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Ruth
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| Posted: Jan 12 2008 at 6:12pm | IP Logged
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We just got back from a get-together for my mom's birthday and I am so upset because one of my family members was dressed very innapropriately. I couldn't even look at her in the eye because of how much she was showing, and I can only imagine how difficult it was for the men in my family to do the same. It makes me very upset that my children had to witness this, especially our boys. She dresses like this all the time. I'm not sure what to do about it, except to stop getting together with them, but how do you stay away from sibblings? I don't have the courage to say anything.
Will you join me in praying for our children and for the rest of my family? I posted a prayer for purity in the prayer forum.
Virgin Most Pure, pray for us!
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Ruth
mom to 7 miracles
My family blog
Loreto Rosaries
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KackyK
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| Posted: Jan 12 2008 at 8:32pm | IP Logged
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I don't know if this would help, because what we have encountered similar to this is with a cousin...sibling would be hard. But we have a cousin, who is living out wedlock with a man, and this man has many tatoos, but in particular he has a naked lady on the inside of his arm from his elbow to wrist! So he has been asked nicely, by several different family members (including myself) who are hosting "events" to cover it up. Luckily they have all been winter events, so it's a bit easier to cover (although apparently he still complains to his fiancee, our cousin, because he is very overweight and longsleeves make him hot  ).
Anyhow, I would say, I think even if it is a sibling, you can ask if they would wear more modest clothes as you have young impressionable children (what we say). I feel like you can definitely say that if you are going to an event NOT hosted by the person who is offensive...if it's their house, then I don't think you can ask, you can just say you won't come and you can tell the reason or not.
I also have said, in explaining to my cousin why I think covering up is important, I compared it to someone coming to a party with a Playboy and deciding to just open it up on the coffee table. You could say something similar...maybe not Playboy, that would probably really offend her...but KWIM?
And one other point I told my cousin was, in the end, yes my children may end up seeing this tatoo, and I will have to tell my children this was a bad choice. That it is a sin to do this, breaks commandment #6. And I pointed out to my cousin, this will then be a part of how they think of this man. You too could point this out...that you have taught your children modesty is what we do and when they see those that are not, then unfortunately it will cloud how they think of that person.
I had to explain this to my cousin because she kept saying, oh they'll get use to it, I have. Yes, I think adults can get "use to it", like if you had no children you would be annoyed and uncomfortable, but you can bear it more as an adult (especially a sibling). Children should not be expected to do that. And it is our job to keep them as innocent as possible!
Okay...this got long...and probably wasn't very helpful! But I do understand how frustrating it is!
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KackyK
Mom to 8 - 3 dd, 5ds & 4 babes in heaven
Beginning With the Assumption
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Lisbet
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| Posted: Jan 14 2008 at 4:35am | IP Logged
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Ruth, I know how frustrating this can be. We have dealt with this very thing from a sibling (dh's) in the past.
After one get together I recall my then 5 year old asking me why Aunt__ had two butts. I was very very confused through most of that conversation, until I finally figured out that he was referring to her cleavage!!! She was wearing a very low cut top and she is very large on top. Proves that even the littlest ones notice!
I wish I had a solution for you, I'm not sure what I would have done had it continued. When this particular aunt married a few years ago, she really toned down how she dressed.
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
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Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
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Martha
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| Posted: Jan 14 2008 at 8:11am | IP Logged
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Lisbet wrote:
| After one get together I recall my then 5 year old asking me why Aunt__ had two butts. |
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I imagine them over-hearing that might make them reconsider!
I know I am not overly proud of my bum, I sure don't want to appear to have two of them, much less one on my chest!
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Martha
mama to 7 boys & 4 girls
Yes, they're all ours!
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Nina
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| Posted: Jan 16 2008 at 5:56pm | IP Logged
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That is so funny.I have to work very hard to have charitable thoughts when I see people dressed like that.
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Becky Parker
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| Posted: Jan 16 2008 at 7:59pm | IP Logged
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Lisa that is so funny.
I don't mean to make light of the issue - we have the same problem. At Christmas my sil was dressed very inappropriately and to make matters worse, her dd was to. My 14 yo ds turned bright red when he saw them both. I just talked to him and distracted him but I had no clue what to do other than that. I know he was just as embarassed as I was. On the way home he said, "jeese, don't they know it's winter?!"
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Becky
Wife to Wes, Mom to 6 wonderful kids on Earth and 4 in Heaven!
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: No more family get-togethers?
