not really something God is truly guiding your family toward.
Three, with a 5yo, 3yo and possibly another one on the way, moving could be stressful from many angles; would the advantage of the better yard outweigh the disadvantages of uprooting for such a short time, especially when you will have to move again almost before you have the opportunity to get settled in well in this other home?
Perhaps you and your husband should pray about whether this is indeed a good move for your family, particularly considering the factors you shared.
__________________
All for Christ, our Saviour and King, servant
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
juststartn
Forum All-Star
Joined: Jan 17 2007
Location: Oklahoma
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1321
|
| Posted: Feb 21 2008 at 9:51am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Hm. I'd not say that someone else suggesting something means that it is not somethig God wants for you/your family. Frankly, I can come up with a large number of instances where Our Lord has used another person/s to point out a possibility, or an option, or a change, where we would not have seen it otherwise.
Think on it. How many men and women have said that they weren't even thinking of the priesthood/religious life, til someone they respected pointed out that "Hey, maybe you're called to 'x' ".
Does that mean that everything anyone else suggests is from God or is His will? No. But it certainly shouldn't disqualify it.
I'd take the disruption of moving over living for over a year in a house without a really usable backyard/play space. I know I would go INSANE if I could not send the dc out to play--in your case, at least the oldest one.
But that is just my $.02
Rachel (whose front yard is a hill, so I kwym about mowing it)
__________________
Married DH 4/1/95
Lily 3/11/00
Helena(Layna) 5/23/02
Sophia 4/19/04
John 5/7/07
David 5/7/07
Ava Maria, in the arms of Jesus, 9/5/08
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
lapazfarm
Forum All-Star
Joined: July 21 2005
Location: Alaska
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 6082
|
| Posted: Feb 21 2008 at 9:58am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Yes, even if it is just a flat rectangle of grass.
I think about the days here when we can't get outside because of weather or illness, or whatever reason, and how cranky we all get. And what a difference it makes in all of our attitudes if I can just say "ok, time to go out and play!" and send them out the door.
Honestly, if I had to choose between a house and a yard, I'd choose the yard and pitch a tent!LOL!
__________________
Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
LaPaz Home Learning
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Cay Gibson
Forum All-Star
Joined: July 16 2005
Location: Louisiana
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5193
|
| Posted: Feb 21 2008 at 10:12am | IP Logged
|
|
|
My friend Linda, also on this forum, had a lovely HUGE Victorian home some years ago (I was green with envy  )...but only a pocket-size yard. They moved into a much smaller house with a bigger yard and she told me they would exchange the bigger house for the bigger yard any day.
__________________
Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Rachel May
Forum All-Star
Joined: June 24 2005
Location: Kansas
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2057
|
| Posted: Feb 21 2008 at 10:16am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Jordan wrote:
| Would your positive feelings about having a backyard also apply to a backyard that is simply a flat grass rectangle? |
|
|
Yes! We went from a horrible hill and mud (for 12 months) to semi- wilderness, open spaces, and playgrounds (7 months) to a flat rectangle in a fence but with some good front yard spaces too (1 year now). Definitely, the middle house was best, but the Army knocked it down. This one is WAY better than the first even though I don't love the floor plan.
You'll have plenty of opportunities to learn to make awkward insides work. It's a part of your education.
__________________
Rachel
Thomas and Anthony (10), Maria (8), Charles (6), Cecilia (5), James (3), and Joseph (1)
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Jordan
Forum Pro
Joined: Nov 01 2006
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 137
|
| Posted: Feb 21 2008 at 10:16am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Servant2theKing wrote:
Two, the idea was initiated by someone else, which can sometimes mean it is not really something God is truly guiding your family toward. |
|
|
I think I know what you mean. While I agree with Rachel that it certainly happens that God can guide us through the suggestions of others and it has happened to me before, I think you are saying that maybe I had no desire to move before someone suggested it and perhaps it isn't a true desire. Actually, a few months ago, dh and I were talking about moving but we dismissed it because of how complicated it would be to try to find a place and then move. Additionally, I have walked past this exact house from the path behind it, not knowing who lived there, and remarked on about three occasions to my dh that "that yard would be perfect for us." I'd only seen the yard from the back so I didn't recognize it until my friend pulled back her curtains to show me her yard. How's that for coincindence? Another thought is, part of the reason we dismissed the idea of moving was the trouble of finding a place. Here, we didn't go looking, but the opportunity presented itself.
I also agree that praying about this decision is very important. There is no need to make an immediate decision so we have some time to pray and ponder.
Thank you all for your thoughtful suggestions.
I talked to my MIL this afternoon. She offered to fly over this summer to help us if we decide to move. My MIL is super-energy woman and is tremendously helpful, so this would be huge.
__________________
Jordan
Cheerios & Fingerpaints
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
folklaur
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2816
|
| Posted: Feb 21 2008 at 12:41pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
we are moving from AZ to NV. We had originally planned on getting an apartment to start...but we changed our mind as we just really want a yard! The house we are in now is not great in that respect (I can't see the kids at all, it is a poor set-up) but they need that space to stretch and run and jump and be noisy.
Your description - with the yard and access to trails for nature walks - that sounds wonderful.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
JodieLyn
Forum Moderator
Joined: Sept 06 2006
Location: Oregon
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 12234
|
| Posted: Feb 21 2008 at 1:40pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
oh as far as the length of time.. we've moved just across town.. we'd gotten an apt. (hard to find anything when you're crossing state lines (about an 18 hr drive and your dh flys down and has one weekend to find something) Moved down there for dh's job.. got pregnant.. had the baby and through my midwife were able to get into a house with a yard. We were only in that city for a total of 21 months.. in the house less than a year... and it really was worth the move.. both of them.
You just have to not take months and months to get settled into the house.. put in the hard work and get it done and then you can enjoy the rest of the time living there.
__________________
Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
|
|
4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: How Important is a Good Backyard?
